for perspective
Saturday, May 26
why I have to move again
Though I'm not quite up to moving again emotionally, I fear that I'll lose my sanity if I don't. If it was just one thing, maybe I'd not even consider it but there are just too many things that are not right.
The Cons of staying:
- apt cold even though heat is supposedly included in my rent(now it's too hot)
- neighbor downstairs screams at her kids at all hours of the day and night
- said kids scream(like someone is killing them) at all hours of day or night
- said kids run up and down at all hours
- neighbor also snores really loudly at night(I've lost quite a bit of sleep b/c of this)
- I'm uncomfortable telling my stupid neighbors to quiet down when they get too loud b/c said neighbor is the same guy my landlord asked me to leave my back door open for so he can fix the plumbing - don't really want to piss them off
- I got another stupid parking ticket (my 4th since living here)
- there's a weird "moldy" smell in my living room which I can't locate (I've looked and cleaned and moved eveything in that section of the room to no avail - and can only imagine that maybe it's from the guy next door as we share the wall where the smell emanates from. Either that or the mold is in the wall. Ewwww!
- whenever it rains, my bathrm develops a mildewy/moldy smell for a couple days (which I only notice now b/c they never fully put the floor back in...from when they had to fix the leak they caused when they were replacing old iron pipe - all b/c I wanted the water from my bathrm sink to come out at more than a trickle...this lead to a cascade of events leaving me with a partially patched up wall(which they had to remove to replace the pipes after they discovered the leaks) under the sink and a partially covered bathrm floor
- bathrm floor cannot get wet (or so the landlord has told me, neither can the kitchen floor. Why would anyone sane replace the flooring in the 2 places most likely to get wet, with some kind of laminate flooring that "can't get wet" is beyond my understanding.
- they still need to "fix" the pipe from the kitchen which runs through the bathroom (they need to pull out the radiator in the bathrm for this, they plan to do this with me in residence)
- the expense of moving again(though I have had firm offers of help so maybe it won't be nearly as costly as it was last time when I hired movers)
The Pros of moving:
- quiet neighbors (one can hope)
- guaranteed parking = no more stupid parking tickets because they recently changed a stupid sign on your street and a stupid overly large SUV was parked in front of you, blocking the new stupid sign which you would have noticed if stupid SUV wasn't in front of you. can also blame stupid SUV b/c it was stupidly parked in such a way that it was hell fitting into the spot behind it, thereby distracting me enough so that I forgot "no parking Tues night". Phooey.
- heat in winter
- normal sized bathroom(you cannot imagine how small my current one is)
- bigger closets (hopefully)
- maybe even a dishwasher
- no mysterious "moldy/mildewy" smells
- affordable
Does it not sound like I need to move?
The Cons of staying:
- apt cold even though heat is supposedly included in my rent(now it's too hot)
- neighbor downstairs screams at her kids at all hours of the day and night
- said kids scream(like someone is killing them) at all hours of day or night
- said kids run up and down at all hours
- neighbor also snores really loudly at night(I've lost quite a bit of sleep b/c of this)
- I'm uncomfortable telling my stupid neighbors to quiet down when they get too loud b/c said neighbor is the same guy my landlord asked me to leave my back door open for so he can fix the plumbing - don't really want to piss them off
- I got another stupid parking ticket (my 4th since living here)
- there's a weird "moldy" smell in my living room which I can't locate (I've looked and cleaned and moved eveything in that section of the room to no avail - and can only imagine that maybe it's from the guy next door as we share the wall where the smell emanates from. Either that or the mold is in the wall. Ewwww!
- whenever it rains, my bathrm develops a mildewy/moldy smell for a couple days (which I only notice now b/c they never fully put the floor back in...from when they had to fix the leak they caused when they were replacing old iron pipe - all b/c I wanted the water from my bathrm sink to come out at more than a trickle...this lead to a cascade of events leaving me with a partially patched up wall(which they had to remove to replace the pipes after they discovered the leaks) under the sink and a partially covered bathrm floor
- bathrm floor cannot get wet (or so the landlord has told me, neither can the kitchen floor. Why would anyone sane replace the flooring in the 2 places most likely to get wet, with some kind of laminate flooring that "can't get wet" is beyond my understanding.
