snow has finally stopped...fri at last

It seems like with every week that goes by, I keep looking for Fri. This is not normally the case. I usu can wait but recently, things have not been great, it's been really sucky sometimes and I can only wait for Fri. It's all I can do.
I've been feeling down and out most of the week, had a really bad night Mon, cried and cried and cried. For no specific thing...just everything seemed wrong and I just couldn't seem to shake it or stop. All I've been listening to lately is angry or sad music. Usually, my playlist is mixed and has some upbeat mixed in with the sad. The angry is usu good if I'm in a bad mood or while working out.

My playlist lately looked something like this:

The Carpenters "goodbye to love" and "i won't last a day without you" and of course "rainy days and mondays"
Three Days Grace "just like you" and "scared" and "home"
Avril Lavigne "slipped away"
The Cranberries "daffodil lament"
Don Henley "the heart of the matter"
Hootie & the Blowfish "goodbye"
Joni Mitchell "both sides now"-version from love actually soundtrack
"cora" from Last of the Mohican's soundtrack
Air Supply "here i am" and "i can wait forever"
Bryan Adams "do i have to say the words"
Backstreet Boys "safest place to hide"
Toni Braxton "i don't want to"
Smile Empty Soul "who i am"

many celtic songs including
...the lakes of Pontchartrain / benedy glen - Deanta
the curragh of kildare / john of dreams - Cherish the Ladies
sunlight on the water - Phil Coulter
the bantry girl's lament - Reeltime
darkness, darkness - Solas
skye boat song/mist covered mountains - Culture Ceildh Band

Tonight was the first night I've felt like something more upbeat. I felt really weird this week.

Something good today - my new group leader called me into her office today for a minute. I shipped out 4 compounds since I've been on the project, compounds they've been waiting on to test further b/c the initial results from them were promising. She wanted to congratulate me on getting them shipped. I was very pleased. Maybe I will have a chance to prove that I'm worth more than the things those bastards put in my evaluation. I'm not going to think of that now.

My back and shoulder and calves hurt like hell this week - with all the shoveling I did Wed (5 times) and Thurs morning again.

Wed night around 11pm, I started panicking b/c my car was stuck/parked on the wrong side of the street with our snow emergency in effect. I was suddenly afraid that I'd be towed. Especially since I was watching the local news and heard people talk of being towed. Luckily one of my neighbors was outside shoveling his walkway. He offered to help me dig my car out. it took us about 30min and we had to keep stopping every time there was a really strong wind gust. The kind that literally takes some breath away. He even helped me by pushing and giving me direction-go forward/reverse/turn right/reverse/etc - so that I could get onto the "road". Said "road" had about 4-5inches of snow/slush on it. My girl(that's my car :), she didn't like it at all. She grunted and spun her wheels.

After driving a couple blocks, still no parking in sight on the right side - my girl got stuck. Wouldn't move forward or back. I saw a couple college kids crossing in front of me - intent on sledding I think - if the sleds in their hands were anything to go by. They offered and tried pushing but still my girl just wouldn't go and I could smell rubber - not a good sign. Finally one of the girls tapped on my window - she told me that she could get it to move for me. I was so fed up by this time that I just got out and stood by while she got in the driver's seat. By that point I just didn't care. She got in and moved it in a flash. Unfortunately, she turned in the opposite direction of where I'd intended to go. She didn't realize that I wanted to go the other way. No matter, I said, and thanked them and her and just drove down that hill into a spot. Well it was almost a spot, much closer to the middle of the road than the side of the road but I didn't care at all by then. I then had to hike back the 4 blocks to my apt. Through the unplowed streets and sidewalks. I ran for some of the way b/c the wind was really fierce in addition to the below zero wind chill.

Thursday morning I had to walk the 4 blocks to my car with my handbag, lunch bag and shovel and snow brush just in case I needed them. So glad I left my shovel in my apt b/c I had to shovel my walkway to get out to the street. Also glad I took the shovel with me to my car b/c there was a good bit of snow stuck in front of the undercarriage and front wheels. Took me about 10min to get it dug out so not too bad. Then I prayed she would just go and she did. I almost got into an accident. Some silly old man opened his car door out wide just as I was going past his car. I started to swerve to avoid hitting the stupid man's door and my car started skidding. Luckily there weren't any other cars on the other side of the road else I would have been screwed.

still more snow

My unshoveled walkway


Shoveled walkway - sorta. I was able to see the ground briefly but it soon became snow-covered again

Never really shoveled a walkway before today - never had to. My landlord doesn't live on the premises so I'm not sure what he has organized to take care of that. I took some more pics and shoveled againup to the sidewalk in front my walkway. By the time I got to the sidewalk, my steps and walkway were covered in snow again. I did want to make a dent in it though b/c I'd like to be able to get to my car eventually.


Why is this crazy person out in this snow?...walking?...maybe getting food?...crazy!

snow pictures

The dips in snow around my car are the places I shoveled to try to clear it.


car close up


my steps/walkway 20min after I shoveled it


outside my front stoop - see how high the snow is in relation to the truck/SUV, my corolla has no chance - now I understand why people want SUV/trucks


my snow covered street

The garbage truck was coming up my street just as I was shoveling my walkway and one of the guys asked me if I would come over and shovel his walkway after I was done. Not a chance buddy! I took most of these pics from my front porch and my camera still got a little wet b/c the wind keeps blowing the snow everywhere. The snow keeps coming down and is expected to keep coming until 6am tomorrow.

the snow is here to stay

Stayed home today - already 6-7" snow out there but that's not why. I removed the snow from my car and even tried to shovel some of it from around my car but after beign out there for 20min my fingers were too numb to function and my car still wouldn't budge. There was about a foot piled up behind my car and about half a foot in front of it. I just called in and told them I was taking the day off. I went back ot there for another 20min and shovel my walkway and around my car. I was able to move it finally. I wanted to get it mostly clear b/c with the snow emergency in effect, I have to move my car to the other side of the street by 8pm tonight. Can't move it to the other side now b/c there's too much snow pileup on that side of the road. I hope the plows come through and clear the snow else I don't know where I can move my car to. At it's moving now though :).
I need some serious winter gloves b/c the wind chill is -8°F out there and that's no joke. My fingers felt like they had frostbite. I could barely get my gloves off the first I went out there this morning. I'm having a leisurely breakfast now. I'm going back out in a bit, maybe take some pictures.
It's still snowing and they expect it to get more intense for the rest of the day. Yay?

snow snow snow

I'm excited for the snow storm that's coming. I'm also kinda dreading it b/c I will be expected at work regardless. The only way they cancel work is if the power goes out...a rarity.

I'm going to bed soon b/c I need to be up early to shovel out my car if necessary. Also need to get an early start to avoid the crazies on the road who drive like condition are perfect regardless of how much slush/ice is on the road.

I skipped the gym tonight, it was just too cold (currently it's 9°F, wind chill 0°F). I wanted to get home early to get a decent parking spot.

Instead of boxing class at the gym, I did 20min of this kickboxing video I bought a while ago. When I first tried it, it seemed impossible and I couldn't keep up/follow her moves. But tonight I was able to keep up with most of it. I'm very sore now though - she did this drop down push-up thing that looked impossible at first. I tried it and found it was possible - my hip really aches now though so I don't know how great an idea it was to try it. I feel really good about being able to do it - finally! Plus I'm glad I didn't totally wig out on my exercise for the night.
Even made it to yoga on Mon - lots of aches/pain during. I think I've been away from it for so long that I've lost most of the flexibility I gained from it.
Time for bed.

I love mozilla firefox. Why? Cooliris for one thing - I love being able to see tons of other pages real quick just by gliding the mouse over the link. I also love the remembering passwords feature.
Took a little while to get used to the whole-tabbed browsing thing but now it's great. I can open all the blogs I read with one click. How cool is that?

Compulsive breakers - these are the drivers who break for no reason at all...there's no car in front of them, there's no stop sign...yet they break every few seconds like they have some kind of tic or something. What is wrong with them? I saw one tonight who kept breaking for no reason every few seconds, then he sailed right through the stop sign. This is beyond my understanding.

Books 2007

Not all the books I've read this year but only the ones I really enjoyed...

