just call me...fanatic...T_E_A_D_A

I went to see T.e.a.d.a/Danu in concert last night. Cost of ticket $20. I didn't get lost on the way surprisingly considering that I hadn't been there before. The show started off in true Celtic fashion with a local pipe and drum band, complete with tartans, highland bagpipes and tall socks. I love bagpipes.

Then T.e.a.d.a followed. Tristan was his usual dreamy self, he introduced all their songs and gave a little background about the composer of it/where it originated. My only regret is that I didn't bring their CD with me. They were signing. I could have had Tristan(and the other lads) sign my CD. I guess I just have to go to the next show they play here. That'll be in September and I can't wait.

It was even better for me than when I saw them at Christmas b/c I actually recognized most of the songs they played this time. Their album is #1 in Ireland. Yet these guys are so down to earth. I spoke to 3 of them. Oisin, Sean and of course the lovely Tristan. You can see them in this video. The music sounds a bit 'tinny' in the video link. You can get a better idea of their sound (and the way they sound live) from their site when you click link for individual songs. Sean plays bouzouki/banjo and guitar, Oisin's on fiddle, the wonderful Tristan on bodhran(a type of drum), Damian on flute. The guy on button accordion in the video is Paul. Him I've yet to see. Both this time and the last time I saw T.e.a.d.a, they had Tommy Martin instead playing Irish bagpipes/tin whistle. He is also a brilliant musician. I would have bought his CD last night but didn't have enough cash on me. Next time. Even though I didn't have their CD and wasn't buying another, that didn't stop me from going over for a chat with "the lads". "The lads" is how Muireen from Danu referred to T.e.a.d.a. I'm going to start saying that all the time now - the lads :)

I wondered whether Tristan watered the bodhran he plays from the same water that he drinks from. Just before he starts playing, he pours a little water on it, rubs it in, then keeps a mean beat on it. So I asked him, and in his lovely, Irish lilt, he told me, "no, never, it's sacred...has it's own water bottle". And he smiled. And I may have giggled and said something inane. No matter. I mean it's not like I could really envision having a relationship with a musician...who lives in a different country...who travels all year with his band. If I could though, Tristan would be the one.
I also chatted with Sean and asked him to help me pronounce the name of their latest CD Inne Amarach(yesterday, tomorrow). He said I was close, and that the accent on the 'e' in inne and the first 'a' in amarach is called a "fada" and gives it a long vowel sound. Maybe he was just being kind and I butchered it trying to say it. Oh well. I also asked Oisin how to say his name and its something like 'o-sheen'. I tried and am sure I didn't quite say it right either. At least Tristan's name was easy. Can't be butchering the name of the love of my life now can I :)

As for the show, it was great, the music was so beautifully played. It almost breaks your heart but then it mends again at the end. This is what I get from most of the Celtic music I listen to.

Danu followed after and they were really great as well. They sing as well as have instrumental songs and they have a slightly different feel from T.e.a.d.a(who mostly do instrumental pieces) but still enjoyable. They were funny, made random jokes about each other throughout their set. Very fun. A fun fact: both of the fiddlers from each band are named Oisin. I wonder if you have to take up the fiddle if you are named Oisin. Coincidence?

They all came out for one encore performance...together. It was really cool. I don't know if this is the norm or not since I've not been to many concerts and the ones I have been to have only 1 band/musician playing. They played like they were used to all playing together - sign of great musicians.

I'm so pleased that I went, in spite of the fact that I had to go alone b/c S was out of town and Z said it was too much money. Never mind the fact that Z wanted to go out on a bar crawl with M&D tomorrow for St. Paddy's. When I said that I wasn't interested in standing out in the cold and drinking, not much drinking since I'd be driving. She suggested we could get a cab. Yeah, a cab, plus drinks, then food. More than $20 in addition to the discomfort and hassle. I'm not in the mood for that. Not my idea of a good time. At least not anymore(methinks I might be getting old(er). I think my $20 was more than well spent to see a couple bands whose CDs I own and whose music I enjoy. I know, I know, people should spend their money on whatever they like. I'd just prefer a more honest response, like "I'm just not in the mood for Irish music" or "not really interested in seeing them again". More than adequate and easier to believe than "too much money".
I've celebrated St, Paddy's my way, so staying in tomorrow(with all the snow we have and that's to come), not a problem at all.

The man I eventually end up with will have to like/love Celtic music also b/c I don't want to have to go to things like this by myself forever. It's always more fun if you have someone to share it with.

just call me...fanatic...tennis

Got a great surprise today. A Rafael Nadal calendar. It's beautiful, he's beautiful and so manly. I love Nadal (I'm sure that comes as a shock ;). If his name means nothing to you, you must not follow men's pro tennis. If not, now's the time to start peeps :). Pacific Life Open aka Indian Wells tourney in CA. Worth a lot of points and all the top seeds compete. Federer:the man the legend - I feel like saying that everytime I say his name) is out, outed by a nobody, Canas. Well, not a complete nobody but he has been out of the game for nearly 2yrs. Federer has been no.1 for so long, can anyone even remember who held the crown before him. I can't. As it stands in world rankings, Federer's #1. Nadal's #2. Roddick's #3. i have to back my boy Nadal and I hope he has a great game. i will be watching tomorrow on espn2.
I added the Tennis channel to my cable lineup (it only cost me ~$2 more/mth). It's been great, being able to watch all the early rounds. plus they have several informational shorts about players and tennis in general. it's pretty cool.

He's set for a semifinal match-up with S's fav Roddick. We are both very excited. I have no idea who sent me this calendar. There was no card inside, no note. The outside envelope has the name of the company it came from only. I've narrowed it down to 1 or 2 people who know me and how much I love Rafa, who would send me a random pressie. I'm not all that fond of surprises usu but this was a great one.

in other news

I left work at 2:30 today b/c the snow was just starting to cover the roads. I was only the 2nd person to leave from my lab. They are all looking for the 'best employee' ever awards. Not me, I'm into something different. Like the "being able to get home safely b/c I left before the roads became too congested and even more slick and dangerous" award. I'd barely gone 3 miles, was waiting at the light that's just out of the industrial park where I work - I saw a co-worker's car do a 360° spin as she was trying to take the ramp on the right. I was at the light waiting to turn left. 5secs before she was there, I could see her car approaching in my rear-view mirror...I was thinking of reversing and turning right instead. So glad I didn't b/c she would have slammed into me. Luckily for her, me, and who knows who else...no one was in front of/directly behind her. Also the ramp is a full one next to the lane. So she avoided slamming into on-coming traffic and after a couple secs after her spin, she turned around and drove off.
When I left work, the parking lot was still full of cars. The snow is not supposed to get any better. I'm glad I left when I did b/c the roads weren't great but they would only get worse as the afternoon wore on. i stopped at the grocery for supplies on my way home and now i'm all cosy and don't have to worry about cars losing control and slamming into mine (my constant fear when I have to drive in snow).

hello world

My pc is finally fixed. No thanks to dell support. I had to do a second system wipe (this I suspect was my fault, sorta. I would actually like to blame the guys from PC World but I really only have myself to blame. Why? I suspect the recurring error loop that I couldn't get out of was due to a batch editor file I downloaded b/c I imagined myself a pc expert after reading a few PC World magazines - they claimed that zone alarm tended to create huge unnecessary files and that they had a fix for it. Well, it erased something essential for zone alarm anti virus to be able to run and this resulted in recurring errors. At first I tried to do a system restore to a previous data point. it wasn't far enough b/c after 5min, the same thing kept happening.After 2nd wipe/return to factory settings, followed by downloading/installing all 79 microsoft updates, reinstalling zone alarm anti virus, my system seems to finally be at peace again.

Of course my system no longer contains the 12GB of music I had on it - from CDs and iTunes. They are currently on my iPod. I emailed apple support to ask if they a way for me to connect them without deleting everything still on the iPod. They suggested that I change my automatic updater to manual updates. Well, I have to connect the iPod to see that screen. I don't move at superhuman speed so I don't think I can change to manual updates before it erases everything. I'm just going to have to try it and hope for the best.

high hopes

Just got off the phone with my family. After 2 days, I seem to be ok on the new Foradil medicine. My sis barely recognized my voice when I answered - I sound so much better than I have in weeks and it's only been a couple days. I have high hopes for this medicine.

software

Finally, I can check my yahoo mail again. Haven't been able to login for 3mths. Also haven't been able to join netflix or do anything cool I wanted to. Why? Mainly b/c of Mcafee. I've gotten rid of it(most of it, stick have some digging to do to remove all the pesky files that didn't uninstall when I told it to).

I've gotten zone alarm antivirus instead. Also downloaded anitspyware and antimalware apps. Borrowed pc magazines from the library and have learned a whole lot of what I can/should have installed if I don't have a whole security suite. I decided to pay for my antivirus/firewall and get the other stuff from freeware - mostly from c-net download.com and pcworld.

