I've seen 5 of the movies currently in theaters. I'm out of control. Yeah I am b/c I was trying to have a movie budget. See 1 movie or so a month. I'm way past that now.
I've even seen one of them twice (harry potter). I don't usu buy anyting to eat, I eat before I go to see a movie most times and also sneak in my own bottled water so I'm really only paying for the ticket. But at $8.50-10/movie it adds up real fast.
I guess it's not such a big deal. It's not like I have kids or pets that are going without so I can see all these movies :) So what movies have i seen in the last month? (I know you're dying to know - all 2 of you :)
The Bourne Ultimatum was non-stop fast-paced action. My friend Z and I went. She and I both love Matty-Matt aka Matt Damon. If you blink during this movie you will miss stuff. We tried not to blink.
Becoming Jane was ok, not quite as good as I expected it to be from previews.
No Reservations - I kinda enjoyed this one, though C. Zeta Jones is "not at all vulnerable" as I think the character was in the original movie - which I plan to see soon. I think the chemistry between the 2 main characters took longer to develop than the story implies.
Ratatouille - a fun movie, even if you have an aversion to rats. They're almost cute in this movie and the main character is totally cute. I think he's cute b/c he's blue and less rat-like than a brown/black rat would be.
Sunshine - not my usual kind of movie. My friend S recommendation, it was better than I expected until the last 15-20 min. At that point it went from science fiction to slasher movie. Still don't get it.
Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix - I had to see this since I've seen all the others. I felt like stuff was missing though in a way different from the other movies. I'm inclined to read the book now. I haven't felt the need to read any of the other books before.
Wednesday, August 22
battle scars
I've been having trouble sleeping again. Last Fri I took the day off...mainly b/c most of my lab co-workers were also taking the day except for my boss and one other guy. Yeah, definitely a good call. Good thing too b/c I could not get to sleep. I spent most of last thurs night awake. I tried to get to sleep but couldn't. I didn't actually sleep until 5am Fri morning. I slept till 11am. Kind of a waste of a day off. I keep having these nights where I can't sleep at all or can't stay asleep and keep waking every couple hrs. I decided to take a couple tylenolPM last night since I also had a sinus headache. I took them at 7pm and by 9 I was really sleepy. So I went straight to bed. Woke up at 3am and didn't really nod off again until ~5am. Groggily woke up at 730am. Go to work at 8:40am. Later than I would like to.
It's only Wed and I'm exhausted. Had long meeting today and had to prepare/present slides - tons of bio data plus the structures of compounds tested. Took me a couple hrs to put them together - I'm not used to going through the database so it took me quite a while to find the info I needed and then arrange everything in Powerpoint. All in all, 8 slides. Luckily we only have to present once or twice a month. I am not cut out for staring at the computer for too long. I'd much rather be in lab even though most of that time I'm on my feet.
I took Benadryl last week at night b/c I had a major local reaction to my allergy shots. It knocked me right out at 7pm, woke up at 2am but went back to sleep shortly after that till my alarm. Woke up feeling groggy. Lately I've been having local reactions to my allergy shots, particularly the dust mites and mold ones. I get 3 shots every other week or so and the dose seems to have reached some sort of threshold for both of these. The 3rd shot is combo pollens one and that one is fine - no local reaction. Last week, I had to take Benadryl, my arm still had a huge hive on it for 2 days. Local reaction is kind of like a huge hive. They measure them in different degrees e.g size of a pea, a nickel, a quarter, a half-dollar. My latest reaction was 8cm across. They don't have a denomination for that. It was pretty knarly. Didn't stop me from showing all my friends like it was some kind of battle scar I was proud of :)
It's only Wed and I'm exhausted. Had long meeting today and had to prepare/present slides - tons of bio data plus the structures of compounds tested. Took me a couple hrs to put them together - I'm not used to going through the database so it took me quite a while to find the info I needed and then arrange everything in Powerpoint. All in all, 8 slides. Luckily we only have to present once or twice a month. I am not cut out for staring at the computer for too long. I'd much rather be in lab even though most of that time I'm on my feet.
I took Benadryl last week at night b/c I had a major local reaction to my allergy shots. It knocked me right out at 7pm, woke up at 2am but went back to sleep shortly after that till my alarm. Woke up feeling groggy. Lately I've been having local reactions to my allergy shots, particularly the dust mites and mold ones. I get 3 shots every other week or so and the dose seems to have reached some sort of threshold for both of these. The 3rd shot is combo pollens one and that one is fine - no local reaction. Last week, I had to take Benadryl, my arm still had a huge hive on it for 2 days. Local reaction is kind of like a huge hive. They measure them in different degrees e.g size of a pea, a nickel, a quarter, a half-dollar. My latest reaction was 8cm across. They don't have a denomination for that. It was pretty knarly. Didn't stop me from showing all my friends like it was some kind of battle scar I was proud of :)
too old for facebook
I think I am b/c I just don't understand why people want me to add them as friends when they have nothing to say to me...ever. Oh they say a quick hi when they want you to add them, then nothing. I don't get it. Maybe I'm just too old for this.
Tuesday, August 7
glass half-full again
I'm in a much better frame of mind now than I was when I wrote that last post. Getting it all out helped a bit, I think. My boss is on vacation this week so I'm dealling with his boss instead. She's much more reasonable and her suggestions make more sense than my boss usually does. He either doesn't understand me or he is unable to express himself in English enough to get his point across. When I'm looking for feedback, he asks me the dumbest, most irrelevant questions, instead of helping me address the issue(reaction) at hand. It's like pulling teeth sometimes. Enough. NO more talk of him. I'm just going to try to enjoy this week.
I'm still working on the difficult stuff but I've also gotten a few other targets to make that are similar to ones I've had success with in the past. I've gotten more done in the past 2 days than I did all last week. My motivation was virtually non-existent then. I find that I can get so much more done when I have 5-6 targets to make as opposed to just 1 or 2 sucky ones.
I did a couple paintings on the weekend, one is finished and the other is half-way done. The finished is not very good but I did it more as a distraction than anything else. It was good just to paint something. They both feature painted lines. I'm going to try to paint more, maybe 2-3 times a week. I think that'll also help me relax more - take my mind off of everything but the paint.
I'm still working on the difficult stuff but I've also gotten a few other targets to make that are similar to ones I've had success with in the past. I've gotten more done in the past 2 days than I did all last week. My motivation was virtually non-existent then. I find that I can get so much more done when I have 5-6 targets to make as opposed to just 1 or 2 sucky ones.
I did a couple paintings on the weekend, one is finished and the other is half-way done. The finished is not very good but I did it more as a distraction than anything else. It was good just to paint something. They both feature painted lines. I'm going to try to paint more, maybe 2-3 times a week. I think that'll also help me relax more - take my mind off of everything but the paint.
Sunday, August 5
basically screwed
Every 6 months we are supposed to have informal reviews of our work. For most people, this means a 5 min chat or sometimes even less and it is actually informal. Not for me, as usual my supervisor of the moment reserved a conference room for my "informal" review. And as usual, the same shit. I seem to be doing as expected of someone at my level. He mistakenly thought I have been there 3yrs instead of 5. HE should know. He's seen my other evaluations. Surely with only one person reporting to him, he should know that much. Also as usual, he said "someone" told me they think you talk to people too much, I don't have a problem with it, b/c you have to talk sometimes in lab. To make thinks "fun"...the first 3 months you were very productive but now your productivity has dropped off a bit and so maybe it might have something to do with that. What do you think of that?"
I told him that I'm not talking any more or less than usual. No more now than before when my rpoductivity was much higher. My current chemistry is difficult chemistry that has not been done before so of course it's taking me a while, plus it's a long, multi-step synthesis with shitty yields. Of course it'll take longer. I told him I would try and talk a bit less and he seemed satisfied with that.
I wonder if they say "someone told me they think you talk too much" when they really mean that they do. I could almost accept that. It's the whole idea of someone so vindictive that they want to get me in trouble so they go to my boss and say these things. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
I feel so trapped by this job. Every year I have to listen to this fucking shit from these morons. It wouldn't be so hard to take if maybe the fuckers had thought of promoting me like they have every other chemist at my level who started around the same time I did (some deserving and others who are complete morons without a lick of common sense). It'd be a little easier to swallow their shit. Basically, they want me be a different person. This makes me so angry, I want to scream sometimes. It also depresses me. I spend way less time than most on the phone/the internet/at lunch/on coffee breaks. That never seems to matter to these mofos. I can't just leave this job. For one thing, I can't afford to. For another, I'm not trained for anything else. Once my green card paperwork comes through, which could be anything from 6mths to 2yrs, I'm contracted to work for this company for at least 2 yrs after that. I could try to move to a different company at that point but I would just be exchanging these shit-eaters for new ones. Chemists as a whole are generally very similar with few exceptions, they tend to antisocial. I don't know if it's b/c many of them were teased/bullied in school, if that's why they're petty and mean-spirited-at least all the ones I've had as bosses have been.
Maybe, it'd also be easier to deal with if I had someone to talk to. Someone to call when I'm so overwhelmed and depressed that I can't relax enough to sleep. But I don't really have anyone to call. I do have a few friends here. That's true. I don't feel as if I can call anyone at this hour though. Or when I'm at work, I certainly can't call anyone from there to vent.
I just feel so alone most of the time. Every time I meet a guy I think likes me who I really like, nothing comes of it. NOTHING! Only the weirdos ever call or want another date.
I wish I didn't feel this way. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. Maybe I should call the psychologist I saw last year and make an appt.
I told him that I'm not talking any more or less than usual. No more now than before when my rpoductivity was much higher. My current chemistry is difficult chemistry that has not been done before so of course it's taking me a while, plus it's a long, multi-step synthesis with shitty yields. Of course it'll take longer. I told him I would try and talk a bit less and he seemed satisfied with that.
I wonder if they say "someone told me they think you talk too much" when they really mean that they do. I could almost accept that. It's the whole idea of someone so vindictive that they want to get me in trouble so they go to my boss and say these things. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
I feel so trapped by this job. Every year I have to listen to this fucking shit from these morons. It wouldn't be so hard to take if maybe the fuckers had thought of promoting me like they have every other chemist at my level who started around the same time I did (some deserving and others who are complete morons without a lick of common sense). It'd be a little easier to swallow their shit. Basically, they want me be a different person. This makes me so angry, I want to scream sometimes. It also depresses me. I spend way less time than most on the phone/the internet/at lunch/on coffee breaks. That never seems to matter to these mofos. I can't just leave this job. For one thing, I can't afford to. For another, I'm not trained for anything else. Once my green card paperwork comes through, which could be anything from 6mths to 2yrs, I'm contracted to work for this company for at least 2 yrs after that. I could try to move to a different company at that point but I would just be exchanging these shit-eaters for new ones. Chemists as a whole are generally very similar with few exceptions, they tend to antisocial. I don't know if it's b/c many of them were teased/bullied in school, if that's why they're petty and mean-spirited-at least all the ones I've had as bosses have been.
Maybe, it'd also be easier to deal with if I had someone to talk to. Someone to call when I'm so overwhelmed and depressed that I can't relax enough to sleep. But I don't really have anyone to call. I do have a few friends here. That's true. I don't feel as if I can call anyone at this hour though. Or when I'm at work, I certainly can't call anyone from there to vent.
I just feel so alone most of the time. Every time I meet a guy I think likes me who I really like, nothing comes of it. NOTHING! Only the weirdos ever call or want another date.
I wish I didn't feel this way. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. Maybe I should call the psychologist I saw last year and make an appt.
Sunday, July 29
new meds
I'm trying out a new medication Symbicort for a couple weeks to see how well my body can tolerate it. I'm hoping not to have the same horrible reactions that I had to Advair the last time I tried the combo-meds. If I can use it without substantial side effects it'll make my life a little easier. Especially when I travel to England for my sister's wedding in September. It'll be much less hassle if I don't have to explain that I need to keep some of my meds cold (foradil - needs to be refigerated). Plus I'd also need to have both my flovent(corticosteroid) and albuterol(emergency) inhalers and my rhinocort plus all their prescription boxes with me in additon to my zantac 150. I need to take all of these 2x every day. I missed one morning of taking my zantac and felt really ill for the next 2 days. The burning from the reflux was just awful. I don't imagine that I'll be able to stop taking it anytime soon. This is my life. At least I have a decent prescription plan at work else I wouldn't be able to afford most of my meds. So I'm thankful for that.
I've had a couple hand cramping incidents which lasted about 3-4seconds each in the last week that I've been on the Symbicort. Not ideal but not as bad as with the Advair inhaler I was on a while back. So I'm going to keep taking it for another week and see how it goes.
I've had a couple hand cramping incidents which lasted about 3-4seconds each in the last week that I've been on the Symbicort. Not ideal but not as bad as with the Advair inhaler I was on a while back. So I'm going to keep taking it for another week and see how it goes.
just a little crush
Still crushing(am I too old to be even using this word?) on AK aka my boy-toy. Ok, so he's not really my boy-toy but he could be if he wanted to. I've been trying to be real cool and casual and not freak him out by telling him this. A good thing, right? I'm insane. I must be to be entertaining ideas about this boy/man. What else can you call a 22yr-old guy...when you're 32. We had this conversation a while back...it started with me talking about what I did for my last birthday...
AK: so...how old are you now?
Me: guess
AK: 25?
Me: Nope
AK: 26
Me: Not any more
AK: older than 26, ok, 27?
Me: No, I'm 32
AK: 32?...32!...c'mon you're making that up
Me: why would I make up an age older than I am?
AK: Wow, 32, I would have thought 25 for sure. 32...32...
Me: Alright enough ok. Just think of me as 25
AK: I can't anymore, now 32's stuck in my head...
He hasn't brought it up since (else I may have had to deck him)
He and I spent a really fun day hanging out together at our company's picnic. From time to time, I forget that he's 22 and then he opens his mouth and says something really juvenile and I remember. I've told him this. He laughed and said "that's kinda cool, people normally tell me I look 17". This is the crux of my problem.
I'm pretty sure that he's not interested in me and if he was before he found out how old I am, he's not anymore. This should make me feel better but it only depresses me.
AK: so...how old are you now?
Me: guess
AK: 25?
Me: Nope
AK: 26
Me: Not any more
AK: older than 26, ok, 27?
Me: No, I'm 32
AK: 32?...32!...c'mon you're making that up
Me: why would I make up an age older than I am?
AK: Wow, 32, I would have thought 25 for sure. 32...32...
Me: Alright enough ok. Just think of me as 25
AK: I can't anymore, now 32's stuck in my head...
He hasn't brought it up since (else I may have had to deck him)
He and I spent a really fun day hanging out together at our company's picnic. From time to time, I forget that he's 22 and then he opens his mouth and says something really juvenile and I remember. I've told him this. He laughed and said "that's kinda cool, people normally tell me I look 17". This is the crux of my problem.
I'm pretty sure that he's not interested in me and if he was before he found out how old I am, he's not anymore. This should make me feel better but it only depresses me.
AAARRRGGGHHH!
Have not been in the mood to blog of late. Just so tired and worn out at night after work, many nights I don't even turn my pc on.
