motivation

Trying on swim suits are a great way to motivate yourself into going to the gym.

I was in Target over the weekend and saw a few suits on sale. Tried on a couple (different sizes)and ummm I just put them back and got out of there as fast as I could. Why? It's called back-fat. I have it. It's not pretty. While I do think that the style of the suits were probably not suited to my body shape, I didn't expect them to look that awful from the back. They were one-piece suits with the back cut out. I think a tankini-style suit is probably more my style.

In my head I figured that if I lost ~5lbs I'd be fine...near if not at my optimum weight...anymore than that and I'd start wasting away(or so I thought). The back-fat tells another story though. Maybe I could stand to lose more like 10-15 lbs after all. According to the BMI/body fat charts/calculators, my optimal weight is 25-30lbs less than I weigh. I don't think I need to lose that much. I think I have a medium frame and as such could stand to have more weight than they allow for my height. My actual weight(number) is not what I really care about, I think being able to fit into clothes comfortably would be nice. Not to be hanging over my jeans/belt would also be good. Not to have several creases in my back, ideal. And if I could minimize the love handles to the point where I don't have to name them, perfect.

Finally the kick I needed to get back to the gym. Every day I kept telling myself that today's the day...today's the day that I go back to the gym...but today never seemed to come. I'd end up staying at work too late or be too hungry or too tired or just plain not-in-the-mood. Tonight, no more excuses. I worked out for an hour incl wieght machines/warm up and cool down.

My feet are killing me. My lower back and hamstrings don't feel too great either. Might have done a little too much. That's me, all or nothing. No moderation. Nothing in between.

Another reason I was reluctant getting back to the gym was that I didn't want to answer questions like...were you on vacation? thought you moved? Got a few of those but I had answers ready..."yes I was on vacation [from the gym hehe"] or "yes, it's been a while hasn't it". :) No big deal really. Stuff like this always seems like a bigger deal in my head that they work out to be in reality. I don't always remember that.

I did see a guy that I normally say "hi" to whenever I see him at the gym. I've also bumped into this same guy at the grocery store. I kept telling myself that one of these days he's going to have enough courage to actually come up to me and speak :)
Today was totally that day. He saw me and waved and I waved back. Then to my surprise, he walked right over (from the other side of the gym, I might add) and said more than hello. He said "long time no see", etc. I kinda told him about my recent motivation in brief...trying on swim suits, just the motivation I needed to get back to working out. He said - what do you mean? you look very attractive, you don't need to worry about it at all". Isn't that sweet? We chatted for a bit while I worked on a few machines. He and I have something in common. His parents are also from T&T. We had a nice chat. He also asked if I had been on vacation somewhere b/c I seemed to have gotten darker. I told him about my trip home 4 mths ago. The main reason I'm darker now is because there is actual sunshine and I have been walking outside whenever the weather allows. I got a great deal of sun this past weekend as I went walking with T in the morning on Sat. It was great. We walked for about an hour then sat outside a local coffeehouse, with iced tea and bagels, before walking back to her house. I was also outside during prime sunshine hrs on Sun. So great after the many days of rain we had early last week.

I'm in pain, time for some advil, I think, then bed.