No more annoying alerts from mcafee asking me to allow every single cookie it encountered. You know that Mac ad where the pc and mac dudes are talking and the MIB guy is behind the pc guy saying "...cancel or allow" for everything? Just like that but not as funny. This is why yahoo stopped working. I tried to fix it. I went into all the settings (both in mcafee and firefox/IE 7) to allow all cookies, nothing worked.

My pc if mostly free of mcafee now. It took up so much space and resources. More than zonelabs plus the 4 other freeware apps I've installed. It's great!

Dinner & movie

I'm really due for a break, for things to start going well. I feel more positive now than I did at the start of this week. That's a good sign.
Went to dinner / movie last night with my usual group. This helped improve my outlook.

For dinner, I picked a grilled Ahi tuna sandwich with fries. It was delicious and it only cost $17 incl tip for my share. I had hot tea, no alcohol (this always ramps up the bill). The tuna was a little rarer than I would normally have it if I cooked it myself but was still good. The fries were thick-cut, crispy on the outside and fully cooked on the inside. Perfect. I also had tastes of everyone else's entres. All really good food at reasonable prices.

I hate it when we go out to eat and I realize I've spent $30 or more on mediocre food. So I went in tonight thinking about the cost and ordering to suit. The restaurant was empty except for us and 2 other tables. The food was so good, I don't know why it wasn't packed with patrons. The bread they brought out before out dinner was warmed in the oven first. Warmed bread is rarely done these days and always a real treat for me. Maybe it was the time - we got there after our movie around 9:30pm. They had live jazz which at first weirded me out. I got there first and a couple amateurs were "singing karaoke-style" I use this term very generously. By the time the others got there, they'd stopped thank God. The band was a little too loud. I prefer it to be background rather than so loud it feels like a concert.

We saw Zodiac which for some reason I've been calling 'vertigo' all week. Some kind of brain glitch...with the week I've had I guess it's excusable. It was a bit gory in parts but interesting all the way through. Wasn't bored and I think the ending was done well.

Hell week cont'd - health issues

Friday 9am
With all this stuff going on, I'm also really busy at work this week and have worked late days almost every day for the last 2 weeks. This is in spite of the fact that I feel like crap. I have felt worse. So I finally call my allergist's office to schedule an appt. I have to wait for the nurse to call me back so I can explain about the side-effects I had from the Advair and that I stopped taking it and went back on Flovent. So she gives me a 3pm appt. I had a reaction which I had to quench before leaving b/c it's one that goes bad if you leave it too long after it's completed. I don't realize all this until 2:30pm. By the time I take care of it, it's 2:50. I'm a little panicked b/c it usu takes 20min to get to my doc if there's no traffic. Luckily there wasn't much traffic and I got there at 3:05pm, not too bad.
Apparently, other people have been having problems with the new advair inhalers as well. Their problems seem to be due to some malfunction of their inhalers - it's delivering more than it should. I don't think that's my issue. I didn't notice anything unusual about it. I've been using inhalers for more than half my life, I'd notice. The inhalers need cleaning more frequently now since they changed to non-CFC propellants. I'm all for saving the environment but the new propellants "HFA" are crap imho and don't work as well as the good-ole CFCs. Pity they damage the environment so have to be phased out. I'm glad my albuterol inhalers don't have HFA propellant yet.

So I explain it all again to my doc and she agrees that I have a problem with the salmeterol in advair. So no more adavir for me. She asked about Singulair - no good either, had an allergic reaction last time I tried it. So no singulair either. She said I needed another medication in addition to the flovent b/c on it's own, it doesn't seem to be enough. What's left? Foradil-another long-acting bronchodilator(LAB). Now I know why they don't prescribe this first. It's a pain. For one, the capsules have to be refrigerated but not frozen.
Then it's a whole process to take it. I do a google search(b/c I must with all my Rx's) and the first link talk about people dying in a large clinical study from it. My hope is that I won't be as sensitive to it as I am to the other LABs I've taken like salmeterol.

Hell week...plumbing issues

This has been a really rough week. Even though I knew it had to start getting better at some point, I just couldn't see it. Now things seem to be on the rise. Maybe it was the lunar eclipse that caused it - the last 2 weeks have been really shitty so maybe not.

Sat 4th March
I call my landlord b/c my bath rm sink had some kind of water pressure problem, water was just trickling out. So he tells me he'll come with a plumber Mon night. some of the pipe connections were still iron pipes which tend to get clogged with gunk(his words).

Sun
He comes by and does something with it b/c when I get back from choir/errands, the water pressure seems normal i.e. I can actually wash my hands in less than 3min.
So I think, maybe I was mistaken and he came today to fix it. Wrong.

Monday 6:30pm
I get a call on my cell while I'm still at work telling me that he and the plumber have arrived and are going to take care of things...

8:00pm - I get home to find them both still in my bath rm "fixing". They don't leave until 10:30pm and there is a mysterious leak in the new elbow joint they've put in that they can't seem to fix. It's a small, slow leak so they put a bucket under it and tell me that maybe the joint will 'swell' in a couple days and it'll stop. The floor under the sink/toilet has been removed and the dank, smelly wood underneath exposed. it reeks in there. Plus they must've knocked the toilet roll off in water and put it back b/c it has gurbby marks on it and also that swollen, frilly look at one end that tissue/paper towls get if you drop one end in water. What kills me is that they put it back. it's a good thing I always put my glasses on before goin to the loo b/c I could have used (shudders to think) that on my person. How Gross is that? So I've left it there for them to futz around with and have opened a new roll which I hide in the closet before I leave.

11:30pm - banging on my back door (accessible only by my downstairs neighbor or landlord, it my downstairs neighbor telling me he has a flood in his kitchen and he thinks it's coming from me. I have no water on any of my floors so this seems uinlikely to me. He asks to come in and look for himself. I let him (b/c I just want to get to sleep). He looks and can't find the source, not in my bathrm...not under my kitchen sink. He tells me he thinks "they broke a pipe in the wall and that he's
"turned off the water". I'm exhausted and nothing he says really means anything to me - I just need to sleep.

Tuesday 6:30am
Time to get ready for work - then it dawns on me...no water. So I call my landlord and ask him what to do, I have to get ready for work. He tells me to go out the back and knock on my neighbor back door then ask him to turn it on so I can get ready. I do this - nothing, no response. So I have to put on my coat/socks/shoes and go out the front...into the 3°F morning cold to bang on their front door. Part of the conversation goes like this:
6:45
Me: Can you turn the water on for 10-15min I need to get ready for work
Surly Neighbor: NO, I won't. It's flooded in there and there's enough damage.
Me: I need to shower/brush my teeth/have to go to work, just give me 10min.
Surly Neighbor: Nope, not going to turn it on
Me: (desperate now)can you turn it on for 3min so I can fill a couple buckets at least?
Surly Neighbor: get your buckets ready

So I dash back upstairs and simultaneously fill a couple buckets with hot water from the shower, 2 containers in the kitchen sink and brush my teeth. Then the water was gone. I had enough to bathe but didn't have time to regulate the water so it was much hotter than I normally bathe with - near scalding but better than no water or cold water I guess.

7:30am Landlord calls me to tell me to leave my back door open for my Surly Neighbor, b/c he's going to put in a shut-off for the hot water. whatever, needed to leave soon for work So I left it unlocked.

8pm I get home and find them about to leave - they've done a temp fix: put in a shut off and I have cold water but no hot water b/c that's what's causing the leaking downstairs.

Wednesday 6:30am
I boil water for my bath which is ok b/c at least it's a nice temperature, not too hot or cold.

I received several calls during the day from my landlord telling me of their plans to go in and do a permanent fix...they had to replace the piping/elbow joints from my apt to the pipes leading downstairs.

Another call @ 6pm - He informs me that they noticed another leak - when he turned on the tap in the kitchen, it was leaking from it's drain onto the bath rm floor under the sink. He says, "if you don't mind, could you not use the kitchen sink at all, we're going to come back Thur and try to put a temporary fix in." If I don't mind? If I don't mind? Not like I have a real choice.

A couple friends at work who I told offered me use of their spare rooms for as long as I needed. So I decided to go home, get an overnight bag to stay at T's for the night. Her husband was away for the week on business so I didn't feel too bad about imposing.

7pm - I get home, they've just started working. So I get my stuff and go over to T's. We get pizza, watch Idol. I slept really well all things considered.

Thursday
Got up at 6:30am and was actually ready to go @7:10am. Walk out to my car, guess what's on my windshield? A parking ticket written at 2am! A $50 parking ticket. So I look around and there's no sign posted anywhere near me on my side of the street. There is one on the opposite side of the street that is completely obscured except for the number 9. That's the only thing on it not erased. I just take it in and drive to work. The closest sign is maybe 150ft away. NO where near the house where I was parked. So I'm going to protest this ticket. It wasn't posted close enough. As I drove off I finally saw a sign at the intersection of the street and the main road "no parking mon-fri 12am-9am. It says this on both sides of the street. On a dead-end street. T was pretty upset and even offered to go halfs on the ticket-she felt so bad. I refused of course-not really her fault. She said they'd lived there 3 yrs and have people visit and park on the street and have never known anyone to get a ticket before. She'd never even noticed the "no parking" signs.
My consolation is that 2 other cars parked there also had tickets. The last time I got a parking ticket for parking on the wrong side in front my building, none of the other cars around me had tickets. That pissed me off. It was posted every 3 or 4 houses so I couldn't really say I didn't see the signs even though I didn't until after the fact.

