boy update

So I am still dating TW - it's been just over 2mths since we started dating.

I was a bit confused ever since I got back from my holiday. Partly b/c I was a bit naughty and kinda hooked up with a guy (let's call him BG) - if I wasn't plastered, I might have stopped sooner than I did. As it was, it was a very close call. This is just not the sort of thing that I normally do. Ever. I met BG the last time I was there and we clicked but nothing happened. I really like BG and there is major chemistry but he lives on another continent. I like TW and he lives here - in the same city as me. And he's probably better suited to me as well.

I was thinking too much - wondering if maybe BG would be a better guy b/c there was so much chemistry. Honestly though, I haven't spent much time actually talking to BG - the sexual chemistry clouded almost everything else out. I don't know if there's a chance for more or not. I may never get the chance to find out.

TW is a really sweet guy and he's fun and I have a great time whenever we hang out. He made me this really cool gift for Christmas. I was a bit apprehensive when he told me he was making me something but it is perfect and appropriate. If you want to know what it is, email me and I'll send you a picture (I don't want to post it b/c it is unique).

So I've decided to stop second-guessing myself. To stop analyzing everything. Stop trying to "figure out where the relationship is going". Stop pondering... are we in a relationship? should I ask him to define the boundaries of such? should I have a talk with him about being exclusive and not dating other people? So many questions...Instead, I'm just going to enjoy and take things one day/date at a time. As long as it remains positive and fun, then I'm going to run with it.

relax and enjoy

It's 24F but wind chill is only 4F. Small wonder that I was freakin' freezing when I walked the 2 min out to put my netflix DVD in the mailbox.
I went out to the bar last night with my friend Z and it was a lot of fun. It started snowing big fluffy snow flakes and we went out in it and stuck out our tongues. This was fun for less than a minute, then it was just too cold for that kinda nonsense :)

I met a guy online and we met for coffee a couple times. He seemed like a really sweet, normal guy. So we've been out a few more times. He's funny and smart has a great way with words. He's 29 (good age) and not married (also key). I like him. I was a little ambivalent at first b/c he's 6'5" and I'm almost 5ft. He wasn't kidding at all on his profile when he listed that as his height. He's also much leaner than any other guy I've dated before. I was a little worried about being a much shallower person than even I had realized before because both these superficial things really bothered me at first. My friends told me, "you're just looking for excuses, give the guy a chance...how would you like it if he said, she's funny, cute and really nice but just too short".
After all, I was really attracted to him from his emails. In person, when we're sitting, the height thing doesn't occur to me at all. He has really pretty blue eyes which says something that I even noticed at all. It usu takes me forever to figure out what color a guy's eyes are, I guess I don't often pay enough attention. But I noticed his so I think that's a good sign.

So I'm glad I didn't freak out in front of him about it. My Mum says I should just wear heels all the time now. :)

I'm taking things slowly, who knows if it'll become serious or not. For now, I'm having fun with him every time we go out together. So I'm just going to relax and enjoy it.

dating tips

I posted this entry the other day about tips the yahoo personals sent about what to write in an email.
They should give tips like these instead...

1. Do not type in all CAPS or all lower case, use punctuation. What are you? animals? No, it is not a cute writing style.
2. Do not post unflattering pictures of yourself - if that's the only one you have, get out and have someone take a better picture of you. Speaking of pictures, do not post pictures of yourself taken from below the chin - unflattering on everyone.
3. Do not continue to stalk someone/send emails/continually check the profile of people who kindly sent you an email indicating they were not interested.
4. Please use the spell check option if you can't spell, it's nothing to be ashamed of - unless you spell words like intelligent incorrectly. Conveys doubt.

That's all I can come up with on the fly. Any other suggestions?

Oh and as a side note: why do old men who smoke keep writing me when I have a specific age range 10 or more yrs younger than they are? I'm asthmatic, smokers are a deal-breaker. They don't know that but they should know that I also specified non-smoker.

what i love about online personals...

...that they tell you their age/height/race in their profile bio even though it is there in the basic stats of your profile - meaning you should write something other than what's there

...that they are looking for someone stable(mentally) - I've seen this on more than one profile...as opposed to what? Are there people out there who prefer someone unstable?

...people who type their entire profile in CAPS - Morons

...people who send you a long drawn-out (4-paragraph) email the first time they write you - why invest all that when you don't even know if the person's interested. Try an ice-breaker instead like hi, like your profile, etc.