1. It's Not You, It's Me...Alison Rushby

2. I Hunger For You...Susan Sizemore

3. I Thirst For You...Susan Sizemore

4. Master of Darkness...Susan Sizemore (best one from Sizemore)

5. You Don't Know Jack...Erin McCarthy

6. A Taste of Darkness...Nina Bangs

7. I'm In No Mood For Love...Rachel Gibson

8. Scarlett...Cathy Cassidy

9. Atlas of the 20th Century History...Richard Overy

10. Salaam, Paris...Kavita Daswani

11. Indigo Blue...Cathy Cassidy

12. Just For Kicks...Susan Andersen

13. In Plain Sight...Tara Taylor Quinn

14. Abstract Painting, Concepts and Techniques...Vicky Perry

15. Dizzy...Cathy Cassidy

16. My Pet Virus...Shawn Decker

17. Hello Gorgeous...Mary Janice Davidson

18. Paths to the absolute: Mondrain et al...John Golding

19. Rogue's Salute...Jennifer Blake

20. Causing Havoc...Lori Foster

21. The Kept Woman...Susan Donovan

22. I Burn For You...Susan Sizemore

23. Somebody's Hero...Marilyn Pappano

24. Cold As Ice...Anne Stuart

25. Icing On The Cake...Laura Castoro

26. Extreme Bachelor...Julia London

27. The Perils of Persuing a Prince...Julie London

28. Sleepless in Savannah...Rita Herron

29. Natural Born Charmer...Susan Elizabeth Phillips

30. For a Few Demons More...Kim Harrison

31.Real Women Don't Wear a Size 2...Kelley St. John

32. Pushing 30...Whitney Gaskell

33. Desire After Dark...Amanda Ashley

34. Virgin River...Robyn Carr

35. Shelter Mountain...Robyn Carr

36. Blameless...Thom Lemmons (reading)

37. Whispering Rock...Robyn Carr

38. Never Too Late...Robyn Carr

39. Wicked Fantasy...Nina Bangs

40. Smitten...Janet Evanovich

41. Simon Says...Lori Foster

42. The Way Life Should Be...Christina Baker Cline

43. Steps Through The Mist...Zovan Zivkovic

salsa, the perfect snack

Salsa is the perfect snack. It goes well with so many different chips and fruit. I've been adding fruit to my fav brand of salsa and I haven't been sorry yet. It makes it even more delicious. Tonight I had avocado salsa. This salsa is chunky and tastes really fresh - it has to be refrigerated - it calls itself "premium fresh salsa" and that is no lie. I always get the 'medium'. Mild is too bland and Hot is a bit much for me. Medium's got just enough of a kick. I've added mango - both ripe and half-ripe - both really good. Papaya's my favorite but it has to be almost ripe (fun fact, trinis say pah-paw not papaya :). I don't care for half-ripe/green papaya though I do enjoy green/half-ripe mango.

this week

This post is not entirely coherent, but I've decided not to fix all the errors like I normally would - getting it all out was cathartic so I'm just going to leave it at that.


I nearly had a fit just now - freaking spammers. I check my spam box regularly to make sure real email doesn't get lost/deleted if mistakenly sent there. I really need to just delete stuff I don't recognize instead of opening. Occasionally I have found legitimate email in there but most of the time it's spam. Tonight I saw an email supposedly from mcafee. So I click on it and it says that they've just billed my $78 for my renewal. I started to panic - thinking that I don't have that money right now and I hope it doesn't come out of an a/c I closed. Then I got a little mad thinking that they would just automatically renew without my direct say-so. I never authorized them to renew automatically so I was pissed that they'd try. So then I frantically call their phone help line - closed for the day until 6am tomorrow. Now I'm really panicky. Then I think that Maybe I should log into my account and check to see when my actual renewal date is. So luckily I don't click any of the links in the email (at least I'm smart enough no to do that). I go to my account and find that my renewal is not due until 2nd week in March. So now I'm certain it was sent for some nefarious purpose. I look at the email again (much calmer now) and notice that they have a date, my full name and an amt paid but no card numbers. They always have the last 4 digits of your card number. Huge sigh of relief.
Life lesson here: do not open spam! do not open suspect email! do not believe suspect email is real!

This week has been long but I've managed to get through most of it. The exercise is the only thing keeping me sane. The more I exercise the better I feel. Boy did I need the extra endorphin boost this week.

Mon - yearly evaluation...in a word...demoralizing. I don't want to talk about it. I only spoke to one friend about some of the details and I just want to forget about it now. It just left me feeling depressed and I realized that I will never get promoted. I thought my last boss was the best one I've had so far but he let/allowed our group leader to add some things that were mostly true but there were extenuating circumstances that he omitted. The result is that I can't deny what's written but to has a great year of work on just that without explaining anything...I just look incompetent...after 4 1/2 yrs of being there. My only consolation if that they haven't fired/issued warning/put me on probation. So maybe the upper managers will look at all the other evaluations I've had and realize that there must be some sort of discrepancy b/c surely such things would have been noted before if they were absolutely true. So with all those thoughts in my head, I had to go to the gym. I felt it would be the only thing that would help me take my mind off it. And it did help. I did weights then 45min cardio. This was a little too much at once I think b/c I hurt by the time I was done. But it at least it was body soreness and not heart-soreness.

Tues - boxing. That girl who really irritated me last week, still a weirdo but I'm less annoyed by her this week. Progress?

Wed - no gym, had Chinese takeout for dinner, my first of the year.

Tonight - weights then boxing. I feel really energized now.

My new project is going well. I'm getting my 1st product shipped out and I have 3 more that will go out soon. I have to take more of an initiative with this project/my new supervisor. It's new for me b/c I used to supervisor wanting to more or less dictate my day. This way I have to make more decisions on my own...not a bad thing. I felt really isolated when i first moved to my current lab but now I'm feeling more at home.

I've decided to make a commitment to exercising 4-5 days a week. I don't have a weight goal in mind per se. I would of course like to get rid of my love handles/backfat. I also want to reduce my BMI by 4 or 5 points. How likely is this? I'm not sure. I was talking to one of the ladies in boxing class and I told her "I work out so that I can eat what I want". This is basically true. I do try to stop eating before I realize I'm full. I eat when I'm hungry which works out to be ~5 times a day. This works when I do it. I usu forget to eat something around 4pm b/c I'm usu in the middle of stuff in the lab. tonight it was 5pm before I realized that I hadn't eaten. Not good since tonight was gym night. So I stopped and had bag of pretzels - the only low fat/low calorie food in our vending machine. I don't like to eat too close to my workout b/c I end feeling really ill once I start moving around. It was too bad but I did feel a little sick during my weights routine. I was fine by 7pm/boxing class so that was the main thing.

Tonight during my weight routine I saw my friend P. Well he's not really my friend exactly, he's a guy at the gym who works out usu on the same days I do. He and I often have a quick chat, sometimes I go over to the machine he's on and chat or he comes over to mine. He's a cute guy. I think he's gay though i'm not certain. Well as of tonight I'm not certain. He spoke to me more than usu and even let me listen to the tunes he was working out to. We also had kind of a flirty converstion.
Anyhoo, my friend G from boxing asked - so...who's the guy?
Me - what guy? oh that guy, he's just a guy I talk to here
G - hmmm, just a guy, I saw you two tonight and he seemed like more than just a guy
me - really? hmmm. maybe I should ask him out for drinks sometime?
G - definitely, he's very cute, you're both young, why shouldn't you?

Yeah well, I don't know. I could suggest it and if he is gay, then maybe I have a new friend and if he's not...who knows, maybe more. I've actually thought about asking him to hang out before b/c he seems like a really cool and interesting guy. And he's funny. I gleaned all this from our 5min conversations during our workouts. We don't always chat, mostly we just wave and smile. He's got these in his ears and quite frankly, they scare me a little. My ears aren't even pierced ordinarily so I cannot really understand why anyone would want such huge holes in their ears. I try not to look at them. To each his own I guess.

friday at last

The Nightguard stayed in my mouth all night and was much more comfortable (well as comfortable as having a piece of plastic in your mouth can be) than the one I'd used befor - it would fall out several times during the night or become dislodged and wake me up.

We had flurries tonight. SO much that I had to brush the slush off my car. Left work later than I wanted to and by that time it was really coming down. I was supposed to go over to C&Ts for dinner and Wii gaming but was thinking of bailing on the drive home b/c it was not very pleasant outside. Then I couldn't figure out what to have for dinner. Or what to watch on tv or if I should get a movie. So I went home, took my night meds and went over. They live 5 min from me, 2 by car when the conditions are perfect so I figured it shouldn't be too bad coming back home. I'm glad I went b/c I had a nutritious dinner-avocado salad with grilled steak topped with freshly made lemon-mustard dressing. It was delicious. T's on Atkins for a while. Then I played on the Wii with C for 3hrs. My arms are sore. First I made an avatar and that was very fun. then we played boxing, bowling, tennis and baseball. The boxing was fun and I knocked him out several times and won :) I didn't like the tennis very much, it was too confusing since you have to play doubles and it was actually true to life - in real tennis, I can serve no problem, I just can't volley. The baseball wa fun but only when it was my turn to pitch. I couldn't hit anything. the best was the bowling - highest score ever. I even beat C once. At midnight we decided to call it a night.