My chemistry has been real crap lately. I've been trying to make a couple targets that are 10-12 steps each and usually around the 10th step or so things start looking really bad. Yields are horrible and get worse with each subsequent reaction. I had to explain this to my supervisor on Thurs. I actually knew Wed night but decided to put off telling him till Thur. Also took 1/2 day off on Fri. He wants me to show him all my analytical data for every reaction. As if I'm new and have only been here a few months. Maybe he thinks my yields will improve just by him looking at it. Frankly, I doubt it.
If he does a reaction and it doesn't work well or at all, then it's impossible. If I do a reaction several times and get the same crappy yields each time, then I must be doing something wrong. Unfortunately for me, he's one of those freaks who gets stuff to work that no one else gets to work using the same conditions that were used.
I've been keeping the bastard updated with almost every step. I told him how much material I had going into the last couple steps (which don't really work). I think that it's that particular substrate, not me, that is the real problem. Still he told me, "oh if you only have such a small amt you shouldn't have wasted time continuing". I told him what I was doing and he must not have been listening. I have had 6 supervisors in my 5yrs at this company only 2 of which spoke English as a first language. Why me? is all I can think. Why me? Mostly I think that when I'm feeling sorry for myself as I have this past week. I also think - WTF? frequently. And also - why the f doesn't he leave me the f alone? :-)
I have 3 or 4 other targets assigned to me which they haven't figured out how I'm going to make yet. The ones I'm doing now are supposed to be the easier ones. I am so screwed. I've been very depressed all week. I finally got a small amt of this stupid compound shipped out after working on it for 6 wks. I really wanted to take the whole day off on Fri but figured I might as well go in in the am to check my other reaction(and confirm that it's still not clean after 2 attempts at purifying it).I'm tired of these shit-targets, none of which have been promising in testing, yet we still continue to try to make more variations of them. Sadly, I don't make these decisions...I just try to do what I'm told.
Half-days mean we only have to work 4hrs. So at noon I got the hell out of there. I actually went to the gym and did my weight routine. I've noticed that on the days I exercise, I'm actually able to sleep and sleep well. So I'm trying.
Plus after a work-physical, I've found out that my cholesterol is borderline high. So I'm trying to exercise more and eat a little less portion-wise. My Mum has very high cholesterol which she's controlling with medication so it's in my genes I guess. Also, I'm a bit overweight for my height. Maybe. I'm not entirely convinced about this. I'd just like to lose some/most of the belly/back fat, be more toned and fit. So I'm trying a new regimen where I eat a little less and exercise more. I'm trying for walking 30min 4 days a week + weights 2x/week. That's my goal. Last week I managed to walk 2 days and weights 2 days so I'm getting there. Just have to stick with it.
My chemistry has been real crap lately. I've been trying to make a couple targets that are 10-12 steps each and usually around the 10th step or so things start looking really bad. Yields are horrible and get worse with each subsequent reaction. I had to explain this to my supervisor on Thurs. I actually knew Wed night but decided to put off telling him till Thur. Also took 1/2 day off on Fri. He wants me to show him all my analytical data for every reaction. As if I'm new and have only been here a few months. Maybe he thinks my yields will improve just by him looking at it. Frankly, I doubt it.
If he does a reaction and it doesn't work well or at all, then it's impossible. If I do a reaction several times and get the same crappy yields each time, then I must be doing something wrong. Unfortunately for me, he's one of those freaks who gets stuff to work that no one else gets to work using the same conditions that were used.
I've been keeping the bastard updated with almost every step. I told him how much material I had going into the last couple steps (which don't really work). I think that it's that particular substrate, not me, that is the real problem. Still he told me, "oh if you only have such a small amt you shouldn't have wasted time continuing". I told him what I was doing and he must not have been listening. I have had 6 supervisors in my 5yrs at this company only 2 of which spoke English as a first language. Why me? is all I can think. Why me? Mostly I think that when I'm feeling sorry for myself as I have this past week. I also think - WTF? frequently. And also - why the f doesn't he leave me the f alone? :-)
I have 3 or 4 other targets assigned to me which they haven't figured out how I'm going to make yet. The ones I'm doing now are supposed to be the easier ones. I am so screwed. I've been very depressed all week. I finally got a small amt of this stupid compound shipped out after working on it for 6 wks. I really wanted to take the whole day off on Fri but figured I might as well go in in the am to check my other reaction(and confirm that it's still not clean after 2 attempts at purifying it).I'm tired of these shit-targets, none of which have been promising in testing, yet we still continue to try to make more variations of them. Sadly, I don't make these decisions...I just try to do what I'm told.
Half-days mean we only have to work 4hrs. So at noon I got the hell out of there. I actually went to the gym and did my weight routine. I've noticed that on the days I exercise, I'm actually able to sleep and sleep well. So I'm trying.
Plus after a work-physical, I've found out that my cholesterol is borderline high. So I'm trying to exercise more and eat a little less portion-wise. My Mum has very high cholesterol which she's controlling with medication so it's in my genes I guess. Also, I'm a bit overweight for my height. Maybe. I'm not entirely convinced about this. I'd just like to lose some/most of the belly/back fat, be more toned and fit. So I'm trying a new regimen where I eat a little less and exercise more. I'm trying for walking 30min 4 days a week + weights 2x/week. That's my goal. Last week I managed to walk 2 days and weights 2 days so I'm getting there. Just have to stick with it.
Wednesday, July 4
why I'm still single
It's impractical and somewhat embarrassing. Almost illegal, well not quite but it feels like it should be. I know there's no future. He's 22. Maybe if I keep telling myself this, it'll just go away. I know it but I can't quite let go of these feelings I have for A. I'm 10yrs older than him. But he's cute and funny and quick-witted and tall but not too tall. I am very attracted to him. There I said it. We look closer in age but that's only b/c I look ~8yrs younger than I am. He's a young-looking 22. I figured that these feelings, this silly crush would go away soon. But it hasn't. Even if he was interested in me, it's not going anywhere. It can't. Can you imagine him telling his mother that he's dating a woman 10yrs older. What kind of a freak would that make me seem like? Truly not worth considering.
Why am I concerned? I really shouldn't be. As long as I don't do or say anything impulsive or stupid...like ask if he wants to have lunch sometime or dinner or whatever. As long as I don't do that, he's probably going to do what almost every other guy I'm met and liked have done - NOTHING. And eventually my feelings fizzle and I can move on with my life. Any day now...still waiting.
I bumped into the EB aka the Dimwit Stalker at the grocery store a couple days ago. In the light of day, he looks old enough to be my father. I think he lied about being 34 or 36 or however old he claimed to be. I don't recall. If he didn't lie he's a very old looking guy. He again insisted that he's "not a bad guy", I simply "misunderstood". Once again I had to explain myself. WTF! Again I told him that I shouldn't have to explain. He also said that "when you have time, drop me an email, as friends, so we can keep in touch". Yeah, right. What is wrong with this guy. How many ways/words do I need to explain that I'm not interested. To explain that no I don't want to be his anything...not his friend...not his girlfriend...certainly not his future wife. I think much of what I say must be lost in translation.
This is what happens when you decide to go out on 2nd date with a guy you are really not attracted to. No more. I am never again going out with a guy just b/c he asks/seems like a nice guy/etc if I'm not attracted to him. I'm just going to say no and be done with it. Could have saved myself a ton of aggravation. So now I have to avoid that grocery as well even though it's the closest to my apt (5min away).
Just the other day I was remarking to Z "it's strange that in such a small place as where we live that I've not bumped into any of the guys I've dated. No a bad thing but still." Not that I want to see them and be forced into awkward conversations with them. Or that there have been that many (can count on my hands and have fingers left over).
To the same friend Z, that I was talking to before, I also confessed that except for the dimwit stalker, I've only dated guys younger than me. Strange but true.
This, in a nutshell, is why I'm still single at 32. The only men who talk to me look 50 or 19. I will not date a man who looks old enough to be my father. My father does not look like he's 60 but he is. I will also not be dating anymore 19yr-olds. Been there, done that, saw the movie, bought the t-shirt and the game. :)
Or guys who look 19 or act like they're 19. You get the picture.
Why am I concerned? I really shouldn't be. As long as I don't do or say anything impulsive or stupid...like ask if he wants to have lunch sometime or dinner or whatever. As long as I don't do that, he's probably going to do what almost every other guy I'm met and liked have done - NOTHING. And eventually my feelings fizzle and I can move on with my life. Any day now...still waiting.
I bumped into the EB aka the Dimwit Stalker at the grocery store a couple days ago. In the light of day, he looks old enough to be my father. I think he lied about being 34 or 36 or however old he claimed to be. I don't recall. If he didn't lie he's a very old looking guy. He again insisted that he's "not a bad guy", I simply "misunderstood". Once again I had to explain myself. WTF! Again I told him that I shouldn't have to explain. He also said that "when you have time, drop me an email, as friends, so we can keep in touch". Yeah, right. What is wrong with this guy. How many ways/words do I need to explain that I'm not interested. To explain that no I don't want to be his anything...not his friend...not his girlfriend...certainly not his future wife. I think much of what I say must be lost in translation.
This is what happens when you decide to go out on 2nd date with a guy you are really not attracted to. No more. I am never again going out with a guy just b/c he asks/seems like a nice guy/etc if I'm not attracted to him. I'm just going to say no and be done with it. Could have saved myself a ton of aggravation. So now I have to avoid that grocery as well even though it's the closest to my apt (5min away).
Just the other day I was remarking to Z "it's strange that in such a small place as where we live that I've not bumped into any of the guys I've dated. No a bad thing but still." Not that I want to see them and be forced into awkward conversations with them. Or that there have been that many (can count on my hands and have fingers left over).
To the same friend Z, that I was talking to before, I also confessed that except for the dimwit stalker, I've only dated guys younger than me. Strange but true.
This, in a nutshell, is why I'm still single at 32. The only men who talk to me look 50 or 19. I will not date a man who looks old enough to be my father. My father does not look like he's 60 but he is. I will also not be dating anymore 19yr-olds. Been there, done that, saw the movie, bought the t-shirt and the game. :)
Or guys who look 19 or act like they're 19. You get the picture.
Monday, July 2
rain and heat
Last Wed I drove through the worse rain storm ever - should probably have waited it out at work but I was more concerned with getting home so my landlord could put my air-conditioner in the window(it weighs ~100lbs so no way I can do it myself). My apt has been between 84-90° and I wasn't able to sleep well at all. I kept waking up every couple hrs. After 3 days days of this, I was pretty desperate.
It was a horrible drive, the thunder was scary loud and the lightning wouldn't quit. Add to that the poor visibility. What made things worse was that I turned down a side street on my way home and ended up in about 3 1/2 feet of water. I've never seen that much water before on a street except on TV.
A couple cars were stuck in the middle of the road ahead of me. 2 people were wading through it and I was stuck. Several cars were lined up behind me, couldn't reverse. Tons of water in front of me, just had to go though it. I prayed and prayed that my car would keep going. At one point, a large SUV drove past me in the opposite direction and a full wave of water gushed over my car. It was really scary. Finally after an hr I got home - it usu takes 15-20min. Luckily my street is on higher ground. At that point, the rain had died down to a mere drizzle. I got inside and within 5min, it started pouring again outside. I was afraid that my landlord would change his mind about coming by with all the rain but he didn't. He came over and finally I can sleep at night.
When I turned on the AC, I set it at 78° and it groaned and kept making a racket - I think it was too hot for it to keep up. So I raised the setting to 82° and it quieted down a bit. My apt was so hot that the water in Timmy's tank got to be ~86°. His water is supposed to be 78-80 so that he can cool himself down when he needs to and warm himself up by coming out to his basking down which is about 90°(with the basking lamp).
M (who gave me Timmy) and K both think I've been changing Timmy's tank water excessively. Well, they've implied this. I just want him to have a clean tank, is all. I was thinking of getting a pleco - as Matt had suggested - to take care of any algae. But there isn't much algae for a pleco to live on, what with me changing 20-30% of his tank water once a week and 80% every other week. It's not like I have anything better to do. This way, you can't tell that I have a turtle by the smell. Personally the smell grosses me out so it makes more sense for me to change his water water often than to wait until it starts smelling. I've only smelled that smell once and that was enough for me.
Timmy has gotten used to me now and comes right up to my hands when I'm doing his water changes. he's very curious :) He also comes out as soon as I turn off his filter. I've gotten him accustomed to a routine:
-I wake up and turn on his basking lamp
-Turn off his filter
-As soon as it goes off, he comes out of hiding and starts looking around, sticking his head out of the water
-Then I feed him, he usu looks around for a while longer hoping for more food
-Then I turn on his UV lamp and put the filter back on. As soon as he hears/senses the filter, he goes back to hide/hang out in his tree.
As you may have realized by now, I love Timmy :)
It was a horrible drive, the thunder was scary loud and the lightning wouldn't quit. Add to that the poor visibility. What made things worse was that I turned down a side street on my way home and ended up in about 3 1/2 feet of water. I've never seen that much water before on a street except on TV.
A couple cars were stuck in the middle of the road ahead of me. 2 people were wading through it and I was stuck. Several cars were lined up behind me, couldn't reverse. Tons of water in front of me, just had to go though it. I prayed and prayed that my car would keep going. At one point, a large SUV drove past me in the opposite direction and a full wave of water gushed over my car. It was really scary. Finally after an hr I got home - it usu takes 15-20min. Luckily my street is on higher ground. At that point, the rain had died down to a mere drizzle. I got inside and within 5min, it started pouring again outside. I was afraid that my landlord would change his mind about coming by with all the rain but he didn't. He came over and finally I can sleep at night.
When I turned on the AC, I set it at 78° and it groaned and kept making a racket - I think it was too hot for it to keep up. So I raised the setting to 82° and it quieted down a bit. My apt was so hot that the water in Timmy's tank got to be ~86°. His water is supposed to be 78-80 so that he can cool himself down when he needs to and warm himself up by coming out to his basking down which is about 90°(with the basking lamp).
M (who gave me Timmy) and K both think I've been changing Timmy's tank water excessively. Well, they've implied this. I just want him to have a clean tank, is all. I was thinking of getting a pleco - as Matt had suggested - to take care of any algae. But there isn't much algae for a pleco to live on, what with me changing 20-30% of his tank water once a week and 80% every other week. It's not like I have anything better to do. This way, you can't tell that I have a turtle by the smell. Personally the smell grosses me out so it makes more sense for me to change his water water often than to wait until it starts smelling. I've only smelled that smell once and that was enough for me.
Timmy has gotten used to me now and comes right up to my hands when I'm doing his water changes. he's very curious :) He also comes out as soon as I turn off his filter. I've gotten him accustomed to a routine:
-I wake up and turn on his basking lamp
-Turn off his filter
-As soon as it goes off, he comes out of hiding and starts looking around, sticking his head out of the water
-Then I feed him, he usu looks around for a while longer hoping for more food
-Then I turn on his UV lamp and put the filter back on. As soon as he hears/senses the filter, he goes back to hide/hang out in his tree.
As you may have realized by now, I love Timmy :)
Timmaayyy...