- they still need to "fix" the pipe from the kitchen which runs through the bathroom (they need to pull out the radiator in the bathrm for this, they plan to do this with me in residence)
- the expense of moving again(though I have had firm offers of help so maybe it won't be nearly as costly as it was last time when I hired movers)
The Pros of moving:
- quiet neighbors (one can hope)
- guaranteed parking = no more stupid parking tickets because they recently changed a stupid sign on your street and a stupid overly large SUV was parked in front of you, blocking the new stupid sign which you would have noticed if stupid SUV wasn't in front of you. can also blame stupid SUV b/c it was stupidly parked in such a way that it was hell fitting into the spot behind it, thereby distracting me enough so that I forgot "no parking Tues night". Phooey.
- heat in winter
- normal sized bathroom(you cannot imagine how small my current one is)
- bigger closets (hopefully)
- maybe even a dishwasher
- no mysterious "moldy/mildewy" smells
- affordable
Does it not sound like I need to move?
another week
This week didn't start out great but all in all was a good week. Had a slight mix-up with a few compounds I was shipping and recheck/rerun several pieces of data to be sure I had them labeled correctly. I did, thank goodness but I had to check to be certain. My job depends greatly on accuracy and certainty. If stuff goes awry, you need to be able to say that you are 100% certain of things. I was glad I checked and made sure.
My supervisor was his usu surly self but his boss(B2)and his boss's boss (B3) both gave me several compliments this week. I shipped out 4 compounds last week, have 4 going next week and 4 will be ready to go the week after that. I've been working a little extra to get the work done since I was supposed to shift to new targets soon. Anyhoo, they were both impressed with my progress and felt that I had done a great job and shipped the compounds out in record time. It was really nice to have those compliments repeated. Usually when I make a mistake, I have to listen to my boss, B2 and B3 (job culture = hierarchy, chain of command) all tell me about my error and how I should take care not to repeat it in the future, and the steps I need to take to avoid it in the future. So it's nice to have compliments repeated in the same vain.
My group went to lunch this week to say farewell to a co-worker(moved to another project) - I wasn't going to have dessert b/c no one else seemed to want it. Then B3 said, if you want it, get it, you deserve it, you've been working hard (usually the most senior manager there picks up the tab for our group lunches). How cool is that? So I had triple layer chocolate cake. Pretty good cake.
In other news...I'm getting a turtle. For real this time. My friend has one reserved for me (his turtles layed eggs and he incubated them and several of them hatched and are doing well). So now I have to get a tank and stuff for it. I'm so excited. I haven't asked my landlord. I've decided to move again. See "why I have to move again"
My supervisor was his usu surly self but his boss(B2)and his boss's boss (B3) both gave me several compliments this week. I shipped out 4 compounds last week, have 4 going next week and 4 will be ready to go the week after that. I've been working a little extra to get the work done since I was supposed to shift to new targets soon. Anyhoo, they were both impressed with my progress and felt that I had done a great job and shipped the compounds out in record time. It was really nice to have those compliments repeated. Usually when I make a mistake, I have to listen to my boss, B2 and B3 (job culture = hierarchy, chain of command) all tell me about my error and how I should take care not to repeat it in the future, and the steps I need to take to avoid it in the future. So it's nice to have compliments repeated in the same vain.
My group went to lunch this week to say farewell to a co-worker(moved to another project) - I wasn't going to have dessert b/c no one else seemed to want it. Then B3 said, if you want it, get it, you deserve it, you've been working hard (usually the most senior manager there picks up the tab for our group lunches). How cool is that? So I had triple layer chocolate cake. Pretty good cake.