6pm I call my landlord and ask if I can use the sink, he says they need another day so no using the kitchen sink yet. Not great but doable, not like I planned to cook anything Thurs night. Had grilled bacon/tomato/cheese sandwiches. They were really good.

How Normal Am I?

You Are 40% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

I just had to know...this also made me laugh :)

How Irish Am I?

You're 55% Irish

You're very Irish, and most likely from Ireland. (And if you're not, you should be!)

How Irish Are You?

This result made me laugh. Well, I have been to Ireland and I even have an Irish last name(well it's actually Scottish but close enough) so maybe not so farfetched as it seems :)

blog personality

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

What exactly does "sensing" mean? What? Like an instrument? I like the idea of being unique though.

not so invisible

Just when I thought that I was practically invisible...my (relatively new) cubicle is next to 3 other women who work on same project and talk mostly to each other, sometimes over and around me. It kinda makes me feel left out. Invisible. They don't know me so I don't blame them for not really including me in their conversations - most of which I don't have much interest in since mostly it's about their house/kids/husband.
Anyhoo, remember my funny calendar, I put it up at work and when it was March 1st I was so busy, I forgot to change it from February. As I sat down for lunch, they said, aren't you going to change it, we've been dying to see what it says for March? So I changed it and they weren't disappointed b/c it was really funny:

You're just jealous...because the voices only talk to me...

One even took a pic on her phone and said she was sending it to all her friends to make them laugh. It makes me smile every time I see it so why not share the joy? They also said that they couldn't wait for the next month to come around.
Kinda nice not be invisible.

when will it stop

I'm off advair for good. I'm never taking it again. After being on it for 4 days, I had tremors in my hands for most of the next two days. The 4th day - muscle spasms and severe cramps in my hands and feet. I had a difficult time getting to sleep that night b/c my toes kept twisting and sticking in that cramped position for minutes at a time and I just couldn't find a position that they didn't hurt. After about an hr of this it subsided a bit. So I stopped taking it. Since I stopped taking it - no more muscle spasms or cramps. I'm convinced that the advair is the cause specifically the salmeterol component of it. I've gone back on flovent. Haven't been to my doc since. I've had a hectic week at work, then with the snow and ice, just haven't had time to deal with it. To try to convince them that no, I'm not crazy...yes, the medication is causing this...no, I'm not making up the side effects...they are printed on the info packet listed as rarely occurring....rarely does not mean impossible. I also don't want them to put me on prednisone. I really do think I need antibiotics now. It seems like I've had this cold (infection?) for a month now. I don't think the asthma drugs are enough to take care of it. Only thing left now is for me to convince them of this.

I've started having nosebleeds again, not big ones yet. Usually when I try to blow my nose, blood clots come out. To take the allergy meds (rhinocort) I'm supposed to blow my nose first,then spray in each nostril. Haven't been able to take it all week b/c every time I blow...blood. My nasal passages are just really irritated so I have to give them a break.

I finally called my landlord about the unshoveled state of the sidewalk. He came over today and took care of it. He said that he's paid a couple kids who live on the street to do it but they've not touched it. Neither has the lazy man who lives next door in my building. My landlord also said he wished I'd told him sooner b/c I shouldn't have had to do it myself. Apparently I'm the only one who noticed and who can't a)walk on ice, or b)through 6 or more inches of packed snow or c) has a phone.
Whatever, dude.
I almost fell about 5 times trying to get to my car this morning. Last night I sanded our walkway and a bit of the driveway next door so I could get out to the street/my car. This morning, I went out to find that my moronic neighbor parked their stupid SUV right in front of the walkway. So I had no place to pass. All where I sanded...useless to me with their stupid car in the way. On the other side, ice sheets. I ended up squeezing past their stupid car and inching then jumping over the ice sheets on their unsanded/salted part of the sidewalk.

I'm officially tired of winter now.

I had to get my yearly inspection done before the end of Feb. I got a recommendation for a garage and went there on Mon evening ~520pm. My original appt was for 5pm but there was a lot of traffic and I didn't get out of work as early as I thought I would. Anyway, they didn't fuss. My inspection cost $269. Why? I needed new front tires. Apparently they were too 'bald' to pass inspection. The mechanic told me "I don't know how you use these tires last week in the snow, I don't know" Even his wife who handled my invoice said "I have never seen such bald tires." So I got new tires. Luckily I had my card and money in my account. She then said " now you can be safe out there". They're a cute middle-aged Russian couple. He told me "I could put these tires or these ones - the first are like sneakers and the others are like boots...I think you need the boots" I said "give me the boots then"
Yeah - obviously I need heavy duty tires if I could drive them down so low without noticing. They're all season and I did notice a difference in the feel of my car since I got them. At least there good now and I will pay attention to them more than I did before(meaning, I will actually look at them from time to time :)
Made to the gym once this week. Have not been feeling great and have also been a lazy bum. Got to get back on track though.

I brought this poinsettia plant home -they used a lot of them to decorate the church I go to and the Sunday before Ash Wed, they told us to take as many home as we liked b/c they had to move all the decorations for the Lenten season. So I brought one home. It's pretty. Since then I've noticed black flies randomly flying around. I kept wondering where the hell they were coming from. I also noticed a weird moldy smell whenever I sat at he computer. Today I found out that the smell, flies and poinsettia...all connected. Ack! I took a closer look and found maybe 6-7 flies flying around in the pot and there was also mold growing on the top of the soil where the dead leaves had fallen. So I bundled it all up in a trash bag and put it outside my back door. No trash pickup till Tues so I'll get rid of it then. I was very grossed out by this.

I feel like crap - back on advair again. Sadly. my doc thinks I need it. I don't know. I think I'm coming down with another cold. Like for the 3rd or 4th time for the year and it's not even March yet. The advair is in inhaler form now so hopefully I won't get as many of the side effects as I had before. My head hurts like there are jackhammers going off behind my eyes. My nose has been bleeding off and on today and my nose is clogged with blood. I can't blow it else it'll start bleeding actively again.When I saw my doc Wed, I didn't feel as bad as I do tonight. Sounded a bit congested though, partly why she changed me to the advair. She said she wanted me back on lower dose of flovent which is what's in the advair in addition to the long-acting bronchodilator serevent. The things I've read about serevent scares me. I try not to think about it too much though.
It's better than being on prednisone/which she told me was another possible alternative - oral steroids lead to much more exaggerated side effects than inhaled steroids.
I really have to just stop reading about it. And just take it and hope that I feel better soon. The tremors have started already and it's only been a couple days. Had to do several TLCs today and my hands kept shaking every so often.
I tylenol I took is finally starting to kick in - jackhammers have toned down to chopsticks drumming behind my eyes.
Whenever I go to the allergist's office, they take my vitals incl my weight and height - every time. I was wondering why they take my height, I'm way past the age of growing. So I asked and the nurse told me that many asthmatics eventually end up on prednisone long-term and it causes you to lose bone density and people start shrinking so they take your height so they have an ongoing monitor of it. How about that to look forward to? Hopefully I can manage without reaching that stage

I'm going to bed.

snow has finally stopped...fri at last

It seems like with every week that goes by, I keep looking for Fri. This is not normally the case. I usu can wait but recently, things have not been great, it's been really sucky sometimes and I can only wait for Fri. It's all I can do.
I've been feeling down and out most of the week, had a really bad night Mon, cried and cried and cried. For no specific thing...just everything seemed wrong and I just couldn't seem to shake it or stop. All I've been listening to lately is angry or sad music. Usually, my playlist is mixed and has some upbeat mixed in with the sad. The angry is usu good if I'm in a bad mood or while working out.

My playlist lately looked something like this:

The Carpenters "goodbye to love" and "i won't last a day without you" and of course "rainy days and mondays"
Three Days Grace "just like you" and "scared" and "home"
Avril Lavigne "slipped away"
The Cranberries "daffodil lament"
Don Henley "the heart of the matter"
Hootie & the Blowfish "goodbye"
Joni Mitchell "both sides now"-version from love actually soundtrack
"cora" from Last of the Mohican's soundtrack
Air Supply "here i am" and "i can wait forever"
Bryan Adams "do i have to say the words"
Backstreet Boys "safest place to hide"
Toni Braxton "i don't want to"
Smile Empty Soul "who i am"

many celtic songs including
...the lakes of Pontchartrain / benedy glen - Deanta
the curragh of kildare / john of dreams - Cherish the Ladies
sunlight on the water - Phil Coulter
the bantry girl's lament - Reeltime
darkness, darkness - Solas
skye boat song/mist covered mountains - Culture Ceildh Band

Tonight was the first night I've felt like something more upbeat. I felt really weird this week.