...because I know you can't get enough of him...I also subject my friends and co-workers to the many facets of Timmy :) I'm trying to cut back ;)
...next to my phone for size
...hanging ten
...looking for more food
...trying to figure out why I'm taking pics instead of dropping food in his tank
..ready for his close-up
...next to my phone for size
...hanging ten
...looking for more food
...trying to figure out why I'm taking pics instead of dropping food in his tank
..ready for his close-up
Sunday, June 17
More Timmy Pics
I found him like this just before I dropped the feeder fish in.
This is his latest hiding spot - see the biggest fish below him, that's the one he ate first.
You can see the suction cups at the top that he popped out so he could fit behind the posts of his dock.
One week with Timmy
I never realized before how much joy having a pet could bring. I bought Timmy(my turtle) a few feeder fish - I planned to only get 2 but the sales girl was having trouble just getting 2 of them out of the tank so I just said I'd take the 4. They're only 10c each. Well I put them all in Timmy's tank. After a couple hrs the biggest one (which I thought was too big for Timmy) started looking pretty bad - it was swimming really slowly then just lying on the bottom with only its gills moving, then it'd swim for a little while. I usu let the tap water I pour into Timmy's tank sit for a while before pouring it in to allow most of the chlorine to diffuse out. I don't use any water conditioners so I'm not surprised that the fish had a hard time. I figured I'd wait to see if it started floating on top then I'd just take it out - I didn't think it was small enough for Timmy anyway. After another hr, I looked in the tank and the fish was gone. Gone. Eaten by Timmy. I checked and there wasn't anything left of it anywhere in the tank. So I took the other 3 out b/c I didn't want him to eat anymore that day - he'd already been fed that morning and ate that big fish at night. So the next morning, I dropped one of them in his tank along with his usual pellets(usu 4 little ones), but he didn't seem at all interested in the pellets. I was a little concerned when I came after 15min and saw the pellets still there. Then I remembered that he'd feasted on that big fish. I guess he was full. When I got home that night, the fish in there was gone too. The next morning, I only put 2 pellets in there for him.
Timmy usu hides when I approach his tank and doesn't eat until I move away out of sight. But today I decided to just stand there and see what he'd do - they're supposed to get accustomed to being out around the person who feeds them.
He swam around for a while, then swam to his food (3 pellets + 1 mini shrimp) and gobbled them up one after the other. I didn't realize that he'd eat them that fast. Then he swam right out in front of me, looking for more I guess, then he assumed his usual hiding spot under his basking ramp. He came out briefly to sit on top of the ramp but when I turned around to peak at him (his tank is directly behind my computer chair) he dived to his usu spot. Still , we're making progress b/c he ate with me standing right there. Soon he might also stay on his ramp even when he notices me watching. Some turtles are more shy than other and never get over it enough to bask when you're around. But that's ok.
Timmy usu hides when I approach his tank and doesn't eat until I move away out of sight. But today I decided to just stand there and see what he'd do - they're supposed to get accustomed to being out around the person who feeds them.
He swam around for a while, then swam to his food (3 pellets + 1 mini shrimp) and gobbled them up one after the other. I didn't realize that he'd eat them that fast. Then he swam right out in front of me, looking for more I guess, then he assumed his usual hiding spot under his basking ramp. He came out briefly to sit on top of the ramp but when I turned around to peak at him (his tank is directly behind my computer chair) he dived to his usu spot. Still , we're making progress b/c he ate with me standing right there. Soon he might also stay on his ramp even when he notices me watching. Some turtles are more shy than other and never get over it enough to bask when you're around. But that's ok.
Tuesday, June 12
Pet Pictures
That's Timmy trying to climb behind the posts for his basking dock. He has managed to pop out the suction cups at the top so that he can fit behind the posts for the dock-that's his new fav spot. I've tried putting them back in place but he manages to pop them out in no time so I just leave it that way now.
This is the full set-up of his tank - his main hiding spot is behind the black filter on the bottom right of his tank.
My turtle
I got a tank, filter, screen, and other accessories for my new turtle and had it all set up and working for my new pet turtle last night - His full name: Timothy The Turtle aka Timmy T. Turtle or Timmmmy (in my South Park voice). I decided on the name last week. My friends agree that it's a good name for my turtle.
I brought him home tonight. Got him settled in his new home. At first he just hid behind one of the rocks. Then he was trying to get to the surface to breathe and the basking dock was in the way - I almost had a heart attack watching him. I was just about to open the screen to take him out but then he swam around it and was about to breathe. He's fine. I have the tank half-full to accommodate the small filter. I had to move the filter a couple times as Timmy kept swimming too close to the spout and was then pushed back by the filter current. I turned his basking lamp on and when I peaked at him he had climbed on top but as soon as he noticed me he dived back in the water and hid between the rocks. His other fav hiding place is behind the filter. I 'm glad he got up on the dock, I was afraid it might be too much for him as he's so little but he's fine. I think he likes his new home. I'm happy.
I brought him home tonight. Got him settled in his new home. At first he just hid behind one of the rocks. Then he was trying to get to the surface to breathe and the basking dock was in the way - I almost had a heart attack watching him. I was just about to open the screen to take him out but then he swam around it and was about to breathe. He's fine. I have the tank half-full to accommodate the small filter. I had to move the filter a couple times as Timmy kept swimming too close to the spout and was then pushed back by the filter current. I turned his basking lamp on and when I peaked at him he had climbed on top but as soon as he noticed me he dived back in the water and hid between the rocks. His other fav hiding place is behind the filter. I 'm glad he got up on the dock, I was afraid it might be too much for him as he's so little but he's fine. I think he likes his new home. I'm happy.
Saturday, May 26
why I have to move again
Though I'm not quite up to moving again emotionally, I fear that I'll lose my sanity if I don't. If it was just one thing, maybe I'd not even consider it but there are just too many things that are not right.
The Cons of staying:
- apt cold even though heat is supposedly included in my rent(now it's too hot)
- neighbor downstairs screams at her kids at all hours of the day and night
- said kids scream(like someone is killing them) at all hours of day or night
- said kids run up and down at all hours
- neighbor also snores really loudly at night(I've lost quite a bit of sleep b/c of this)
- I'm uncomfortable telling my stupid neighbors to quiet down when they get too loud b/c said neighbor is the same guy my landlord asked me to leave my back door open for so he can fix the plumbing - don't really want to piss them off
- I got another stupid parking ticket (my 4th since living here)
- there's a weird "moldy" smell in my living room which I can't locate (I've looked and cleaned and moved eveything in that section of the room to no avail - and can only imagine that maybe it's from the guy next door as we share the wall where the smell emanates from. Either that or the mold is in the wall. Ewwww!
- whenever it rains, my bathrm develops a mildewy/moldy smell for a couple days (which I only notice now b/c they never fully put the floor back in...from when they had to fix the leak they caused when they were replacing old iron pipe - all b/c I wanted the water from my bathrm sink to come out at more than a trickle...this lead to a cascade of events leaving me with a partially patched up wall(which they had to remove to replace the pipes after they discovered the leaks) under the sink and a partially covered bathrm floor
- bathrm floor cannot get wet (or so the landlord has told me, neither can the kitchen floor. Why would anyone sane replace the flooring in the 2 places most likely to get wet, with some kind of laminate flooring that "can't get wet" is beyond my understanding.
- they still need to "fix" the pipe from the kitchen which runs through the bathroom (they need to pull out the radiator in the bathrm for this, they plan to do this with me in residence)
- the expense of moving again(though I have had firm offers of help so maybe it won't be nearly as costly as it was last time when I hired movers)
The Pros of moving:
- quiet neighbors (one can hope)
- guaranteed parking = no more stupid parking tickets because they recently changed a stupid sign on your street and a stupid overly large SUV was parked in front of you, blocking the new stupid sign which you would have noticed if stupid SUV wasn't in front of you. can also blame stupid SUV b/c it was stupidly parked in such a way that it was hell fitting into the spot behind it, thereby distracting me enough so that I forgot "no parking Tues night". Phooey.
- heat in winter
- normal sized bathroom(you cannot imagine how small my current one is)
- bigger closets (hopefully)
- maybe even a dishwasher
- no mysterious "moldy/mildewy" smells
- affordable
Does it not sound like I need to move?
The Cons of staying:
- apt cold even though heat is supposedly included in my rent(now it's too hot)
- neighbor downstairs screams at her kids at all hours of the day and night
- said kids scream(like someone is killing them) at all hours of day or night
- said kids run up and down at all hours
- neighbor also snores really loudly at night(I've lost quite a bit of sleep b/c of this)
- I'm uncomfortable telling my stupid neighbors to quiet down when they get too loud b/c said neighbor is the same guy my landlord asked me to leave my back door open for so he can fix the plumbing - don't really want to piss them off
- I got another stupid parking ticket (my 4th since living here)
- there's a weird "moldy" smell in my living room which I can't locate (I've looked and cleaned and moved eveything in that section of the room to no avail - and can only imagine that maybe it's from the guy next door as we share the wall where the smell emanates from. Either that or the mold is in the wall. Ewwww!
- whenever it rains, my bathrm develops a mildewy/moldy smell for a couple days (which I only notice now b/c they never fully put the floor back in...from when they had to fix the leak they caused when they were replacing old iron pipe - all b/c I wanted the water from my bathrm sink to come out at more than a trickle...this lead to a cascade of events leaving me with a partially patched up wall(which they had to remove to replace the pipes after they discovered the leaks) under the sink and a partially covered bathrm floor
- bathrm floor cannot get wet (or so the landlord has told me, neither can the kitchen floor. Why would anyone sane replace the flooring in the 2 places most likely to get wet, with some kind of laminate flooring that "can't get wet" is beyond my understanding.
- they still need to "fix" the pipe from the kitchen which runs through the bathroom (they need to pull out the radiator in the bathrm for this, they plan to do this with me in residence)
- the expense of moving again(though I have had firm offers of help so maybe it won't be nearly as costly as it was last time when I hired movers)
The Pros of moving:
- quiet neighbors (one can hope)
- guaranteed parking = no more stupid parking tickets because they recently changed a stupid sign on your street and a stupid overly large SUV was parked in front of you, blocking the new stupid sign which you would have noticed if stupid SUV wasn't in front of you. can also blame stupid SUV b/c it was stupidly parked in such a way that it was hell fitting into the spot behind it, thereby distracting me enough so that I forgot "no parking Tues night". Phooey.
- heat in winter
- normal sized bathroom(you cannot imagine how small my current one is)
- bigger closets (hopefully)
- maybe even a dishwasher
- no mysterious "moldy/mildewy" smells
- affordable
Does it not sound like I need to move?
another week
This week didn't start out great but all in all was a good week. Had a slight mix-up with a few compounds I was shipping and recheck/rerun several pieces of data to be sure I had them labeled correctly. I did, thank goodness but I had to check to be certain. My job depends greatly on accuracy and certainty. If stuff goes awry, you need to be able to say that you are 100% certain of things. I was glad I checked and made sure.
My supervisor was his usu surly self but his boss(B2)and his boss's boss (B3) both gave me several compliments this week. I shipped out 4 compounds last week, have 4 going next week and 4 will be ready to go the week after that. I've been working a little extra to get the work done since I was supposed to shift to new targets soon. Anyhoo, they were both impressed with my progress and felt that I had done a great job and shipped the compounds out in record time. It was really nice to have those compliments repeated. Usually when I make a mistake, I have to listen to my boss, B2 and B3 (job culture = hierarchy, chain of command) all tell me about my error and how I should take care not to repeat it in the future, and the steps I need to take to avoid it in the future. So it's nice to have compliments repeated in the same vain.
My group went to lunch this week to say farewell to a co-worker(moved to another project) - I wasn't going to have dessert b/c no one else seemed to want it. Then B3 said, if you want it, get it, you deserve it, you've been working hard (usually the most senior manager there picks up the tab for our group lunches). How cool is that? So I had triple layer chocolate cake. Pretty good cake.
In other news...I'm getting a turtle. For real this time. My friend has one reserved for me (his turtles layed eggs and he incubated them and several of them hatched and are doing well). So now I have to get a tank and stuff for it. I'm so excited. I haven't asked my landlord. I've decided to move again. See "why I have to move again"
My supervisor was his usu surly self but his boss(B2)and his boss's boss (B3) both gave me several compliments this week. I shipped out 4 compounds last week, have 4 going next week and 4 will be ready to go the week after that. I've been working a little extra to get the work done since I was supposed to shift to new targets soon. Anyhoo, they were both impressed with my progress and felt that I had done a great job and shipped the compounds out in record time. It was really nice to have those compliments repeated. Usually when I make a mistake, I have to listen to my boss, B2 and B3 (job culture = hierarchy, chain of command) all tell me about my error and how I should take care not to repeat it in the future, and the steps I need to take to avoid it in the future. So it's nice to have compliments repeated in the same vain.
My group went to lunch this week to say farewell to a co-worker(moved to another project) - I wasn't going to have dessert b/c no one else seemed to want it. Then B3 said, if you want it, get it, you deserve it, you've been working hard (usually the most senior manager there picks up the tab for our group lunches). How cool is that? So I had triple layer chocolate cake. Pretty good cake.
In other news...I'm getting a turtle. For real this time. My friend has one reserved for me (his turtles layed eggs and he incubated them and several of them hatched and are doing well). So now I have to get a tank and stuff for it. I'm so excited. I haven't asked my landlord. I've decided to move again. See "why I have to move again"
Sunday, May 20
stranger than me
Tonight I rented "Stranger Than Fiction"(STF). I saw it in the cinema but was in the mood for it again tonight. Went to the video store to choose a movie for tonight - I had one free movie coupon left (from reward point from a credit card). I was determined to borrow a movie I hadn't seen before. My choices..."the last king of scotland" or "the good shepherd". I wasn't really in the mood for either of those movies, even though I do want to see them eventually. Felt like something more upbeat and funny. So I went with STF. Such a great movie. The only thing is that when I first saw this movie - I went with several friends. We had horrible seats in the nosebleed section, partly due to the fact that there were 6 of us, we were late and it was opening weekend and the place was packed. Anyhoo, one of the friends with me was C. And I had such a great time watching the movie with him next to me. He and I laughed at many of the same things (that most other ppl weren't laughing at). He was very touchy-feely. Not inappropriately, he only touched my hand or arm from time to time. I liked it, a lot. And later we went for coffee and hung out for a while with a couple other friends. He sat next to me again and seemed so into me. It was a very good night, at least I thought it was. I was sure he'd call soon for us to hang again. He even suggested it himself to me that night. But then...nothing. No calls from him, nothing. This was back in December I think. He hasn't called me since. Several times I started dialing his number but bailed at the last minute before it goes through. Then I recently saw his ad on yahoo personals...for someone other than me...much younger than me...any race but black. I'd almost forgotten about that night. Guess I was trying to block it out b/c it's tied to the other not-so-good stuff.