In other news...I'm getting a turtle. For real this time. My friend has one reserved for me (his turtles layed eggs and he incubated them and several of them hatched and are doing well). So now I have to get a tank and stuff for it. I'm so excited. I haven't asked my landlord. I've decided to move again. See "why I have to move again"
Sunday, May 20
stranger than me
Tonight I rented "Stranger Than Fiction"(STF). I saw it in the cinema but was in the mood for it again tonight. Went to the video store to choose a movie for tonight - I had one free movie coupon left (from reward point from a credit card). I was determined to borrow a movie I hadn't seen before. My choices..."the last king of scotland" or "the good shepherd". I wasn't really in the mood for either of those movies, even though I do want to see them eventually. Felt like something more upbeat and funny. So I went with STF. Such a great movie. The only thing is that when I first saw this movie - I went with several friends. We had horrible seats in the nosebleed section, partly due to the fact that there were 6 of us, we were late and it was opening weekend and the place was packed. Anyhoo, one of the friends with me was C. And I had such a great time watching the movie with him next to me. He and I laughed at many of the same things (that most other ppl weren't laughing at). He was very touchy-feely. Not inappropriately, he only touched my hand or arm from time to time. I liked it, a lot. And later we went for coffee and hung out for a while with a couple other friends. He sat next to me again and seemed so into me. It was a very good night, at least I thought it was. I was sure he'd call soon for us to hang again. He even suggested it himself to me that night. But then...nothing. No calls from him, nothing. This was back in December I think. He hasn't called me since. Several times I started dialing his number but bailed at the last minute before it goes through. Then I recently saw his ad on yahoo personals...for someone other than me...much younger than me...any race but black. I'd almost forgotten about that night. Guess I was trying to block it out b/c it's tied to the other not-so-good stuff.
So there's this guy at the gym who I thought was kinda cute but he seemed shy. I don't have much patience for the shy. I just don't. Anyhoo, finally he comes over to me and talks to me at the gym for quite some time (while I worked out on 3 different machines). So I figure, the next time he sees me, he's going to ask for my number at the very least or ask me out...maybe for drinks or coffee sometime. Well, I was wrong again. I swear, sometimes my love-life (or lack thereof) is a like a country-western song. 5 times now he has come over to talk to me. Does he expect to learn all about me without even paying for a coffee. What am I supposed to think? That he's interested? Or that he's not interested? Whatever I'm supposed to think...what I think now is that he's a weirdo. One of my friends told me I should ask him out for coffee. But I fear if I do this, it'll only confirm my suspicions that he's a weirdo and then I'll end up having to give him that awkward "I'm just not interested in you" talk b/c I was the one who asked him out first.
The other weird thing is that I saw him tonight. Not at the gym(cause you know there's no way I'm going there on a sun), but at the gas station where I decided to go fill up my tank before going to get my movie (the gas station is next door). The weird thing is that he was there at all b/c he lives far away from there (at least 15min or more) whereas I live 5 min from there. The gas is cheaper there than at most stations and he drives an Audi which needs premium grade so maybe it's worth it to him to drive that far. I always wonder about people driving around (wasting gas) to find the cheapest gas. Surely it'd be cheaper to get gas closest to you than to drive further for it. imho, but what do I know. From our conversations...where he never asks me for my number or asks me out...I don't think we have much in common other than the fact that our parents are from the same country. Plus with every meeting, he's becoming less cute and more weird. He totally came up behind me at the gym the other day and I was like "whoa, don't sneak up on me". What does he think? that we have thing now? That he can get into my personal space and I'd be ok with that. Maybe I'm the one who's weird. I just don't think this guy is it.
I have a totally inappropriate crush on a guy at work - he's 22. I'm sure it'll pass. He's funny and and sarcastic and so quick-witted. And 22. I try not to visit his lab anymore so I don't see him much. This is for the best. I couldn't even think about dating this guy ever. Even if he was interested in someone 10 yrs older. He's way too young. Plus, he's a co-worker in my former lab and that would just make me fodder for the rumor mills. Who needs that? I sure don't. I only bring this up b/c I was telling T while we were out at lunch about my crush. Well I started to say " I think my crush is fading, this is good". She said "oooh, the guy from the gym?" And I was like "not him, no way, he's barely even cute anymore, I don't have a crush on him at all. I was talking about a guy here at work". I planned to keep his name to myself for as long as possible. Well until the crush goes away completely. Any day now, it's bound to happen.
