Wednesday, October 31

I'm only 3 months into my current lease. This means it's going to be a long torturous 9months until I can move. My neighbors, the morons and their demon spawn are driving me freakin insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 30

the fog

I like fog. Don't care much for driving through it, especially at night. I kinda like driving through it in the early morning but I can't fully enjoy the experience b/c I'm afraid that some idiot will be driving too fast and crash into me...which puts a damper on my joy. I do like the fog though. It's crazy and weird. I wish I had the time to just stand outside and enjoy it...walk through it :)
I'm usu on my way to work when it appears so I do have time to mess about. There is no fog where I'm from. Maybe that's why I'm so fascinated by it.

Wednesday, October 24

earlyish day

The power went out today just after our 2hr group meeting. It was around 4pm. I was planning to leave early to get my allergy shots - by early I mean before 5-how sad is that? Anyhoo, we trouped into lab quickly to turn off the instruments/machines and such to prevent them from being ruined by power surges - and then were kind of loitering around as people in other groups were as well. Only the emergency lights were on in the hallways.

Power outages mean that not only do our computers go down but also our hoods go down. This means we have to get out of the labs if we are in them b/c the air quality gets really bad. I went to lab one last time to check my lab notebook and saw our group leader doing a walk-through, she told me that we should probably go home as it was after 4pm. I immediately told my colleagues, grabbed my bag and got the hell out of there. I got to my car and drove as if the hounds of hell were after me. Well, almost :) She didn't have to tell me twice.

The power was also out in our building across the street(where my park was parked) b/c a lot of them were outside in the parking lot just standing there. We(my co-workers and I) are so conditioned that whenever the power goes out, we don't leave unless we get an official word regardless of time of day. We usually don't get one. Eventually, individual managers can tell their reportees whether or not to leave. It's a little sad but that's the way it is. Some people feel very proud of the fact that they waited 2-3hrs in the parking lot until the power came back. Losers! I usually try to find my manager to see what the word is.
Even though I had to go get my allergy shots, I didn't care, I was just glad to be leaving work while it was still light out :)

Friday, October 12

Online dating

My snarky-short profile online has gotten more views in the 2 weeks it's been up than the well-thought-out, much-edited one I made the last time I tried online personals for 6 mths. I keep getting ice-breakers from guys wihtout pics. C'mon, they wouldn't really respond to a woman without knowing what she looked like. What do they take me for.

Also I'm intrigued(not) by the guy who's 41 (my upper age limit is 38), with no photo, who wrote me "we seem to have a lot in common". What? Like...we're both humans who live in NY...cause I fail to see how my profile which clearly says that I'm looking for man aged 27-38, non-smoker, no kids preferred, wants kids eventually - I don't see what we have in common at all.
His profile has inexplicable numbers in place of's like some sort of puzzle...oh wait, it's code for his email...clever. He not only has kids but is looking for someone who 'loves his kids' (sight unseen I imagine), doesn't want any more kids, smokes, and thinks we have a lot in common. Am I missing something? I don't think so.

One cute guy did send me an ice breaker saying "he liked my smile". So I sent him one back saying "i bet you say that to all the girls". Cute, right? Apparently not, b/c he then sent me one saying, "sorry to hear we're not a match, thanks for letting me know". Again, I'm confused. He sounded like a guy I would like to get to know, at least on paper. I thought about writing him to explain - of course to do that I would have to fork over money). I did not pursue it further mainly b/c he's 24. I'm so over trying anything at all with a guy more than 5 yrs younger than me - that's my new cut-off. Also b/c his profile says he's looking for someone aged 18-28. No more pursuing guys who clearly are looking to date an infant.

I can't take any guy seriously who says he wants a woman aged 18- or 21- when they are in their 30s,40s or 50s. What are they really going to talk about with an 18yr old. Seriously?

I lot of these guys think 38 means anything from 41 to 60. And those extra 20yrs were rough, hard years. These men look way too old. I can give or take a couple years but not if they look 60 at whatever age they claim to be (41-50-something).

Still, this is fun and I'll keep at it for a while until it ceases to be amusing :)

Sunday, October 7

online dating, sort of

So I've been checking out the online dating profiles again, just for fun and b/c I'm bored. I had to make a profile b/c yahoo doesn't let you scan profiles anymore unless you have one of your own. So I made a quick one. Yahoo sends me all these silly "dating tips" things. The list below is a list of 10 questions they suggest you can ask to keep things "flirty and fun"

1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?
2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor and why?
3. What is the most romantic place that you've been on a date?
4. What would you do if we got stuck in a snow storm in the mountains?
5. If you were going to take me out for a romantic evening, what would we do?
6. What is your favorite thing to do with a partner for fun?
7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
8. How long have you played guitar? (Ask about something in their profile.)
9. Wow, is that your cute golden retriever? (Compliment something in their photograph.)
10. When are we going to meet to find out whether we would ever want to kiss each other? (Depending on the person, you can sound cute using this one)

If someone asks me #1, 2, 3, or 4, I wouldn't really be keen on them. IN fact, it'd probably turn me right off them. Where did you get that smile? What kind of question is that? Surely guys can come up with something better than that. As for #10, how can I know whether I'd want to kiss someone or even entertain that idea without meeting them. If guys who get this same email from yahoo ask me any of the 5 questions...instant deal-breakers for me. Maybe this is why I'm alone.

a lovely day to be out

Had a really good day yesterday. I've been meaning for a while to visit some of the local parks in the area - there are many in new york state and several of them within 30-45min drive from where I live so I really have no excuse for not seeing any of them. So Sat, I slept in till 10am then got up and puttered around my apt a bit. Around 2pm I was ready to go out and see some nature :) I had to get gas, mail a couple packages, then I was off. I was able to find it fairly easily - only took one wrong turn, I realized immediately and reversed to take the right one. Luckily there was only 1 car behind me and it was not very close :) It cost $6 to get in and park, not bad. The lake was very pretty and quite calming. There were several families scattered around with campers and such on the way to the lake (10mph speed limit :).