Something good today - my new group leader called me into her office today for a minute. I shipped out 4 compounds since I've been on the project, compounds they've been waiting on to test further b/c the initial results from them were promising. She wanted to congratulate me on getting them shipped. I was very pleased. Maybe I will have a chance to prove that I'm worth more than the things those bastards put in my evaluation. I'm not going to think of that now.

My back and shoulder and calves hurt like hell this week - with all the shoveling I did Wed (5 times) and Thurs morning again.

Wed night around 11pm, I started panicking b/c my car was stuck/parked on the wrong side of the street with our snow emergency in effect. I was suddenly afraid that I'd be towed. Especially since I was watching the local news and heard people talk of being towed. Luckily one of my neighbors was outside shoveling his walkway. He offered to help me dig my car out. it took us about 30min and we had to keep stopping every time there was a really strong wind gust. The kind that literally takes some breath away. He even helped me by pushing and giving me direction-go forward/reverse/turn right/reverse/etc - so that I could get onto the "road". Said "road" had about 4-5inches of snow/slush on it. My girl(that's my car :), she didn't like it at all. She grunted and spun her wheels.

After driving a couple blocks, still no parking in sight on the right side - my girl got stuck. Wouldn't move forward or back. I saw a couple college kids crossing in front of me - intent on sledding I think - if the sleds in their hands were anything to go by. They offered and tried pushing but still my girl just wouldn't go and I could smell rubber - not a good sign. Finally one of the girls tapped on my window - she told me that she could get it to move for me. I was so fed up by this time that I just got out and stood by while she got in the driver's seat. By that point I just didn't care. She got in and moved it in a flash. Unfortunately, she turned in the opposite direction of where I'd intended to go. She didn't realize that I wanted to go the other way. No matter, I said, and thanked them and her and just drove down that hill into a spot. Well it was almost a spot, much closer to the middle of the road than the side of the road but I didn't care at all by then. I then had to hike back the 4 blocks to my apt. Through the unplowed streets and sidewalks. I ran for some of the way b/c the wind was really fierce in addition to the below zero wind chill.

Thursday morning I had to walk the 4 blocks to my car with my handbag, lunch bag and shovel and snow brush just in case I needed them. So glad I left my shovel in my apt b/c I had to shovel my walkway to get out to the street. Also glad I took the shovel with me to my car b/c there was a good bit of snow stuck in front of the undercarriage and front wheels. Took me about 10min to get it dug out so not too bad. Then I prayed she would just go and she did. I almost got into an accident. Some silly old man opened his car door out wide just as I was going past his car. I started to swerve to avoid hitting the stupid man's door and my car started skidding. Luckily there weren't any other cars on the other side of the road else I would have been screwed.

still more snow

My unshoveled walkway


Shoveled walkway - sorta. I was able to see the ground briefly but it soon became snow-covered again

Never really shoveled a walkway before today - never had to. My landlord doesn't live on the premises so I'm not sure what he has organized to take care of that. I took some more pics and shoveled againup to the sidewalk in front my walkway. By the time I got to the sidewalk, my steps and walkway were covered in snow again. I did want to make a dent in it though b/c I'd like to be able to get to my car eventually.


Why is this crazy person out in this snow?...walking?...maybe getting food?...crazy!

snow pictures

The dips in snow around my car are the places I shoveled to try to clear it.


car close up


my steps/walkway 20min after I shoveled it


outside my front stoop - see how high the snow is in relation to the truck/SUV, my corolla has no chance - now I understand why people want SUV/trucks


my snow covered street

The garbage truck was coming up my street just as I was shoveling my walkway and one of the guys asked me if I would come over and shovel his walkway after I was done. Not a chance buddy! I took most of these pics from my front porch and my camera still got a little wet b/c the wind keeps blowing the snow everywhere. The snow keeps coming down and is expected to keep coming until 6am tomorrow.

the snow is here to stay

Stayed home today - already 6-7" snow out there but that's not why. I removed the snow from my car and even tried to shovel some of it from around my car but after beign out there for 20min my fingers were too numb to function and my car still wouldn't budge. There was about a foot piled up behind my car and about half a foot in front of it. I just called in and told them I was taking the day off. I went back ot there for another 20min and shovel my walkway and around my car. I was able to move it finally. I wanted to get it mostly clear b/c with the snow emergency in effect, I have to move my car to the other side of the street by 8pm tonight. Can't move it to the other side now b/c there's too much snow pileup on that side of the road. I hope the plows come through and clear the snow else I don't know where I can move my car to. At it's moving now though :).
I need some serious winter gloves b/c the wind chill is -8°F out there and that's no joke. My fingers felt like they had frostbite. I could barely get my gloves off the first I went out there this morning. I'm having a leisurely breakfast now. I'm going back out in a bit, maybe take some pictures.
It's still snowing and they expect it to get more intense for the rest of the day. Yay?

snow snow snow

I'm excited for the snow storm that's coming. I'm also kinda dreading it b/c I will be expected at work regardless. The only way they cancel work is if the power goes out...a rarity.

I'm going to bed soon b/c I need to be up early to shovel out my car if necessary. Also need to get an early start to avoid the crazies on the road who drive like condition are perfect regardless of how much slush/ice is on the road.

I skipped the gym tonight, it was just too cold (currently it's 9°F, wind chill 0°F). I wanted to get home early to get a decent parking spot.

Instead of boxing class at the gym, I did 20min of this kickboxing video I bought a while ago. When I first tried it, it seemed impossible and I couldn't keep up/follow her moves. But tonight I was able to keep up with most of it. I'm very sore now though - she did this drop down push-up thing that looked impossible at first. I tried it and found it was possible - my hip really aches now though so I don't know how great an idea it was to try it. I feel really good about being able to do it - finally! Plus I'm glad I didn't totally wig out on my exercise for the night.
Even made it to yoga on Mon - lots of aches/pain during. I think I've been away from it for so long that I've lost most of the flexibility I gained from it.
Time for bed.

I love mozilla firefox. Why? Cooliris for one thing - I love being able to see tons of other pages real quick just by gliding the mouse over the link. I also love the remembering passwords feature.
Took a little while to get used to the whole-tabbed browsing thing but now it's great. I can open all the blogs I read with one click. How cool is that?

Compulsive breakers - these are the drivers who break for no reason at all...there's no car in front of them, there's no stop sign...yet they break every few seconds like they have some kind of tic or something. What is wrong with them? I saw one tonight who kept breaking for no reason every few seconds, then he sailed right through the stop sign. This is beyond my understanding.

Books 2007

Not all the books I've read this year but only the ones I really enjoyed...

1. It's Not You, It's Me...Alison Rushby

2. I Hunger For You...Susan Sizemore

3. I Thirst For You...Susan Sizemore

4. Master of Darkness...Susan Sizemore (best one from Sizemore)

5. You Don't Know Jack...Erin McCarthy

6. A Taste of Darkness...Nina Bangs

7. I'm In No Mood For Love...Rachel Gibson

8. Scarlett...Cathy Cassidy

9. Atlas of the 20th Century History...Richard Overy

10. Salaam, Paris...Kavita Daswani

11. Indigo Blue...Cathy Cassidy

12. Just For Kicks...Susan Andersen

13. In Plain Sight...Tara Taylor Quinn

14. Abstract Painting, Concepts and Techniques...Vicky Perry

15. Dizzy...Cathy Cassidy

16. My Pet Virus...Shawn Decker

17. Hello Gorgeous...Mary Janice Davidson

18. Paths to the absolute: Mondrain et al...John Golding

19. Rogue's Salute...Jennifer Blake

20. Causing Havoc...Lori Foster

21. The Kept Woman...Susan Donovan

22. I Burn For You...Susan Sizemore

23. Somebody's Hero...Marilyn Pappano

24. Cold As Ice...Anne Stuart

25. Icing On The Cake...Laura Castoro

26. Extreme Bachelor...Julia London

27. The Perils of Persuing a Prince...Julie London

28. Sleepless in Savannah...Rita Herron

29. Natural Born Charmer...Susan Elizabeth Phillips

30. For a Few Demons More...Kim Harrison

31.Real Women Don't Wear a Size 2...Kelley St. John

32. Pushing 30...Whitney Gaskell

33. Desire After Dark...Amanda Ashley

34. Virgin River...Robyn Carr

35. Shelter Mountain...Robyn Carr

36. Blameless...Thom Lemmons (reading)

37. Whispering Rock...Robyn Carr

38. Never Too Late...Robyn Carr

39. Wicked Fantasy...Nina Bangs

40. Smitten...Janet Evanovich

41. Simon Says...Lori Foster

42. The Way Life Should Be...Christina Baker Cline

43. Steps Through The Mist...Zovan Zivkovic

salsa, the perfect snack

Salsa is the perfect snack. It goes well with so many different chips and fruit. I've been adding fruit to my fav brand of salsa and I haven't been sorry yet. It makes it even more delicious. Tonight I had avocado salsa. This salsa is chunky and tastes really fresh - it has to be refrigerated - it calls itself "premium fresh salsa" and that is no lie. I always get the 'medium'. Mild is too bland and Hot is a bit much for me. Medium's got just enough of a kick. I've added mango - both ripe and half-ripe - both really good. Papaya's my favorite but it has to be almost ripe (fun fact, trinis say pah-paw not papaya :). I don't care for half-ripe/green papaya though I do enjoy green/half-ripe mango.

this week

This post is not entirely coherent, but I've decided not to fix all the errors like I normally would - getting it all out was cathartic so I'm just going to leave it at that.