So there's this guy at the gym who I thought was kinda cute but he seemed shy. I don't have much patience for the shy. I just don't. Anyhoo, finally he comes over to me and talks to me at the gym for quite some time (while I worked out on 3 different machines). So I figure, the next time he sees me, he's going to ask for my number at the very least or ask me out...maybe for drinks or coffee sometime. Well, I was wrong again. I swear, sometimes my love-life (or lack thereof) is a like a country-western song. 5 times now he has come over to talk to me. Does he expect to learn all about me without even paying for a coffee. What am I supposed to think? That he's interested? Or that he's not interested? Whatever I'm supposed to think...what I think now is that he's a weirdo. One of my friends told me I should ask him out for coffee. But I fear if I do this, it'll only confirm my suspicions that he's a weirdo and then I'll end up having to give him that awkward "I'm just not interested in you" talk b/c I was the one who asked him out first.
The other weird thing is that I saw him tonight. Not at the gym(cause you know there's no way I'm going there on a sun), but at the gas station where I decided to go fill up my tank before going to get my movie (the gas station is next door). The weird thing is that he was there at all b/c he lives far away from there (at least 15min or more) whereas I live 5 min from there. The gas is cheaper there than at most stations and he drives an Audi which needs premium grade so maybe it's worth it to him to drive that far. I always wonder about people driving around (wasting gas) to find the cheapest gas. Surely it'd be cheaper to get gas closest to you than to drive further for it. imho, but what do I know. From our conversations...where he never asks me for my number or asks me out...I don't think we have much in common other than the fact that our parents are from the same country. Plus with every meeting, he's becoming less cute and more weird. He totally came up behind me at the gym the other day and I was like "whoa, don't sneak up on me". What does he think? that we have thing now? That he can get into my personal space and I'd be ok with that. Maybe I'm the one who's weird. I just don't think this guy is it.
I have a totally inappropriate crush on a guy at work - he's 22. I'm sure it'll pass. He's funny and and sarcastic and so quick-witted. And 22. I try not to visit his lab anymore so I don't see him much. This is for the best. I couldn't even think about dating this guy ever. Even if he was interested in someone 10 yrs older. He's way too young. Plus, he's a co-worker in my former lab and that would just make me fodder for the rumor mills. Who needs that? I sure don't. I only bring this up b/c I was telling T while we were out at lunch about my crush. Well I started to say " I think my crush is fading, this is good". She said "oooh, the guy from the gym?" And I was like "not him, no way, he's barely even cute anymore, I don't have a crush on him at all. I was talking about a guy here at work". I planned to keep his name to myself for as long as possible. Well until the crush goes away completely. Any day now, it's bound to happen.
I just don't know what to think or do about this guy at the gym. I actually have a name for him - dorkyD. It's a little mean, I know. In my defense all I can say is that, no guy who was interested in me before waited this long to ask for my number. Not even the weirdos. Actually, the weirdos always want my number asap or give me theirs if I refuse to give them mine. The longer he waits, it'll be 3 weeks mon. Granted I only see him a couple times a week at the gym and I only went once last week. I have seen him randomly before though. At the grocery - again far away from where hw claims he lives. Well he has to pass 4 or 5 other groceries to shop at that one. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was stalking me.
I gotta stop this train of thought - obviously, I'm tired and should go to bed now.
So there's this guy at the gym who I thought was kinda cute but he seemed shy. I don't have much patience for the shy. I just don't. Anyhoo, finally he comes over to me and talks to me at the gym for quite some time (while I worked out on 3 different machines). So I figure, the next time he sees me, he's going to ask for my number at the very least or ask me out...maybe for drinks or coffee sometime. Well, I was wrong again. I swear, sometimes my love-life (or lack thereof) is a like a country-western song. 5 times now he has come over to talk to me. Does he expect to learn all about me without even paying for a coffee. What am I supposed to think? That he's interested? Or that he's not interested? Whatever I'm supposed to think...what I think now is that he's a weirdo. One of my friends told me I should ask him out for coffee. But I fear if I do this, it'll only confirm my suspicions that he's a weirdo and then I'll end up having to give him that awkward "I'm just not interested in you" talk b/c I was the one who asked him out first.
The other weird thing is that I saw him tonight. Not at the gym(cause you know there's no way I'm going there on a sun), but at the gas station where I decided to go fill up my tank before going to get my movie (the gas station is next door). The weird thing is that he was there at all b/c he lives far away from there (at least 15min or more) whereas I live 5 min from there. The gas is cheaper there than at most stations and he drives an Audi which needs premium grade so maybe it's worth it to him to drive that far. I always wonder about people driving around (wasting gas) to find the cheapest gas. Surely it'd be cheaper to get gas closest to you than to drive further for it. imho, but what do I know. From our conversations...where he never asks me for my number or asks me out...I don't think we have much in common other than the fact that our parents are from the same country. Plus with every meeting, he's becoming less cute and more weird. He totally came up behind me at the gym the other day and I was like "whoa, don't sneak up on me". What does he think? that we have thing now? That he can get into my personal space and I'd be ok with that. Maybe I'm the one who's weird. I just don't think this guy is it.
I have a totally inappropriate crush on a guy at work - he's 22. I'm sure it'll pass. He's funny and and sarcastic and so quick-witted. And 22. I try not to visit his lab anymore so I don't see him much. This is for the best. I couldn't even think about dating this guy ever. Even if he was interested in someone 10 yrs older. He's way too young. Plus, he's a co-worker in my former lab and that would just make me fodder for the rumor mills. Who needs that? I sure don't. I only bring this up b/c I was telling T while we were out at lunch about my crush. Well I started to say " I think my crush is fading, this is good". She said "oooh, the guy from the gym?" And I was like "not him, no way, he's barely even cute anymore, I don't have a crush on him at all. I was talking about a guy here at work". I planned to keep his name to myself for as long as possible. Well until the crush goes away completely. Any day now, it's bound to happen.
I just don't know what to think or do about this guy at the gym. I actually have a name for him - dorkyD. It's a little mean, I know. In my defense all I can say is that, no guy who was interested in me before waited this long to ask for my number. Not even the weirdos. Actually, the weirdos always want my number asap or give me theirs if I refuse to give them mine. The longer he waits, it'll be 3 weeks mon. Granted I only see him a couple times a week at the gym and I only went once last week. I have seen him randomly before though. At the grocery - again far away from where hw claims he lives. Well he has to pass 4 or 5 other groceries to shop at that one. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was stalking me.
I gotta stop this train of thought - obviously, I'm tired and should go to bed now.
Monday, April 23
motivation
Trying on swim suits are a great way to motivate yourself into going to the gym.
I was in Target over the weekend and saw a few suits on sale. Tried on a couple (different sizes)and ummm I just put them back and got out of there as fast as I could. Why? It's called back-fat. I have it. It's not pretty. While I do think that the style of the suits were probably not suited to my body shape, I didn't expect them to look that awful from the back. They were one-piece suits with the back cut out. I think a tankini-style suit is probably more my style.
In my head I figured that if I lost ~5lbs I'd be fine...near if not at my optimum weight...anymore than that and I'd start wasting away(or so I thought). The back-fat tells another story though. Maybe I could stand to lose more like 10-15 lbs after all. According to the BMI/body fat charts/calculators, my optimal weight is 25-30lbs less than I weigh. I don't think I need to lose that much. I think I have a medium frame and as such could stand to have more weight than they allow for my height. My actual weight(number) is not what I really care about, I think being able to fit into clothes comfortably would be nice. Not to be hanging over my jeans/belt would also be good. Not to have several creases in my back, ideal. And if I could minimize the love handles to the point where I don't have to name them, perfect.
Finally the kick I needed to get back to the gym. Every day I kept telling myself that today's the day...today's the day that I go back to the gym...but today never seemed to come. I'd end up staying at work too late or be too hungry or too tired or just plain not-in-the-mood. Tonight, no more excuses. I worked out for an hour incl wieght machines/warm up and cool down.
My feet are killing me. My lower back and hamstrings don't feel too great either. Might have done a little too much. That's me, all or nothing. No moderation. Nothing in between.
Another reason I was reluctant getting back to the gym was that I didn't want to answer questions like...were you on vacation? thought you moved? Got a few of those but I had answers ready..."yes I was on vacation [from the gym hehe"] or "yes, it's been a while hasn't it". :) No big deal really. Stuff like this always seems like a bigger deal in my head that they work out to be in reality. I don't always remember that.
I did see a guy that I normally say "hi" to whenever I see him at the gym. I've also bumped into this same guy at the grocery store. I kept telling myself that one of these days he's going to have enough courage to actually come up to me and speak :)
Today was totally that day. He saw me and waved and I waved back. Then to my surprise, he walked right over (from the other side of the gym, I might add) and said more than hello. He said "long time no see", etc. I kinda told him about my recent motivation in brief...trying on swim suits, just the motivation I needed to get back to working out. He said - what do you mean? you look very attractive, you don't need to worry about it at all". Isn't that sweet? We chatted for a bit while I worked on a few machines. He and I have something in common. His parents are also from T&T. We had a nice chat. He also asked if I had been on vacation somewhere b/c I seemed to have gotten darker. I told him about my trip home 4 mths ago. The main reason I'm darker now is because there is actual sunshine and I have been walking outside whenever the weather allows. I got a great deal of sun this past weekend as I went walking with T in the morning on Sat. It was great. We walked for about an hour then sat outside a local coffeehouse, with iced tea and bagels, before walking back to her house. I was also outside during prime sunshine hrs on Sun. So great after the many days of rain we had early last week.
I'm in pain, time for some advil, I think, then bed.
I was in Target over the weekend and saw a few suits on sale. Tried on a couple (different sizes)and ummm I just put them back and got out of there as fast as I could. Why? It's called back-fat. I have it. It's not pretty. While I do think that the style of the suits were probably not suited to my body shape, I didn't expect them to look that awful from the back. They were one-piece suits with the back cut out. I think a tankini-style suit is probably more my style.
In my head I figured that if I lost ~5lbs I'd be fine...near if not at my optimum weight...anymore than that and I'd start wasting away(or so I thought). The back-fat tells another story though. Maybe I could stand to lose more like 10-15 lbs after all. According to the BMI/body fat charts/calculators, my optimal weight is 25-30lbs less than I weigh. I don't think I need to lose that much. I think I have a medium frame and as such could stand to have more weight than they allow for my height. My actual weight(number) is not what I really care about, I think being able to fit into clothes comfortably would be nice. Not to be hanging over my jeans/belt would also be good. Not to have several creases in my back, ideal. And if I could minimize the love handles to the point where I don't have to name them, perfect.
Finally the kick I needed to get back to the gym. Every day I kept telling myself that today's the day...today's the day that I go back to the gym...but today never seemed to come. I'd end up staying at work too late or be too hungry or too tired or just plain not-in-the-mood. Tonight, no more excuses. I worked out for an hour incl wieght machines/warm up and cool down.
My feet are killing me. My lower back and hamstrings don't feel too great either. Might have done a little too much. That's me, all or nothing. No moderation. Nothing in between.
Another reason I was reluctant getting back to the gym was that I didn't want to answer questions like...were you on vacation? thought you moved? Got a few of those but I had answers ready..."yes I was on vacation [from the gym hehe"] or "yes, it's been a while hasn't it". :) No big deal really. Stuff like this always seems like a bigger deal in my head that they work out to be in reality. I don't always remember that.
I did see a guy that I normally say "hi" to whenever I see him at the gym. I've also bumped into this same guy at the grocery store. I kept telling myself that one of these days he's going to have enough courage to actually come up to me and speak :)
Today was totally that day. He saw me and waved and I waved back. Then to my surprise, he walked right over (from the other side of the gym, I might add) and said more than hello. He said "long time no see", etc. I kinda told him about my recent motivation in brief...trying on swim suits, just the motivation I needed to get back to working out. He said - what do you mean? you look very attractive, you don't need to worry about it at all". Isn't that sweet? We chatted for a bit while I worked on a few machines. He and I have something in common. His parents are also from T&T. We had a nice chat. He also asked if I had been on vacation somewhere b/c I seemed to have gotten darker. I told him about my trip home 4 mths ago. The main reason I'm darker now is because there is actual sunshine and I have been walking outside whenever the weather allows. I got a great deal of sun this past weekend as I went walking with T in the morning on Sat. It was great. We walked for about an hour then sat outside a local coffeehouse, with iced tea and bagels, before walking back to her house. I was also outside during prime sunshine hrs on Sun. So great after the many days of rain we had early last week.
I'm in pain, time for some advil, I think, then bed.
Sunday, April 22
Wednesday, April 18
taking names
I was reading a post over on Virginia Belle's blog - about having to add another name to her "Men Who are Obviously Not Interested in Me" list.
I didn't think other people had this list too. You know what else? My list is full. I don't want to add any more names to it. Instead I want to be able to make a new list(s). How about...
"Men who want me and are not too shy to do something about it" or maybe
"Men who think I'm hot" or how about
"Men who are so into me" or (and this one is my favorite)
"Men who want me to marry them and have their babies"...Jeter? Nadal? Tristan?
I already have several candidates for these lists. A pity and a shame that they are currently empty. These are the lists I want to be adding names to.
I didn't think other people had this list too. You know what else? My list is full. I don't want to add any more names to it. Instead I want to be able to make a new list(s). How about...
"Men who want me and are not too shy to do something about it" or maybe
"Men who think I'm hot" or how about
"Men who are so into me" or (and this one is my favorite)
"Men who want me to marry them and have their babies"...Jeter? Nadal? Tristan?
I already have several candidates for these lists. A pity and a shame that they are currently empty. These are the lists I want to be adding names to.
Sunday, April 15
It's April, right?
I feel the need to write this b/c it snowed/sleeted/rained all day. What's up with that? The weather gurus are all excited b/c they have something to talk about again. Phooey! That's all I have to say about that.
I did finally get my iPod sorted - finally figured out the stupid software I paid for and got it to transfer my songs from iPod back to iTunes. But it took me a while and so when I finally had it worked out, it actually transferred several songs 2 or 3 times or at least their file names if not the actual info in the music files. Yeah, this meant many duplicates/broken links. I spent a good part of today deleting the duplicates and re-loading some of the albums that were corrupt. My sis got me an external backup hard drive so I can keep my music on that as back-up. Took me a while to figure that out as well. From the link in amazon, it made it seem idiot-proof...like all I needed to do was press a button and voila...info backed-up. Not so simple, folks. The specs for it mention that it comes with a 22" USB cord. It's more like a 5" USB cord. Still usable though and since my sis was also thoughtful enough to get me a storage case for the drive I just place it in that on the floor by the USB port on my tower. So no worries :)
I did finally get my iPod sorted - finally figured out the stupid software I paid for and got it to transfer my songs from iPod back to iTunes. But it took me a while and so when I finally had it worked out, it actually transferred several songs 2 or 3 times or at least their file names if not the actual info in the music files. Yeah, this meant many duplicates/broken links. I spent a good part of today deleting the duplicates and re-loading some of the albums that were corrupt. My sis got me an external backup hard drive so I can keep my music on that as back-up. Took me a while to figure that out as well. From the link in amazon, it made it seem idiot-proof...like all I needed to do was press a button and voila...info backed-up. Not so simple, folks. The specs for it mention that it comes with a 22" USB cord. It's more like a 5" USB cord. Still usable though and since my sis was also thoughtful enough to get me a storage case for the drive I just place it in that on the floor by the USB port on my tower. So no worries :)
Friday, April 13
birthday
Stayed home for my birthday as planned on Mon. I slept in a little (till 8am). Had a leaisurely breakfast then spent much of the day cleaning. I meant to do it Sat/Sun but was out much of the time or just in a lazy tv-watching/reading mood. It was ok though. So I invited about 14 people. I figured that they wouldn't all show up but at least I'd know in time since I specifically asked them to let me know by Fri - I also included my phone and home email in case something came up on Sat and they needed to cancel. I hadn't figured that some of them would wait till the last minute to tell me they weren't coming. I had to call a couple of them to find out they weren't coming. A couple of them called me at 730pm Mon night (yeah, they were supposed to be there at 6) to tell me they weren't coming. I know ppl have lives, stuff comes up, whatever. Surely they could have let me know sooner. I guess I just don't rate a highly as I thought. In spite of them, having too much pizza/cake, I had a great birthday.
