another week

This week didn't start out great but all in all was a good week. Had a slight mix-up with a few compounds I was shipping and recheck/rerun several pieces of data to be sure I had them labeled correctly. I did, thank goodness but I had to check to be certain. My job depends greatly on accuracy and certainty. If stuff goes awry, you need to be able to say that you are 100% certain of things. I was glad I checked and made sure.

My supervisor was his usu surly self but his boss(B2)and his boss's boss (B3) both gave me several compliments this week. I shipped out 4 compounds last week, have 4 going next week and 4 will be ready to go the week after that. I've been working a little extra to get the work done since I was supposed to shift to new targets soon. Anyhoo, they were both impressed with my progress and felt that I had done a great job and shipped the compounds out in record time. It was really nice to have those compliments repeated. Usually when I make a mistake, I have to listen to my boss, B2 and B3 (job culture = hierarchy, chain of command) all tell me about my error and how I should take care not to repeat it in the future, and the steps I need to take to avoid it in the future. So it's nice to have compliments repeated in the same vain.

My group went to lunch this week to say farewell to a co-worker(moved to another project) - I wasn't going to have dessert b/c no one else seemed to want it. Then B3 said, if you want it, get it, you deserve it, you've been working hard (usually the most senior manager there picks up the tab for our group lunches). How cool is that? So I had triple layer chocolate cake. Pretty good cake.

In other news...I'm getting a turtle. For real this time. My friend has one reserved for me (his turtles layed eggs and he incubated them and several of them hatched and are doing well). So now I have to get a tank and stuff for it. I'm so excited. I haven't asked my landlord. I've decided to move again. See "why I have to move again"

stranger than me

Tonight I rented "Stranger Than Fiction"(STF). I saw it in the cinema but was in the mood for it again tonight. Went to the video store to choose a movie for tonight - I had one free movie coupon left (from reward point from a credit card). I was determined to borrow a movie I hadn't seen before. My choices..."the last king of scotland" or "the good shepherd". I wasn't really in the mood for either of those movies, even though I do want to see them eventually. Felt like something more upbeat and funny. So I went with STF. Such a great movie. The only thing is that when I first saw this movie - I went with several friends. We had horrible seats in the nosebleed section, partly due to the fact that there were 6 of us, we were late and it was opening weekend and the place was packed. Anyhoo, one of the friends with me was C. And I had such a great time watching the movie with him next to me. He and I laughed at many of the same things (that most other ppl weren't laughing at). He was very touchy-feely. Not inappropriately, he only touched my hand or arm from time to time. I liked it, a lot. And later we went for coffee and hung out for a while with a couple other friends. He sat next to me again and seemed so into me. It was a very good night, at least I thought it was. I was sure he'd call soon for us to hang again. He even suggested it himself to me that night. But then...nothing. No calls from him, nothing. This was back in December I think. He hasn't called me since. Several times I started dialing his number but bailed at the last minute before it goes through. Then I recently saw his ad on yahoo personals...for someone other than me...much younger than me...any race but black. I'd almost forgotten about that night. Guess I was trying to block it out b/c it's tied to the other not-so-good stuff.

So there's this guy at the gym who I thought was kinda cute but he seemed shy. I don't have much patience for the shy. I just don't. Anyhoo, finally he comes over to me and talks to me at the gym for quite some time (while I worked out on 3 different machines). So I figure, the next time he sees me, he's going to ask for my number at the very least or ask me out...maybe for drinks or coffee sometime. Well, I was wrong again. I swear, sometimes my love-life (or lack thereof) is a like a country-western song. 5 times now he has come over to talk to me. Does he expect to learn all about me without even paying for a coffee. What am I supposed to think? That he's interested? Or that he's not interested? Whatever I'm supposed to think...what I think now is that he's a weirdo. One of my friends told me I should ask him out for coffee. But I fear if I do this, it'll only confirm my suspicions that he's a weirdo and then I'll end up having to give him that awkward "I'm just not interested in you" talk b/c I was the one who asked him out first.

The other weird thing is that I saw him tonight. Not at the gym(cause you know there's no way I'm going there on a sun), but at the gas station where I decided to go fill up my tank before going to get my movie (the gas station is next door). The weird thing is that he was there at all b/c he lives far away from there (at least 15min or more) whereas I live 5 min from there. The gas is cheaper there than at most stations and he drives an Audi which needs premium grade so maybe it's worth it to him to drive that far. I always wonder about people driving around (wasting gas) to find the cheapest gas. Surely it'd be cheaper to get gas closest to you than to drive further for it. imho, but what do I know. From our conversations...where he never asks me for my number or asks me out...I don't think we have much in common other than the fact that our parents are from the same country. Plus with every meeting, he's becoming less cute and more weird. He totally came up behind me at the gym the other day and I was like "whoa, don't sneak up on me". What does he think? that we have thing now? That he can get into my personal space and I'd be ok with that. Maybe I'm the one who's weird. I just don't think this guy is it.

I have a totally inappropriate crush on a guy at work - he's 22. I'm sure it'll pass. He's funny and and sarcastic and so quick-witted. And 22. I try not to visit his lab anymore so I don't see him much. This is for the best. I couldn't even think about dating this guy ever. Even if he was interested in someone 10 yrs older. He's way too young. Plus, he's a co-worker in my former lab and that would just make me fodder for the rumor mills. Who needs that? I sure don't. I only bring this up b/c I was telling T while we were out at lunch about my crush. Well I started to say " I think my crush is fading, this is good". She said "oooh, the guy from the gym?" And I was like "not him, no way, he's barely even cute anymore, I don't have a crush on him at all. I was talking about a guy here at work". I planned to keep his name to myself for as long as possible. Well until the crush goes away completely. Any day now, it's bound to happen.

I just don't know what to think or do about this guy at the gym. I actually have a name for him - dorkyD. It's a little mean, I know. In my defense all I can say is that, no guy who was interested in me before waited this long to ask for my number. Not even the weirdos. Actually, the weirdos always want my number asap or give me theirs if I refuse to give them mine. The longer he waits, it'll be 3 weeks mon. Granted I only see him a couple times a week at the gym and I only went once last week. I have seen him randomly before though. At the grocery - again far away from where hw claims he lives. Well he has to pass 4 or 5 other groceries to shop at that one. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was stalking me.

I gotta stop this train of thought - obviously, I'm tired and should go to bed now.

motivation

Trying on swim suits are a great way to motivate yourself into going to the gym.

I was in Target over the weekend and saw a few suits on sale. Tried on a couple (different sizes)and ummm I just put them back and got out of there as fast as I could. Why? It's called back-fat. I have it. It's not pretty. While I do think that the style of the suits were probably not suited to my body shape, I didn't expect them to look that awful from the back. They were one-piece suits with the back cut out. I think a tankini-style suit is probably more my style.

In my head I figured that if I lost ~5lbs I'd be fine...near if not at my optimum weight...anymore than that and I'd start wasting away(or so I thought). The back-fat tells another story though. Maybe I could stand to lose more like 10-15 lbs after all. According to the BMI/body fat charts/calculators, my optimal weight is 25-30lbs less than I weigh. I don't think I need to lose that much. I think I have a medium frame and as such could stand to have more weight than they allow for my height. My actual weight(number) is not what I really care about, I think being able to fit into clothes comfortably would be nice. Not to be hanging over my jeans/belt would also be good. Not to have several creases in my back, ideal. And if I could minimize the love handles to the point where I don't have to name them, perfect.

Finally the kick I needed to get back to the gym. Every day I kept telling myself that today's the day...today's the day that I go back to the gym...but today never seemed to come. I'd end up staying at work too late or be too hungry or too tired or just plain not-in-the-mood. Tonight, no more excuses. I worked out for an hour incl wieght machines/warm up and cool down.

My feet are killing me. My lower back and hamstrings don't feel too great either. Might have done a little too much. That's me, all or nothing. No moderation. Nothing in between.

Another reason I was reluctant getting back to the gym was that I didn't want to answer questions like...were you on vacation? thought you moved? Got a few of those but I had answers ready..."yes I was on vacation [from the gym hehe"] or "yes, it's been a while hasn't it". :) No big deal really. Stuff like this always seems like a bigger deal in my head that they work out to be in reality. I don't always remember that.