I nearly had a fit just now - freaking spammers. I check my spam box regularly to make sure real email doesn't get lost/deleted if mistakenly sent there. I really need to just delete stuff I don't recognize instead of opening. Occasionally I have found legitimate email in there but most of the time it's spam. Tonight I saw an email supposedly from mcafee. So I click on it and it says that they've just billed my $78 for my renewal. I started to panic - thinking that I don't have that money right now and I hope it doesn't come out of an a/c I closed. Then I got a little mad thinking that they would just automatically renew without my direct say-so. I never authorized them to renew automatically so I was pissed that they'd try. So then I frantically call their phone help line - closed for the day until 6am tomorrow. Now I'm really panicky. Then I think that Maybe I should log into my account and check to see when my actual renewal date is. So luckily I don't click any of the links in the email (at least I'm smart enough no to do that). I go to my account and find that my renewal is not due until 2nd week in March. So now I'm certain it was sent for some nefarious purpose. I look at the email again (much calmer now) and notice that they have a date, my full name and an amt paid but no card numbers. They always have the last 4 digits of your card number. Huge sigh of relief.
Life lesson here: do not open spam! do not open suspect email! do not believe suspect email is real!

This week has been long but I've managed to get through most of it. The exercise is the only thing keeping me sane. The more I exercise the better I feel. Boy did I need the extra endorphin boost this week.

Mon - yearly evaluation...in a word...demoralizing. I don't want to talk about it. I only spoke to one friend about some of the details and I just want to forget about it now. It just left me feeling depressed and I realized that I will never get promoted. I thought my last boss was the best one I've had so far but he let/allowed our group leader to add some things that were mostly true but there were extenuating circumstances that he omitted. The result is that I can't deny what's written but to has a great year of work on just that without explaining anything...I just look incompetent...after 4 1/2 yrs of being there. My only consolation if that they haven't fired/issued warning/put me on probation. So maybe the upper managers will look at all the other evaluations I've had and realize that there must be some sort of discrepancy b/c surely such things would have been noted before if they were absolutely true. So with all those thoughts in my head, I had to go to the gym. I felt it would be the only thing that would help me take my mind off it. And it did help. I did weights then 45min cardio. This was a little too much at once I think b/c I hurt by the time I was done. But it at least it was body soreness and not heart-soreness.

Tues - boxing. That girl who really irritated me last week, still a weirdo but I'm less annoyed by her this week. Progress?

Wed - no gym, had Chinese takeout for dinner, my first of the year.

Tonight - weights then boxing. I feel really energized now.

My new project is going well. I'm getting my 1st product shipped out and I have 3 more that will go out soon. I have to take more of an initiative with this project/my new supervisor. It's new for me b/c I used to supervisor wanting to more or less dictate my day. This way I have to make more decisions on my own...not a bad thing. I felt really isolated when i first moved to my current lab but now I'm feeling more at home.

I've decided to make a commitment to exercising 4-5 days a week. I don't have a weight goal in mind per se. I would of course like to get rid of my love handles/backfat. I also want to reduce my BMI by 4 or 5 points. How likely is this? I'm not sure. I was talking to one of the ladies in boxing class and I told her "I work out so that I can eat what I want". This is basically true. I do try to stop eating before I realize I'm full. I eat when I'm hungry which works out to be ~5 times a day. This works when I do it. I usu forget to eat something around 4pm b/c I'm usu in the middle of stuff in the lab. tonight it was 5pm before I realized that I hadn't eaten. Not good since tonight was gym night. So I stopped and had bag of pretzels - the only low fat/low calorie food in our vending machine. I don't like to eat too close to my workout b/c I end feeling really ill once I start moving around. It was too bad but I did feel a little sick during my weights routine. I was fine by 7pm/boxing class so that was the main thing.

Tonight during my weight routine I saw my friend P. Well he's not really my friend exactly, he's a guy at the gym who works out usu on the same days I do. He and I often have a quick chat, sometimes I go over to the machine he's on and chat or he comes over to mine. He's a cute guy. I think he's gay though i'm not certain. Well as of tonight I'm not certain. He spoke to me more than usu and even let me listen to the tunes he was working out to. We also had kind of a flirty converstion.
Anyhoo, my friend G from boxing asked - so...who's the guy?
Me - what guy? oh that guy, he's just a guy I talk to here
G - hmmm, just a guy, I saw you two tonight and he seemed like more than just a guy
me - really? hmmm. maybe I should ask him out for drinks sometime?
G - definitely, he's very cute, you're both young, why shouldn't you?

Yeah well, I don't know. I could suggest it and if he is gay, then maybe I have a new friend and if he's not...who knows, maybe more. I've actually thought about asking him to hang out before b/c he seems like a really cool and interesting guy. And he's funny. I gleaned all this from our 5min conversations during our workouts. We don't always chat, mostly we just wave and smile. He's got these in his ears and quite frankly, they scare me a little. My ears aren't even pierced ordinarily so I cannot really understand why anyone would want such huge holes in their ears. I try not to look at them. To each his own I guess.

friday at last

The Nightguard stayed in my mouth all night and was much more comfortable (well as comfortable as having a piece of plastic in your mouth can be) than the one I'd used befor - it would fall out several times during the night or become dislodged and wake me up.

We had flurries tonight. SO much that I had to brush the slush off my car. Left work later than I wanted to and by that time it was really coming down. I was supposed to go over to C&Ts for dinner and Wii gaming but was thinking of bailing on the drive home b/c it was not very pleasant outside. Then I couldn't figure out what to have for dinner. Or what to watch on tv or if I should get a movie. So I went home, took my night meds and went over. They live 5 min from me, 2 by car when the conditions are perfect so I figured it shouldn't be too bad coming back home. I'm glad I went b/c I had a nutritious dinner-avocado salad with grilled steak topped with freshly made lemon-mustard dressing. It was delicious. T's on Atkins for a while. Then I played on the Wii with C for 3hrs. My arms are sore. First I made an avatar and that was very fun. then we played boxing, bowling, tennis and baseball. The boxing was fun and I knocked him out several times and won :) I didn't like the tennis very much, it was too confusing since you have to play doubles and it was actually true to life - in real tennis, I can serve no problem, I just can't volley. The baseball wa fun but only when it was my turn to pitch. I couldn't hit anything. the best was the bowling - highest score ever. I even beat C once. At midnight we decided to call it a night.

It's finally stopped snowing out and the neighborhood's very pretty. I love it when it midnight and the sky is so cloudy that it seems light outside. You can really see all the houses clearly. They're all snow-covered and there's a dusting all over the trees and ground. Wish I had my camera with me b/c I'd have pulled over and gotten some shots. My windows don't look out at anything cool anymore. All I can see are the windows of the houses on either side. I miss the great views I had from my old apt.

I am, of course, still too wired for sleep so I figured I might as well read some blogs. Going to bed soon b/c have much to do Sat. Hair appt at 11am then oil change/new wipers for my car. Then have to get a few groceries for party later - wine & cheese thing, should be fun. I'm hoping I can bum a ride there with E. Have to call tomorrow and ask but I'm pretty sure she won't mind. that way if I want to drink/taste more I can safely do so and just sleepover.

mixed bag

Long day. I miss my old group. I'm not part of it anymore and I know this b/c when I go visit, the jokes are often on me instead of about others for us all to enjoy :(
My new group is ok. I'm friends with one of the girls and she's cool. The other's are ok but they are still...the others. I don't feel comfortable with them. At least not comfortable enough to joke around in the same way I was able to in my old lab.
Also, I've been working 1-2hrs more a day on average than I did in my old group. Even though I've also been getting to work 20-30min earlier than I used to. It's 5pm and they are all there chit-chatting, as if it were 2pm. Bizarre, no?

My stuff is ready for me to prep to ship-1st compound out, Yay! I have a couple others that should also be ready soon. Good news. I've decided that I need to give my new supervisor as little info as possible, ask him as few questions as possible. this can work b/c he's in the adjoining lab and they are others in my lab who are working/have worked on similar targets. So at least I can go to them for some advice. He does not know how to give general advice. He keeps focusing on shit that I know or have figured out already...4 years ago. So my new plan of action is: just do/don't ask unless absolutely necessary.
I used to have this saying that I said for the general amusement of my friends whenever they asked me about my job:

Drones don't think. Drones don't ask. Drones just do. I'm a happy drone.