I did have a great time with my friends who did show up. They brought cards and festive moods with them. We spent most of the night playing poker - we used coins and just made them have the same value regardless. We also spent some of the time eating chocolate mocha silk and chocolate cake with whipped cream/butter icing and sprinkles. A few also had yellow cake. I baked the cakes (from a box -Pillsbury makes the best box cakes) - and only made the yellow b/c I was catering to the ppl who bailed at the last minute.
I just have to let it all go though - it's hard b/c I'd never do that to any of them. If I can't go I let them know as soon as I can and I don't bail at the last minute. I took the extra pizza and cake into work on Tues and they were glad for it. Got some really good gifts/cool cards as well.
I also got quite a few e-cards. My Mum has discovered e-cards now - kinda cool. I got some funny Easter cards and also sent a few funny ones. The funniest one by far featured Hoops and Yoyo talking about Easter candy - hysterical...well it made me laugh hysterically :) They make me think of my sis and me. When we get together we often act very silly and sometimes can't stop the wise-cracks, funny voices and giggles. Fun times. If you have time, do take a look at them if you haven't before.
This has nothing to do with anything - a guy I knew in college (he was in my chem classes) used to say "fun times" all the time. I think he thought it was funny. It was, the first 3 times he said it. Not so much after that. He was a little pompous - he claimed that he came from a "rich, little town with huge houses". Like anyone cared? Anyhoo, I find that I use "fun times" from time to time. I try not to use it too often lest I annoy other people in the same way that guy used to annoy me.
I did have a great time with my friends who did show up. They brought cards and festive moods with them. We spent most of the night playing poker - we used coins and just made them have the same value regardless. We also spent some of the time eating chocolate mocha silk and chocolate cake with whipped cream/butter icing and sprinkles. A few also had yellow cake. I baked the cakes (from a box -Pillsbury makes the best box cakes) - and only made the yellow b/c I was catering to the ppl who bailed at the last minute.
I just have to let it all go though - it's hard b/c I'd never do that to any of them. If I can't go I let them know as soon as I can and I don't bail at the last minute. I took the extra pizza and cake into work on Tues and they were glad for it. Got some really good gifts/cool cards as well.
I also got quite a few e-cards. My Mum has discovered e-cards now - kinda cool. I got some funny Easter cards and also sent a few funny ones. The funniest one by far featured Hoops and Yoyo talking about Easter candy - hysterical...well it made me laugh hysterically :) They make me think of my sis and me. When we get together we often act very silly and sometimes can't stop the wise-cracks, funny voices and giggles. Fun times. If you have time, do take a look at them if you haven't before.
This has nothing to do with anything - a guy I knew in college (he was in my chem classes) used to say "fun times" all the time. I think he thought it was funny. It was, the first 3 times he said it. Not so much after that. He was a little pompous - he claimed that he came from a "rich, little town with huge houses". Like anyone cared? Anyhoo, I find that I use "fun times" from time to time. I try not to use it too often lest I annoy other people in the same way that guy used to annoy me.
Watching Beetlejuice - I must either have forgotten or just haven't seen it from the beginning before in a long time. Can you believe this movie is almost 20 yrs old? Oh how the time flies? I noticed for the first time tonight that the sandworms aren't scary at all, they look like sock puppets. I remember when I first saw this movie I was pretty freaked out by the sandworms. I was also freaked out by Beetlejuice himself. Alec Baldwin is quite dashing but Micheal Keaton is maginificently repulsive as Beetlejuice. And then there's that dance he does...so funny.
Monday, April 9
swwet escape indeed.
Today my birthday. It's also my lucky day. Why? It started with me singing along to Gwen on "Sweet Escape" - which I'd just bought from the mall. I was trying to make the light and didn't realize I was going that fast. I actually started slowing down a bit b/c I thought I was going a little fast.
I got pulled over by a state trooper today. Actually he'd been trying to pull me over for 4 blocks and I was oblivious until he sounded his siren. I was curious and a bit alarmed that he seemed to be following me and lights were flashing but did I stop? Ummm, no, I did slow a bit and then when I heard the siren, I realized, Oh crap, he's stopping me.
He asked for my license and registration. He had to point out the registration card to me as I was searching for it (frantically) in the envelope from my glove box - the envelope labeled registration/insurance. I guess I was just a bit nervous. He also asked if I had gotten a speeding ticket before (now I'm kinda scared). to which I answered no. He asked, "Never, no tickets?" I told only parking tickets. He asked if they were all paid. I told all except for the last one which I pleaded "not guilty" to. He asked where I was going? I told him I was going home and that I'd just come from the mall. So he then went to his car. He came back and told me he wasn't going to give me a ticket today. He also said that I had been doing 49 in a 30 and it was a school zone - meaning double the fines/double the points. I then thanked him and told him it was my birthday and would have really sucked to get a ticket today. Then he said, well happy birthday, I definitely can't give a ticket today. he also said to "watch my speed".
Sweet escape indeed - I don't think that's what Gwen's talking about but it's still apprpriate here :)
I got pulled over by a state trooper today. Actually he'd been trying to pull me over for 4 blocks and I was oblivious until he sounded his siren. I was curious and a bit alarmed that he seemed to be following me and lights were flashing but did I stop? Ummm, no, I did slow a bit and then when I heard the siren, I realized, Oh crap, he's stopping me.
He asked for my license and registration. He had to point out the registration card to me as I was searching for it (frantically) in the envelope from my glove box - the envelope labeled registration/insurance. I guess I was just a bit nervous. He also asked if I had gotten a speeding ticket before (now I'm kinda scared). to which I answered no. He asked, "Never, no tickets?" I told only parking tickets. He asked if they were all paid. I told all except for the last one which I pleaded "not guilty" to. He asked where I was going? I told him I was going home and that I'd just come from the mall. So he then went to his car. He came back and told me he wasn't going to give me a ticket today. He also said that I had been doing 49 in a 30 and it was a school zone - meaning double the fines/double the points. I then thanked him and told him it was my birthday and would have really sucked to get a ticket today. Then he said, well happy birthday, I definitely can't give a ticket today. he also said to "watch my speed".
Sweet escape indeed - I don't think that's what Gwen's talking about but it's still apprpriate here :)
Tuesday, March 27
Federer's lost his mojo
Federer lost to Canas again! I can't believe it, even though I saw it with my own 2 eyes, live on tv. What's up Roger? What's wrong? What's happened to your mojo? Dude, you seriously need to get it back.
My boy Nadal has another shot at winning another big tourney(as far as point standings go) so I'm not as heart-broken as I sound going on and on about Federer losing. But the man is like one of the best players in history so it's very surprising, is all. At least tonight's match was more of a match than the last time he played Canas in the Pacific Life open - none of his shots were working that day.
In other sports news, the West Indies played Australia today in Cricket World Cup. Those Aussies are so damn good at their cricket. I don't know how our boys (Windies) are going to beat 300+ runs in 50 overs for 6 - this probably means nothing to you if you don't understand cricket. Let's just say that Windies don't usually score that many runs in 50 overs. Luckily, the match was delayed due to rain and is to be cont'd tomorrow I think. Else those Aussie boys would probably still be scoring runs now. I probably wouldn't even be following the cricket if it weren't for a couple co-workers from India and Pakistan who are really into cricket. So I feel honor-bound to keep up on the results at least. They are both really bummed b/c both India and Pakistan got eliminated in the early rounds. And by Ireland and Bangladesh no less. Not a crack on Bangladeshis, but really who even knew that Ireland played cricket seriously enough to be in the world cup. World Cup cricket has a round-robin format much like world cup soccer(football) does. Each group (A-D) had 2 strong teams and 2 weaker teams. Pakistan and India are generally considered to have strong cricket sides so it's a shame really for them not to be in the super 8's. Ok, enough cricket.
April is coming which means now I can also watch baseball and my beloved Jeter(don't be jealous of Nadal) and the Yankees.
April also means Spring...Easter...my B'day. All good things. This year I don't want to do anything too big for my b'day. I was thinking of maybe just going out to the karaoke bar that weekend. Of course, that'll be Easter weekend and I'm singing for Easter(in choir on Sun) so I may not want to have too wild a night before. I was also thinking of maybe just having a few people over for cake and ice-cream. Then I thought about how small me place is and how much seating room I have (4-5 with a push, anyone else on the floor).
I think a few peeps will be out of town or with their families so maybe I will do that and it'll only be 4-5 friends. That'd be cool. I'm even thinking of baking the cake(s) myself. Of course I still have 2 weeks to bail on this idea. I just don't want to do what I did last year. It was good but not only did I have to pay for my dinner myself(on my b'day) all fine, didn't really expect them to pay for me. But I also had to chip in $12 bucks more b/c someone didn't put enough in - I feel bad stiffing the waiter on their tip from a table with 8 people, that's just wrong. I was a little upset by that. Maybe who ever didn't put enough in didn't realize. Maybe. So no big dinner out with people. If I do decide to do dinner I don't want so many people there that I have to make a reservation. No more than 3 or 4 incl me. That's why I was thinking more along the lines of cake/ice cream. Sure to cost less than $55 dollars.
I think that the people who live downstairs have a washing machine in their apt. At least it sounds like they do. So not fair as I have to go out to the laundromat but that's another story. They can't seem to find any other time to do laundry but at midnight or 1am. WTF? They are home all damn day. Or at least when I leave they are here, I come home for lunch on occasion, they are here. I get home early, still here. So why the hell must they do laundry so late at night? Another thing they do late at night is move shit around - I hear stuff dragging and lots of footsteps. Even though I'm in the upstairs apt, I hear all this. Why? My guess...they suck and are trying to get on my last nerve. Well, maybe they are not trying to annoy intentionally. How can I be sure though.
I better get to bed. I feel crappy, congested and like I'm about to wheeze (even after taking my emergency inhaler). This is not good. I'm taking too much medication to feel like this. I've been having trouble sleeping off and on. So much so that I forgot to set my alarm and overslept one morning - got to work at 9:45am, so not good. To offset that I've been making an effort to get to bed earlier so I can get more sleep/rest. I woke up a few times last couple nights. It might be my asthma meds that's contributing to this. So I thought to keep myself up a little longer in the hope that I would sleep till my alarm goes off. Then I end up staying up too late. No win situation. All this not sleeping enough is not helping my asthma either. Also have not been to the gym in 3 weeks, not been to boxing in 2 months maybe. Can't remember. Not good. I've got to get back into the groove. I've actually only put on a pound or 2 since. This is good. My muscles are slowly wasting away though. I can feel myself becoming more sluggish every day. We've been having relatively nice weather and I have been going out for walks about 2x a week so that's something. Got to get back into regular routine. After all, my gym membership is not free. I was watching the show Workout (on Bravo) and I'm envious of all their in shape bodies. They measured their body fat and the trainers had 10-18% body fat. Imagine. My body fat is closer to my age, not really where I want to be. Got to do something more. More than just wishing for it. Something proactive.
Not tonight though - time for bed now.
My boy Nadal has another shot at winning another big tourney(as far as point standings go) so I'm not as heart-broken as I sound going on and on about Federer losing. But the man is like one of the best players in history so it's very surprising, is all. At least tonight's match was more of a match than the last time he played Canas in the Pacific Life open - none of his shots were working that day.
In other sports news, the West Indies played Australia today in Cricket World Cup. Those Aussies are so damn good at their cricket. I don't know how our boys (Windies) are going to beat 300+ runs in 50 overs for 6 - this probably means nothing to you if you don't understand cricket. Let's just say that Windies don't usually score that many runs in 50 overs. Luckily, the match was delayed due to rain and is to be cont'd tomorrow I think. Else those Aussie boys would probably still be scoring runs now. I probably wouldn't even be following the cricket if it weren't for a couple co-workers from India and Pakistan who are really into cricket. So I feel honor-bound to keep up on the results at least. They are both really bummed b/c both India and Pakistan got eliminated in the early rounds. And by Ireland and Bangladesh no less. Not a crack on Bangladeshis, but really who even knew that Ireland played cricket seriously enough to be in the world cup. World Cup cricket has a round-robin format much like world cup soccer(football) does. Each group (A-D) had 2 strong teams and 2 weaker teams. Pakistan and India are generally considered to have strong cricket sides so it's a shame really for them not to be in the super 8's. Ok, enough cricket.
April is coming which means now I can also watch baseball and my beloved Jeter(don't be jealous of Nadal) and the Yankees.
April also means Spring...Easter...my B'day. All good things. This year I don't want to do anything too big for my b'day. I was thinking of maybe just going out to the karaoke bar that weekend. Of course, that'll be Easter weekend and I'm singing for Easter(in choir on Sun) so I may not want to have too wild a night before. I was also thinking of maybe just having a few people over for cake and ice-cream. Then I thought about how small me place is and how much seating room I have (4-5 with a push, anyone else on the floor).
I think a few peeps will be out of town or with their families so maybe I will do that and it'll only be 4-5 friends. That'd be cool. I'm even thinking of baking the cake(s) myself. Of course I still have 2 weeks to bail on this idea. I just don't want to do what I did last year. It was good but not only did I have to pay for my dinner myself(on my b'day) all fine, didn't really expect them to pay for me. But I also had to chip in $12 bucks more b/c someone didn't put enough in - I feel bad stiffing the waiter on their tip from a table with 8 people, that's just wrong. I was a little upset by that. Maybe who ever didn't put enough in didn't realize. Maybe. So no big dinner out with people. If I do decide to do dinner I don't want so many people there that I have to make a reservation. No more than 3 or 4 incl me. That's why I was thinking more along the lines of cake/ice cream. Sure to cost less than $55 dollars.
I think that the people who live downstairs have a washing machine in their apt. At least it sounds like they do. So not fair as I have to go out to the laundromat but that's another story. They can't seem to find any other time to do laundry but at midnight or 1am. WTF? They are home all damn day. Or at least when I leave they are here, I come home for lunch on occasion, they are here. I get home early, still here. So why the hell must they do laundry so late at night? Another thing they do late at night is move shit around - I hear stuff dragging and lots of footsteps. Even though I'm in the upstairs apt, I hear all this. Why? My guess...they suck and are trying to get on my last nerve. Well, maybe they are not trying to annoy intentionally. How can I be sure though.