It's finally stopped snowing out and the neighborhood's very pretty. I love it when it midnight and the sky is so cloudy that it seems light outside. You can really see all the houses clearly. They're all snow-covered and there's a dusting all over the trees and ground. Wish I had my camera with me b/c I'd have pulled over and gotten some shots. My windows don't look out at anything cool anymore. All I can see are the windows of the houses on either side. I miss the great views I had from my old apt.

I am, of course, still too wired for sleep so I figured I might as well read some blogs. Going to bed soon b/c have much to do Sat. Hair appt at 11am then oil change/new wipers for my car. Then have to get a few groceries for party later - wine & cheese thing, should be fun. I'm hoping I can bum a ride there with E. Have to call tomorrow and ask but I'm pretty sure she won't mind. that way if I want to drink/taste more I can safely do so and just sleepover.

mixed bag

Long day. I miss my old group. I'm not part of it anymore and I know this b/c when I go visit, the jokes are often on me instead of about others for us all to enjoy :(
My new group is ok. I'm friends with one of the girls and she's cool. The other's are ok but they are still...the others. I don't feel comfortable with them. At least not comfortable enough to joke around in the same way I was able to in my old lab.
Also, I've been working 1-2hrs more a day on average than I did in my old group. Even though I've also been getting to work 20-30min earlier than I used to. It's 5pm and they are all there chit-chatting, as if it were 2pm. Bizarre, no?

My stuff is ready for me to prep to ship-1st compound out, Yay! I have a couple others that should also be ready soon. Good news. I've decided that I need to give my new supervisor as little info as possible, ask him as few questions as possible. this can work b/c he's in the adjoining lab and they are others in my lab who are working/have worked on similar targets. So at least I can go to them for some advice. He does not know how to give general advice. He keeps focusing on shit that I know or have figured out already...4 years ago. So my new plan of action is: just do/don't ask unless absolutely necessary.
I used to have this saying that I said for the general amusement of my friends whenever they asked me about my job:

Drones don't think. Drones don't ask. Drones just do. I'm a happy drone.

So now I'm going to just be a happy drone.

Went to gym tonight after much deliberation with myself...went to the library, wandered around in there for a while. forgot my watch so couldn't keep track of the time. Left and went out to the car. still had more than enough time to get to the gym for class, so I figured I might as well go. I was really worn out after it all. I'm a bit sore now. That's what I get for being a lazy bum and not going to the gym for 2 weeks. My treat for making it to the gym...probably negated all the work I did tonight...buffalo chicken kickers/garlic bread from Domino's. I love Dominos.

What I really wanted tonight was Mallowmars but I didn't realize this until I was 2min from my apt so that's when I thought of Dominos instead.

At the dentist office: i love my dental hygienist. She very pleasant and always compliments me on my regular flossing. My dentist did some filing/polishing on my teeth to help improve "my bite" which he thinks was most likely causing some of the sensitivity I was having. Main reason though - I'm probably grinding my teeth at night b/c of all the recent stress. So he suggested I get Nightguard and see if that helps. I do have a history of teeth-grinding that I only know of b/c when I was visiting my sis, she said it woke her up...she insisted I wear the Nightguard thing. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've had to use. I hated it.

A fitted nightguard from the dentist cost ~$300. Way out of my budget and my insurance doesn't cover it so I got one from CVS tonight. It's a different brand or at least looks different and seems like it'll be more comfortable as it can be molded to my teeth. Still looks weird though, not that I have to worry about anyone looking at me-who knew living alone could be a blessing.

chocolate

Right now, I could really go for a ritter sport. It's dark chocolate with whole hazelnuts...German chocolate...yum-my! It's my favorite of the moment. It's 210 calories per serving and it contains 4 servings. I'm usu able to control my self and stick to 1 but no more than 1 1/2 servings at a time. Well after I read what the serving size was/amt of calories :)
For you chocolate lovers out there looking for something new - check out the Ritter Sport site.

No chocolate for me for a while. Or nuts for that matter. Both tend to aggravate my asthma especially when it's out of control. Saw my doc yesterday and she incr my dosage of flovent(my controller medication that I take twice/day to keep my asthma in check). So I'm going to see if that helps knock out whatever it is that's caused me to wheeze/need my emergency inhaler(albuterol) almost every day for the past 12 days. Sadly, no antibiotics as I'd hoped. I can understand why...I've not been bringing up anything and when my nose runs, it's clear...no antibiotics for me :(. I always feel like they would be great to get but my docs are never free with prescribing them to me. Maybe I feel that way b/c the few times I've taken them, I went from feeling like crap to feeling great within a couple days. She thinks it's fine for me to go workout as long as I take my albuterol before. I haven't felt like going to the gym at all. That's not a new feeling, I feel like that all the time but have still managed to go anyway. No more excuses though. Definitely hitting the gym tomorrow. Don't know if I'm up for boxing class though but I might as well get back into the swing of things. My muscles have lost most of the definition they had before my holiday in Dec. I want that back.

Have my 6mth dental cleaning tomorrow. Lately my teeth have been really sensitive. At first it was just the 2 adjoining teeth that my dentist filled about 6mths ago. They never really lost their sensitivity. this is why I can't enjoy many things I used to like to munch on - no hard pretzels, tostitos are almost bearable if I eat only on one side, potato chips. Tonight was really bad, they were really achy all through my dinner - I call it the anti-gym dinner i.e. Popeye's spicy chicken with Cajun fries. Don't even want to think about the calories there. I barely enjoyed it, my teeth were weirded out the whole time, no matter what side I tried to chew on. I've tried sensitive toothpaste and it seemed to help for a while but tonight's the worst it's been-almost too sensitive for me to brush...the horror! I hope the dentist has something useful to give me to fix this.

These are the funniest things I've heard - these talking-ring-tones. if you are only going to listen to one then you must check out Snoop's.
Don't know if I'd actually want one of these on my phone but still funny all the same.

Went to see Catch & Release today. I loved it, sad but really cool movie. It was less cutesy/cliched than I expected it to be. Worth seeing.

is it friday yet?

It's been a rough week. Sun night I felt like I was coming down with something dire - took some cold medicine. Woke up in the middle of wee hours coughing/wheezing - not good at all. So I took my inhaler and tried to get back to sleep. Oh did I sleep...until 9:30am...Monday! Woke up groggily, my mind in a fog, wheezing again and coughing. Took more medicine, called in sick and spent most of the day in bed.
Went in to work the rest of the week. Still have residual cold crap going on in my lungs. Been on my inhaler all week 3-4x/day. Only needed it once today but probably need to take it before I go to bed (so I don't wake up at 2am wheezing). My hands are not quite shaking yet but they feel weird - pre-shaky...side effects from my albuterol inhaler.

Plus in addition to feeling under the weather all week, my new supervisor has been a pain in my side all week. Today was the worst though and several times times I came close to telling him to "leave me the eff alone" or "for feck's sake, give me a break" or "must you be up under my arse all the time". Normally I would not even be close to saying such things to my supervisor. I wanted to ask him to back off, let me do my job and when I had results I would let him know. I did this reaction and it was quite slow - I was actually repeating one I did before that still wasn't complete after 4days. yet he expected to see it done after 1 day. So he kept asking me - literally every 5min - to check it using different systems. It was not freaking finished, no matter how many times I checked it, I had done it before. He kept questioning me about the spot on my TLC that was my product - I knew which one it is b/c he's made me repeat similar reactions to make the same product 6 times. I know where the damn thing is by now. He was not convinced. Then I ran a purification on some other material I had and was trying to find a system that would let me differentiate between the product I wanted and the by-product I didn't want. This sometimes takes time. SO I was trying different methods and did find one that worked well enough for me to identify my stuff. This man was acting like I'd never purified/identified/isolated a product before.

I have only been working there 4 1/2 years. I have only shipped 30-50 compounds a year - all pure. Purified by me. Isolated by me. Analyzed by me. Somehow I managed to do that without having him up under my arse. NOW it seems that I must be too incompetent to accomplish it now. I just got really quiet. I spoke to F and she said I should probably talk to his supervisor about him. I didn't want to do that b/c I know I need to address it with him first before I think of doing that. I was at my wits end today and had to tell someone - normally I would keep all this to myself.

He must have picked up on my anger...either that or he heard me complaining to F or someone else heard me and told him or it may have been my fervent prayers that I could keep my mouth shut and not say all the things going through my head to him directly. Whatever it was, after pestering me all day....from 3pm till I left he was suddenly not around - even when I was looking for him to give him an update when I finally had results. He seemed to almost be avoiding me. Doesn't matter what it was, I'm just glad I got through today without losing it completely.

Skipped the gym all week - that must be part of the reason why he got to me all this week and today especially...not being able to vent in boxing class...no endorphin- high from the exercise. I've been wheezing/coughing too much this week. I didn't want to chance it getting worse than it is. Hopefully, this crap will be out of my system soon and life can get back to normal.
Bed for me now, really tired.

turtle turtle turtle

I got a book on turtles from the library. I think I still want one. I was talking to C&T about how I want one but was waiting until
a)I'm sure I can actually touch them
b)learn how to set up tank/what food to feed/etc and
c)I can afford to get all the stuff - tank/heater/filter/UV lamp
Well, they have a whole set up they don't use anymore - aquarium/heater/filter that they are looking to give away and they said I could have them if I wanted it.