So now I'm going to just be a happy drone.

Went to gym tonight after much deliberation with myself...went to the library, wandered around in there for a while. forgot my watch so couldn't keep track of the time. Left and went out to the car. still had more than enough time to get to the gym for class, so I figured I might as well go. I was really worn out after it all. I'm a bit sore now. That's what I get for being a lazy bum and not going to the gym for 2 weeks. My treat for making it to the gym...probably negated all the work I did tonight...buffalo chicken kickers/garlic bread from Domino's. I love Dominos.

What I really wanted tonight was Mallowmars but I didn't realize this until I was 2min from my apt so that's when I thought of Dominos instead.

At the dentist office: i love my dental hygienist. She very pleasant and always compliments me on my regular flossing. My dentist did some filing/polishing on my teeth to help improve "my bite" which he thinks was most likely causing some of the sensitivity I was having. Main reason though - I'm probably grinding my teeth at night b/c of all the recent stress. So he suggested I get Nightguard and see if that helps. I do have a history of teeth-grinding that I only know of b/c when I was visiting my sis, she said it woke her up...she insisted I wear the Nightguard thing. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've had to use. I hated it.

A fitted nightguard from the dentist cost ~$300. Way out of my budget and my insurance doesn't cover it so I got one from CVS tonight. It's a different brand or at least looks different and seems like it'll be more comfortable as it can be molded to my teeth. Still looks weird though, not that I have to worry about anyone looking at me-who knew living alone could be a blessing.

chocolate

Right now, I could really go for a ritter sport. It's dark chocolate with whole hazelnuts...German chocolate...yum-my! It's my favorite of the moment. It's 210 calories per serving and it contains 4 servings. I'm usu able to control my self and stick to 1 but no more than 1 1/2 servings at a time. Well after I read what the serving size was/amt of calories :)
For you chocolate lovers out there looking for something new - check out the Ritter Sport site.

No chocolate for me for a while. Or nuts for that matter. Both tend to aggravate my asthma especially when it's out of control. Saw my doc yesterday and she incr my dosage of flovent(my controller medication that I take twice/day to keep my asthma in check). So I'm going to see if that helps knock out whatever it is that's caused me to wheeze/need my emergency inhaler(albuterol) almost every day for the past 12 days. Sadly, no antibiotics as I'd hoped. I can understand why...I've not been bringing up anything and when my nose runs, it's clear...no antibiotics for me :(. I always feel like they would be great to get but my docs are never free with prescribing them to me. Maybe I feel that way b/c the few times I've taken them, I went from feeling like crap to feeling great within a couple days. She thinks it's fine for me to go workout as long as I take my albuterol before. I haven't felt like going to the gym at all. That's not a new feeling, I feel like that all the time but have still managed to go anyway. No more excuses though. Definitely hitting the gym tomorrow. Don't know if I'm up for boxing class though but I might as well get back into the swing of things. My muscles have lost most of the definition they had before my holiday in Dec. I want that back.

Have my 6mth dental cleaning tomorrow. Lately my teeth have been really sensitive. At first it was just the 2 adjoining teeth that my dentist filled about 6mths ago. They never really lost their sensitivity. this is why I can't enjoy many things I used to like to munch on - no hard pretzels, tostitos are almost bearable if I eat only on one side, potato chips. Tonight was really bad, they were really achy all through my dinner - I call it the anti-gym dinner i.e. Popeye's spicy chicken with Cajun fries. Don't even want to think about the calories there. I barely enjoyed it, my teeth were weirded out the whole time, no matter what side I tried to chew on. I've tried sensitive toothpaste and it seemed to help for a while but tonight's the worst it's been-almost too sensitive for me to brush...the horror! I hope the dentist has something useful to give me to fix this.

These are the funniest things I've heard - these talking-ring-tones. if you are only going to listen to one then you must check out Snoop's.
Don't know if I'd actually want one of these on my phone but still funny all the same.

Went to see Catch & Release today. I loved it, sad but really cool movie. It was less cutesy/cliched than I expected it to be. Worth seeing.

is it friday yet?

It's been a rough week. Sun night I felt like I was coming down with something dire - took some cold medicine. Woke up in the middle of wee hours coughing/wheezing - not good at all. So I took my inhaler and tried to get back to sleep. Oh did I sleep...until 9:30am...Monday! Woke up groggily, my mind in a fog, wheezing again and coughing. Took more medicine, called in sick and spent most of the day in bed.
Went in to work the rest of the week. Still have residual cold crap going on in my lungs. Been on my inhaler all week 3-4x/day. Only needed it once today but probably need to take it before I go to bed (so I don't wake up at 2am wheezing). My hands are not quite shaking yet but they feel weird - pre-shaky...side effects from my albuterol inhaler.

Plus in addition to feeling under the weather all week, my new supervisor has been a pain in my side all week. Today was the worst though and several times times I came close to telling him to "leave me the eff alone" or "for feck's sake, give me a break" or "must you be up under my arse all the time". Normally I would not even be close to saying such things to my supervisor. I wanted to ask him to back off, let me do my job and when I had results I would let him know. I did this reaction and it was quite slow - I was actually repeating one I did before that still wasn't complete after 4days. yet he expected to see it done after 1 day. So he kept asking me - literally every 5min - to check it using different systems. It was not freaking finished, no matter how many times I checked it, I had done it before. He kept questioning me about the spot on my TLC that was my product - I knew which one it is b/c he's made me repeat similar reactions to make the same product 6 times. I know where the damn thing is by now. He was not convinced. Then I ran a purification on some other material I had and was trying to find a system that would let me differentiate between the product I wanted and the by-product I didn't want. This sometimes takes time. SO I was trying different methods and did find one that worked well enough for me to identify my stuff. This man was acting like I'd never purified/identified/isolated a product before.

I have only been working there 4 1/2 years. I have only shipped 30-50 compounds a year - all pure. Purified by me. Isolated by me. Analyzed by me. Somehow I managed to do that without having him up under my arse. NOW it seems that I must be too incompetent to accomplish it now. I just got really quiet. I spoke to F and she said I should probably talk to his supervisor about him. I didn't want to do that b/c I know I need to address it with him first before I think of doing that. I was at my wits end today and had to tell someone - normally I would keep all this to myself.

He must have picked up on my anger...either that or he heard me complaining to F or someone else heard me and told him or it may have been my fervent prayers that I could keep my mouth shut and not say all the things going through my head to him directly. Whatever it was, after pestering me all day....from 3pm till I left he was suddenly not around - even when I was looking for him to give him an update when I finally had results. He seemed to almost be avoiding me. Doesn't matter what it was, I'm just glad I got through today without losing it completely.

Skipped the gym all week - that must be part of the reason why he got to me all this week and today especially...not being able to vent in boxing class...no endorphin- high from the exercise. I've been wheezing/coughing too much this week. I didn't want to chance it getting worse than it is. Hopefully, this crap will be out of my system soon and life can get back to normal.
Bed for me now, really tired.

turtle turtle turtle

I got a book on turtles from the library. I think I still want one. I was talking to C&T about how I want one but was waiting until
a)I'm sure I can actually touch them
b)learn how to set up tank/what food to feed/etc and
c)I can afford to get all the stuff - tank/heater/filter/UV lamp
Well, they have a whole set up they don't use anymore - aquarium/heater/filter that they are looking to give away and they said I could have them if I wanted it.

Maybe it's not such a great idea - I can use gloves to change their poopy water so that'll help. Plus you're not supposed to handle turtles more than necessary so I think it'll be ok.
My mission this week: to go to an actual pet store and see if I can touch the things.
Plus I need to decide where I'm going to get them from. The guy at work who offered me one of his turtles-which I would rename Houdini b/c he routinely escapes from his tank and goes walkabout. They usu find him days later in a corner of the house. I think I want my first real pet to be less troublesome than that.

prom aka company party

Went to my work holiday party last night. I carpooled with C&T, it was easy b/c they only live a couple minutes from me so I drove over to their house and we left from their. This was great b/c I was certain I was going to get lost on my way there - I always do whenever I have to go to that town. My own personal Bermuda triangle.

It was so freaking cold last night - not the best night to be in a skirt. The shoes I meant to wear work great without tights but were not easy to walk in without, especially with snow/ice on the ground. So I had to use the second pair I bought which worked just as well and looked great with tights. I was still cold though. By the end of the night my feet were killing me but they stilled looked cute though :)

If you want pics, email me and I'll send them. Don't want to post them.

It was a fun night. The DJ played quite a mix. Not that I danced though. I never dance at these things - I like to keep social life separate from work life so no dancing in front of managers and other section heads.