I better get to bed. I feel crappy, congested and like I'm about to wheeze (even after taking my emergency inhaler). This is not good. I'm taking too much medication to feel like this. I've been having trouble sleeping off and on. So much so that I forgot to set my alarm and overslept one morning - got to work at 9:45am, so not good. To offset that I've been making an effort to get to bed earlier so I can get more sleep/rest. I woke up a few times last couple nights. It might be my asthma meds that's contributing to this. So I thought to keep myself up a little longer in the hope that I would sleep till my alarm goes off. Then I end up staying up too late. No win situation. All this not sleeping enough is not helping my asthma either. Also have not been to the gym in 3 weeks, not been to boxing in 2 months maybe. Can't remember. Not good. I've got to get back into the groove. I've actually only put on a pound or 2 since. This is good. My muscles are slowly wasting away though. I can feel myself becoming more sluggish every day. We've been having relatively nice weather and I have been going out for walks about 2x a week so that's something. Got to get back into regular routine. After all, my gym membership is not free. I was watching the show Workout (on Bravo) and I'm envious of all their in shape bodies. They measured their body fat and the trainers had 10-18% body fat. Imagine. My body fat is closer to my age, not really where I want to be. Got to do something more. More than just wishing for it. Something proactive.
Not tonight though - time for bed now.
Sunday, March 18
now i know
I think I finally figured out why C never called me even though he seemed keen, interested and said he would - even though I erased my profile from yahoo, I still get occasional emails about matches based on basic search criteria. Well, guess who was on there tonight. I checked out his profile after seeing his pic. I must confess that I made a new profile so I could actually read what was in his (they don't let you open profiles after a while until you create one of your own).
He's looking for a woman 20-24 who's not Black. He had all the other criteria checked in the ethnicity category except Black. Very telling. Usually I look at this section in a guy's profile first, no point reading and getting excited about some guy who doesn't date/is not interested in Black women (for whatever reason).
Not only am I Black, I'm also older than 24. 2 strikes in his book surely. So now I know. Am I happier with this knowledge? NOT at all. I guess it's better to know though. So glad I never called him after he promised to call me. How embarrasing would that be...to be chasing after a guy who's not interested in you at all, not really, not in a romantic way in any event.
He's looking for a woman 20-24 who's not Black. He had all the other criteria checked in the ethnicity category except Black. Very telling. Usually I look at this section in a guy's profile first, no point reading and getting excited about some guy who doesn't date/is not interested in Black women (for whatever reason).
Not only am I Black, I'm also older than 24. 2 strikes in his book surely. So now I know. Am I happier with this knowledge? NOT at all. I guess it's better to know though. So glad I never called him after he promised to call me. How embarrasing would that be...to be chasing after a guy who's not interested in you at all, not really, not in a romantic way in any event.
Saturday, March 17
Rafa...Rafa...Rafa(can you hear me shouting)
He's done it and in dominant fashion as well. My boy Rafa has beat Roddick today 6-4, 6-3. I'm so hoping that Murray beats Djokovic later tonight. I want a Nadal vs Murray match-up for the men's final. This is a big win for Nadal. He needed this. I can't wait for tomorrow match.
S confessed to getting me an early bday pressie - Nadal calendar. Perfect timing S.
S confessed to getting me an early bday pressie - Nadal calendar. Perfect timing S.
Friday, March 16
just call me...fanatic...T_E_A_D_A
I went to see T.e.a.d.a/Danu in concert last night. Cost of ticket $20. I didn't get lost on the way surprisingly considering that I hadn't been there before. The show started off in true Celtic fashion with a local pipe and drum band, complete with tartans, highland bagpipes and tall socks. I love bagpipes.
Then T.e.a.d.a followed. Tristan was his usual dreamy self, he introduced all their songs and gave a little background about the composer of it/where it originated. My only regret is that I didn't bring their CD with me. They were signing. I could have had Tristan(and the other lads) sign my CD. I guess I just have to go to the next show they play here. That'll be in September and I can't wait.
It was even better for me than when I saw them at Christmas b/c I actually recognized most of the songs they played this time. Their album is #1 in Ireland. Yet these guys are so down to earth. I spoke to 3 of them. Oisin, Sean and of course the lovely Tristan. You can see them in this video. The music sounds a bit 'tinny' in the video link. You can get a better idea of their sound (and the way they sound live) from their site when you click link for individual songs. Sean plays bouzouki/banjo and guitar, Oisin's on fiddle, the wonderful Tristan on bodhran(a type of drum), Damian on flute. The guy on button accordion in the video is Paul. Him I've yet to see. Both this time and the last time I saw T.e.a.d.a, they had Tommy Martin instead playing Irish bagpipes/tin whistle. He is also a brilliant musician. I would have bought his CD last night but didn't have enough cash on me. Next time. Even though I didn't have their CD and wasn't buying another, that didn't stop me from going over for a chat with "the lads". "The lads" is how Muireen from Danu referred to T.e.a.d.a. I'm going to start saying that all the time now - the lads :)
I wondered whether Tristan watered the bodhran he plays from the same water that he drinks from. Just before he starts playing, he pours a little water on it, rubs it in, then keeps a mean beat on it. So I asked him, and in his lovely, Irish lilt, he told me, "no, never, it's sacred...has it's own water bottle". And he smiled. And I may have giggled and said something inane. No matter. I mean it's not like I could really envision having a relationship with a musician...who lives in a different country...who travels all year with his band. If I could though, Tristan would be the one.
I also chatted with Sean and asked him to help me pronounce the name of their latest CD Inne Amarach(yesterday, tomorrow). He said I was close, and that the accent on the 'e' in inne and the first 'a' in amarach is called a "fada" and gives it a long vowel sound. Maybe he was just being kind and I butchered it trying to say it. Oh well. I also asked Oisin how to say his name and its something like 'o-sheen'. I tried and am sure I didn't quite say it right either. At least Tristan's name was easy. Can't be butchering the name of the love of my life now can I :)
As for the show, it was great, the music was so beautifully played. It almost breaks your heart but then it mends again at the end. This is what I get from most of the Celtic music I listen to.
Danu followed after and they were really great as well. They sing as well as have instrumental songs and they have a slightly different feel from T.e.a.d.a(who mostly do instrumental pieces) but still enjoyable. They were funny, made random jokes about each other throughout their set. Very fun. A fun fact: both of the fiddlers from each band are named Oisin. I wonder if you have to take up the fiddle if you are named Oisin. Coincidence?
They all came out for one encore performance...together. It was really cool. I don't know if this is the norm or not since I've not been to many concerts and the ones I have been to have only 1 band/musician playing. They played like they were used to all playing together - sign of great musicians.
I'm so pleased that I went, in spite of the fact that I had to go alone b/c S was out of town and Z said it was too much money. Never mind the fact that Z wanted to go out on a bar crawl with M&D tomorrow for St. Paddy's. When I said that I wasn't interested in standing out in the cold and drinking, not much drinking since I'd be driving. She suggested we could get a cab. Yeah, a cab, plus drinks, then food. More than $20 in addition to the discomfort and hassle. I'm not in the mood for that. Not my idea of a good time. At least not anymore(methinks I might be getting old(er). I think my $20 was more than well spent to see a couple bands whose CDs I own and whose music I enjoy. I know, I know, people should spend their money on whatever they like. I'd just prefer a more honest response, like "I'm just not in the mood for Irish music" or "not really interested in seeing them again". More than adequate and easier to believe than "too much money".
I've celebrated St, Paddy's my way, so staying in tomorrow(with all the snow we have and that's to come), not a problem at all.
The man I eventually end up with will have to like/love Celtic music also b/c I don't want to have to go to things like this by myself forever. It's always more fun if you have someone to share it with.
Then T.e.a.d.a followed. Tristan was his usual dreamy self, he introduced all their songs and gave a little background about the composer of it/where it originated. My only regret is that I didn't bring their CD with me. They were signing. I could have had Tristan(and the other lads) sign my CD. I guess I just have to go to the next show they play here. That'll be in September and I can't wait.
It was even better for me than when I saw them at Christmas b/c I actually recognized most of the songs they played this time. Their album is #1 in Ireland. Yet these guys are so down to earth. I spoke to 3 of them. Oisin, Sean and of course the lovely Tristan. You can see them in this video. The music sounds a bit 'tinny' in the video link. You can get a better idea of their sound (and the way they sound live) from their site when you click link for individual songs. Sean plays bouzouki/banjo and guitar, Oisin's on fiddle, the wonderful Tristan on bodhran(a type of drum), Damian on flute. The guy on button accordion in the video is Paul. Him I've yet to see. Both this time and the last time I saw T.e.a.d.a, they had Tommy Martin instead playing Irish bagpipes/tin whistle. He is also a brilliant musician. I would have bought his CD last night but didn't have enough cash on me. Next time. Even though I didn't have their CD and wasn't buying another, that didn't stop me from going over for a chat with "the lads". "The lads" is how Muireen from Danu referred to T.e.a.d.a. I'm going to start saying that all the time now - the lads :)
I wondered whether Tristan watered the bodhran he plays from the same water that he drinks from. Just before he starts playing, he pours a little water on it, rubs it in, then keeps a mean beat on it. So I asked him, and in his lovely, Irish lilt, he told me, "no, never, it's sacred...has it's own water bottle". And he smiled. And I may have giggled and said something inane. No matter. I mean it's not like I could really envision having a relationship with a musician...who lives in a different country...who travels all year with his band. If I could though, Tristan would be the one.
I also chatted with Sean and asked him to help me pronounce the name of their latest CD Inne Amarach(yesterday, tomorrow). He said I was close, and that the accent on the 'e' in inne and the first 'a' in amarach is called a "fada" and gives it a long vowel sound. Maybe he was just being kind and I butchered it trying to say it. Oh well. I also asked Oisin how to say his name and its something like 'o-sheen'. I tried and am sure I didn't quite say it right either. At least Tristan's name was easy. Can't be butchering the name of the love of my life now can I :)
As for the show, it was great, the music was so beautifully played. It almost breaks your heart but then it mends again at the end. This is what I get from most of the Celtic music I listen to.
Danu followed after and they were really great as well. They sing as well as have instrumental songs and they have a slightly different feel from T.e.a.d.a(who mostly do instrumental pieces) but still enjoyable. They were funny, made random jokes about each other throughout their set. Very fun. A fun fact: both of the fiddlers from each band are named Oisin. I wonder if you have to take up the fiddle if you are named Oisin. Coincidence?
They all came out for one encore performance...together. It was really cool. I don't know if this is the norm or not since I've not been to many concerts and the ones I have been to have only 1 band/musician playing. They played like they were used to all playing together - sign of great musicians.
I'm so pleased that I went, in spite of the fact that I had to go alone b/c S was out of town and Z said it was too much money. Never mind the fact that Z wanted to go out on a bar crawl with M&D tomorrow for St. Paddy's. When I said that I wasn't interested in standing out in the cold and drinking, not much drinking since I'd be driving. She suggested we could get a cab. Yeah, a cab, plus drinks, then food. More than $20 in addition to the discomfort and hassle. I'm not in the mood for that. Not my idea of a good time. At least not anymore(methinks I might be getting old(er). I think my $20 was more than well spent to see a couple bands whose CDs I own and whose music I enjoy. I know, I know, people should spend their money on whatever they like. I'd just prefer a more honest response, like "I'm just not in the mood for Irish music" or "not really interested in seeing them again". More than adequate and easier to believe than "too much money".
I've celebrated St, Paddy's my way, so staying in tomorrow(with all the snow we have and that's to come), not a problem at all.
The man I eventually end up with will have to like/love Celtic music also b/c I don't want to have to go to things like this by myself forever. It's always more fun if you have someone to share it with.
just call me...fanatic...tennis
Got a great surprise today. A Rafael Nadal calendar. It's beautiful, he's beautiful and so manly. I love Nadal (I'm sure that comes as a shock ;). If his name means nothing to you, you must not follow men's pro tennis. If not, now's the time to start peeps :). Pacific Life Open aka Indian Wells tourney in CA. Worth a lot of points and all the top seeds compete. Federer:the man the legend - I feel like saying that everytime I say his name) is out, outed by a nobody, Canas. Well, not a complete nobody but he has been out of the game for nearly 2yrs. Federer has been no.1 for so long, can anyone even remember who held the crown before him. I can't. As it stands in world rankings, Federer's #1. Nadal's #2. Roddick's #3. i have to back my boy Nadal and I hope he has a great game. i will be watching tomorrow on espn2.
I added the Tennis channel to my cable lineup (it only cost me ~$2 more/mth). It's been great, being able to watch all the early rounds. plus they have several informational shorts about players and tennis in general. it's pretty cool.
He's set for a semifinal match-up with S's fav Roddick. We are both very excited. I have no idea who sent me this calendar. There was no card inside, no note. The outside envelope has the name of the company it came from only. I've narrowed it down to 1 or 2 people who know me and how much I love Rafa, who would send me a random pressie. I'm not all that fond of surprises usu but this was a great one.
I added the Tennis channel to my cable lineup (it only cost me ~$2 more/mth). It's been great, being able to watch all the early rounds. plus they have several informational shorts about players and tennis in general. it's pretty cool.
He's set for a semifinal match-up with S's fav Roddick. We are both very excited. I have no idea who sent me this calendar. There was no card inside, no note. The outside envelope has the name of the company it came from only. I've narrowed it down to 1 or 2 people who know me and how much I love Rafa, who would send me a random pressie. I'm not all that fond of surprises usu but this was a great one.
in other news
I left work at 2:30 today b/c the snow was just starting to cover the roads. I was only the 2nd person to leave from my lab. They are all looking for the 'best employee' ever awards. Not me, I'm into something different. Like the "being able to get home safely b/c I left before the roads became too congested and even more slick and dangerous" award. I'd barely gone 3 miles, was waiting at the light that's just out of the industrial park where I work - I saw a co-worker's car do a 360° spin as she was trying to take the ramp on the right. I was at the light waiting to turn left. 5secs before she was there, I could see her car approaching in my rear-view mirror...I was thinking of reversing and turning right instead. So glad I didn't b/c she would have slammed into me. Luckily for her, me, and who knows who else...no one was in front of/directly behind her. Also the ramp is a full one next to the lane. So she avoided slamming into on-coming traffic and after a couple secs after her spin, she turned around and drove off.
When I left work, the parking lot was still full of cars. The snow is not supposed to get any better. I'm glad I left when I did b/c the roads weren't great but they would only get worse as the afternoon wore on. i stopped at the grocery for supplies on my way home and now i'm all cosy and don't have to worry about cars losing control and slamming into mine (my constant fear when I have to drive in snow).