I just don't know what to think or do about this guy at the gym. I actually have a name for him - dorkyD. It's a little mean, I know. In my defense all I can say is that, no guy who was interested in me before waited this long to ask for my number. Not even the weirdos. Actually, the weirdos always want my number asap or give me theirs if I refuse to give them mine. The longer he waits, it'll be 3 weeks mon. Granted I only see him a couple times a week at the gym and I only went once last week. I have seen him randomly before though. At the grocery - again far away from where hw claims he lives. Well he has to pass 4 or 5 other groceries to shop at that one. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was stalking me.
I gotta stop this train of thought - obviously, I'm tired and should go to bed now.
So there's this guy at the gym who I thought was kinda cute but he seemed shy. I don't have much patience for the shy. I just don't. Anyhoo, finally he comes over to me and talks to me at the gym for quite some time (while I worked out on 3 different machines). So I figure, the next time he sees me, he's going to ask for my number at the very least or ask me out...maybe for drinks or coffee sometime. Well, I was wrong again. I swear, sometimes my love-life (or lack thereof) is a like a country-western song. 5 times now he has come over to talk to me. Does he expect to learn all about me without even paying for a coffee. What am I supposed to think? That he's interested? Or that he's not interested? Whatever I'm supposed to think...what I think now is that he's a weirdo. One of my friends told me I should ask him out for coffee. But I fear if I do this, it'll only confirm my suspicions that he's a weirdo and then I'll end up having to give him that awkward "I'm just not interested in you" talk b/c I was the one who asked him out first.
The other weird thing is that I saw him tonight. Not at the gym(cause you know there's no way I'm going there on a sun), but at the gas station where I decided to go fill up my tank before going to get my movie (the gas station is next door). The weird thing is that he was there at all b/c he lives far away from there (at least 15min or more) whereas I live 5 min from there. The gas is cheaper there than at most stations and he drives an Audi which needs premium grade so maybe it's worth it to him to drive that far. I always wonder about people driving around (wasting gas) to find the cheapest gas. Surely it'd be cheaper to get gas closest to you than to drive further for it. imho, but what do I know. From our conversations...where he never asks me for my number or asks me out...I don't think we have much in common other than the fact that our parents are from the same country. Plus with every meeting, he's becoming less cute and more weird. He totally came up behind me at the gym the other day and I was like "whoa, don't sneak up on me". What does he think? that we have thing now? That he can get into my personal space and I'd be ok with that. Maybe I'm the one who's weird. I just don't think this guy is it.
I have a totally inappropriate crush on a guy at work - he's 22. I'm sure it'll pass. He's funny and and sarcastic and so quick-witted. And 22. I try not to visit his lab anymore so I don't see him much. This is for the best. I couldn't even think about dating this guy ever. Even if he was interested in someone 10 yrs older. He's way too young. Plus, he's a co-worker in my former lab and that would just make me fodder for the rumor mills. Who needs that? I sure don't. I only bring this up b/c I was telling T while we were out at lunch about my crush. Well I started to say " I think my crush is fading, this is good". She said "oooh, the guy from the gym?" And I was like "not him, no way, he's barely even cute anymore, I don't have a crush on him at all. I was talking about a guy here at work". I planned to keep his name to myself for as long as possible. Well until the crush goes away completely. Any day now, it's bound to happen.
I just don't know what to think or do about this guy at the gym. I actually have a name for him - dorkyD. It's a little mean, I know. In my defense all I can say is that, no guy who was interested in me before waited this long to ask for my number. Not even the weirdos. Actually, the weirdos always want my number asap or give me theirs if I refuse to give them mine. The longer he waits, it'll be 3 weeks mon. Granted I only see him a couple times a week at the gym and I only went once last week. I have seen him randomly before though. At the grocery - again far away from where hw claims he lives. Well he has to pass 4 or 5 other groceries to shop at that one. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was stalking me.
I gotta stop this train of thought - obviously, I'm tired and should go to bed now.
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