We got pictures taken by magnet-man. They hire a professional photographer who takes as many pics as you want, groups/singles/couples/etc and he puts them on magnets. They make copies for every person in each picture. Kinda cool and totally free. The food was good. I have 5 such magnets. The food - pasta, roast beef(skipped those), international table with mostly fried foods like samosas, fish cakes, veggie rolls; also stuffed grape leaves. I ate all the fried thingies twice and also had several grape leaves things. Maybe too much b/c my stomach made much noise last night and this morning. At least it wasn't bad enough that it made me ill though so that was a relief. There was also desserts upstairs which I'd have saved more room for if I'd thought of it before I got my 3rd plate of fried things.
I still managed to scarf down 3 mini cheesecakes, 1 mini tiramisu (which I don't even like much) and 1 mini pumpkin pie. Also had a glass of wine and 1 cosmopolitan. After that I figured I'd had enough and called it quits.
They also had a mini casino set up with roulette wheel, blackjack and poker tables. Everyone got a chit worth 50 chips. We didn't feel like playing (were really too busy eating :) so we just entered our chits into the raffle. The prizes - wind breaker with company logo or food basket - can take or leave them.

All in all a good night. A friend a work decided to through a party at the same time as the company party. Why? I suspect she didn't really want some of us to come to her party. Whatever. She and a couple other people who were bailing on the company party suggested that we could stop by before or after the company party. I don't think so. Plus at her party would be 3 couples and no new single guys for me to meet. Same old people that I could hang out with any other night. Plus they live in the opposite direction and not at all close to me. And I had new dress and shoes. No real contest.

dating...not really

Recently, decided to create profile on one of the online dating sites. I've done the internet dating thing before without much success but creating a profile was the only way the stupid site would let me continue scanning other profiles for free.
I've gotten more hits(profile views/ice breakers/emails) in the last week since I created the profile than I did when I was on the site before for 6mths - go figure.
Maybe it's partly because I wrote the profile in 5min and it's kinda snarky. When I was on the site before, I took a long time to write my profile and it didn't make a damn worth of difference b/c they never read them.

No really good prospects though. Many pics/profiles I've seen before a year ago when I last did this. The ones with interesting profiles who have contacted me have no photo attached. No good - my pic is there, I think I deserve to see theirs before I decide to contact them or not. The other ones are horrible. Their profile is written in all caps - most annoying, if you don't know that means shouting online then why should I be wasting my time. Or their profile has obviously been written by someone who may/may not have finished high school. I'm an elitist when it comes to this, not that it's right to be so snobbish but I can't help it. Especially when they have a spell-checker program linked to the profile now. They have no excuse for having a profile like the one below - sent to me by a guy who says he'd like to know more about me...that's nice but I don't think so.

"Iam respondsable,but laid back,romantic,fun loving,honest&kind of shy sometimes.I love the outdoors,pets,movies,dinner,sports&music.Ifeel good helping people less fortunate than me.Iam an all around nice guy. Iam looking for someone who would enjoy what i do&may offer more to enrich our lives for the better.Someone thats honest,fun to be with&down to earth.Someone thats looking for a relationship.NO GAMES R PLAYERS"

I copied and pasted it as is. Bad spelling, no spaces in logical places. No surprise that he has "finished high school" as highest education. Do these guys not even look at the part of my profile that says I'm looking for someone who's at least a college grad. Obviously, they don't read anything. Then there are all the guys who live with their parents (at 39). Yeah and I mustn't forget to mention all the 39-45 yr old when it clearly says that I don't want anyone over 36. They must think that's a rough number. I don't want a smoker nor someone that doesn't mind dating a smoker. A true non-smoker will only want another non-smoker imho.

more AI

Ok so Meesha(sp?)...where do I start
-her Mom clone (in the uneven skirt above her knee)
-those pants(no one should wear pants like that)
-why pair those pants with those sneakers
-why no bra
And then there was the singing - don't ya wish she hadn't sung that song.
Simon was really nice though, all things considered.

what I'm watching

Most of the guys in my lab rave about the show "24". I just can't get into it. Why? Plausibility. I require this in a show. I can't suspend my judgment long enough to enjoy it. Same deal with CSI.
What I watched on Monday night instead - "Eleventh Hour" (cool review here). It's on BBC america. And stars Patrick Stewart(captain Jean-Luc Picard himself :) as government scientist Ian Hood. Very entertaining. I taped it b/c they started the marathon at 3pm. I watched the last one Mon. And have been catching up on the rest of the eps as the week goes by.

My other guilty pleasure show (besides AI :) is "Doctor Who" (cool guide here). I like the 9th doctor better than the 10th. It's chessy at times - even though there's much more available in the way of technology nowadays, the aliens are still kinda cheesy. I love it.

Also watched some American Idol last night. Went to the gym so I missed the 1st hour. What I did see though was pretty funny. Personally I think the best parts of American Idol is the auditions - the bad auditions. You wonder how it's possible that they don't know they can't sing/are tone deaf. How? How? You'd think that after 16-20yrs someone would have been kind enough to tell them. More tonight, Yay!
Contestant Jennifer - I don't know which was more disturbing...her singing, her fake tan or the way she grabbed her belly with every note?

no more ice please

I hate ice storms. I hate ice on my walkway to my car, I hate ice sheets covering all the surfaces of my car. I finally bought some de-icer tonight. Trying to scrape ice sheets off the windows and windshield sucks. I don't mind the rain so much as long as the temp stays above freezing. I wouldn't even mind 4-5in of snow instead of this crap ice.

My joints hurt tonight. Don't know what is up with that.
When I went boxing last Thur, it was first real workout in a month. I felt fine on Fri and thought I'd gotten away from the usu pain after not exercising for so long. Nope. Could barely take my shirt off Sat morning without pain - my ribs, my shoulders, my back muscles all ached. Better today. Went to yoga today and we did several new positions that I didn't care for much. I was having a bit of wrist trouble and one position in particular, I think it was triangle or some sun salutation (hard to keep them all straight :) really hurt while I trying to get in position but I wasn't sure how to get out of position without falling over so I just waited for instructions from S. She told me I should have said something, that I was in pain. She always tries to find ways to help us change/alter position so that we're doing the positions correctly/in such a way as not to cause pain. It was still good though. We also did a bit of abdominal work. S was impressed with how long I could hold certain positions - all training from my boxing class :)

I finally got a chance to listen to the T.e.a.d.a CD I bought after I saw them live late last year. I love, love, love it. Track 4(3rd link on their site ) is my favorite.

I did major cleaning of my apt Sat, even put up pictures, finally unpacked and put away the suitcases from my trip. My apt is so neat and tidy - trying to keep it that way.

I want a turtle but with all the stuff I'd need to get, it just doesn't seem so practical to me anymore. Sadly, no turtle :( At least not in the near future. Instead I will have to transplant my 2 plants whose leaves are turning yellow. I know it's b/c they need more room. Maybe I also get a couple more plants as well. Not the same as turtles I know but still something.

I also went shopping with Z Sat evening. Very productive. Found perfect shoes to go with my dress for prom aka company Holiday party. And they were on sale(50% off). Also bought a 2nd pair which made my feet look so cute and dare i say sexy that I had to get them. Z agreed. They were 65% off. Total was $71. Not bad at all.

Still on my all-cash diet = credit money even with my debit card doesn't seem like real money to me. So no more of that this year. Only using cash, except at the pump b/c it's a pain to go in and out of the serviec station when I can just swipe, get my gas and go. But I have budgeted the money for it. Also keeping track of my expenses - so I can figure out what the hell I spend my money on and why I never seem to have enough. Actually I kinda know why I don't - mostly b/c I buy tons of crap I don't really need. That's all well and good but this year is all about control and curbing my excesses i.e. impulsive spending.

no more blog roll

Tonight I read a post on Ann's blog about blogger faux pas - she mentioned taking away her blog roll while she was on vacation and not putting it back until recently. Well I noticed this trend on several other blogs as well. At the time - I thought "I can do that?" So I removed mine as well. I found it more freeing than anything else. Less pressure somehow. I don't mean to slight anyone but I just figured that I'd comment on people's blogs when I felt I had something to say. Otherwise, I'd just enjoy their blogs - no pressure from them or from me. I'd gotten into this habit of checking my stats and wondering why people who used to read my blog weren't here anymore. I also was glad that some of you were still reading. All this though - just too much stress for me. So I've stopped checking the stats. Haven't checked it since before my vacay last year. The feeling I have now is really good. This not having a blog roll/having to constantly update my sidebar every time I found a new blog/worrying whether I'd offend someone if I took their name off my blog roll if I didn't go to their blogs anymore - all that gone. So if I offended anyone by doing so then I'm sorry. But I started this blog for me and so I choose to keep it the way that works for me.

maybe

I'm thinking of getting a pet - I know, even I am amazed that I'm seriously considering it. I even have an offer of one I could adopt from a colleague at work. He has one who's a loner (does not play well with others) so I wouldn't have to get him a companion. What kind of pet? A turtle. Why? My younger sibs have turtles and they are are the cutest things. They stick their heads out of the water and look at you when you talk to them - I did much talking to them. I think they liked the attention. 2 of them are very neglected by my youngest sis. She thought they were cute until she had to change their water(won't do it without gloves). She also says she feels funny talking to them b/c they can't talk back. To which I said "you don't really want them to talk back to you, that would be freaky". She laughed of course. I was delighted by them and maybe if I got one i'd feel a little less lonely. Of course, being in Trinidad, the turtles only need a tank and regular feeding. Here, I'd need to get a tank, filter, heater, lamps, etc. Big step. Also need to run this idea by my lanlord and make sure he would be ok with it. No pets in my lease but I think fish/turtles don't really count b/c it's not like they make noise or can ruin the hardwood floors. I also need to go to a petstore of some kind and see if I can really do this.I took many pics of the turtles. Each sis has a pair and they like to climb on each other. So cute. I never realized how cute turtles can be especially when they are asleep. See for yourself! So cute!