I did see a guy that I normally say "hi" to whenever I see him at the gym. I've also bumped into this same guy at the grocery store. I kept telling myself that one of these days he's going to have enough courage to actually come up to me and speak :)
Today was totally that day. He saw me and waved and I waved back. Then to my surprise, he walked right over (from the other side of the gym, I might add) and said more than hello. He said "long time no see", etc. I kinda told him about my recent motivation in brief...trying on swim suits, just the motivation I needed to get back to working out. He said - what do you mean? you look very attractive, you don't need to worry about it at all". Isn't that sweet? We chatted for a bit while I worked on a few machines. He and I have something in common. His parents are also from T&T. We had a nice chat. He also asked if I had been on vacation somewhere b/c I seemed to have gotten darker. I told him about my trip home 4 mths ago. The main reason I'm darker now is because there is actual sunshine and I have been walking outside whenever the weather allows. I got a great deal of sun this past weekend as I went walking with T in the morning on Sat. It was great. We walked for about an hour then sat outside a local coffeehouse, with iced tea and bagels, before walking back to her house. I was also outside during prime sunshine hrs on Sun. So great after the many days of rain we had early last week.

I'm in pain, time for some advil, I think, then bed.

Nadal was in top form for the first major clay event of the year (Monte Carlo). Brilliant match against Federer.

The Yankees...real bust this weekend in their opener against Red Sox in Fenway. Can't watch any more of it. Time for bed anyway...it doesn't look good :(

taking names

I was reading a post over on Virginia Belle's blog - about having to add another name to her "Men Who are Obviously Not Interested in Me" list.

I didn't think other people had this list too. You know what else? My list is full. I don't want to add any more names to it. Instead I want to be able to make a new list(s). How about...

"Men who want me and are not too shy to do something about it" or maybe
"Men who think I'm hot" or how about
"Men who are so into me" or (and this one is my favorite)
"Men who want me to marry them and have their babies"...Jeter? Nadal? Tristan?

I already have several candidates for these lists. A pity and a shame that they are currently empty. These are the lists I want to be adding names to.

It's April, right?

I feel the need to write this b/c it snowed/sleeted/rained all day. What's up with that? The weather gurus are all excited b/c they have something to talk about again. Phooey! That's all I have to say about that.

I did finally get my iPod sorted - finally figured out the stupid software I paid for and got it to transfer my songs from iPod back to iTunes. But it took me a while and so when I finally had it worked out, it actually transferred several songs 2 or 3 times or at least their file names if not the actual info in the music files. Yeah, this meant many duplicates/broken links. I spent a good part of today deleting the duplicates and re-loading some of the albums that were corrupt. My sis got me an external backup hard drive so I can keep my music on that as back-up. Took me a while to figure that out as well. From the link in amazon, it made it seem idiot-proof...like all I needed to do was press a button and voila...info backed-up. Not so simple, folks. The specs for it mention that it comes with a 22" USB cord. It's more like a 5" USB cord. Still usable though and since my sis was also thoughtful enough to get me a storage case for the drive I just place it in that on the floor by the USB port on my tower. So no worries :)

birthday

Stayed home for my birthday as planned on Mon. I slept in a little (till 8am). Had a leaisurely breakfast then spent much of the day cleaning. I meant to do it Sat/Sun but was out much of the time or just in a lazy tv-watching/reading mood. It was ok though. So I invited about 14 people. I figured that they wouldn't all show up but at least I'd know in time since I specifically asked them to let me know by Fri - I also included my phone and home email in case something came up on Sat and they needed to cancel. I hadn't figured that some of them would wait till the last minute to tell me they weren't coming. I had to call a couple of them to find out they weren't coming. A couple of them called me at 730pm Mon night (yeah, they were supposed to be there at 6) to tell me they weren't coming. I know ppl have lives, stuff comes up, whatever. Surely they could have let me know sooner. I guess I just don't rate a highly as I thought. In spite of them, having too much pizza/cake, I had a great birthday.

I did have a great time with my friends who did show up. They brought cards and festive moods with them. We spent most of the night playing poker - we used coins and just made them have the same value regardless. We also spent some of the time eating chocolate mocha silk and chocolate cake with whipped cream/butter icing and sprinkles. A few also had yellow cake. I baked the cakes (from a box -Pillsbury makes the best box cakes) - and only made the yellow b/c I was catering to the ppl who bailed at the last minute.
I just have to let it all go though - it's hard b/c I'd never do that to any of them. If I can't go I let them know as soon as I can and I don't bail at the last minute. I took the extra pizza and cake into work on Tues and they were glad for it. Got some really good gifts/cool cards as well.
I also got quite a few e-cards. My Mum has discovered e-cards now - kinda cool. I got some funny Easter cards and also sent a few funny ones. The funniest one by far featured Hoops and Yoyo talking about Easter candy - hysterical...well it made me laugh hysterically :) They make me think of my sis and me. When we get together we often act very silly and sometimes can't stop the wise-cracks, funny voices and giggles. Fun times. If you have time, do take a look at them if you haven't before.

This has nothing to do with anything - a guy I knew in college (he was in my chem classes) used to say "fun times" all the time. I think he thought it was funny. It was, the first 3 times he said it. Not so much after that. He was a little pompous - he claimed that he came from a "rich, little town with huge houses". Like anyone cared? Anyhoo, I find that I use "fun times" from time to time. I try not to use it too often lest I annoy other people in the same way that guy used to annoy me.

Watching Beetlejuice - I must either have forgotten or just haven't seen it from the beginning before in a long time. Can you believe this movie is almost 20 yrs old? Oh how the time flies? I noticed for the first time tonight that the sandworms aren't scary at all, they look like sock puppets. I remember when I first saw this movie I was pretty freaked out by the sandworms. I was also freaked out by Beetlejuice himself. Alec Baldwin is quite dashing but Micheal Keaton is maginificently repulsive as Beetlejuice. And then there's that dance he does...so funny.

swwet escape indeed.

Today my birthday. It's also my lucky day. Why? It started with me singing along to Gwen on "Sweet Escape" - which I'd just bought from the mall. I was trying to make the light and didn't realize I was going that fast. I actually started slowing down a bit b/c I thought I was going a little fast.

I got pulled over by a state trooper today. Actually he'd been trying to pull me over for 4 blocks and I was oblivious until he sounded his siren. I was curious and a bit alarmed that he seemed to be following me and lights were flashing but did I stop? Ummm, no, I did slow a bit and then when I heard the siren, I realized, Oh crap, he's stopping me.
He asked for my license and registration. He had to point out the registration card to me as I was searching for it (frantically) in the envelope from my glove box - the envelope labeled registration/insurance. I guess I was just a bit nervous. He also asked if I had gotten a speeding ticket before (now I'm kinda scared). to which I answered no. He asked, "Never, no tickets?" I told only parking tickets. He asked if they were all paid. I told all except for the last one which I pleaded "not guilty" to. He asked where I was going? I told him I was going home and that I'd just come from the mall. So he then went to his car. He came back and told me he wasn't going to give me a ticket today. He also said that I had been doing 49 in a 30 and it was a school zone - meaning double the fines/double the points. I then thanked him and told him it was my birthday and would have really sucked to get a ticket today. Then he said, well happy birthday, I definitely can't give a ticket today. he also said to "watch my speed".

Sweet escape indeed - I don't think that's what Gwen's talking about but it's still apprpriate here :)

Federer's lost his mojo

Federer lost to Canas again! I can't believe it, even though I saw it with my own 2 eyes, live on tv. What's up Roger? What's wrong? What's happened to your mojo? Dude, you seriously need to get it back.
My boy Nadal has another shot at winning another big tourney(as far as point standings go) so I'm not as heart-broken as I sound going on and on about Federer losing. But the man is like one of the best players in history so it's very surprising, is all. At least tonight's match was more of a match than the last time he played Canas in the Pacific Life open - none of his shots were working that day.

In other sports news, the West Indies played Australia today in Cricket World Cup. Those Aussies are so damn good at their cricket. I don't know how our boys (Windies) are going to beat 300+ runs in 50 overs for 6 - this probably means nothing to you if you don't understand cricket. Let's just say that Windies don't usually score that many runs in 50 overs. Luckily, the match was delayed due to rain and is to be cont'd tomorrow I think. Else those Aussie boys would probably still be scoring runs now. I probably wouldn't even be following the cricket if it weren't for a couple co-workers from India and Pakistan who are really into cricket. So I feel honor-bound to keep up on the results at least. They are both really bummed b/c both India and Pakistan got eliminated in the early rounds. And by Ireland and Bangladesh no less. Not a crack on Bangladeshis, but really who even knew that Ireland played cricket seriously enough to be in the world cup. World Cup cricket has a round-robin format much like world cup soccer(football) does. Each group (A-D) had 2 strong teams and 2 weaker teams. Pakistan and India are generally considered to have strong cricket sides so it's a shame really for them not to be in the super 8's. Ok, enough cricket.