At the lake itself, there were one or two canoes, kayaks and the occasional loud jet-ski in the distance. I had a couple snacks with me and water, my ipod, books and camera. I even brought along my sketchbook in case I felt like doing a little drawing. Took a few pictures...

I spent almost 2 hrs there, just relaxing and enjoying my book. It was great. Then I felt a lone raindrop, looked up and the sky had darkened a bit. So I packed up and headed out. None too soon, within 10min it was pouring. I imagine that many of the people who were now walking down to the lake as I was leaving were soaked to the skin. I stopped at a lookout point after 15min of driving - the rain had slowed a bit to a fine drizzle. I took a couple pictures. Such a fantastic view. It soon started pouring again so I quickly got back in my car, checked my map to get my bearings, then was off for home.

I will have to go back. Maybe earlier in the day so I could stay longer. I wanted to be on my way home before it got dark - less chance of getting lost that way :)

I'm going back in a couple weeks, by then I think most of the leaves would have turned or started turning, and it should be really lovely for picture taking.

Monday, October 1

c'est la vie

I had plans for Sat. I was going to breakfast most likely with T around 10ish then apple-picking with E and crew at 1pm. Then maybe dinner at E's as well.

I'd been nagging AK aka my crush/my former crush/the enemy since before my week off to my sis' wedding, to do something for his birthday which was this past weekend. He vetoed all my suggestions but couldn't come up with any of his own either. So Thurs I see him and say, well you have my number if you think of something, call me. So he comes over to my lab late Fri evening and asks if I want to go to a BBQ with him Sat. It was being given by his boss for all the guys in his lab as well as a few other managers. He said they told him he could bring a date(and I quote) and he asked if I wanted to go with him as his date.

So I kinda balked (in my mind - thinking that I wanted to date him but didn't want it public knowledge until we at least had a few regular dates...I didn't want to appear to be dating him before we actually went out on a real date). Anyhoo, I asked what time and he didn't say exactly, just that we could prob go after I came back from picking apples. So I told him my plans for Sat - and said he could call me and we'd see. So he called me around noon and said he wanted to go at 1pm. So I told him I'd prob be back by 3pm and asked if that was ok. He said that was fine. He didn't say no to my suggestion. He didn't ask if I could go with him at 1pm instead. I would have totally bailed on picking apples and gone earlier if he'd asked. He acted like it was fine - I thought we had a plan. I was so excited then. I feel really foolish now.

So I went to pick apple/drink some cider with my friends and we got back just after 3, and I drove over to his apt - he lives less than 5min from E. I get there and he comes out and we start driving over. Then he tells me that he actually went to the party at 1pm after all and just came back for me. So now I'm a bit confused. B/c he didn't tell he was still planning to go earlier. So now I'm feeling a little weirded out. We get there 15min later. I knew almost eveyone there from work -except for their wives. We said hello to the host and went in to get some food on his invitation. We get back outside and there aren't many seats free. There are 2 seats next to each other and one more separated by a lot of space and a table. He sat in the chair furthest away. So I took the seat closest to him (which was not very close at all) and kinda dragged my chair a little closer. The sun was shining directly in our eyes if we looked straight ahead. I tried to make conversation with him but it was difficult with our seats and the sun. eventually one of the wives came and sat in the empty seat next to me and we chatted for a while. After a while we went in to get some dessert. We came back out and more chairs were free so I took one by the table. There were 3 chairs free, 2 on one side of me and 1 on the other. Guess where AK decides to sit when he comes back outside - not in any of the free seats near me but instead he sat in a chair almost at the edge for the deck. Almost like he wanted to make sure people didn't mistake us for a couple. He kept up this bizarre sitting as far as possible from me thing for half our time there. We're friends, or at least I thought we were. If he didn't want them to think of us as a couple, he shouldn't have asked me to go with him in the first place. Friends go as each other's date to things like this, don't they? I don't know, maybe he was miffed b/c I didn't go with him from 1pm. I just don't know. Eventually the host asked him to start a campfire and handed him some kindling. Does he ask me to join him or follow or anything? No. He just got up and proceeded to walk over to the campfire area, so I followed and said I like to see too. After that he was a little more friendly towards me. Not in any way that might be construed as being boy-friendly but at least he'd stopped acting like I had cooties or something.

I was very hurt by this. I just don't understand. On the drive back I wanted to ask him if he managed to get as far enough away from me as he wanted. But I didn't know how to ask without doing something embarrassing like crying or shouting irrationally at him. So I didn't say anything then. And I'm not going to...ever.

I saw him as I was leaving work today, we were both leaving at the same time. Usually I would walk over to him and we'd chat for a while. Not today. I said hi and kept walking towards the door as we were casually chatting about the day's work (we usu park in different parking lots so we go out different doors). After a couple minutes, I said bye and left. Go me! He seemed friendly and somewhat flirty like he normally is. Whatever. I'm done. I don't understand but that's fine. I don't have to understand. He was kind of a jerk to me on Sat. It was a good thing that I actually knew most of the people there from work else I'd have been not only sitting by myself but would also have been stuck trying to make small talk with strangers.

I just expected more and got much less than I'd bargained for. C'est la vie! or at least C'est ma vie!

In Macy Gray's song, Everybody, she says "you're either enemy or you are the friend". I really like that line :-) AK is now the enemy. or maybe I am?