2nd/last date

I went out on a 2nd date with the EB. We went to see “The Break Up”.
The movie was enjoyable enough except that I thought Aniston’s character was insane to think that all her vague implications would have meaning for her boyfriend-it was a stretch even for me to understand what she expected him to read from her words/actions. Maybe, I’m just more blunt than most.

I enjoyed the movie mostly except for the fact that EB was wearing a watch whose alarm went off at least 7 times during the movie. Yeah, he was THAT guy. I was so embarrassed and annoyed by this. I asked him why he didn’t just turn it off. He said he didn’t know how. Not just that, he waited for it to beep-bleep-beep before turning it off. Every single time. I wished he would just pay attention to it or keep his finger on it so he could stop it as soon as possible every time it went off. We got many stares and I kind of wanted to move and sit elsewhere.

Yeah so after that we went to a bar downtown which has pool tables and dart boards, etc. We played a few games I won 2 out of 3 so I was pretty pleased with that. The last game was the best - a thing of beauty, if I had a camera, I'd have taken a pic I won the last game in the best way (not by sinking the 8 ball too early-which is how he won the first game and I won the second).

All through this, his watch continues to alarm every 10-15 minutes or so. I asked him to let me look at it, maybe figure it out. I was wondering how come a computer scientist couldn’t figure out something like that but I guess not everyone is electronically inclined. He either didn’t hear my offer to figure it out or just chose to ignore it. He said half laughing “this (alarm) makes people think I’m an important person”. Actually, I could come up with many adjectives for what people hearing the stupid alarm probably thought of him but none were “important”.

Overall, I had a good time I guess. There were moments though when he said things that made me think he has us practically married already (after only 2 dates) and I don’t think he knows how many kids we're having but it probably won’t be long till he has a number in mind. Things that he said that implied this to me:
• Talk about how all his siblings are married with kids already and keep asking when he’s going to do the same.
• When is he going to see my apt (yeah I don't think so)
• He’s going to take me to see his apt soon (uhh, no thanks)
• When am I going to invite him over and cook some Caribbean food
• When he can meet my friends…maybe when I cook for him I could invite them as well
• He plans to move out of his current apt (he has 2 roommates) to get a single apt soon (and I need to know that because...)
• What time I would call him today
• Have you told your friends and family about me? What did you say? What did they say?

He asked what I did for fun. I told him, watch movies, and listen to music, bowling, pool, stuff like that.
I asked what he did for fun and his answer the first time I asked was – that’s a good question (that’s all he said). Then I asked again a bit later (b/c he kept insisting that I ask him questions – why I’m not sure). Anyhoo, he said that when he had a girlfriend (his ex-fiancee), they would go out to clubs, movies, eat out. So then I asked what he did now. He said not much since they broke up.

Just so needy that at times I felt like running away. I just can’t deal with that. I won’t.

Then there are the comments he made from time to time. I felt like he was judging my decisions/likes/dislikes. I kept feeling the need to defend myself. I shouldn’t have to defend the fact that I like Celtic music. So what. Because I’m Black I have to like rap/hip-hop and if I don’t then I must have an identity crisis. WTF?
Examples of this:
• You sound “white” – whatever the hell that means. b/c I speak properly and have a pretty good vocabulary? Of course I don’t sound like a Black American. I not Black American, I’m Black yeah, but not American. Strangers who talk to me for the first time always say, “I hear a bit of an accent, where are you from?” They’ve never said “you sound white”. Oh yeah, he didn’t think I should have been offended by that.
• EB: How do you identify yourself? ME: I’m Trinidadian. EB: you don’t identify yourself as Black? Most people I ask would say I’m Black… Me: It’s obvious that I’m Black, it may not be obvious that I’m Trinidadian. I wouldn’t think to say I’m Black, what else could I possibly be?
Then he says that I shouldn’t be offended by him saying I sound white or whatever b/c he was just kidding. The worst thing anyone can say to me (or imply) is that my feelings are not valid. I shouldn’t be offended b/c he’s decided so. Who does he think he is? My mind? Well, I told him I reserve the right to get offended if I felt offended.

So now I just have to tell him that I don’t want to take this any further. He’s so clingy and he seemed to have all these plans for us already. As if we are already an “us”.

If all that isn’t enough, I’m still not the least bit attracted to him. He’s good-looking enough just not my type. In fact, while we were playing pool, there was a couple playing darts next to us and I couldn’t help but think “he’s hot”. Not my date but hers. Not a good sign. He says he’s 33 but he seems older to me still. He’s also shorter than I realized before-I was wearing 2” wedges and he and I were really close in height. That means he’s probably 5’2” or 3 in other words…really short. I was telling my Mum about him today – he kept asking me if I had told my Mum about him and what she said – all I will say is that he really really does not want to know what my Mum said.

He told me “all” about his previous relationship. He was engaged to someone who he says left him b/c she wanted to be married straight away but he wanted to wait until after he got his PhD. Now she lives in the city and has gotten a dog. A very fishy story that seems to be missing bits and pieces. I’d think she’s be married by now to someone else if she left b/c she wanted to get married soon. Or maybe that was his friend’s wife. He tells so many stories about his family and friends, it’s hard to keep it all straight.

At least he doesn’t know where I live (we’ve been meeting at neutral locations) and I don’t believe he knows my last name either.
So I think I need to be more specific when next I ask the universe for something...deja vu?