April is coming which means now I can also watch baseball and my beloved Jeter(don't be jealous of Nadal) and the Yankees.

April also means Spring...Easter...my B'day. All good things. This year I don't want to do anything too big for my b'day. I was thinking of maybe just going out to the karaoke bar that weekend. Of course, that'll be Easter weekend and I'm singing for Easter(in choir on Sun) so I may not want to have too wild a night before. I was also thinking of maybe just having a few people over for cake and ice-cream. Then I thought about how small me place is and how much seating room I have (4-5 with a push, anyone else on the floor).
I think a few peeps will be out of town or with their families so maybe I will do that and it'll only be 4-5 friends. That'd be cool. I'm even thinking of baking the cake(s) myself. Of course I still have 2 weeks to bail on this idea. I just don't want to do what I did last year. It was good but not only did I have to pay for my dinner myself(on my b'day) all fine, didn't really expect them to pay for me. But I also had to chip in $12 bucks more b/c someone didn't put enough in - I feel bad stiffing the waiter on their tip from a table with 8 people, that's just wrong. I was a little upset by that. Maybe who ever didn't put enough in didn't realize. Maybe. So no big dinner out with people. If I do decide to do dinner I don't want so many people there that I have to make a reservation. No more than 3 or 4 incl me. That's why I was thinking more along the lines of cake/ice cream. Sure to cost less than $55 dollars.

I think that the people who live downstairs have a washing machine in their apt. At least it sounds like they do. So not fair as I have to go out to the laundromat but that's another story. They can't seem to find any other time to do laundry but at midnight or 1am. WTF? They are home all damn day. Or at least when I leave they are here, I come home for lunch on occasion, they are here. I get home early, still here. So why the hell must they do laundry so late at night? Another thing they do late at night is move shit around - I hear stuff dragging and lots of footsteps. Even though I'm in the upstairs apt, I hear all this. Why? My guess...they suck and are trying to get on my last nerve. Well, maybe they are not trying to annoy intentionally. How can I be sure though.

I better get to bed. I feel crappy, congested and like I'm about to wheeze (even after taking my emergency inhaler). This is not good. I'm taking too much medication to feel like this. I've been having trouble sleeping off and on. So much so that I forgot to set my alarm and overslept one morning - got to work at 9:45am, so not good. To offset that I've been making an effort to get to bed earlier so I can get more sleep/rest. I woke up a few times last couple nights. It might be my asthma meds that's contributing to this. So I thought to keep myself up a little longer in the hope that I would sleep till my alarm goes off. Then I end up staying up too late. No win situation. All this not sleeping enough is not helping my asthma either. Also have not been to the gym in 3 weeks, not been to boxing in 2 months maybe. Can't remember. Not good. I've got to get back into the groove. I've actually only put on a pound or 2 since. This is good. My muscles are slowly wasting away though. I can feel myself becoming more sluggish every day. We've been having relatively nice weather and I have been going out for walks about 2x a week so that's something. Got to get back into regular routine. After all, my gym membership is not free. I was watching the show Workout (on Bravo) and I'm envious of all their in shape bodies. They measured their body fat and the trainers had 10-18% body fat. Imagine. My body fat is closer to my age, not really where I want to be. Got to do something more. More than just wishing for it. Something proactive.

Not tonight though - time for bed now.

now i know

I think I finally figured out why C never called me even though he seemed keen, interested and said he would - even though I erased my profile from yahoo, I still get occasional emails about matches based on basic search criteria. Well, guess who was on there tonight. I checked out his profile after seeing his pic. I must confess that I made a new profile so I could actually read what was in his (they don't let you open profiles after a while until you create one of your own).
He's looking for a woman 20-24 who's not Black. He had all the other criteria checked in the ethnicity category except Black. Very telling. Usually I look at this section in a guy's profile first, no point reading and getting excited about some guy who doesn't date/is not interested in Black women (for whatever reason).
Not only am I Black, I'm also older than 24. 2 strikes in his book surely. So now I know. Am I happier with this knowledge? NOT at all. I guess it's better to know though. So glad I never called him after he promised to call me. How embarrasing would that be...to be chasing after a guy who's not interested in you at all, not really, not in a romantic way in any event.

Rafa...Rafa...Rafa(can you hear me shouting)

He's done it and in dominant fashion as well. My boy Rafa has beat Roddick today 6-4, 6-3. I'm so hoping that Murray beats Djokovic later tonight. I want a Nadal vs Murray match-up for the men's final. This is a big win for Nadal. He needed this. I can't wait for tomorrow match.
S confessed to getting me an early bday pressie - Nadal calendar. Perfect timing S.

just call me...fanatic...T_E_A_D_A

I went to see T.e.a.d.a/Danu in concert last night. Cost of ticket $20. I didn't get lost on the way surprisingly considering that I hadn't been there before. The show started off in true Celtic fashion with a local pipe and drum band, complete with tartans, highland bagpipes and tall socks. I love bagpipes.

Then T.e.a.d.a followed. Tristan was his usual dreamy self, he introduced all their songs and gave a little background about the composer of it/where it originated. My only regret is that I didn't bring their CD with me. They were signing. I could have had Tristan(and the other lads) sign my CD. I guess I just have to go to the next show they play here. That'll be in September and I can't wait.

It was even better for me than when I saw them at Christmas b/c I actually recognized most of the songs they played this time. Their album is #1 in Ireland. Yet these guys are so down to earth. I spoke to 3 of them. Oisin, Sean and of course the lovely Tristan. You can see them in this video. The music sounds a bit 'tinny' in the video link. You can get a better idea of their sound (and the way they sound live) from their site when you click link for individual songs. Sean plays bouzouki/banjo and guitar, Oisin's on fiddle, the wonderful Tristan on bodhran(a type of drum), Damian on flute. The guy on button accordion in the video is Paul. Him I've yet to see. Both this time and the last time I saw T.e.a.d.a, they had Tommy Martin instead playing Irish bagpipes/tin whistle. He is also a brilliant musician. I would have bought his CD last night but didn't have enough cash on me. Next time. Even though I didn't have their CD and wasn't buying another, that didn't stop me from going over for a chat with "the lads". "The lads" is how Muireen from Danu referred to T.e.a.d.a. I'm going to start saying that all the time now - the lads :)

I wondered whether Tristan watered the bodhran he plays from the same water that he drinks from. Just before he starts playing, he pours a little water on it, rubs it in, then keeps a mean beat on it. So I asked him, and in his lovely, Irish lilt, he told me, "no, never, it's sacred...has it's own water bottle". And he smiled. And I may have giggled and said something inane. No matter. I mean it's not like I could really envision having a relationship with a musician...who lives in a different country...who travels all year with his band. If I could though, Tristan would be the one.
I also chatted with Sean and asked him to help me pronounce the name of their latest CD Inne Amarach(yesterday, tomorrow). He said I was close, and that the accent on the 'e' in inne and the first 'a' in amarach is called a "fada" and gives it a long vowel sound. Maybe he was just being kind and I butchered it trying to say it. Oh well. I also asked Oisin how to say his name and its something like 'o-sheen'. I tried and am sure I didn't quite say it right either. At least Tristan's name was easy. Can't be butchering the name of the love of my life now can I :)

As for the show, it was great, the music was so beautifully played. It almost breaks your heart but then it mends again at the end. This is what I get from most of the Celtic music I listen to.

Danu followed after and they were really great as well. They sing as well as have instrumental songs and they have a slightly different feel from T.e.a.d.a(who mostly do instrumental pieces) but still enjoyable. They were funny, made random jokes about each other throughout their set. Very fun. A fun fact: both of the fiddlers from each band are named Oisin. I wonder if you have to take up the fiddle if you are named Oisin. Coincidence?

They all came out for one encore performance...together. It was really cool. I don't know if this is the norm or not since I've not been to many concerts and the ones I have been to have only 1 band/musician playing. They played like they were used to all playing together - sign of great musicians.

I'm so pleased that I went, in spite of the fact that I had to go alone b/c S was out of town and Z said it was too much money. Never mind the fact that Z wanted to go out on a bar crawl with M&D tomorrow for St. Paddy's. When I said that I wasn't interested in standing out in the cold and drinking, not much drinking since I'd be driving. She suggested we could get a cab. Yeah, a cab, plus drinks, then food. More than $20 in addition to the discomfort and hassle. I'm not in the mood for that. Not my idea of a good time. At least not anymore(methinks I might be getting old(er). I think my $20 was more than well spent to see a couple bands whose CDs I own and whose music I enjoy. I know, I know, people should spend their money on whatever they like. I'd just prefer a more honest response, like "I'm just not in the mood for Irish music" or "not really interested in seeing them again". More than adequate and easier to believe than "too much money".
I've celebrated St, Paddy's my way, so staying in tomorrow(with all the snow we have and that's to come), not a problem at all.