...stalkers, I mean, people who check out your profile every day but never send you emails

Online dating

My snarky-short profile online has gotten more views in the 2 weeks it's been up than the well-thought-out, much-edited one I made the last time I tried online personals for 6 mths. I keep getting ice-breakers from guys wihtout pics. C'mon, they wouldn't really respond to a woman without knowing what she looked like. What do they take me for.

Also I'm intrigued(not) by the guy who's 41 (my upper age limit is 38), with no photo, who wrote me "we seem to have a lot in common". What? Like...we're both humans who live in NY...cause I fail to see how my profile which clearly says that I'm looking for man aged 27-38, non-smoker, no kids preferred, wants kids eventually - I don't see what we have in common at all.
His profile has inexplicable numbers in place of words...it's like some sort of puzzle...oh wait, it's code for his email...clever. He not only has kids but is looking for someone who 'loves his kids' (sight unseen I imagine), doesn't want any more kids, smokes, and thinks we have a lot in common. Am I missing something? I don't think so.

One cute guy did send me an ice breaker saying "he liked my smile". So I sent him one back saying "i bet you say that to all the girls". Cute, right? Apparently not, b/c he then sent me one saying, "sorry to hear we're not a match, thanks for letting me know". Again, I'm confused. He sounded like a guy I would like to get to know, at least on paper. I thought about writing him to explain - of course to do that I would have to fork over money). I did not pursue it further mainly b/c he's 24. I'm so over trying anything at all with a guy more than 5 yrs younger than me - that's my new cut-off. Also b/c his profile says he's looking for someone aged 18-28. No more pursuing guys who clearly are looking to date an infant.

I can't take any guy seriously who says he wants a woman aged 18- or 21- when they are in their 30s,40s or 50s. What are they really going to talk about with an 18yr old. Seriously?

I lot of these guys think 38 means anything from 41 to 60. And those extra 20yrs were rough, hard years. These men look way too old. I can give or take a couple years but not if they look 60 at whatever age they claim to be (41-50-something).

Still, this is fun and I'll keep at it for a while until it ceases to be amusing :)

online dating, sort of

So I've been checking out the online dating profiles again, just for fun and b/c I'm bored. I had to make a profile b/c yahoo doesn't let you scan profiles anymore unless you have one of your own. So I made a quick one. Yahoo sends me all these silly "dating tips" things. The list below is a list of 10 questions they suggest you can ask to keep things "flirty and fun"

1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?
2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor and why?
3. What is the most romantic place that you've been on a date?
4. What would you do if we got stuck in a snow storm in the mountains?
5. If you were going to take me out for a romantic evening, what would we do?
6. What is your favorite thing to do with a partner for fun?
7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
8. How long have you played guitar? (Ask about something in their profile.)
9. Wow, is that your cute golden retriever? (Compliment something in their photograph.)
10. When are we going to meet to find out whether we would ever want to kiss each other? (Depending on the person, you can sound cute using this one)

If someone asks me #1, 2, 3, or 4, I wouldn't really be keen on them. IN fact, it'd probably turn me right off them. Where did you get that smile? What kind of question is that? Surely guys can come up with something better than that. As for #10, how can I know whether I'd want to kiss someone or even entertain that idea without meeting them. If guys who get this same email from yahoo ask me any of the 5 questions...instant deal-breakers for me. Maybe this is why I'm alone.

now i know

I think I finally figured out why C never called me even though he seemed keen, interested and said he would - even though I erased my profile from yahoo, I still get occasional emails about matches based on basic search criteria. Well, guess who was on there tonight. I checked out his profile after seeing his pic. I must confess that I made a new profile so I could actually read what was in his (they don't let you open profiles after a while until you create one of your own).
He's looking for a woman 20-24 who's not Black. He had all the other criteria checked in the ethnicity category except Black. Very telling. Usually I look at this section in a guy's profile first, no point reading and getting excited about some guy who doesn't date/is not interested in Black women (for whatever reason).
Not only am I Black, I'm also older than 24. 2 strikes in his book surely. So now I know. Am I happier with this knowledge? NOT at all. I guess it's better to know though. So glad I never called him after he promised to call me. How embarrasing would that be...to be chasing after a guy who's not interested in you at all, not really, not in a romantic way in any event.