Maybe it's not such a great idea - I can use gloves to change their poopy water so that'll help. Plus you're not supposed to handle turtles more than necessary so I think it'll be ok.
My mission this week: to go to an actual pet store and see if I can touch the things.
Plus I need to decide where I'm going to get them from. The guy at work who offered me one of his turtles-which I would rename Houdini b/c he routinely escapes from his tank and goes walkabout. They usu find him days later in a corner of the house. I think I want my first real pet to be less troublesome than that.

prom aka company party

Went to my work holiday party last night. I carpooled with C&T, it was easy b/c they only live a couple minutes from me so I drove over to their house and we left from their. This was great b/c I was certain I was going to get lost on my way there - I always do whenever I have to go to that town. My own personal Bermuda triangle.

It was so freaking cold last night - not the best night to be in a skirt. The shoes I meant to wear work great without tights but were not easy to walk in without, especially with snow/ice on the ground. So I had to use the second pair I bought which worked just as well and looked great with tights. I was still cold though. By the end of the night my feet were killing me but they stilled looked cute though :)

If you want pics, email me and I'll send them. Don't want to post them.

It was a fun night. The DJ played quite a mix. Not that I danced though. I never dance at these things - I like to keep social life separate from work life so no dancing in front of managers and other section heads.

We got pictures taken by magnet-man. They hire a professional photographer who takes as many pics as you want, groups/singles/couples/etc and he puts them on magnets. They make copies for every person in each picture. Kinda cool and totally free. The food was good. I have 5 such magnets. The food - pasta, roast beef(skipped those), international table with mostly fried foods like samosas, fish cakes, veggie rolls; also stuffed grape leaves. I ate all the fried thingies twice and also had several grape leaves things. Maybe too much b/c my stomach made much noise last night and this morning. At least it wasn't bad enough that it made me ill though so that was a relief. There was also desserts upstairs which I'd have saved more room for if I'd thought of it before I got my 3rd plate of fried things.
I still managed to scarf down 3 mini cheesecakes, 1 mini tiramisu (which I don't even like much) and 1 mini pumpkin pie. Also had a glass of wine and 1 cosmopolitan. After that I figured I'd had enough and called it quits.
They also had a mini casino set up with roulette wheel, blackjack and poker tables. Everyone got a chit worth 50 chips. We didn't feel like playing (were really too busy eating :) so we just entered our chits into the raffle. The prizes - wind breaker with company logo or food basket - can take or leave them.

All in all a good night. A friend a work decided to through a party at the same time as the company party. Why? I suspect she didn't really want some of us to come to her party. Whatever. She and a couple other people who were bailing on the company party suggested that we could stop by before or after the company party. I don't think so. Plus at her party would be 3 couples and no new single guys for me to meet. Same old people that I could hang out with any other night. Plus they live in the opposite direction and not at all close to me. And I had new dress and shoes. No real contest.

dating...not really

Recently, decided to create profile on one of the online dating sites. I've done the internet dating thing before without much success but creating a profile was the only way the stupid site would let me continue scanning other profiles for free.
I've gotten more hits(profile views/ice breakers/emails) in the last week since I created the profile than I did when I was on the site before for 6mths - go figure.
Maybe it's partly because I wrote the profile in 5min and it's kinda snarky. When I was on the site before, I took a long time to write my profile and it didn't make a damn worth of difference b/c they never read them.

No really good prospects though. Many pics/profiles I've seen before a year ago when I last did this. The ones with interesting profiles who have contacted me have no photo attached. No good - my pic is there, I think I deserve to see theirs before I decide to contact them or not. The other ones are horrible. Their profile is written in all caps - most annoying, if you don't know that means shouting online then why should I be wasting my time. Or their profile has obviously been written by someone who may/may not have finished high school. I'm an elitist when it comes to this, not that it's right to be so snobbish but I can't help it. Especially when they have a spell-checker program linked to the profile now. They have no excuse for having a profile like the one below - sent to me by a guy who says he'd like to know more about me...that's nice but I don't think so.

"Iam respondsable,but laid back,romantic,fun loving,honest&kind of shy sometimes.I love the outdoors,pets,movies,dinner,sports&music.Ifeel good helping people less fortunate than me.Iam an all around nice guy. Iam looking for someone who would enjoy what i do&may offer more to enrich our lives for the better.Someone thats honest,fun to be with&down to earth.Someone thats looking for a relationship.NO GAMES R PLAYERS"

I copied and pasted it as is. Bad spelling, no spaces in logical places. No surprise that he has "finished high school" as highest education. Do these guys not even look at the part of my profile that says I'm looking for someone who's at least a college grad. Obviously, they don't read anything. Then there are all the guys who live with their parents (at 39). Yeah and I mustn't forget to mention all the 39-45 yr old when it clearly says that I don't want anyone over 36. They must think that's a rough number. I don't want a smoker nor someone that doesn't mind dating a smoker. A true non-smoker will only want another non-smoker imho.

more AI

Ok so Meesha(sp?)...where do I start
-her Mom clone (in the uneven skirt above her knee)
-those pants(no one should wear pants like that)
-why pair those pants with those sneakers
-why no bra
And then there was the singing - don't ya wish she hadn't sung that song.
Simon was really nice though, all things considered.

what I'm watching

Most of the guys in my lab rave about the show "24". I just can't get into it. Why? Plausibility. I require this in a show. I can't suspend my judgment long enough to enjoy it. Same deal with CSI.
What I watched on Monday night instead - "Eleventh Hour" (cool review here). It's on BBC america. And stars Patrick Stewart(captain Jean-Luc Picard himself :) as government scientist Ian Hood. Very entertaining. I taped it b/c they started the marathon at 3pm. I watched the last one Mon. And have been catching up on the rest of the eps as the week goes by.

My other guilty pleasure show (besides AI :) is "Doctor Who" (cool guide here). I like the 9th doctor better than the 10th. It's chessy at times - even though there's much more available in the way of technology nowadays, the aliens are still kinda cheesy. I love it.

Also watched some American Idol last night. Went to the gym so I missed the 1st hour. What I did see though was pretty funny. Personally I think the best parts of American Idol is the auditions - the bad auditions. You wonder how it's possible that they don't know they can't sing/are tone deaf. How? How? You'd think that after 16-20yrs someone would have been kind enough to tell them. More tonight, Yay!
Contestant Jennifer - I don't know which was more disturbing...her singing, her fake tan or the way she grabbed her belly with every note?

no more ice please

I hate ice storms. I hate ice on my walkway to my car, I hate ice sheets covering all the surfaces of my car. I finally bought some de-icer tonight. Trying to scrape ice sheets off the windows and windshield sucks. I don't mind the rain so much as long as the temp stays above freezing. I wouldn't even mind 4-5in of snow instead of this crap ice.

My joints hurt tonight. Don't know what is up with that.
When I went boxing last Thur, it was first real workout in a month. I felt fine on Fri and thought I'd gotten away from the usu pain after not exercising for so long. Nope. Could barely take my shirt off Sat morning without pain - my ribs, my shoulders, my back muscles all ached. Better today. Went to yoga today and we did several new positions that I didn't care for much. I was having a bit of wrist trouble and one position in particular, I think it was triangle or some sun salutation (hard to keep them all straight :) really hurt while I trying to get in position but I wasn't sure how to get out of position without falling over so I just waited for instructions from S. She told me I should have said something, that I was in pain. She always tries to find ways to help us change/alter position so that we're doing the positions correctly/in such a way as not to cause pain. It was still good though. We also did a bit of abdominal work. S was impressed with how long I could hold certain positions - all training from my boxing class :)

I finally got a chance to listen to the T.e.a.d.a CD I bought after I saw them live late last year. I love, love, love it. Track 4(3rd link on their site ) is my favorite.

I did major cleaning of my apt Sat, even put up pictures, finally unpacked and put away the suitcases from my trip. My apt is so neat and tidy - trying to keep it that way.

I want a turtle but with all the stuff I'd need to get, it just doesn't seem so practical to me anymore. Sadly, no turtle :( At least not in the near future. Instead I will have to transplant my 2 plants whose leaves are turning yellow. I know it's b/c they need more room. Maybe I also get a couple more plants as well. Not the same as turtles I know but still something.

I also went shopping with Z Sat evening. Very productive. Found perfect shoes to go with my dress for prom aka company Holiday party. And they were on sale(50% off). Also bought a 2nd pair which made my feet look so cute and dare i say sexy that I had to get them. Z agreed. They were 65% off. Total was $71. Not bad at all.