The man I eventually end up with will have to like/love Celtic music also b/c I don't want to have to go to things like this by myself forever. It's always more fun if you have someone to share it with.

just call me...fanatic...tennis

Got a great surprise today. A Rafael Nadal calendar. It's beautiful, he's beautiful and so manly. I love Nadal (I'm sure that comes as a shock ;). If his name means nothing to you, you must not follow men's pro tennis. If not, now's the time to start peeps :). Pacific Life Open aka Indian Wells tourney in CA. Worth a lot of points and all the top seeds compete. Federer:the man the legend - I feel like saying that everytime I say his name) is out, outed by a nobody, Canas. Well, not a complete nobody but he has been out of the game for nearly 2yrs. Federer has been no.1 for so long, can anyone even remember who held the crown before him. I can't. As it stands in world rankings, Federer's #1. Nadal's #2. Roddick's #3. i have to back my boy Nadal and I hope he has a great game. i will be watching tomorrow on espn2.
I added the Tennis channel to my cable lineup (it only cost me ~$2 more/mth). It's been great, being able to watch all the early rounds. plus they have several informational shorts about players and tennis in general. it's pretty cool.

He's set for a semifinal match-up with S's fav Roddick. We are both very excited. I have no idea who sent me this calendar. There was no card inside, no note. The outside envelope has the name of the company it came from only. I've narrowed it down to 1 or 2 people who know me and how much I love Rafa, who would send me a random pressie. I'm not all that fond of surprises usu but this was a great one.

in other news

I left work at 2:30 today b/c the snow was just starting to cover the roads. I was only the 2nd person to leave from my lab. They are all looking for the 'best employee' ever awards. Not me, I'm into something different. Like the "being able to get home safely b/c I left before the roads became too congested and even more slick and dangerous" award. I'd barely gone 3 miles, was waiting at the light that's just out of the industrial park where I work - I saw a co-worker's car do a 360° spin as she was trying to take the ramp on the right. I was at the light waiting to turn left. 5secs before she was there, I could see her car approaching in my rear-view mirror...I was thinking of reversing and turning right instead. So glad I didn't b/c she would have slammed into me. Luckily for her, me, and who knows who else...no one was in front of/directly behind her. Also the ramp is a full one next to the lane. So she avoided slamming into on-coming traffic and after a couple secs after her spin, she turned around and drove off.
When I left work, the parking lot was still full of cars. The snow is not supposed to get any better. I'm glad I left when I did b/c the roads weren't great but they would only get worse as the afternoon wore on. i stopped at the grocery for supplies on my way home and now i'm all cosy and don't have to worry about cars losing control and slamming into mine (my constant fear when I have to drive in snow).

hello world

My pc is finally fixed. No thanks to dell support. I had to do a second system wipe (this I suspect was my fault, sorta. I would actually like to blame the guys from PC World but I really only have myself to blame. Why? I suspect the recurring error loop that I couldn't get out of was due to a batch editor file I downloaded b/c I imagined myself a pc expert after reading a few PC World magazines - they claimed that zone alarm tended to create huge unnecessary files and that they had a fix for it. Well, it erased something essential for zone alarm anti virus to be able to run and this resulted in recurring errors. At first I tried to do a system restore to a previous data point. it wasn't far enough b/c after 5min, the same thing kept happening.After 2nd wipe/return to factory settings, followed by downloading/installing all 79 microsoft updates, reinstalling zone alarm anti virus, my system seems to finally be at peace again.

Of course my system no longer contains the 12GB of music I had on it - from CDs and iTunes. They are currently on my iPod. I emailed apple support to ask if they a way for me to connect them without deleting everything still on the iPod. They suggested that I change my automatic updater to manual updates. Well, I have to connect the iPod to see that screen. I don't move at superhuman speed so I don't think I can change to manual updates before it erases everything. I'm just going to have to try it and hope for the best.

high hopes

Just got off the phone with my family. After 2 days, I seem to be ok on the new Foradil medicine. My sis barely recognized my voice when I answered - I sound so much better than I have in weeks and it's only been a couple days. I have high hopes for this medicine.

software

Finally, I can check my yahoo mail again. Haven't been able to login for 3mths. Also haven't been able to join netflix or do anything cool I wanted to. Why? Mainly b/c of Mcafee. I've gotten rid of it(most of it, stick have some digging to do to remove all the pesky files that didn't uninstall when I told it to).

I've gotten zone alarm antivirus instead. Also downloaded anitspyware and antimalware apps. Borrowed pc magazines from the library and have learned a whole lot of what I can/should have installed if I don't have a whole security suite. I decided to pay for my antivirus/firewall and get the other stuff from freeware - mostly from c-net download.com and pcworld.

No more annoying alerts from mcafee asking me to allow every single cookie it encountered. You know that Mac ad where the pc and mac dudes are talking and the MIB guy is behind the pc guy saying "...cancel or allow" for everything? Just like that but not as funny. This is why yahoo stopped working. I tried to fix it. I went into all the settings (both in mcafee and firefox/IE 7) to allow all cookies, nothing worked.

My pc if mostly free of mcafee now. It took up so much space and resources. More than zonelabs plus the 4 other freeware apps I've installed. It's great!

Dinner & movie

I'm really due for a break, for things to start going well. I feel more positive now than I did at the start of this week. That's a good sign.
Went to dinner / movie last night with my usual group. This helped improve my outlook.

For dinner, I picked a grilled Ahi tuna sandwich with fries. It was delicious and it only cost $17 incl tip for my share. I had hot tea, no alcohol (this always ramps up the bill). The tuna was a little rarer than I would normally have it if I cooked it myself but was still good. The fries were thick-cut, crispy on the outside and fully cooked on the inside. Perfect. I also had tastes of everyone else's entres. All really good food at reasonable prices.

I hate it when we go out to eat and I realize I've spent $30 or more on mediocre food. So I went in tonight thinking about the cost and ordering to suit. The restaurant was empty except for us and 2 other tables. The food was so good, I don't know why it wasn't packed with patrons. The bread they brought out before out dinner was warmed in the oven first. Warmed bread is rarely done these days and always a real treat for me. Maybe it was the time - we got there after our movie around 9:30pm. They had live jazz which at first weirded me out. I got there first and a couple amateurs were "singing karaoke-style" I use this term very generously. By the time the others got there, they'd stopped thank God. The band was a little too loud. I prefer it to be background rather than so loud it feels like a concert.

We saw Zodiac which for some reason I've been calling 'vertigo' all week. Some kind of brain glitch...with the week I've had I guess it's excusable. It was a bit gory in parts but interesting all the way through. Wasn't bored and I think the ending was done well.

Hell week cont'd - health issues

Friday 9am
With all this stuff going on, I'm also really busy at work this week and have worked late days almost every day for the last 2 weeks. This is in spite of the fact that I feel like crap. I have felt worse. So I finally call my allergist's office to schedule an appt. I have to wait for the nurse to call me back so I can explain about the side-effects I had from the Advair and that I stopped taking it and went back on Flovent. So she gives me a 3pm appt. I had a reaction which I had to quench before leaving b/c it's one that goes bad if you leave it too long after it's completed. I don't realize all this until 2:30pm. By the time I take care of it, it's 2:50. I'm a little panicked b/c it usu takes 20min to get to my doc if there's no traffic. Luckily there wasn't much traffic and I got there at 3:05pm, not too bad.
Apparently, other people have been having problems with the new advair inhalers as well. Their problems seem to be due to some malfunction of their inhalers - it's delivering more than it should. I don't think that's my issue. I didn't notice anything unusual about it. I've been using inhalers for more than half my life, I'd notice. The inhalers need cleaning more frequently now since they changed to non-CFC propellants. I'm all for saving the environment but the new propellants "HFA" are crap imho and don't work as well as the good-ole CFCs. Pity they damage the environment so have to be phased out. I'm glad my albuterol inhalers don't have HFA propellant yet.