When I left work, the parking lot was still full of cars. The snow is not supposed to get any better. I'm glad I left when I did b/c the roads weren't great but they would only get worse as the afternoon wore on. i stopped at the grocery for supplies on my way home and now i'm all cosy and don't have to worry about cars losing control and slamming into mine (my constant fear when I have to drive in snow).
hello world
My pc is finally fixed. No thanks to dell support. I had to do a second system wipe (this I suspect was my fault, sorta. I would actually like to blame the guys from PC World but I really only have myself to blame. Why? I suspect the recurring error loop that I couldn't get out of was due to a batch editor file I downloaded b/c I imagined myself a pc expert after reading a few PC World magazines - they claimed that zone alarm tended to create huge unnecessary files and that they had a fix for it. Well, it erased something essential for zone alarm anti virus to be able to run and this resulted in recurring errors. At first I tried to do a system restore to a previous data point. it wasn't far enough b/c after 5min, the same thing kept happening.After 2nd wipe/return to factory settings, followed by downloading/installing all 79 microsoft updates, reinstalling zone alarm anti virus, my system seems to finally be at peace again.
Of course my system no longer contains the 12GB of music I had on it - from CDs and iTunes. They are currently on my iPod. I emailed apple support to ask if they a way for me to connect them without deleting everything still on the iPod. They suggested that I change my automatic updater to manual updates. Well, I have to connect the iPod to see that screen. I don't move at superhuman speed so I don't think I can change to manual updates before it erases everything. I'm just going to have to try it and hope for the best.
Of course my system no longer contains the 12GB of music I had on it - from CDs and iTunes. They are currently on my iPod. I emailed apple support to ask if they a way for me to connect them without deleting everything still on the iPod. They suggested that I change my automatic updater to manual updates. Well, I have to connect the iPod to see that screen. I don't move at superhuman speed so I don't think I can change to manual updates before it erases everything. I'm just going to have to try it and hope for the best.
Sunday, March 11
high hopes
Just got off the phone with my family. After 2 days, I seem to be ok on the new Foradil medicine. My sis barely recognized my voice when I answered - I sound so much better than I have in weeks and it's only been a couple days. I have high hopes for this medicine.
Saturday, March 10
software
Finally, I can check my yahoo mail again. Haven't been able to login for 3mths. Also haven't been able to join netflix or do anything cool I wanted to. Why? Mainly b/c of Mcafee. I've gotten rid of it(most of it, stick have some digging to do to remove all the pesky files that didn't uninstall when I told it to).
I've gotten zone alarm antivirus instead. Also downloaded anitspyware and antimalware apps. Borrowed pc magazines from the library and have learned a whole lot of what I can/should have installed if I don't have a whole security suite. I decided to pay for my antivirus/firewall and get the other stuff from freeware - mostly from c-net download.com and pcworld.
No more annoying alerts from mcafee asking me to allow every single cookie it encountered. You know that Mac ad where the pc and mac dudes are talking and the MIB guy is behind the pc guy saying "...cancel or allow" for everything? Just like that but not as funny. This is why yahoo stopped working. I tried to fix it. I went into all the settings (both in mcafee and firefox/IE 7) to allow all cookies, nothing worked.
My pc if mostly free of mcafee now. It took up so much space and resources. More than zonelabs plus the 4 other freeware apps I've installed. It's great!
I've gotten zone alarm antivirus instead. Also downloaded anitspyware and antimalware apps. Borrowed pc magazines from the library and have learned a whole lot of what I can/should have installed if I don't have a whole security suite. I decided to pay for my antivirus/firewall and get the other stuff from freeware - mostly from c-net download.com and pcworld.
No more annoying alerts from mcafee asking me to allow every single cookie it encountered. You know that Mac ad where the pc and mac dudes are talking and the MIB guy is behind the pc guy saying "...cancel or allow" for everything? Just like that but not as funny. This is why yahoo stopped working. I tried to fix it. I went into all the settings (both in mcafee and firefox/IE 7) to allow all cookies, nothing worked.
My pc if mostly free of mcafee now. It took up so much space and resources. More than zonelabs plus the 4 other freeware apps I've installed. It's great!
Dinner & movie
I'm really due for a break, for things to start going well. I feel more positive now than I did at the start of this week. That's a good sign.
Went to dinner / movie last night with my usual group. This helped improve my outlook.
For dinner, I picked a grilled Ahi tuna sandwich with fries. It was delicious and it only cost $17 incl tip for my share. I had hot tea, no alcohol (this always ramps up the bill). The tuna was a little rarer than I would normally have it if I cooked it myself but was still good. The fries were thick-cut, crispy on the outside and fully cooked on the inside. Perfect. I also had tastes of everyone else's entres. All really good food at reasonable prices.
I hate it when we go out to eat and I realize I've spent $30 or more on mediocre food. So I went in tonight thinking about the cost and ordering to suit. The restaurant was empty except for us and 2 other tables. The food was so good, I don't know why it wasn't packed with patrons. The bread they brought out before out dinner was warmed in the oven first. Warmed bread is rarely done these days and always a real treat for me. Maybe it was the time - we got there after our movie around 9:30pm. They had live jazz which at first weirded me out. I got there first and a couple amateurs were "singing karaoke-style" I use this term very generously. By the time the others got there, they'd stopped thank God. The band was a little too loud. I prefer it to be background rather than so loud it feels like a concert.
We saw Zodiac which for some reason I've been calling 'vertigo' all week. Some kind of brain glitch...with the week I've had I guess it's excusable. It was a bit gory in parts but interesting all the way through. Wasn't bored and I think the ending was done well.
Went to dinner / movie last night with my usual group. This helped improve my outlook.
For dinner, I picked a grilled Ahi tuna sandwich with fries. It was delicious and it only cost $17 incl tip for my share. I had hot tea, no alcohol (this always ramps up the bill). The tuna was a little rarer than I would normally have it if I cooked it myself but was still good. The fries were thick-cut, crispy on the outside and fully cooked on the inside. Perfect. I also had tastes of everyone else's entres. All really good food at reasonable prices.
I hate it when we go out to eat and I realize I've spent $30 or more on mediocre food. So I went in tonight thinking about the cost and ordering to suit. The restaurant was empty except for us and 2 other tables. The food was so good, I don't know why it wasn't packed with patrons. The bread they brought out before out dinner was warmed in the oven first. Warmed bread is rarely done these days and always a real treat for me. Maybe it was the time - we got there after our movie around 9:30pm. They had live jazz which at first weirded me out. I got there first and a couple amateurs were "singing karaoke-style" I use this term very generously. By the time the others got there, they'd stopped thank God. The band was a little too loud. I prefer it to be background rather than so loud it feels like a concert.
We saw Zodiac which for some reason I've been calling 'vertigo' all week. Some kind of brain glitch...with the week I've had I guess it's excusable. It was a bit gory in parts but interesting all the way through. Wasn't bored and I think the ending was done well.
Hell week cont'd - health issues
Friday 9am
With all this stuff going on, I'm also really busy at work this week and have worked late days almost every day for the last 2 weeks. This is in spite of the fact that I feel like crap. I have felt worse. So I finally call my allergist's office to schedule an appt. I have to wait for the nurse to call me back so I can explain about the side-effects I had from the Advair and that I stopped taking it and went back on Flovent. So she gives me a 3pm appt. I had a reaction which I had to quench before leaving b/c it's one that goes bad if you leave it too long after it's completed. I don't realize all this until 2:30pm. By the time I take care of it, it's 2:50. I'm a little panicked b/c it usu takes 20min to get to my doc if there's no traffic. Luckily there wasn't much traffic and I got there at 3:05pm, not too bad.
Apparently, other people have been having problems with the new advair inhalers as well. Their problems seem to be due to some malfunction of their inhalers - it's delivering more than it should. I don't think that's my issue. I didn't notice anything unusual about it. I've been using inhalers for more than half my life, I'd notice. The inhalers need cleaning more frequently now since they changed to non-CFC propellants. I'm all for saving the environment but the new propellants "HFA" are crap imho and don't work as well as the good-ole CFCs. Pity they damage the environment so have to be phased out. I'm glad my albuterol inhalers don't have HFA propellant yet.
So I explain it all again to my doc and she agrees that I have a problem with the salmeterol in advair. So no more adavir for me. She asked about Singulair - no good either, had an allergic reaction last time I tried it. So no singulair either. She said I needed another medication in addition to the flovent b/c on it's own, it doesn't seem to be enough. What's left? Foradil-another long-acting bronchodilator(LAB). Now I know why they don't prescribe this first. It's a pain. For one, the capsules have to be refrigerated but not frozen.
Then it's a whole process to take it. I do a google search(b/c I must with all my Rx's) and the first link talk about people dying in a large clinical study from it. My hope is that I won't be as sensitive to it as I am to the other LABs I've taken like salmeterol.
With all this stuff going on, I'm also really busy at work this week and have worked late days almost every day for the last 2 weeks. This is in spite of the fact that I feel like crap. I have felt worse. So I finally call my allergist's office to schedule an appt. I have to wait for the nurse to call me back so I can explain about the side-effects I had from the Advair and that I stopped taking it and went back on Flovent. So she gives me a 3pm appt. I had a reaction which I had to quench before leaving b/c it's one that goes bad if you leave it too long after it's completed. I don't realize all this until 2:30pm. By the time I take care of it, it's 2:50. I'm a little panicked b/c it usu takes 20min to get to my doc if there's no traffic. Luckily there wasn't much traffic and I got there at 3:05pm, not too bad.
Apparently, other people have been having problems with the new advair inhalers as well. Their problems seem to be due to some malfunction of their inhalers - it's delivering more than it should. I don't think that's my issue. I didn't notice anything unusual about it. I've been using inhalers for more than half my life, I'd notice. The inhalers need cleaning more frequently now since they changed to non-CFC propellants. I'm all for saving the environment but the new propellants "HFA" are crap imho and don't work as well as the good-ole CFCs. Pity they damage the environment so have to be phased out. I'm glad my albuterol inhalers don't have HFA propellant yet.
So I explain it all again to my doc and she agrees that I have a problem with the salmeterol in advair. So no more adavir for me. She asked about Singulair - no good either, had an allergic reaction last time I tried it. So no singulair either. She said I needed another medication in addition to the flovent b/c on it's own, it doesn't seem to be enough. What's left? Foradil-another long-acting bronchodilator(LAB). Now I know why they don't prescribe this first. It's a pain. For one, the capsules have to be refrigerated but not frozen.
Then it's a whole process to take it. I do a google search(b/c I must with all my Rx's) and the first link talk about people dying in a large clinical study from it. My hope is that I won't be as sensitive to it as I am to the other LABs I've taken like salmeterol.
Hell week...plumbing issues
This has been a really rough week. Even though I knew it had to start getting better at some point, I just couldn't see it. Now things seem to be on the rise. Maybe it was the lunar eclipse that caused it - the last 2 weeks have been really shitty so maybe not.
Sat 4th March
I call my landlord b/c my bath rm sink had some kind of water pressure problem, water was just trickling out. So he tells me he'll come with a plumber Mon night. some of the pipe connections were still iron pipes which tend to get clogged with gunk(his words).
Sun
He comes by and does something with it b/c when I get back from choir/errands, the water pressure seems normal i.e. I can actually wash my hands in less than 3min.
So I think, maybe I was mistaken and he came today to fix it. Wrong.
Monday 6:30pm
I get a call on my cell while I'm still at work telling me that he and the plumber have arrived and are going to take care of things...
8:00pm - I get home to find them both still in my bath rm "fixing". They don't leave until 10:30pm and there is a mysterious leak in the new elbow joint they've put in that they can't seem to fix. It's a small, slow leak so they put a bucket under it and tell me that maybe the joint will 'swell' in a couple days and it'll stop. The floor under the sink/toilet has been removed and the dank, smelly wood underneath exposed. it reeks in there. Plus they must've knocked the toilet roll off in water and put it back b/c it has gurbby marks on it and also that swollen, frilly look at one end that tissue/paper towls get if you drop one end in water. What kills me is that they put it back. it's a good thing I always put my glasses on before goin to the loo b/c I could have used (shudders to think) that on my person. How Gross is that? So I've left it there for them to futz around with and have opened a new roll which I hide in the closet before I leave.
11:30pm - banging on my back door (accessible only by my downstairs neighbor or landlord, it my downstairs neighbor telling me he has a flood in his kitchen and he thinks it's coming from me. I have no water on any of my floors so this seems uinlikely to me. He asks to come in and look for himself. I let him (b/c I just want to get to sleep). He looks and can't find the source, not in my bathrm...not under my kitchen sink. He tells me he thinks "they broke a pipe in the wall and that he's
"turned off the water". I'm exhausted and nothing he says really means anything to me - I just need to sleep.
Tuesday 6:30am
Time to get ready for work - then it dawns on me...no water. So I call my landlord and ask him what to do, I have to get ready for work. He tells me to go out the back and knock on my neighbor back door then ask him to turn it on so I can get ready. I do this - nothing, no response. So I have to put on my coat/socks/shoes and go out the front...into the 3°F morning cold to bang on their front door. Part of the conversation goes like this:
6:45
Me: Can you turn the water on for 10-15min I need to get ready for work
Surly Neighbor: NO, I won't. It's flooded in there and there's enough damage.
Me: I need to shower/brush my teeth/have to go to work, just give me 10min.
Surly Neighbor: Nope, not going to turn it on
Me: (desperate now)can you turn it on for 3min so I can fill a couple buckets at least?
Surly Neighbor: get your buckets ready
So I dash back upstairs and simultaneously fill a couple buckets with hot water from the shower, 2 containers in the kitchen sink and brush my teeth. Then the water was gone. I had enough to bathe but didn't have time to regulate the water so it was much hotter than I normally bathe with - near scalding but better than no water or cold water I guess.
7:30am Landlord calls me to tell me to leave my back door open for my Surly Neighbor, b/c he's going to put in a shut-off for the hot water. whatever, needed to leave soon for work So I left it unlocked.
8pm I get home and find them about to leave - they've done a temp fix: put in a shut off and I have cold water but no hot water b/c that's what's causing the leaking downstairs.
Wednesday 6:30am
I boil water for my bath which is ok b/c at least it's a nice temperature, not too hot or cold.
I received several calls during the day from my landlord telling me of their plans to go in and do a permanent fix...they had to replace the piping/elbow joints from my apt to the pipes leading downstairs.
Another call @ 6pm - He informs me that they noticed another leak - when he turned on the tap in the kitchen, it was leaking from it's drain onto the bath rm floor under the sink. He says, "if you don't mind, could you not use the kitchen sink at all, we're going to come back Thur and try to put a temporary fix in." If I don't mind? If I don't mind? Not like I have a real choice.
A couple friends at work who I told offered me use of their spare rooms for as long as I needed. So I decided to go home, get an overnight bag to stay at T's for the night. Her husband was away for the week on business so I didn't feel too bad about imposing.
7pm - I get home, they've just started working. So I get my stuff and go over to T's. We get pizza, watch Idol. I slept really well all things considered.
Thursday
Got up at 6:30am and was actually ready to go @7:10am. Walk out to my car, guess what's on my windshield? A parking ticket written at 2am! A $50 parking ticket. So I look around and there's no sign posted anywhere near me on my side of the street. There is one on the opposite side of the street that is completely obscured except for the number 9. That's the only thing on it not erased. I just take it in and drive to work. The closest sign is maybe 150ft away. NO where near the house where I was parked. So I'm going to protest this ticket. It wasn't posted close enough. As I drove off I finally saw a sign at the intersection of the street and the main road "no parking mon-fri 12am-9am. It says this on both sides of the street. On a dead-end street. T was pretty upset and even offered to go halfs on the ticket-she felt so bad. I refused of course-not really her fault. She said they'd lived there 3 yrs and have people visit and park on the street and have never known anyone to get a ticket before. She'd never even noticed the "no parking" signs.