Still on my all-cash diet = credit money even with my debit card doesn't seem like real money to me. So no more of that this year. Only using cash, except at the pump b/c it's a pain to go in and out of the serviec station when I can just swipe, get my gas and go. But I have budgeted the money for it. Also keeping track of my expenses - so I can figure out what the hell I spend my money on and why I never seem to have enough. Actually I kinda know why I don't - mostly b/c I buy tons of crap I don't really need. That's all well and good but this year is all about control and curbing my excesses i.e. impulsive spending.

no more blog roll

Tonight I read a post on Ann's blog about blogger faux pas - she mentioned taking away her blog roll while she was on vacation and not putting it back until recently. Well I noticed this trend on several other blogs as well. At the time - I thought "I can do that?" So I removed mine as well. I found it more freeing than anything else. Less pressure somehow. I don't mean to slight anyone but I just figured that I'd comment on people's blogs when I felt I had something to say. Otherwise, I'd just enjoy their blogs - no pressure from them or from me. I'd gotten into this habit of checking my stats and wondering why people who used to read my blog weren't here anymore. I also was glad that some of you were still reading. All this though - just too much stress for me. So I've stopped checking the stats. Haven't checked it since before my vacay last year. The feeling I have now is really good. This not having a blog roll/having to constantly update my sidebar every time I found a new blog/worrying whether I'd offend someone if I took their name off my blog roll if I didn't go to their blogs anymore - all that gone. So if I offended anyone by doing so then I'm sorry. But I started this blog for me and so I choose to keep it the way that works for me.

maybe

I'm thinking of getting a pet - I know, even I am amazed that I'm seriously considering it. I even have an offer of one I could adopt from a colleague at work. He has one who's a loner (does not play well with others) so I wouldn't have to get him a companion. What kind of pet? A turtle. Why? My younger sibs have turtles and they are are the cutest things. They stick their heads out of the water and look at you when you talk to them - I did much talking to them. I think they liked the attention. 2 of them are very neglected by my youngest sis. She thought they were cute until she had to change their water(won't do it without gloves). She also says she feels funny talking to them b/c they can't talk back. To which I said "you don't really want them to talk back to you, that would be freaky". She laughed of course. I was delighted by them and maybe if I got one i'd feel a little less lonely. Of course, being in Trinidad, the turtles only need a tank and regular feeding. Here, I'd need to get a tank, filter, heater, lamps, etc. Big step. Also need to run this idea by my lanlord and make sure he would be ok with it. No pets in my lease but I think fish/turtles don't really count b/c it's not like they make noise or can ruin the hardwood floors. I also need to go to a petstore of some kind and see if I can really do this.I took many pics of the turtles. Each sis has a pair and they like to climb on each other. So cute. I never realized how cute turtles can be especially when they are asleep. See for yourself! So cute!

Finally the details

My vacation in T&T
19 Dec: The Plane
Seated next to a guy who talked the entire 5hrs of the flight. Told me his whole life story including his age(mid 40s)...currently single(divorced)....dates Black, Indian, White, anyone(he's Indian)....his fav foods...his job and current salary...# siblings...that he owns a house....etc, etc, etc. I could hardly get a word in edgewise which is really saying something b/c I can be quite chatty.
I tried to read my book, even made a half-hearted attempt at using my headphones but he just kept on talking and I guess I'm just too polite to be openly rude. He also gave me a gift-a silver chain. you might be wondering why I would accept such a gift from a stranger...well it's beautiful and he got all offended when I tried to refuse it. So I accepted it. Didn't know what else to do.
I told my Mum about it and she said that maybe the universe wanted to give me a gift and they used him as a medium.
He seemed like a perfectly nice guy if a bit chatty, just not for me. He had rings on every finger of each hand, a couple fingers even had 2 rings and he also had a couple bracelets on each hand as well. My kind of guy will not feel the need to wear that much jewelry at once. And he also wore his shades...on the plane for the entire flight. Odd, no?
They served the most disgusting meal I've ever had on a plane - turkey/cheese/unidentifiable chewy thing in an overheated bun which was too hard in some places and very soggy in others. Too gross for me to eat it all.

20 Dec/21 Dec: Food Poisoning
Ate Chinese food which was one of the things on my list of foods that I wanted to eat while I was home. Well, I got a horrible case of food poisoning within 20min of eating it. I threw up for a long time. Was in and out of the loo all night and most of the next day. The horror, the horror! 4 other family members also ate the same food I ate but no one else was sick. mu Mum said that maybe they were used to the bacteria.

I spent the next few days doing some shopping and seeing various uncles/aunts. Christmas was a really good day but we did miss my older sis who couldn't make it home this year. Got great presents, really nice pieces of jewelry as well as cool accessories for my iPod. Also got the Love Actually soundtrack. I love that movie and the soundtrack is great.

I spent most of my my time sitting in front of the fan. I was so hot. When I wasn't in front of the fan I was covered in a sheen of sweat, literally. It was not pretty. My body is just not used to the heat anymore.

My Mum sewed a couple outfits for me and I also bought a few long skirts. I can never find anything dressy that fits right normally so I was really glad to find the skirts. One of the outfits my Mum made is a really cool 2-piece top/skirt in a silvery purple Chinese silk (so beautiful)- I'm planning to wear that to our Holiday party at work which is in 2 weeks. All I need now are shoes.

Went to church with the family New Year's Day. Spent the rest of the day at the beach. My sisters ate bake and shark while I had kingfish and fries. No shark for me. Bake and shark is standard beach food in Trinidad.

3 Jan: time to fly back
Woke up at 5am to get ready to go to the airport. While checking in my bags, my Mum asked where my jacket was and I told her it was in one of the bags I was checking in. She suggested that I take it out and keep it in my hand luggage. Being the good daughter that I am, I did as she suggested. Boy am I glad that I did. Here's why.
Normally it takes 2-3 hrs from the time I get off the plane in Newark to get through immigration and customs b/c there are usu 100s of people in line ahead of me and we all have to be fingerprinted/photographed/etc. So instead of booking my connecting flight at 330pm, I booked the next available one at 9pm. I figured it'd only be about 3-4hrs wait and that way I wouldn't miss my connecting flight. The best laid plans of mice and men, isn't that what they say? Well my flight from Trinidad got in at 1:30pm and i was actually done with immigration and customs by 2:30pm. I think our flight was one of the first international ones to arrive so for once the line only had 3 people ahead of me. My luggage came out in no time as well. So I rechecked my bags (you have to pick up your luggage from international flights, go through customs with them, and then re-check them to your final destination) and decided to go to my gate and hang out there until my flight. I was so sick of Newark airport by 7pm. So tired of the waiting. At 8:30, I still can't see my flight on any of the screens, so I go up to one of the gate security guys and he looks at my ticket and tells me that it has wrong gate on it. He then tells me that I need 114B. So I ask if that's in Terminal B and he says yes. So he puts me on this shuttle bus (along with a few other people) which is supposed to take me from where I am (terminal A) to the right place. When the bus drops us off is, it's at Terminal C and that time is 8:45pm. So I stop one of the workers there and ask if I am in the right place for gate 114B-terminal B. They tell me no and that I have to take the air shuttle back to terminal B. I ask them if they are sure, tell them my destination and that the shuttle bus just brought me there. They insist that I need to take the air shuttle. I take the stupid air shuttle to terminal B and look around only to find out that there is no gate 114 in terminal B, it stops at gate 68. So I ask someone again, where I should be and they laugh and tell me that I need terminal C. I race back to terminal C and have to trek to the back of the damn terminal to find stupid gate 114B. It's now 9pm and my flight has just left...without me...after I waited 7 bloody hrs. I was so pissed off - partly at the incompetent workers who could have told me that 114B doesn't exist in terminal B and not sent me on a wild goose chase. I was also pissed at myself for not checking with someone earlier about my gate/flight since it was not on the departure boards at all in terminal A - should have been my first clue really that something was wrong. At first I thought it wasn't there b/c it was so early. Then I couldn't find an agent to ask. The service desk there for continental had a really long line and I figured I was in the right place so didn't bother to recheck to make sure I was in the right place. So I blame myself as well.
It took some more running around freaking terminal C before I could get to a service desk that was open. After waiting 45min I finally speak to a service rep who gives me a voucher to stay in hotel for the night. The next flight was leaving 8:30am Thurs. She was really nice and also gave me directions to the service office where I was able to toiletries. Totally needed b/c I'd forgotten to pack my toothbrush (even after my Mum reminded me about it) and when I got to the hotel at midnight, the gift shop was already closed. Another good thing was that she also gave me vouchers for dinner and breakfast. i had 1 clean shirt and basic underwear in my hand luggage. I couldn't sleep - probably due to all the stress/feeling like I'd miss flight in the morning. I woke up at 5am, showered, dressed, took the airport shuttle. It took an hr to get through security. Why don't people know the basic protocol for passing through security? Take off your shoes...put phones in bag, not in pocket...yes, your jacket/vest/belt need to be taken off...yes, you have to take your laptop out of the case...yes you need to have your ID out with your boarding pass. These are not difficult rules to remember, especially since there are video screens up saying all this in addition to the TSA security guards who also keep repeating this info for the idiots that don't seem to grasp these rules.