So I explain it all again to my doc and she agrees that I have a problem with the salmeterol in advair. So no more adavir for me. She asked about Singulair - no good either, had an allergic reaction last time I tried it. So no singulair either. She said I needed another medication in addition to the flovent b/c on it's own, it doesn't seem to be enough. What's left? Foradil-another long-acting bronchodilator(LAB). Now I know why they don't prescribe this first. It's a pain. For one, the capsules have to be refrigerated but not frozen.
Then it's a whole process to take it. I do a google search(b/c I must with all my Rx's) and the first link talk about people dying in a large clinical study from it. My hope is that I won't be as sensitive to it as I am to the other LABs I've taken like salmeterol.

Hell week...plumbing issues

This has been a really rough week. Even though I knew it had to start getting better at some point, I just couldn't see it. Now things seem to be on the rise. Maybe it was the lunar eclipse that caused it - the last 2 weeks have been really shitty so maybe not.

Sat 4th March
I call my landlord b/c my bath rm sink had some kind of water pressure problem, water was just trickling out. So he tells me he'll come with a plumber Mon night. some of the pipe connections were still iron pipes which tend to get clogged with gunk(his words).

Sun
He comes by and does something with it b/c when I get back from choir/errands, the water pressure seems normal i.e. I can actually wash my hands in less than 3min.
So I think, maybe I was mistaken and he came today to fix it. Wrong.

Monday 6:30pm
I get a call on my cell while I'm still at work telling me that he and the plumber have arrived and are going to take care of things...

8:00pm - I get home to find them both still in my bath rm "fixing". They don't leave until 10:30pm and there is a mysterious leak in the new elbow joint they've put in that they can't seem to fix. It's a small, slow leak so they put a bucket under it and tell me that maybe the joint will 'swell' in a couple days and it'll stop. The floor under the sink/toilet has been removed and the dank, smelly wood underneath exposed. it reeks in there. Plus they must've knocked the toilet roll off in water and put it back b/c it has gurbby marks on it and also that swollen, frilly look at one end that tissue/paper towls get if you drop one end in water. What kills me is that they put it back. it's a good thing I always put my glasses on before goin to the loo b/c I could have used (shudders to think) that on my person. How Gross is that? So I've left it there for them to futz around with and have opened a new roll which I hide in the closet before I leave.

11:30pm - banging on my back door (accessible only by my downstairs neighbor or landlord, it my downstairs neighbor telling me he has a flood in his kitchen and he thinks it's coming from me. I have no water on any of my floors so this seems uinlikely to me. He asks to come in and look for himself. I let him (b/c I just want to get to sleep). He looks and can't find the source, not in my bathrm...not under my kitchen sink. He tells me he thinks "they broke a pipe in the wall and that he's
"turned off the water". I'm exhausted and nothing he says really means anything to me - I just need to sleep.

Tuesday 6:30am
Time to get ready for work - then it dawns on me...no water. So I call my landlord and ask him what to do, I have to get ready for work. He tells me to go out the back and knock on my neighbor back door then ask him to turn it on so I can get ready. I do this - nothing, no response. So I have to put on my coat/socks/shoes and go out the front...into the 3°F morning cold to bang on their front door. Part of the conversation goes like this:
6:45
Me: Can you turn the water on for 10-15min I need to get ready for work
Surly Neighbor: NO, I won't. It's flooded in there and there's enough damage.
Me: I need to shower/brush my teeth/have to go to work, just give me 10min.
Surly Neighbor: Nope, not going to turn it on
Me: (desperate now)can you turn it on for 3min so I can fill a couple buckets at least?
Surly Neighbor: get your buckets ready

So I dash back upstairs and simultaneously fill a couple buckets with hot water from the shower, 2 containers in the kitchen sink and brush my teeth. Then the water was gone. I had enough to bathe but didn't have time to regulate the water so it was much hotter than I normally bathe with - near scalding but better than no water or cold water I guess.

7:30am Landlord calls me to tell me to leave my back door open for my Surly Neighbor, b/c he's going to put in a shut-off for the hot water. whatever, needed to leave soon for work So I left it unlocked.

8pm I get home and find them about to leave - they've done a temp fix: put in a shut off and I have cold water but no hot water b/c that's what's causing the leaking downstairs.

Wednesday 6:30am
I boil water for my bath which is ok b/c at least it's a nice temperature, not too hot or cold.

I received several calls during the day from my landlord telling me of their plans to go in and do a permanent fix...they had to replace the piping/elbow joints from my apt to the pipes leading downstairs.

Another call @ 6pm - He informs me that they noticed another leak - when he turned on the tap in the kitchen, it was leaking from it's drain onto the bath rm floor under the sink. He says, "if you don't mind, could you not use the kitchen sink at all, we're going to come back Thur and try to put a temporary fix in." If I don't mind? If I don't mind? Not like I have a real choice.

A couple friends at work who I told offered me use of their spare rooms for as long as I needed. So I decided to go home, get an overnight bag to stay at T's for the night. Her husband was away for the week on business so I didn't feel too bad about imposing.

7pm - I get home, they've just started working. So I get my stuff and go over to T's. We get pizza, watch Idol. I slept really well all things considered.

Thursday
Got up at 6:30am and was actually ready to go @7:10am. Walk out to my car, guess what's on my windshield? A parking ticket written at 2am! A $50 parking ticket. So I look around and there's no sign posted anywhere near me on my side of the street. There is one on the opposite side of the street that is completely obscured except for the number 9. That's the only thing on it not erased. I just take it in and drive to work. The closest sign is maybe 150ft away. NO where near the house where I was parked. So I'm going to protest this ticket. It wasn't posted close enough. As I drove off I finally saw a sign at the intersection of the street and the main road "no parking mon-fri 12am-9am. It says this on both sides of the street. On a dead-end street. T was pretty upset and even offered to go halfs on the ticket-she felt so bad. I refused of course-not really her fault. She said they'd lived there 3 yrs and have people visit and park on the street and have never known anyone to get a ticket before. She'd never even noticed the "no parking" signs.
My consolation is that 2 other cars parked there also had tickets. The last time I got a parking ticket for parking on the wrong side in front my building, none of the other cars around me had tickets. That pissed me off. It was posted every 3 or 4 houses so I couldn't really say I didn't see the signs even though I didn't until after the fact.

6pm I call my landlord and ask if I can use the sink, he says they need another day so no using the kitchen sink yet. Not great but doable, not like I planned to cook anything Thurs night. Had grilled bacon/tomato/cheese sandwiches. They were really good.

How Normal Am I?

You Are 40% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

I just had to know...this also made me laugh :)

How Irish Am I?

You're 55% Irish

You're very Irish, and most likely from Ireland. (And if you're not, you should be!)

How Irish Are You?

This result made me laugh. Well, I have been to Ireland and I even have an Irish last name(well it's actually Scottish but close enough) so maybe not so farfetched as it seems :)

blog personality

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

What exactly does "sensing" mean? What? Like an instrument? I like the idea of being unique though.

not so invisible

Just when I thought that I was practically invisible...my (relatively new) cubicle is next to 3 other women who work on same project and talk mostly to each other, sometimes over and around me. It kinda makes me feel left out. Invisible. They don't know me so I don't blame them for not really including me in their conversations - most of which I don't have much interest in since mostly it's about their house/kids/husband.
Anyhoo, remember my funny calendar, I put it up at work and when it was March 1st I was so busy, I forgot to change it from February. As I sat down for lunch, they said, aren't you going to change it, we've been dying to see what it says for March? So I changed it and they weren't disappointed b/c it was really funny:

You're just jealous...because the voices only talk to me...

One even took a pic on her phone and said she was sending it to all her friends to make them laugh. It makes me smile every time I see it so why not share the joy? They also said that they couldn't wait for the next month to come around.
Kinda nice not be invisible.

when will it stop

I'm off advair for good. I'm never taking it again. After being on it for 4 days, I had tremors in my hands for most of the next two days. The 4th day - muscle spasms and severe cramps in my hands and feet. I had a difficult time getting to sleep that night b/c my toes kept twisting and sticking in that cramped position for minutes at a time and I just couldn't find a position that they didn't hurt. After about an hr of this it subsided a bit. So I stopped taking it. Since I stopped taking it - no more muscle spasms or cramps. I'm convinced that the advair is the cause specifically the salmeterol component of it. I've gone back on flovent. Haven't been to my doc since. I've had a hectic week at work, then with the snow and ice, just haven't had time to deal with it. To try to convince them that no, I'm not crazy...yes, the medication is causing this...no, I'm not making up the side effects...they are printed on the info packet listed as rarely occurring....rarely does not mean impossible. I also don't want them to put me on prednisone. I really do think I need antibiotics now. It seems like I've had this cold (infection?) for a month now. I don't think the asthma drugs are enough to take care of it. Only thing left now is for me to convince them of this.