My consolation is that 2 other cars parked there also had tickets. The last time I got a parking ticket for parking on the wrong side in front my building, none of the other cars around me had tickets. That pissed me off. It was posted every 3 or 4 houses so I couldn't really say I didn't see the signs even though I didn't until after the fact.
6pm I call my landlord and ask if I can use the sink, he says they need another day so no using the kitchen sink yet. Not great but doable, not like I planned to cook anything Thurs night. Had grilled bacon/tomato/cheese sandwiches. They were really good.
Sat 4th March
I call my landlord b/c my bath rm sink had some kind of water pressure problem, water was just trickling out. So he tells me he'll come with a plumber Mon night. some of the pipe connections were still iron pipes which tend to get clogged with gunk(his words).
Sun
He comes by and does something with it b/c when I get back from choir/errands, the water pressure seems normal i.e. I can actually wash my hands in less than 3min.
So I think, maybe I was mistaken and he came today to fix it. Wrong.
Monday 6:30pm
I get a call on my cell while I'm still at work telling me that he and the plumber have arrived and are going to take care of things...
8:00pm - I get home to find them both still in my bath rm "fixing". They don't leave until 10:30pm and there is a mysterious leak in the new elbow joint they've put in that they can't seem to fix. It's a small, slow leak so they put a bucket under it and tell me that maybe the joint will 'swell' in a couple days and it'll stop. The floor under the sink/toilet has been removed and the dank, smelly wood underneath exposed. it reeks in there. Plus they must've knocked the toilet roll off in water and put it back b/c it has gurbby marks on it and also that swollen, frilly look at one end that tissue/paper towls get if you drop one end in water. What kills me is that they put it back. it's a good thing I always put my glasses on before goin to the loo b/c I could have used (shudders to think) that on my person. How Gross is that? So I've left it there for them to futz around with and have opened a new roll which I hide in the closet before I leave.
11:30pm - banging on my back door (accessible only by my downstairs neighbor or landlord, it my downstairs neighbor telling me he has a flood in his kitchen and he thinks it's coming from me. I have no water on any of my floors so this seems uinlikely to me. He asks to come in and look for himself. I let him (b/c I just want to get to sleep). He looks and can't find the source, not in my bathrm...not under my kitchen sink. He tells me he thinks "they broke a pipe in the wall and that he's
"turned off the water". I'm exhausted and nothing he says really means anything to me - I just need to sleep.
Tuesday 6:30am
Time to get ready for work - then it dawns on me...no water. So I call my landlord and ask him what to do, I have to get ready for work. He tells me to go out the back and knock on my neighbor back door then ask him to turn it on so I can get ready. I do this - nothing, no response. So I have to put on my coat/socks/shoes and go out the front...into the 3°F morning cold to bang on their front door. Part of the conversation goes like this:
6:45
Me: Can you turn the water on for 10-15min I need to get ready for work
Surly Neighbor: NO, I won't. It's flooded in there and there's enough damage.
Me: I need to shower/brush my teeth/have to go to work, just give me 10min.
Surly Neighbor: Nope, not going to turn it on
Me: (desperate now)can you turn it on for 3min so I can fill a couple buckets at least?
Surly Neighbor: get your buckets ready
So I dash back upstairs and simultaneously fill a couple buckets with hot water from the shower, 2 containers in the kitchen sink and brush my teeth. Then the water was gone. I had enough to bathe but didn't have time to regulate the water so it was much hotter than I normally bathe with - near scalding but better than no water or cold water I guess.
7:30am Landlord calls me to tell me to leave my back door open for my Surly Neighbor, b/c he's going to put in a shut-off for the hot water. whatever, needed to leave soon for work So I left it unlocked.
8pm I get home and find them about to leave - they've done a temp fix: put in a shut off and I have cold water but no hot water b/c that's what's causing the leaking downstairs.
Wednesday 6:30am
I boil water for my bath which is ok b/c at least it's a nice temperature, not too hot or cold.
I received several calls during the day from my landlord telling me of their plans to go in and do a permanent fix...they had to replace the piping/elbow joints from my apt to the pipes leading downstairs.
Another call @ 6pm - He informs me that they noticed another leak - when he turned on the tap in the kitchen, it was leaking from it's drain onto the bath rm floor under the sink. He says, "if you don't mind, could you not use the kitchen sink at all, we're going to come back Thur and try to put a temporary fix in." If I don't mind? If I don't mind? Not like I have a real choice.
A couple friends at work who I told offered me use of their spare rooms for as long as I needed. So I decided to go home, get an overnight bag to stay at T's for the night. Her husband was away for the week on business so I didn't feel too bad about imposing.
7pm - I get home, they've just started working. So I get my stuff and go over to T's. We get pizza, watch Idol. I slept really well all things considered.
Thursday
Got up at 6:30am and was actually ready to go @7:10am. Walk out to my car, guess what's on my windshield? A parking ticket written at 2am! A $50 parking ticket. So I look around and there's no sign posted anywhere near me on my side of the street. There is one on the opposite side of the street that is completely obscured except for the number 9. That's the only thing on it not erased. I just take it in and drive to work. The closest sign is maybe 150ft away. NO where near the house where I was parked. So I'm going to protest this ticket. It wasn't posted close enough. As I drove off I finally saw a sign at the intersection of the street and the main road "no parking mon-fri 12am-9am. It says this on both sides of the street. On a dead-end street. T was pretty upset and even offered to go halfs on the ticket-she felt so bad. I refused of course-not really her fault. She said they'd lived there 3 yrs and have people visit and park on the street and have never known anyone to get a ticket before. She'd never even noticed the "no parking" signs.
My consolation is that 2 other cars parked there also had tickets. The last time I got a parking ticket for parking on the wrong side in front my building, none of the other cars around me had tickets. That pissed me off. It was posted every 3 or 4 houses so I couldn't really say I didn't see the signs even though I didn't until after the fact.
6pm I call my landlord and ask if I can use the sink, he says they need another day so no using the kitchen sink yet. Not great but doable, not like I planned to cook anything Thurs night. Had grilled bacon/tomato/cheese sandwiches. They were really good.
Sunday, March 4
How Normal Am I?
| You Are 40% Normal |
 While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself |
I just had to know...this also made me laugh :)
How Irish Am I?
| You're 55% Irish |
 You're very Irish, and most likely from Ireland. (And if you're not, you should be!) |
This result made me laugh. Well, I have been to Ireland and I even have an Irish last name(well it's actually Scottish but close enough) so maybe not so farfetched as it seems :)
blog personality
| Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP) |
 Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving. |
What exactly does "sensing" mean? What? Like an instrument? I like the idea of being unique though.
not so invisible
Just when I thought that I was practically invisible...my (relatively new) cubicle is next to 3 other women who work on same project and talk mostly to each other, sometimes over and around me. It kinda makes me feel left out. Invisible. They don't know me so I don't blame them for not really including me in their conversations - most of which I don't have much interest in since mostly it's about their house/kids/husband.
Anyhoo, remember my funny calendar, I put it up at work and when it was March 1st I was so busy, I forgot to change it from February. As I sat down for lunch, they said, aren't you going to change it, we've been dying to see what it says for March? So I changed it and they weren't disappointed b/c it was really funny:
You're just jealous...because the voices only talk to me...
One even took a pic on her phone and said she was sending it to all her friends to make them laugh. It makes me smile every time I see it so why not share the joy? They also said that they couldn't wait for the next month to come around.
Kinda nice not be invisible.
Anyhoo, remember my funny calendar, I put it up at work and when it was March 1st I was so busy, I forgot to change it from February. As I sat down for lunch, they said, aren't you going to change it, we've been dying to see what it says for March? So I changed it and they weren't disappointed b/c it was really funny:
You're just jealous...because the voices only talk to me...
One even took a pic on her phone and said she was sending it to all her friends to make them laugh. It makes me smile every time I see it so why not share the joy? They also said that they couldn't wait for the next month to come around.
Kinda nice not be invisible.
Saturday, March 3
when will it stop
I'm off advair for good. I'm never taking it again. After being on it for 4 days, I had tremors in my hands for most of the next two days. The 4th day - muscle spasms and severe cramps in my hands and feet. I had a difficult time getting to sleep that night b/c my toes kept twisting and sticking in that cramped position for minutes at a time and I just couldn't find a position that they didn't hurt. After about an hr of this it subsided a bit. So I stopped taking it. Since I stopped taking it - no more muscle spasms or cramps. I'm convinced that the advair is the cause specifically the salmeterol component of it. I've gone back on flovent. Haven't been to my doc since. I've had a hectic week at work, then with the snow and ice, just haven't had time to deal with it. To try to convince them that no, I'm not crazy...yes, the medication is causing this...no, I'm not making up the side effects...they are printed on the info packet listed as rarely occurring....rarely does not mean impossible. I also don't want them to put me on prednisone. I really do think I need antibiotics now. It seems like I've had this cold (infection?) for a month now. I don't think the asthma drugs are enough to take care of it. Only thing left now is for me to convince them of this.
I've started having nosebleeds again, not big ones yet. Usually when I try to blow my nose, blood clots come out. To take the allergy meds (rhinocort) I'm supposed to blow my nose first,then spray in each nostril. Haven't been able to take it all week b/c every time I blow...blood. My nasal passages are just really irritated so I have to give them a break.
I finally called my landlord about the unshoveled state of the sidewalk. He came over today and took care of it. He said that he's paid a couple kids who live on the street to do it but they've not touched it. Neither has the lazy man who lives next door in my building. My landlord also said he wished I'd told him sooner b/c I shouldn't have had to do it myself. Apparently I'm the only one who noticed and who can't a)walk on ice, or b)through 6 or more inches of packed snow or c) has a phone.
Whatever, dude.
I almost fell about 5 times trying to get to my car this morning. Last night I sanded our walkway and a bit of the driveway next door so I could get out to the street/my car. This morning, I went out to find that my moronic neighbor parked their stupid SUV right in front of the walkway. So I had no place to pass. All where I sanded...useless to me with their stupid car in the way. On the other side, ice sheets. I ended up squeezing past their stupid car and inching then jumping over the ice sheets on their unsanded/salted part of the sidewalk.
I'm officially tired of winter now.
I had to get my yearly inspection done before the end of Feb. I got a recommendation for a garage and went there on Mon evening ~520pm. My original appt was for 5pm but there was a lot of traffic and I didn't get out of work as early as I thought I would. Anyway, they didn't fuss. My inspection cost $269. Why? I needed new front tires. Apparently they were too 'bald' to pass inspection. The mechanic told me "I don't know how you use these tires last week in the snow, I don't know" Even his wife who handled my invoice said "I have never seen such bald tires." So I got new tires. Luckily I had my card and money in my account. She then said " now you can be safe out there". They're a cute middle-aged Russian couple. He told me "I could put these tires or these ones - the first are like sneakers and the others are like boots...I think you need the boots" I said "give me the boots then"
Yeah - obviously I need heavy duty tires if I could drive them down so low without noticing. They're all season and I did notice a difference in the feel of my car since I got them. At least there good now and I will pay attention to them more than I did before(meaning, I will actually look at them from time to time :)
Made to the gym once this week. Have not been feeling great and have also been a lazy bum. Got to get back on track though.
I brought this poinsettia plant home -they used a lot of them to decorate the church I go to and the Sunday before Ash Wed, they told us to take as many home as we liked b/c they had to move all the decorations for the Lenten season. So I brought one home. It's pretty. Since then I've noticed black flies randomly flying around. I kept wondering where the hell they were coming from. I also noticed a weird moldy smell whenever I sat at he computer. Today I found out that the smell, flies and poinsettia...all connected. Ack! I took a closer look and found maybe 6-7 flies flying around in the pot and there was also mold growing on the top of the soil where the dead leaves had fallen. So I bundled it all up in a trash bag and put it outside my back door. No trash pickup till Tues so I'll get rid of it then. I was very grossed out by this.
I've started having nosebleeds again, not big ones yet. Usually when I try to blow my nose, blood clots come out. To take the allergy meds (rhinocort) I'm supposed to blow my nose first,then spray in each nostril. Haven't been able to take it all week b/c every time I blow...blood. My nasal passages are just really irritated so I have to give them a break.
I finally called my landlord about the unshoveled state of the sidewalk. He came over today and took care of it. He said that he's paid a couple kids who live on the street to do it but they've not touched it. Neither has the lazy man who lives next door in my building. My landlord also said he wished I'd told him sooner b/c I shouldn't have had to do it myself. Apparently I'm the only one who noticed and who can't a)walk on ice, or b)through 6 or more inches of packed snow or c) has a phone.
Whatever, dude.
I almost fell about 5 times trying to get to my car this morning. Last night I sanded our walkway and a bit of the driveway next door so I could get out to the street/my car. This morning, I went out to find that my moronic neighbor parked their stupid SUV right in front of the walkway. So I had no place to pass. All where I sanded...useless to me with their stupid car in the way. On the other side, ice sheets. I ended up squeezing past their stupid car and inching then jumping over the ice sheets on their unsanded/salted part of the sidewalk.
I'm officially tired of winter now.
I had to get my yearly inspection done before the end of Feb. I got a recommendation for a garage and went there on Mon evening ~520pm. My original appt was for 5pm but there was a lot of traffic and I didn't get out of work as early as I thought I would. Anyway, they didn't fuss. My inspection cost $269. Why? I needed new front tires. Apparently they were too 'bald' to pass inspection. The mechanic told me "I don't know how you use these tires last week in the snow, I don't know" Even his wife who handled my invoice said "I have never seen such bald tires." So I got new tires. Luckily I had my card and money in my account. She then said " now you can be safe out there". They're a cute middle-aged Russian couple. He told me "I could put these tires or these ones - the first are like sneakers and the others are like boots...I think you need the boots" I said "give me the boots then"
Yeah - obviously I need heavy duty tires if I could drive them down so low without noticing. They're all season and I did notice a difference in the feel of my car since I got them. At least there good now and I will pay attention to them more than I did before(meaning, I will actually look at them from time to time :)
Made to the gym once this week. Have not been feeling great and have also been a lazy bum. Got to get back on track though.
I brought this poinsettia plant home -they used a lot of them to decorate the church I go to and the Sunday before Ash Wed, they told us to take as many home as we liked b/c they had to move all the decorations for the Lenten season. So I brought one home. It's pretty. Since then I've noticed black flies randomly flying around. I kept wondering where the hell they were coming from. I also noticed a weird moldy smell whenever I sat at he computer. Today I found out that the smell, flies and poinsettia...all connected. Ack! I took a closer look and found maybe 6-7 flies flying around in the pot and there was also mold growing on the top of the soil where the dead leaves had fallen. So I bundled it all up in a trash bag and put it outside my back door. No trash pickup till Tues so I'll get rid of it then. I was very grossed out by this.
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