So I called my boss at work to let them know I was still in Newark but would be in to work around 11pm. My flight was supposed to get in at 10am. E came to pick me up at the airport; luckily my luggage was waiting for me (it had arrived on the flight I missed). I decided to just go into work instead of going home. I had quite a bit of corrections to do on the reports I did before I left for my vacay last year. My old project ended and I’ve been transferred to another project. I know most of the people on this project and my new supervisor is ok so far. I had to move my lab stuff to their lab. I also have to move my writing area stuff downstairs as it’d be closer to my new lab. It’s kind of a pain b/c I’ve been in the same writing area for 4 ½ yrs and have accumulated a fair amt of crap. So I’ll have to do some shredding of old project paperwork. I’m ready for a change.

new year

Resolutions:

Make a budget and stick to it

Manage my money better - no more random spending/no more using credit cards

Don't go shopping without a list - only buy stuff on it

Get to work before 8am every day

Cook more often - prepare meals that are simple(no stress) but healthy and by doing this eat less preserved food/takeout

Meant to do major update here of my holiday and travel woes, etc. but I have a killer headache - most likely due to lack of sleep. I've only had about 10hrs sleep over the past 3 days. Maybe tomorrow. Have to get off the computer now, eyes are starting to sting a little.

home sweet home

I'm home at last. Had a great vacay! I'm actually missing the heat now.

Nightmare of a return journey. More details tomorrow. Must sleep now.

about 10 hrs to go

Didn't do much at work today - was finally feeling in the holiday way :) All my reportss are done and I even prrof-read it today. Cleaned out the crap left in my hood - had some waste to quench, then dispose of that took a couple hrs. Updated my lab notebooks - lagging a little since I spent the last couple weeks doing experimental reports. But it's all set now. Then I spent the rest of the day puttering around.

My packing is mostly done - still have to find space for a few things though. I'm really tired. Have to do the few dishes in my sink, then bed. Soon. I'd like to get to bed by 11:30 for the latest even if I'm not asleep but at least in bed - that'll be good enough. Have to be up around 6ish, depends on whether I wash my hair tonight or tomorrow. Then off to my friend's apt complex to park my car. She's going to give me a lift to the airport. Then I'll truly be on my way.

I have about 3 hrs to wait after I get to Newark then 5hrs to home.

All the best for the holidays!

concert

Tonight went to concert "irish Christmas In America". My main reason for wanting to go was this new group I'm interested in called T_e_a_d_a (tay-da) - they play traditional irish music. They were joined by a fe other musicians as well. This amazing harpist (is that the right word?)Grainne Hambly and also Tommy Martin who is amazing on uillean pipes and tin whistles.

They also had a few dancers - one got the smile thing down perfectly - you know exactly what I mean if you've ever seen Riverdance, those danceers grin from ear to ear as if they are having the most fabulous time ever! Well one had the smile down, another was concerned with her skirt flying up during the kicks and the last one was definitely counting. But they were still fun to watch.

They were supposed to have Cathie Ryan from Cherish The Ladies but instead they had a guy Michael Londra whose voice is so clear and true, he needs no accompaniment. Truly amazing.

One of the guys from (Tristan) read poems and also told in a narrative fashion stories about Irish Christmas traditions both ancient and modern. His voice - I must confess that I couldn't understand half of what he was saying even when he was speaking English - still, I could listen to him all day. So much so (I blame my reaction partly on the lure of his voice) that during this skit thing they were doing, he pretended to fall ill and lay flat on the stage. At this point one of the other band members called out "is there a doctor in the house?". To my shame, I kinda shouted out "i could be one!" Then he called out for me to come up and at that point I realized that I was insane. I quickly settled myself but good in my seat. Our seats were excellent ones about 4 rows back from the stage - they let move there from our original seats which were fairly close to the stage but on far right so they told us we could move for a better view. Yeah, so after my outburst, they continued with their skit. One of them had a whole spiel about how he could revive the dead make an old woman on crutches skip again.
I bought their latest CD. All in all a great night.

Movies Seen On Big Screen(2006)

Munich
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion. the Witch and the Wardrobe
Glory Road
Brokeback Mountain
Something New
Cache
Inside Man
Just My Luck
X-Men 3
Akeelah And The bee
Prairie Home Companion
An Inconvenient Truth
The Breakup
Superman
The Devil Wears Prada
Scoop
Barnyard
Step Up
John Tucker Must Die
Little Miss Sunshine (best movie for any mood)
Beerfest
Trust The Man
Jet Li's Fearless
All The King's Men
The Departed
Marie Antoinette
The Prestige
The Illusionist
Stranger Than Fiction (movie I laughed out loud at the most)
Borat
Casino Royale (best action)
The Holiday

9 days to go

That's right, in 9 days I leave for home -sweet T&T. Did a mock packing and realized that my suticase is not big enough. My plan was to take 2 suitcases - 1 med/1 sm but it kinda looks like I need to take 1 large instead of the medium. This is just the stuff I have as presents, etc. My cases are full and I haven't packed anything to wear/shoes/etc. Have a couple things left to get then I might try to get a cheap one this week. If not will have to use 2 medium instead. Nothing for it. I'd prefer to have med/sm since that's easier to cart around. I'll just have to get carry-cart.

Last week was busy. Have been doing paperwork all last week and will spend the the rest of this week doing the same. My self-evaluation is also due. I have to go in early tomorrow to finish it, send it to my boss. Then back to experimental write-ups. I have so many left to do. I thought about going in this weekend to do a few hrs worth but I was so exhausted. I think I may be getting a cold. This would really suck since I will be travelling/on holiday soon. Everyone in my immediate office space were sneezing/blowing their nose/hacking up their lungs last week. I've never met a group of people who are sick so frequently. One of them sounds like she has consumption-she really needs to take some antibiotics or something. I don't really care, I only care that I not catch whatever the hell it is she's got. I've been takign loads of zinc and vit C and drinking liquids.

Went to see "The Holiday". I really wanted to like this movie. Unfortunately, I really can't stand Cameron Diaz and she almost ruined it for me. I loved Kate Winslet's character and Jack Black's was great too. I could have done with CD's attempt at acting. I also didn't much care Jude Law's character very much either. I wish the movie only contained snippets of CD and JL and focused more on KW and JBs story. Yeah, it probably would have been a 90min movie instead of 130min but that would have been ok by me. I'll have to give a 1/2 thumbs-up.

I have just happened across the "best page in the universe". Seriously funny. My linking to him would probably piss him off. I'm ok with that. How can anyone resist a pirate?

music videos

If you haven't seen Weird Al's video for "White & Nerdy" - a must-see(just click on it on the bottom right). If you have seen it...is this not the funniest music video you've seen in ages?

chasing cars

snow patrol - I love this album. most of the tracks are really good but my fav is Chasing Cars, and I've played it on repeat all day.

I know, I know, this is kinda like old news. But I'm kinda slow. I rarely notice or like bands when they first make their splash. So for me this is like a new discovery. I know it sounds kinda hokey but if I can't be hokey on my own blog, where else can I do it?...Chasing Cars resonates deep within me everytime, everytime I hear it.

happy thanksgiving

Half of the people at work yesteday were told they could leave after lunch -different dept but they basically do the same thing we do. Our dept didn't get that though, they told us we could leave around 3 or 4pm.
Kind of unfair but it was alright. I finished what I wanted to get done by 1:30pm and wandered around chatting to ppl until 3. I figured that made it more equal :)

It really was good because I had a couple things to mail then had to get my allergy shots. In a way it was a good thing because I would have the missed the beautiful sunset I saw as I was leaving the doctor's office. I don't see many sunsets but this one was worth taking a moment to enjoy it. I wanted to capture it somehow - I tried taking a pic with my phone but it didn't do it justice. Wished I had my digicam. So I guess it was worth leaving work a lbit later since I would probably have indoors at that time otherwise.

Got my dinner from Boston Market including slice of pumpkin pie. It doesn't feel like it's thanksgiving until I have pumpkin pie. The turkey I can take or leave as long as I have some other form of meat but the pumpkin pis is a must.

so the drama

Finally feeling more like myself. Went out Fri night to a bday party. It was at a community center and they had pizza and wings and cake. All good right. Well I tried a bite of the pizza and it tasted weird to me, smelled weird too. No one else seemed to think so though(I asked a few people).It tasted like the pizza was old and they put fresh cheese on top and reheated it. It smelled kinda moldy. Anyhoo, I only had one piece.