I've started having nosebleeds again, not big ones yet. Usually when I try to blow my nose, blood clots come out. To take the allergy meds (rhinocort) I'm supposed to blow my nose first,then spray in each nostril. Haven't been able to take it all week b/c every time I blow...blood. My nasal passages are just really irritated so I have to give them a break.

I finally called my landlord about the unshoveled state of the sidewalk. He came over today and took care of it. He said that he's paid a couple kids who live on the street to do it but they've not touched it. Neither has the lazy man who lives next door in my building. My landlord also said he wished I'd told him sooner b/c I shouldn't have had to do it myself. Apparently I'm the only one who noticed and who can't a)walk on ice, or b)through 6 or more inches of packed snow or c) has a phone.
Whatever, dude.
I almost fell about 5 times trying to get to my car this morning. Last night I sanded our walkway and a bit of the driveway next door so I could get out to the street/my car. This morning, I went out to find that my moronic neighbor parked their stupid SUV right in front of the walkway. So I had no place to pass. All where I sanded...useless to me with their stupid car in the way. On the other side, ice sheets. I ended up squeezing past their stupid car and inching then jumping over the ice sheets on their unsanded/salted part of the sidewalk.

I'm officially tired of winter now.

I had to get my yearly inspection done before the end of Feb. I got a recommendation for a garage and went there on Mon evening ~520pm. My original appt was for 5pm but there was a lot of traffic and I didn't get out of work as early as I thought I would. Anyway, they didn't fuss. My inspection cost $269. Why? I needed new front tires. Apparently they were too 'bald' to pass inspection. The mechanic told me "I don't know how you use these tires last week in the snow, I don't know" Even his wife who handled my invoice said "I have never seen such bald tires." So I got new tires. Luckily I had my card and money in my account. She then said " now you can be safe out there". They're a cute middle-aged Russian couple. He told me "I could put these tires or these ones - the first are like sneakers and the others are like boots...I think you need the boots" I said "give me the boots then"
Yeah - obviously I need heavy duty tires if I could drive them down so low without noticing. They're all season and I did notice a difference in the feel of my car since I got them. At least there good now and I will pay attention to them more than I did before(meaning, I will actually look at them from time to time :)
Made to the gym once this week. Have not been feeling great and have also been a lazy bum. Got to get back on track though.

I brought this poinsettia plant home -they used a lot of them to decorate the church I go to and the Sunday before Ash Wed, they told us to take as many home as we liked b/c they had to move all the decorations for the Lenten season. So I brought one home. It's pretty. Since then I've noticed black flies randomly flying around. I kept wondering where the hell they were coming from. I also noticed a weird moldy smell whenever I sat at he computer. Today I found out that the smell, flies and poinsettia...all connected. Ack! I took a closer look and found maybe 6-7 flies flying around in the pot and there was also mold growing on the top of the soil where the dead leaves had fallen. So I bundled it all up in a trash bag and put it outside my back door. No trash pickup till Tues so I'll get rid of it then. I was very grossed out by this.

I feel like crap - back on advair again. Sadly. my doc thinks I need it. I don't know. I think I'm coming down with another cold. Like for the 3rd or 4th time for the year and it's not even March yet. The advair is in inhaler form now so hopefully I won't get as many of the side effects as I had before. My head hurts like there are jackhammers going off behind my eyes. My nose has been bleeding off and on today and my nose is clogged with blood. I can't blow it else it'll start bleeding actively again.When I saw my doc Wed, I didn't feel as bad as I do tonight. Sounded a bit congested though, partly why she changed me to the advair. She said she wanted me back on lower dose of flovent which is what's in the advair in addition to the long-acting bronchodilator serevent. The things I've read about serevent scares me. I try not to think about it too much though.
It's better than being on prednisone/which she told me was another possible alternative - oral steroids lead to much more exaggerated side effects than inhaled steroids.
I really have to just stop reading about it. And just take it and hope that I feel better soon. The tremors have started already and it's only been a couple days. Had to do several TLCs today and my hands kept shaking every so often.
I tylenol I took is finally starting to kick in - jackhammers have toned down to chopsticks drumming behind my eyes.
Whenever I go to the allergist's office, they take my vitals incl my weight and height - every time. I was wondering why they take my height, I'm way past the age of growing. So I asked and the nurse told me that many asthmatics eventually end up on prednisone long-term and it causes you to lose bone density and people start shrinking so they take your height so they have an ongoing monitor of it. How about that to look forward to? Hopefully I can manage without reaching that stage

I'm going to bed.

snow has finally stopped...fri at last

It seems like with every week that goes by, I keep looking for Fri. This is not normally the case. I usu can wait but recently, things have not been great, it's been really sucky sometimes and I can only wait for Fri. It's all I can do.
I've been feeling down and out most of the week, had a really bad night Mon, cried and cried and cried. For no specific thing...just everything seemed wrong and I just couldn't seem to shake it or stop. All I've been listening to lately is angry or sad music. Usually, my playlist is mixed and has some upbeat mixed in with the sad. The angry is usu good if I'm in a bad mood or while working out.

My playlist lately looked something like this:

The Carpenters "goodbye to love" and "i won't last a day without you" and of course "rainy days and mondays"
Three Days Grace "just like you" and "scared" and "home"
Avril Lavigne "slipped away"
The Cranberries "daffodil lament"
Don Henley "the heart of the matter"
Hootie & the Blowfish "goodbye"
Joni Mitchell "both sides now"-version from love actually soundtrack
"cora" from Last of the Mohican's soundtrack
Air Supply "here i am" and "i can wait forever"
Bryan Adams "do i have to say the words"
Backstreet Boys "safest place to hide"
Toni Braxton "i don't want to"
Smile Empty Soul "who i am"

many celtic songs including
...the lakes of Pontchartrain / benedy glen - Deanta
the curragh of kildare / john of dreams - Cherish the Ladies
sunlight on the water - Phil Coulter
the bantry girl's lament - Reeltime
darkness, darkness - Solas
skye boat song/mist covered mountains - Culture Ceildh Band

Tonight was the first night I've felt like something more upbeat. I felt really weird this week.

Something good today - my new group leader called me into her office today for a minute. I shipped out 4 compounds since I've been on the project, compounds they've been waiting on to test further b/c the initial results from them were promising. She wanted to congratulate me on getting them shipped. I was very pleased. Maybe I will have a chance to prove that I'm worth more than the things those bastards put in my evaluation. I'm not going to think of that now.

My back and shoulder and calves hurt like hell this week - with all the shoveling I did Wed (5 times) and Thurs morning again.

Wed night around 11pm, I started panicking b/c my car was stuck/parked on the wrong side of the street with our snow emergency in effect. I was suddenly afraid that I'd be towed. Especially since I was watching the local news and heard people talk of being towed. Luckily one of my neighbors was outside shoveling his walkway. He offered to help me dig my car out. it took us about 30min and we had to keep stopping every time there was a really strong wind gust. The kind that literally takes some breath away. He even helped me by pushing and giving me direction-go forward/reverse/turn right/reverse/etc - so that I could get onto the "road". Said "road" had about 4-5inches of snow/slush on it. My girl(that's my car :), she didn't like it at all. She grunted and spun her wheels.

After driving a couple blocks, still no parking in sight on the right side - my girl got stuck. Wouldn't move forward or back. I saw a couple college kids crossing in front of me - intent on sledding I think - if the sleds in their hands were anything to go by. They offered and tried pushing but still my girl just wouldn't go and I could smell rubber - not a good sign. Finally one of the girls tapped on my window - she told me that she could get it to move for me. I was so fed up by this time that I just got out and stood by while she got in the driver's seat. By that point I just didn't care. She got in and moved it in a flash. Unfortunately, she turned in the opposite direction of where I'd intended to go. She didn't realize that I wanted to go the other way. No matter, I said, and thanked them and her and just drove down that hill into a spot. Well it was almost a spot, much closer to the middle of the road than the side of the road but I didn't care at all by then. I then had to hike back the 4 blocks to my apt. Through the unplowed streets and sidewalks. I ran for some of the way b/c the wind was really fierce in addition to the below zero wind chill.