Finally the details

My vacation in T&T
19 Dec: The Plane
Seated next to a guy who talked the entire 5hrs of the flight. Told me his whole life story including his age(mid 40s)...currently single(divorced)....dates Black, Indian, White, anyone(he's Indian)....his fav foods...his job and current salary...# siblings...that he owns a house....etc, etc, etc. I could hardly get a word in edgewise which is really saying something b/c I can be quite chatty.
I tried to read my book, even made a half-hearted attempt at using my headphones but he just kept on talking and I guess I'm just too polite to be openly rude. He also gave me a gift-a silver chain. you might be wondering why I would accept such a gift from a stranger...well it's beautiful and he got all offended when I tried to refuse it. So I accepted it. Didn't know what else to do.
I told my Mum about it and she said that maybe the universe wanted to give me a gift and they used him as a medium.
He seemed like a perfectly nice guy if a bit chatty, just not for me. He had rings on every finger of each hand, a couple fingers even had 2 rings and he also had a couple bracelets on each hand as well. My kind of guy will not feel the need to wear that much jewelry at once. And he also wore his shades...on the plane for the entire flight. Odd, no?
They served the most disgusting meal I've ever had on a plane - turkey/cheese/unidentifiable chewy thing in an overheated bun which was too hard in some places and very soggy in others. Too gross for me to eat it all.

20 Dec/21 Dec: Food Poisoning
Ate Chinese food which was one of the things on my list of foods that I wanted to eat while I was home. Well, I got a horrible case of food poisoning within 20min of eating it. I threw up for a long time. Was in and out of the loo all night and most of the next day. The horror, the horror! 4 other family members also ate the same food I ate but no one else was sick. mu Mum said that maybe they were used to the bacteria.

I spent the next few days doing some shopping and seeing various uncles/aunts. Christmas was a really good day but we did miss my older sis who couldn't make it home this year. Got great presents, really nice pieces of jewelry as well as cool accessories for my iPod. Also got the Love Actually soundtrack. I love that movie and the soundtrack is great.

I spent most of my my time sitting in front of the fan. I was so hot. When I wasn't in front of the fan I was covered in a sheen of sweat, literally. It was not pretty. My body is just not used to the heat anymore.

My Mum sewed a couple outfits for me and I also bought a few long skirts. I can never find anything dressy that fits right normally so I was really glad to find the skirts. One of the outfits my Mum made is a really cool 2-piece top/skirt in a silvery purple Chinese silk (so beautiful)- I'm planning to wear that to our Holiday party at work which is in 2 weeks. All I need now are shoes.

Went to church with the family New Year's Day. Spent the rest of the day at the beach. My sisters ate bake and shark while I had kingfish and fries. No shark for me. Bake and shark is standard beach food in Trinidad.

3 Jan: time to fly back
Woke up at 5am to get ready to go to the airport. While checking in my bags, my Mum asked where my jacket was and I told her it was in one of the bags I was checking in. She suggested that I take it out and keep it in my hand luggage. Being the good daughter that I am, I did as she suggested. Boy am I glad that I did. Here's why.
Normally it takes 2-3 hrs from the time I get off the plane in Newark to get through immigration and customs b/c there are usu 100s of people in line ahead of me and we all have to be fingerprinted/photographed/etc. So instead of booking my connecting flight at 330pm, I booked the next available one at 9pm. I figured it'd only be about 3-4hrs wait and that way I wouldn't miss my connecting flight. The best laid plans of mice and men, isn't that what they say? Well my flight from Trinidad got in at 1:30pm and i was actually done with immigration and customs by 2:30pm. I think our flight was one of the first international ones to arrive so for once the line only had 3 people ahead of me. My luggage came out in no time as well. So I rechecked my bags (you have to pick up your luggage from international flights, go through customs with them, and then re-check them to your final destination) and decided to go to my gate and hang out there until my flight. I was so sick of Newark airport by 7pm. So tired of the waiting. At 8:30, I still can't see my flight on any of the screens, so I go up to one of the gate security guys and he looks at my ticket and tells me that it has wrong gate on it. He then tells me that I need 114B. So I ask if that's in Terminal B and he says yes. So he puts me on this shuttle bus (along with a few other people) which is supposed to take me from where I am (terminal A) to the right place. When the bus drops us off is, it's at Terminal C and that time is 8:45pm. So I stop one of the workers there and ask if I am in the right place for gate 114B-terminal B. They tell me no and that I have to take the air shuttle back to terminal B. I ask them if they are sure, tell them my destination and that the shuttle bus just brought me there. They insist that I need to take the air shuttle. I take the stupid air shuttle to terminal B and look around only to find out that there is no gate 114 in terminal B, it stops at gate 68. So I ask someone again, where I should be and they laugh and tell me that I need terminal C. I race back to terminal C and have to trek to the back of the damn terminal to find stupid gate 114B. It's now 9pm and my flight has just left...without me...after I waited 7 bloody hrs. I was so pissed off - partly at the incompetent workers who could have told me that 114B doesn't exist in terminal B and not sent me on a wild goose chase. I was also pissed at myself for not checking with someone earlier about my gate/flight since it was not on the departure boards at all in terminal A - should have been my first clue really that something was wrong. At first I thought it wasn't there b/c it was so early. Then I couldn't find an agent to ask. The service desk there for continental had a really long line and I figured I was in the right place so didn't bother to recheck to make sure I was in the right place. So I blame myself as well.
It took some more running around freaking terminal C before I could get to a service desk that was open. After waiting 45min I finally speak to a service rep who gives me a voucher to stay in hotel for the night. The next flight was leaving 8:30am Thurs. She was really nice and also gave me directions to the service office where I was able to toiletries. Totally needed b/c I'd forgotten to pack my toothbrush (even after my Mum reminded me about it) and when I got to the hotel at midnight, the gift shop was already closed. Another good thing was that she also gave me vouchers for dinner and breakfast. i had 1 clean shirt and basic underwear in my hand luggage. I couldn't sleep - probably due to all the stress/feeling like I'd miss flight in the morning. I woke up at 5am, showered, dressed, took the airport shuttle. It took an hr to get through security. Why don't people know the basic protocol for passing through security? Take off your shoes...put phones in bag, not in pocket...yes, your jacket/vest/belt need to be taken off...yes, you have to take your laptop out of the case...yes you need to have your ID out with your boarding pass. These are not difficult rules to remember, especially since there are video screens up saying all this in addition to the TSA security guards who also keep repeating this info for the idiots that don't seem to grasp these rules.

So I called my boss at work to let them know I was still in Newark but would be in to work around 11pm. My flight was supposed to get in at 10am. E came to pick me up at the airport; luckily my luggage was waiting for me (it had arrived on the flight I missed). I decided to just go into work instead of going home. I had quite a bit of corrections to do on the reports I did before I left for my vacay last year. My old project ended and I’ve been transferred to another project. I know most of the people on this project and my new supervisor is ok so far. I had to move my lab stuff to their lab. I also have to move my writing area stuff downstairs as it’d be closer to my new lab. It’s kind of a pain b/c I’ve been in the same writing area for 4 ½ yrs and have accumulated a fair amt of crap. So I’ll have to do some shredding of old project paperwork. I’m ready for a change.

new year

Resolutions:

Make a budget and stick to it

Manage my money better - no more random spending/no more using credit cards

Don't go shopping without a list - only buy stuff on it

Get to work before 8am every day

Cook more often - prepare meals that are simple(no stress) but healthy and by doing this eat less preserved food/takeout

Meant to do major update here of my holiday and travel woes, etc. but I have a killer headache - most likely due to lack of sleep. I've only had about 10hrs sleep over the past 3 days. Maybe tomorrow. Have to get off the computer now, eyes are starting to sting a little.

home sweet home

I'm home at last. Had a great vacay! I'm actually missing the heat now.

Nightmare of a return journey. More details tomorrow. Must sleep now.