Then I was eating this small piece of bubble gum - it was the kind that starts out hard as a rock and after a minute or so of chewing becomes malleable. Well I just at that point when I choked. Saliva chose that moment to go into my lungs. My lungs were not amused. I gagged and coughed for a long time. My eyes were watering. People kept asking me if I was ok. As if I could answer them during my coughing/choking fit. I just kept shaking my head to say "hell no I'm not ok, still coughing spasmically" and shaking my finger to say "yeah I need a moment or two".
Finally the coughing subsided after 10min. I was in bad way by then and needed to take my inhaler. Apart from that incident which thankfully happened near the end of the night, the party was a lot of fun.

I woke up Sat at 7am with a horrible stomachache. Then I had to make a mad dash for the bathroom. Couldn't go for my morning walk. Felt awful. By 9am I already been to the loo 4 times. Felt horribly ill all day. I figured it was probably the pizza. Of course I only had 1 slice but my stomach is kinda sensitive sometimes. Either that or I caught some kind of stomach virus. I was still sick on Sunday, so no choir or church. Felt a little less like I was dying but still not quite right.
Didn't go to work today b/c my head hurt like hell and my stomach still felt kinda queasy. Probably b/c I couldn't eat much. I was so ill Sat, I barely drank anything - basic dehydration symptoms.

Talked to one of the nurses from my doc's office. She thought it was most likely stomach bug of some sort - she told several people had been in b/c of that lately. Also gave me a couple good suggestions. My stomach is still not completely right yet. At least I'm feeling hungry again. All I ate Sat was couple slices plain bread and a few crackers. The nurse suggested I also eat baked potato...something about it containing potassium. Another suggestion was popsicles - very good suggestion b/c then I can keep hydrated without it seeming like a chore. Popsicles are fun :) Not a big gatorade fan(another tip) but I got some. It kinda upset my stomach.

I know I'm definitely feeling much better b/c I'm hungry and the chocolate bar in my fridge looks real good to me now. I'm going to resist it though, at least for tonight.

movies

Saw a few movies recently.
The Prestige - more than worth the price of admission - really enjoyed it.
The Illusionist - ok, different kind of story from the Prestige even though they are both about magicians.
If you only plan to see one of them I'd definitely recommend the Prestige over the Illusionist.

Today was quite busy. In spite of the fact that I got very little sleep last night. Fell asleep on my futon around 10 until 12:20am. Then went to bed, turned out the lights. Couldn't get back to sleep though. Around 2am I got fed up of just lying there so I turned the light back on and read until 4:30am. Eventually fell asleep. Woke up at my alarm at 830am this morning. Met my friend for our early Sat walk. Then we went to the diner for breakfast (light one in my case). Went to lunch with E around 12:30pm - soup, salad and breadsticks at olive garden - delicious. Then home. I meant to do a little cleaning - almost out of clean dishes but was kind of sleepy. Took a nap around 4 until 6pm.

Went to see Stranger Than Fiction tonight with a group of friends. I laughed a lot. I enjoyed it even more than I expected to. See this movie if you can.

Then we went to small coffee shop, chatted, drank hot beverages, played scrabble, listened to local talent (guy with a guitar playing various covers from bob dylan to kenny loggins to john denver. he wasn't bad).

One of the friends I was with tonight is one a guy I know from college C - he was touching my arm casually all night, both while we were in the movie theatre and also at the coffee shop. I could totally get into this guy. I do like him. He's cute and funny and he gets my jokes.

I asked my friend Z what she thought of him and she told that he definitely sees me as a girl, not just a buddy. She thinks this is a good sign and that I should "totally go for it" :) I'm just going to wait and see. He mentioned tonight that we should get together more often. So I'm just going to take it easy and see if anything develops.

Having some hot chocolate now - hoping that'll help me wind down enough to sleep...soon :)

rain and dreams

It's was so rainy today. I left work a little early to get my allergy shots - an easy 15 min drive on the highway became a 25min chore through driving rain. It rained so much today that it made me wonder if it would ever stop. I know it will eventually but it felt like it wouldn't. Add in the early darkness of this time of year - so not helping either. I don't usu care much about the whole early dark thing but I noticed it today.

At the end of boxing class we usu do ab exercises. We did the usu ones so well that he extended our time and made do another one - dead bug using balance ball. Took some doing for me to get it right - I'm not very coordinated when it comes to stuff like alternating hand and leg movements. But I got it eventually. My sides/mid back really hurt last night. they're not too bad tonight. I guess it's must be a good one if I could feel it like that.

Had a weird series of dreams last night. It kept repeating itself. I have dreams like that from time to time where I'm in the dream yet I feel as if I've woken up but I really haven't and then I fall back into the dream, if that makes any sense.
I've got to stop watching discovery health b/c in one of the dreams, I had several conditions which I've only heard about on the show mystery diagnosis. I also had some weird blood disorder in the dream - the details of which I don't want to think about, very gross. This might also be due to a book a just finished reading - My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult very sad but great story. might also be b/c I have been having a lot of nose bleeds lately. Haven't been able to take my allergy meds( a nasal spray) for over 2 weeks b/c of them.

I woke up at 3am - probably b/c I fell asleep on the futon with the tv blaring and the lights on. I went to bed then but couldn't fall back asleep right away. I fell asleep eventually and went back to the dream I was having before I woke up.

Needless to say, my dreams were very disturbing and I woke up feeling very groggy and unsettled. Plus it took a while for me to wake up - I was in that weird state where I was half-asleep and trying to wake myself up out of the remains of my dream. You know that state where your mind is almost awake but you can't quite move your limbs yet? I woke up finally and had to check to make sure my legs didn't have any sores on them (shudders). Crawling my blood just thinking about it now.

I've got to go to bed soon, took a benadryl a couple hrs ago. I've been using over-the-counter antihistamines to try to keep most of the allergy symptoms at bay. They don't help the sore throat and upset stomach I get from the nasal drip but at least I'm not sniffling/sneezing constantly. I'll take whatever relief I can get.

pics

If you are interested in seeing my halloween pics - let me know, I'll email them to you. I didn't want to leave them on the site too long - still like to remain relatively anonymous.

halloweeeennnn

My friends are throwing a Halloween bash. I don't normally dress up for Halloween. I've never bought a costume before. Several other people already had theirs either bought or picked out already and most had pd $40 for theirs. This sounded like way too money for me. I was thinking more like $15-20 for a costume. At least before I got out to the shops. All the costumes were quite pricey.

I was thinking of going as some sort of superhero. During my store browsing last night I came across the perfect prop. A battleax - plastic yes, but perfect. I decided that I needed to find a costume that would allow me to use said battleax.

S was shopping with me and even she had to admit that the batttleax and I seemed made for each other(not her exact words but I'm sure that was her general meaning ;)

Anyhoo, I couldn't quite find anything that would work with it. So sadly, no battleax :( Moving on, thought about maybe going as Guenivere but when I took the costume out of the bag it was just a bit too frou-frou for my tastes. Didn't feel like I could work it at all. Plus, the battleax would probably have been a bit much.

The only other options at this time (10pm Fri) were Vamptessa...uummm, don't think so
Druid Witch...ummm, maybe, but only had a robe - too long, battleax, definite maybe
Supergirl...ummm, not sure but worth trying on just to see.

Finally, the decision...I'm going as Supergirl. I will take pics and post them for a short time b/c I know you are now dying to know what it all looks like. From the moment I out on that cape/top I knew it was right. I completely forgot about the whole battleax thing. I even tried a few appropriate poses that will totally work with my costume. Just needed red tights to complete the outfit (it comes with boot covers, belt and skirt).

I also plan to carry props. Yes, props :) I saw a superman logo candy bucket. Yup, had to get it right? Plus I'm seriously thinking about taking a small fan with me to have running in back to blow my cape around. Another idea is to wear ordinary clothes over my costume - will probably have to hide the red boot covers in my pocket - then after everyone is there say "what's that I hear, a distress call?". then run to the ladies rm to change into....Supergirl da-da-dun-dah-dun-da-dun! How cool/funny would that be? Don't you wish you could witness me doing this? Haven't mentioned that bit to anyone yet. Did tell S about the fan bit, she doesn't think I will actually do it. A dare? I think it was definitely a dare. One which I can't resist. When I told her her of it I was only half-serious. Now it's on.

Oh yeah...total cost of all this costumery/props :) $50. It's offical. I am insane.

no ocassion dinner

A couple friends and I made plans to go out to dinner tonight about a week ago. Then I thought of a couple more who might be interested. then a couple more. So I invited most of my friends and their signif. others, thinking that only half of them would want to go/not have plans - the number in my head was 5-8 people.

It's always weird for me when I get invited to stuff and then other people in our circle are excluded for one reason or another. Then I have been asked on more than one occasion to not say anything to the people who weren't invited. Awkward. So I thought to avoid that and give everyone the choice of refusing without excluding anyone.

