It seems like with every week that goes by, I keep looking for Fri. This is not normally the case. I usu can wait but recently, things have not been great, it's been really sucky sometimes and I can only wait for Fri. It's all I can do.
I've been feeling down and out most of the week, had a really bad night Mon, cried and cried and cried. For no specific thing...just everything seemed wrong and I just couldn't seem to shake it or stop. All I've been listening to lately is angry or sad music. Usually, my playlist is mixed and has some upbeat mixed in with the sad. The angry is usu good if I'm in a bad mood or while working out.
My playlist lately looked something like this:
The Carpenters "goodbye to love" and "i won't last a day without you" and of course "rainy days and mondays"
Three Days Grace "just like you" and "scared" and "home"
Avril Lavigne "slipped away"
The Cranberries "daffodil lament"
Don Henley "the heart of the matter"
Hootie & the Blowfish "goodbye"
Joni Mitchell "both sides now"-version from love actually soundtrack
"cora" from Last of the Mohican's soundtrack
Air Supply "here i am" and "i can wait forever"
Bryan Adams "do i have to say the words"
Backstreet Boys "safest place to hide"
Toni Braxton "i don't want to"
Smile Empty Soul "who i am"
many celtic songs including
...the lakes of Pontchartrain / benedy glen - Deanta
the curragh of kildare / john of dreams - Cherish the Ladies
sunlight on the water - Phil Coulter
the bantry girl's lament - Reeltime
darkness, darkness - Solas
skye boat song/mist covered mountains - Culture Ceildh Band
Tonight was the first night I've felt like something more upbeat. I felt really weird this week.
Something good today - my new group leader called me into her office today for a minute. I shipped out 4 compounds since I've been on the project, compounds they've been waiting on to test further b/c the initial results from them were promising. She wanted to congratulate me on getting them shipped. I was very pleased. Maybe I will have a chance to prove that I'm worth more than the things those bastards put in my evaluation. I'm not going to think of that now.
My back and shoulder and calves hurt like hell this week - with all the shoveling I did Wed (5 times) and Thurs morning again.
Wed night around 11pm, I started panicking b/c my car was stuck/parked on the wrong side of the street with our snow emergency in effect. I was suddenly afraid that I'd be towed. Especially since I was watching the local news and heard people talk of being towed. Luckily one of my neighbors was outside shoveling his walkway. He offered to help me dig my car out. it took us about 30min and we had to keep stopping every time there was a really strong wind gust. The kind that literally takes some breath away. He even helped me by pushing and giving me direction-go forward/reverse/turn right/reverse/etc - so that I could get onto the "road". Said "road" had about 4-5inches of snow/slush on it. My girl(that's my car :), she didn't like it at all. She grunted and spun her wheels.
After driving a couple blocks, still no parking in sight on the right side - my girl got stuck. Wouldn't move forward or back. I saw a couple college kids crossing in front of me - intent on sledding I think - if the sleds in their hands were anything to go by. They offered and tried pushing but still my girl just wouldn't go and I could smell rubber - not a good sign. Finally one of the girls tapped on my window - she told me that she could get it to move for me. I was so fed up by this time that I just got out and stood by while she got in the driver's seat. By that point I just didn't care. She got in and moved it in a flash. Unfortunately, she turned in the opposite direction of where I'd intended to go. She didn't realize that I wanted to go the other way. No matter, I said, and thanked them and her and just drove down that hill into a spot. Well it was almost a spot, much closer to the middle of the road than the side of the road but I didn't care at all by then. I then had to hike back the 4 blocks to my apt. Through the unplowed streets and sidewalks. I ran for some of the way b/c the wind was really fierce in addition to the below zero wind chill.
Thursday morning I had to walk the 4 blocks to my car with my handbag, lunch bag and shovel and snow brush just in case I needed them. So glad I left my shovel in my apt b/c I had to shovel my walkway to get out to the street. Also glad I took the shovel with me to my car b/c there was a good bit of snow stuck in front of the undercarriage and front wheels. Took me about 10min to get it dug out so not too bad. Then I prayed she would just go and she did. I almost got into an accident. Some silly old man opened his car door out wide just as I was going past his car. I started to swerve to avoid hitting the stupid man's door and my car started skidding. Luckily there weren't any other cars on the other side of the road else I would have been screwed.
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