Thursday morning I had to walk the 4 blocks to my car with my handbag, lunch bag and shovel and snow brush just in case I needed them. So glad I left my shovel in my apt b/c I had to shovel my walkway to get out to the street. Also glad I took the shovel with me to my car b/c there was a good bit of snow stuck in front of the undercarriage and front wheels. Took me about 10min to get it dug out so not too bad. Then I prayed she would just go and she did. I almost got into an accident. Some silly old man opened his car door out wide just as I was going past his car. I started to swerve to avoid hitting the stupid man's door and my car started skidding. Luckily there weren't any other cars on the other side of the road else I would have been screwed.

still more snow

My unshoveled walkway


Shoveled walkway - sorta. I was able to see the ground briefly but it soon became snow-covered again

Never really shoveled a walkway before today - never had to. My landlord doesn't live on the premises so I'm not sure what he has organized to take care of that. I took some more pics and shoveled againup to the sidewalk in front my walkway. By the time I got to the sidewalk, my steps and walkway were covered in snow again. I did want to make a dent in it though b/c I'd like to be able to get to my car eventually.


Why is this crazy person out in this snow?...walking?...maybe getting food?...crazy!

snow pictures

The dips in snow around my car are the places I shoveled to try to clear it.


car close up


my steps/walkway 20min after I shoveled it


outside my front stoop - see how high the snow is in relation to the truck/SUV, my corolla has no chance - now I understand why people want SUV/trucks


my snow covered street

The garbage truck was coming up my street just as I was shoveling my walkway and one of the guys asked me if I would come over and shovel his walkway after I was done. Not a chance buddy! I took most of these pics from my front porch and my camera still got a little wet b/c the wind keeps blowing the snow everywhere. The snow keeps coming down and is expected to keep coming until 6am tomorrow.

the snow is here to stay

Stayed home today - already 6-7" snow out there but that's not why. I removed the snow from my car and even tried to shovel some of it from around my car but after beign out there for 20min my fingers were too numb to function and my car still wouldn't budge. There was about a foot piled up behind my car and about half a foot in front of it. I just called in and told them I was taking the day off. I went back ot there for another 20min and shovel my walkway and around my car. I was able to move it finally. I wanted to get it mostly clear b/c with the snow emergency in effect, I have to move my car to the other side of the street by 8pm tonight. Can't move it to the other side now b/c there's too much snow pileup on that side of the road. I hope the plows come through and clear the snow else I don't know where I can move my car to. At it's moving now though :).
I need some serious winter gloves b/c the wind chill is -8°F out there and that's no joke. My fingers felt like they had frostbite. I could barely get my gloves off the first I went out there this morning. I'm having a leisurely breakfast now. I'm going back out in a bit, maybe take some pictures.
It's still snowing and they expect it to get more intense for the rest of the day. Yay?

snow snow snow

I'm excited for the snow storm that's coming. I'm also kinda dreading it b/c I will be expected at work regardless. The only way they cancel work is if the power goes out...a rarity.

I'm going to bed soon b/c I need to be up early to shovel out my car if necessary. Also need to get an early start to avoid the crazies on the road who drive like condition are perfect regardless of how much slush/ice is on the road.

I skipped the gym tonight, it was just too cold (currently it's 9°F, wind chill 0°F). I wanted to get home early to get a decent parking spot.

Instead of boxing class at the gym, I did 20min of this kickboxing video I bought a while ago. When I first tried it, it seemed impossible and I couldn't keep up/follow her moves. But tonight I was able to keep up with most of it. I'm very sore now though - she did this drop down push-up thing that looked impossible at first. I tried it and found it was possible - my hip really aches now though so I don't know how great an idea it was to try it. I feel really good about being able to do it - finally! Plus I'm glad I didn't totally wig out on my exercise for the night.
Even made it to yoga on Mon - lots of aches/pain during. I think I've been away from it for so long that I've lost most of the flexibility I gained from it.
Time for bed.

I love mozilla firefox. Why? Cooliris for one thing - I love being able to see tons of other pages real quick just by gliding the mouse over the link. I also love the remembering passwords feature.
Took a little while to get used to the whole-tabbed browsing thing but now it's great. I can open all the blogs I read with one click. How cool is that?

Compulsive breakers - these are the drivers who break for no reason at all...there's no car in front of them, there's no stop sign...yet they break every few seconds like they have some kind of tic or something. What is wrong with them? I saw one tonight who kept breaking for no reason every few seconds, then he sailed right through the stop sign. This is beyond my understanding.

Books 2007

Not all the books I've read this year but only the ones I really enjoyed...

1. It's Not You, It's Me...Alison Rushby

2. I Hunger For You...Susan Sizemore

3. I Thirst For You...Susan Sizemore

4. Master of Darkness...Susan Sizemore (best one from Sizemore)

5. You Don't Know Jack...Erin McCarthy

6. A Taste of Darkness...Nina Bangs

7. I'm In No Mood For Love...Rachel Gibson

8. Scarlett...Cathy Cassidy

9. Atlas of the 20th Century History...Richard Overy

10. Salaam, Paris...Kavita Daswani

11. Indigo Blue...Cathy Cassidy

12. Just For Kicks...Susan Andersen

13. In Plain Sight...Tara Taylor Quinn

14. Abstract Painting, Concepts and Techniques...Vicky Perry

15. Dizzy...Cathy Cassidy

16. My Pet Virus...Shawn Decker

17. Hello Gorgeous...Mary Janice Davidson

18. Paths to the absolute: Mondrain et al...John Golding

19. Rogue's Salute...Jennifer Blake

20. Causing Havoc...Lori Foster

21. The Kept Woman...Susan Donovan

22. I Burn For You...Susan Sizemore

23. Somebody's Hero...Marilyn Pappano

24. Cold As Ice...Anne Stuart

25. Icing On The Cake...Laura Castoro

26. Extreme Bachelor...Julia London

27. The Perils of Persuing a Prince...Julie London

28. Sleepless in Savannah...Rita Herron

29. Natural Born Charmer...Susan Elizabeth Phillips

30. For a Few Demons More...Kim Harrison

31.Real Women Don't Wear a Size 2...Kelley St. John

32. Pushing 30...Whitney Gaskell

33. Desire After Dark...Amanda Ashley

34. Virgin River...Robyn Carr

35. Shelter Mountain...Robyn Carr

36. Blameless...Thom Lemmons (reading)

37. Whispering Rock...Robyn Carr

38. Never Too Late...Robyn Carr

39. Wicked Fantasy...Nina Bangs

40. Smitten...Janet Evanovich

41. Simon Says...Lori Foster

42. The Way Life Should Be...Christina Baker Cline

43. Steps Through The Mist...Zovan Zivkovic

salsa, the perfect snack

Salsa is the perfect snack. It goes well with so many different chips and fruit. I've been adding fruit to my fav brand of salsa and I haven't been sorry yet. It makes it even more delicious. Tonight I had avocado salsa. This salsa is chunky and tastes really fresh - it has to be refrigerated - it calls itself "premium fresh salsa" and that is no lie. I always get the 'medium'. Mild is too bland and Hot is a bit much for me. Medium's got just enough of a kick. I've added mango - both ripe and half-ripe - both really good. Papaya's my favorite but it has to be almost ripe (fun fact, trinis say pah-paw not papaya :). I don't care for half-ripe/green papaya though I do enjoy green/half-ripe mango.

this week

This post is not entirely coherent, but I've decided not to fix all the errors like I normally would - getting it all out was cathartic so I'm just going to leave it at that.


I nearly had a fit just now - freaking spammers. I check my spam box regularly to make sure real email doesn't get lost/deleted if mistakenly sent there. I really need to just delete stuff I don't recognize instead of opening. Occasionally I have found legitimate email in there but most of the time it's spam. Tonight I saw an email supposedly from mcafee. So I click on it and it says that they've just billed my $78 for my renewal. I started to panic - thinking that I don't have that money right now and I hope it doesn't come out of an a/c I closed. Then I got a little mad thinking that they would just automatically renew without my direct say-so. I never authorized them to renew automatically so I was pissed that they'd try. So then I frantically call their phone help line - closed for the day until 6am tomorrow. Now I'm really panicky. Then I think that Maybe I should log into my account and check to see when my actual renewal date is. So luckily I don't click any of the links in the email (at least I'm smart enough no to do that). I go to my account and find that my renewal is not due until 2nd week in March. So now I'm certain it was sent for some nefarious purpose. I look at the email again (much calmer now) and notice that they have a date, my full name and an amt paid but no card numbers. They always have the last 4 digits of your card number. Huge sigh of relief.
Life lesson here: do not open spam! do not open suspect email! do not believe suspect email is real!

This week has been long but I've managed to get through most of it. The exercise is the only thing keeping me sane. The more I exercise the better I feel. Boy did I need the extra endorphin boost this week.