The funny thing is that they are all available and interested in going. So our simple dinner out has turned into a thing. So much so that one of the original planners suggested I make up an occasion for us to celebrate.
Technically it's my half-birthday this month. Today is my Dad's birthday. Other bday's today - Tom Petty, Bela Lugosi, Jerry Orbach, Snoop Dog, Mickey Mantle. Not that anyone really cares about any of that. But I wanted to be prepared in case they ask me what the occasion is :)

I made us a reservation (12-14) at a great local restaurant(got great reviews) that only one or two of us have been to before - so it should be fun, I think. We'll see.

I was going to wash my hair but it's been raining all day. So it'll probably end up getting wet and then all my efforts would have been wasted. My hair is kinda flat b/c I went to the gym twice this week and both times worked out for at least an hr-all that exercise wreaks havoc on my hair. So it's a bit wavy and a little frizzy instead of being straight and sleek(the way I prefer it to be).

tags smags

another thing...the whole tags thing just doesn't appeal to me. My blog is about my mostly random thoughts - many do not fit into a particular category. It just seems like work to have to think up a label for it. Half the time I can't think up a title much less a tag.
The only good thing is that publishing happens in an instant.

blogbeta

This whole bloggerbeta thing - not the the best thing ever that they proclaimed it. Now I can't sign in with my short screenname anymore. I have to type out my email addy. This is especially annoying when I try to make comments on blogs b/c it then makes me sign in twice as it goes from one screen to the betablogger screen. At that point the comment I was trying to make gets erased and I just can't be bothered to go through the trouble of typing it all again. So betablogger, you suck, just so you know.

11-11-06
Ok so maybe blogger in beta is not so bad - now that I understand the ways of it more. It's more convenient to search through blog entries with a keyword. Also great for seeing which entries have comments. Also it is easier to rearrange stuff on my template without having to look at all that gobbledygook that

boxing gloves

I bought boxing gloves and wraps. I really wanted red gloves but they didn't have them in the size I wanted :(. Oh well. This way I can keep boxing without having to use the smelly-no doubt-fungus-infested-gloves that they give us at the gym. They never disinfect them so they stink - like you can't even imagine. It takes 3-4 thorough hand washings to remove the stink from my hands. That's how bad they are. I didn't want to get them until I was sure that I'd stick with it. I've bought many things with the thought that I'd use them regularly, only to have them just sitting there for years after being used only once or twice.

boxing and stuff

Boxing is great stress reliever and I look forward to it every week. It leaves me feeling exhausted though. Partly b/c I do weights for ~25min just before the hr-long boxing class. I think it'd be better if I tried doing my weight routine on alternate nights from the boxing. I've been shying away from this b/c it'd mean going to the gym 4 days a week. Don't know if I'm ready for that yet :) Seems a little excessive. Probably would be good for me though.

Tomorrow we have our yearly presentation in front of the managers/section heads. I'm hoping that we finish early and that we don't get too many questions throughout(that always slows things down a lot). Then maybe I can get out of there at 4ish. Then I'll go to the gym. Then home.

I'm taking Fri off work. I can't wait. I've been meaning to take a day off for a long time now but just haven't yet. I've been so stressed with the work that needed to be done or we had deadlines to meet or meetings scheduled. I really need a mental health day. I have no plans to do anything. I briefly thought about taking a trip somewhere but I decided to just have a lie-in. Maybe paint, definitely read and relax. that's my plan. Should be great!

mallomars

They're baaacckk :)

word of the day...exhaustion

My last post makes it exactly one year of posting i.e. 365 posts and counting :)

I'm exhausted. Going to bed in 30min. really mean that. It's been a long weekend. Slept in on Sat -the first time I've been able to sleep in weeks. We canceled our morning walk cuase my friend was going out of town. Then I went to get my hair done. then spent ~4hrs in the mall. I was looking for a cute shirt to wear Sat night since we were going out dancing. No luck on that front but I still spent a lot of money. Bought a pair of jeans (ultra low waist) which the salesgirls insisted looked really good on me. They are lower than I normally wear, comfortable but it just felt like my ass was hanging out. Not my usual goal. Also bought a few tees at old navy and a couple watches(50% of so I had to get 2 :) With my hair/jeans/watches I spent just under $200. I pd full price for the jeans which I don't normally do. They looked really good. We were out way too late though. I only had one light beer and we had appetizers to go with it. Still I was really tired driving home. Dangerously tired. I had to drop me friend home first. The drive home was a little scary for me b/c with my tiredness my night vision was horrible. I kept blinking rapidly hoping it'd improve it. Next time, We're taking a taxi/she'll have to crash at my apt(I live much closer to downtown) b/c I'm not driving again when I'm that tired. Sign that I was probably not fit to be driving. We walked a block and half past where I parked before we realized we'd gone too far. Got back home around 3am.

I set my alarm this morning to wake me up at 9am for choir. Forgot to turn it on...yeah so it didn't wake me up. Woke up groggily at 10am. Scrambled and still went to choir - in time to practice the pieces we sang today so it was ok.
This is all so stupid. Being so tired that I can barely function. I was thinking about taking a nap this afternoon after taking to my family around 430 but I just had to clean instead. Everywhere was disgusting to me and more than due for a cleaning. So I did the bathrm, kitchen and bedroom. All that's left is the living rm. Laudry will hold for another week. Still had clean sheets so at least I could change my bed.

Also cooked tonight - lamb stew - it was delicious.

Probably for the best that I didn't take a nap. Hopefully I won't have any trouble going to bed now. I'm taping "Brother's & Sisters" and will watch it tomorrow. My new goal is to be in bed by 10, lights out at 10:30. Any TV I want to watch at 10 will have to be taped. I usu end up falling asleep half-way through the show most of the time so this is a better plan for me.

Time for bed.

cold

Finally figured why my apt was so damn cold all the time...my windows were partially open at the top. Landlord told me that if i wanted to open the bottom window half-way or fully that I needed to prop up the top window or it would drop down and break. That's all he said to me. I interpret this to mean that I would only opne the windows less than half-way and everything should be fine. Right? NO! The top part of the stupid window opens a little whenever you opne the bottom part, even if you only open it 1/4 way or 1/8 of the way. I only realized this last Thurs b/c I cooked and needed to open the windows - yeah kinda heated the pan too high, burning eyes, etc....That's when I noticed for the first time that the top of the stupid window was open. On seeing that, I run around my apt checking every window - all open at the top. NO wonder, insects have been crawling in at their leisure. I've been wondering how they are getting in so frequently...they had an engraved invitation...open unscreened top windows everywhere and all. So I had to do major climbing up on step-stools and window sills to get the damn things closed completely. That night was the first time that the bathroom mirror fogged up after my shower.

Only problem now is that I don't have any control of the heat. He told me to turn it off when I was out. I tried. It'd been in the off position all weekend. I've woken up several times the past couple nights b/c it's been so hot - feels like I'm stiffling. I had to sleep with my fan directly on me last night to get relief. it all seems so ridiculous to me. There is only one "thermostat". A generous term for a box in my living room marked "Lo/Off/High". At my old apt, they turned on the heat from the main, and I could open or closed the gas valve for each of the room's radiators. Here, not so much. They are painted in place so I can't adjust any of them. Plus I get heat from the front and bottom apts as well. I guess there's just no pleasing me is there? Too cold. Too hot. This'll be a good thing one it gets really cold out.

Saw "The Departed" Sat night. It was interesting, kept my attention. Too much senseless killing for my taste but my friends said that's Scorcese's trademark. Then went out for coffee.

Going for my yearly physical with my regular doctor this week. I haven't seen her in 9mths. A lot of time, Since I saw her last, I've lost 7lbs, 2 1/2 inches on my waist. I've also been exercising 3-4times a week most weeks. Big changes. I was very ambivalent when she first suggested I take tablets for my "anxiety". anything else seemed preferable to that. As is I have to take several meds for my asthma twice a day, every day. Just wasn't prepared to take anything else. Therapy seemed preferable. It' helped me more than I thought it would. I also think the exercise helps a lot as well. I find it difficult to relax normally. When I exercise, my mind can turn off for that hr and I don't have to think or worry about anything else. It's helps me just be in that moment. I need that break. When I miss a few days without exercising - I notice the difference. And it's not a good difference.

Did yoga during my lunch hr at work. 4 of us were there today. It was great. Several of my muscles/joints cricked and cracked during the session but they are no worse for wear.
Tomorrow's boxing. I skipped last Thurs b/c I twisted my ankle - stepped on it funny while walking down stairs at work. Ridiculour I know. I've iced it for the past few nights. Still went for my am walk on Sat and it was a little tender but on the mend. In any event I hope my doc is impressed with my progress. I can tell her that she was right even though it took several months before I believed her.

Feel much better now all that is off my chest.