Mon - yearly evaluation...in a word...demoralizing. I don't want to talk about it. I only spoke to one friend about some of the details and I just want to forget about it now. It just left me feeling depressed and I realized that I will never get promoted. I thought my last boss was the best one I've had so far but he let/allowed our group leader to add some things that were mostly true but there were extenuating circumstances that he omitted. The result is that I can't deny what's written but to has a great year of work on just that without explaining anything...I just look incompetent...after 4 1/2 yrs of being there. My only consolation if that they haven't fired/issued warning/put me on probation. So maybe the upper managers will look at all the other evaluations I've had and realize that there must be some sort of discrepancy b/c surely such things would have been noted before if they were absolutely true. So with all those thoughts in my head, I had to go to the gym. I felt it would be the only thing that would help me take my mind off it. And it did help. I did weights then 45min cardio. This was a little too much at once I think b/c I hurt by the time I was done. But it at least it was body soreness and not heart-soreness.

Tues - boxing. That girl who really irritated me last week, still a weirdo but I'm less annoyed by her this week. Progress?

Wed - no gym, had Chinese takeout for dinner, my first of the year.

Tonight - weights then boxing. I feel really energized now.

My new project is going well. I'm getting my 1st product shipped out and I have 3 more that will go out soon. I have to take more of an initiative with this project/my new supervisor. It's new for me b/c I used to supervisor wanting to more or less dictate my day. This way I have to make more decisions on my own...not a bad thing. I felt really isolated when i first moved to my current lab but now I'm feeling more at home.

I've decided to make a commitment to exercising 4-5 days a week. I don't have a weight goal in mind per se. I would of course like to get rid of my love handles/backfat. I also want to reduce my BMI by 4 or 5 points. How likely is this? I'm not sure. I was talking to one of the ladies in boxing class and I told her "I work out so that I can eat what I want". This is basically true. I do try to stop eating before I realize I'm full. I eat when I'm hungry which works out to be ~5 times a day. This works when I do it. I usu forget to eat something around 4pm b/c I'm usu in the middle of stuff in the lab. tonight it was 5pm before I realized that I hadn't eaten. Not good since tonight was gym night. So I stopped and had bag of pretzels - the only low fat/low calorie food in our vending machine. I don't like to eat too close to my workout b/c I end feeling really ill once I start moving around. It was too bad but I did feel a little sick during my weights routine. I was fine by 7pm/boxing class so that was the main thing.

Tonight during my weight routine I saw my friend P. Well he's not really my friend exactly, he's a guy at the gym who works out usu on the same days I do. He and I often have a quick chat, sometimes I go over to the machine he's on and chat or he comes over to mine. He's a cute guy. I think he's gay though i'm not certain. Well as of tonight I'm not certain. He spoke to me more than usu and even let me listen to the tunes he was working out to. We also had kind of a flirty converstion.
Anyhoo, my friend G from boxing asked - so...who's the guy?
Me - what guy? oh that guy, he's just a guy I talk to here
G - hmmm, just a guy, I saw you two tonight and he seemed like more than just a guy
me - really? hmmm. maybe I should ask him out for drinks sometime?
G - definitely, he's very cute, you're both young, why shouldn't you?

Yeah well, I don't know. I could suggest it and if he is gay, then maybe I have a new friend and if he's not...who knows, maybe more. I've actually thought about asking him to hang out before b/c he seems like a really cool and interesting guy. And he's funny. I gleaned all this from our 5min conversations during our workouts. We don't always chat, mostly we just wave and smile. He's got these in his ears and quite frankly, they scare me a little. My ears aren't even pierced ordinarily so I cannot really understand why anyone would want such huge holes in their ears. I try not to look at them. To each his own I guess.

friday at last

The Nightguard stayed in my mouth all night and was much more comfortable (well as comfortable as having a piece of plastic in your mouth can be) than the one I'd used befor - it would fall out several times during the night or become dislodged and wake me up.

We had flurries tonight. SO much that I had to brush the slush off my car. Left work later than I wanted to and by that time it was really coming down. I was supposed to go over to C&Ts for dinner and Wii gaming but was thinking of bailing on the drive home b/c it was not very pleasant outside. Then I couldn't figure out what to have for dinner. Or what to watch on tv or if I should get a movie. So I went home, took my night meds and went over. They live 5 min from me, 2 by car when the conditions are perfect so I figured it shouldn't be too bad coming back home. I'm glad I went b/c I had a nutritious dinner-avocado salad with grilled steak topped with freshly made lemon-mustard dressing. It was delicious. T's on Atkins for a while. Then I played on the Wii with C for 3hrs. My arms are sore. First I made an avatar and that was very fun. then we played boxing, bowling, tennis and baseball. The boxing was fun and I knocked him out several times and won :) I didn't like the tennis very much, it was too confusing since you have to play doubles and it was actually true to life - in real tennis, I can serve no problem, I just can't volley. The baseball wa fun but only when it was my turn to pitch. I couldn't hit anything. the best was the bowling - highest score ever. I even beat C once. At midnight we decided to call it a night.

It's finally stopped snowing out and the neighborhood's very pretty. I love it when it midnight and the sky is so cloudy that it seems light outside. You can really see all the houses clearly. They're all snow-covered and there's a dusting all over the trees and ground. Wish I had my camera with me b/c I'd have pulled over and gotten some shots. My windows don't look out at anything cool anymore. All I can see are the windows of the houses on either side. I miss the great views I had from my old apt.

I am, of course, still too wired for sleep so I figured I might as well read some blogs. Going to bed soon b/c have much to do Sat. Hair appt at 11am then oil change/new wipers for my car. Then have to get a few groceries for party later - wine & cheese thing, should be fun. I'm hoping I can bum a ride there with E. Have to call tomorrow and ask but I'm pretty sure she won't mind. that way if I want to drink/taste more I can safely do so and just sleepover.

mixed bag

Long day. I miss my old group. I'm not part of it anymore and I know this b/c when I go visit, the jokes are often on me instead of about others for us all to enjoy :(
My new group is ok. I'm friends with one of the girls and she's cool. The other's are ok but they are still...the others. I don't feel comfortable with them. At least not comfortable enough to joke around in the same way I was able to in my old lab.
Also, I've been working 1-2hrs more a day on average than I did in my old group. Even though I've also been getting to work 20-30min earlier than I used to. It's 5pm and they are all there chit-chatting, as if it were 2pm. Bizarre, no?

My stuff is ready for me to prep to ship-1st compound out, Yay! I have a couple others that should also be ready soon. Good news. I've decided that I need to give my new supervisor as little info as possible, ask him as few questions as possible. this can work b/c he's in the adjoining lab and they are others in my lab who are working/have worked on similar targets. So at least I can go to them for some advice. He does not know how to give general advice. He keeps focusing on shit that I know or have figured out already...4 years ago. So my new plan of action is: just do/don't ask unless absolutely necessary.
I used to have this saying that I said for the general amusement of my friends whenever they asked me about my job:

Drones don't think. Drones don't ask. Drones just do. I'm a happy drone.

So now I'm going to just be a happy drone.

Went to gym tonight after much deliberation with myself...went to the library, wandered around in there for a while. forgot my watch so couldn't keep track of the time. Left and went out to the car. still had more than enough time to get to the gym for class, so I figured I might as well go. I was really worn out after it all. I'm a bit sore now. That's what I get for being a lazy bum and not going to the gym for 2 weeks. My treat for making it to the gym...probably negated all the work I did tonight...buffalo chicken kickers/garlic bread from Domino's. I love Dominos.

What I really wanted tonight was Mallowmars but I didn't realize this until I was 2min from my apt so that's when I thought of Dominos instead.

At the dentist office: i love my dental hygienist. She very pleasant and always compliments me on my regular flossing. My dentist did some filing/polishing on my teeth to help improve "my bite" which he thinks was most likely causing some of the sensitivity I was having. Main reason though - I'm probably grinding my teeth at night b/c of all the recent stress. So he suggested I get Nightguard and see if that helps. I do have a history of teeth-grinding that I only know of b/c when I was visiting my sis, she said it woke her up...she insisted I wear the Nightguard thing. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've had to use. I hated it.

A fitted nightguard from the dentist cost ~$300. Way out of my budget and my insurance doesn't cover it so I got one from CVS tonight. It's a different brand or at least looks different and seems like it'll be more comfortable as it can be molded to my teeth. Still looks weird though, not that I have to worry about anyone looking at me-who knew living alone could be a blessing.