Sunday, January 27
another week, another cold
I have another cold. I think this is s new record for me - 3 colds in a month. I had a sore throat Tues night and woke up with it Wed morning. I went to work for a couple hrs Wed and then went home b/c I was feeling pretty bad. Also stayed home Thu - coughed all day. Went in on Fri and felt much better even though I was still hoarse and coughing occasionally. I felt better. Sat morning I woke up with a headache and a sore throat and was a bit concerned but I just ignored it, took some sudafed and went about my day. took a walk with my friend around 9pm after dinner - this was probably a mistake b/c I wasn't dressed warmly enough for walking outside in 24F temps. I woke up today with a headache, hoarseness and bad cough. I still went to choir and made it through rehearsal with only a few coughs. During the service though - it was bad. I had to go to the bathroom about 8 times to cough - it sounded like my lungs were going to come up in my throat. It was getting worse b/c the service was going on and I was trying not to cough. That always makes it worse. So half-way through the service I left and came home. I spent the day resting mostly and am off to bed now. Hopefully I'll feel better soon. It's so annoying to be sick again. I'm so fed up of it. At work they tell me to stay home when I'm sick but they never do. They come in sick and infect me and then I always get sicker than they do. It sucks ass.
Tuesday, January 22
Heath Ledger - can you believe it? My friend told me today and I figured it was some sort of sick joke but it seems to be true. It's just crazy b/c he seemed so stable. Not that I knew him of course. Still, there are many other actors/entertainers out there who seem to be in far more trouble than him. I guess you only get to see the face they show the world. I feel sad for his kid.
Saturday, January 19
there's this moment...
...in Stranger Than Fiction...when Ana Pascal walk in and looks at Harold(the main character) who playing the guitar and singing with his eyes closed. She gives him this look - this look that says so much without words. That's what I'm looking for, and I don't know if I'll ever find it. Find someone I'll feel that way about or who'll make me feel that way. I do know that I haven't found it yet.
This movie chokes me up every time I see it...even though I already know the ending :)
This movie chokes me up every time I see it...even though I already know the ending :)
in the land of OZ
I fell asleep on my futon last night watching tennis - woke up at 1am and Federer and Tipsarevic were still battling away. I went to bed before the match was over but it looked like it could go either way. This is the first real test Fed. has had and boy was he tested. I went to bed thinking he might actually lose.
Today I watched Hewitt(aussie's great hope) battle Baghdatis. Their match didn't start until 1am Aussie time due to the late end of the Federer/Tipsarevic match. They also went about 4hrs. I picked Hewitt to win in my raquet bracket but Baghdatis gave him a run for his money.
Nadal plays his 4th round match tomorrow so I will be tuning in for that. I love tennis.
Today I watched Hewitt(aussie's great hope) battle Baghdatis. Their match didn't start until 1am Aussie time due to the late end of the Federer/Tipsarevic match. They also went about 4hrs. I picked Hewitt to win in my raquet bracket but Baghdatis gave him a run for his money.
Nadal plays his 4th round match tomorrow so I will be tuning in for that. I love tennis.
motivation
I had a funny conversation with a guy from the gym - I might have mentioned him as the guy from the gym who couldn't get his act together. Anyhoo, I saw him this past week at the gym (yes, I actually managed to work out once this week) and he and I chatted a bit. He said I looked really good for someone who wasn't at the gym. He also said and I quote "you must be beating them off with a stick". This made me laugh and feel pretty good. Fact is, I have lost another 1/2" off my waist and 1" off my belly and 1" off my hips - the belly fat is slowly breaking away from me, I may actually be able to see me abs someday! Actual lbs lost since Sep 07 is 4. This may not sound like a lot but at 4'11 3/4", 4lbs adds up. I even feel the difference in my jeans. This has motivated me to start doing sit-ups and push-ups every other day. I can only do about 12 push-ups so far and about 25-30 sit-ups but I think this will improve if I keep at it.
I put a pick of Nadal displaying his biceps(he doesn't even have to try) in my bedroom. It's the first thing I see after I put my glasses on - it motivates me :)
I put a pick of Nadal displaying his biceps(he doesn't even have to try) in my bedroom. It's the first thing I see after I put my glasses on - it motivates me :)
musings...
It's Sat morning - I wish I had a friend I could call to go get some breakfast. My friends have lots of excuses, many of them legit. I just wish I had someone I could feel comfortable calling. I rarely turn down invites out unless I'm ill. I do have a friend I get breakfast with sometimes but when she's not feeling up to it, there isn't anyone else.
I'm just a bit whiny lately. And a bit down. I know there are people out there with real problems and issues but that doesn't mean that mine don't seem equally real and problematic to me.
This is not what I had envisioned when I thought about having a boyfriend. I don't even know if he's my boyfriend or not. I don't feel exactly free to date other people. I think I should since nothing has been said by either of us.
I've invited him to a company party in a few weeks and I'm still unsure about how to introduce him...right now I'm thinking of, this is my date "TW". He's not asked about it either. While I don't really have any first hand experience with having a boyfriend, it is my understanding that if a guy is interested in having you date only him, he will ask and ensure this. Won't he?
So after having invited him to this company event, which happens in 3 weeks, he emails me about this Fri morning - His good friend is having a birthday party tonight that he's going to and he does not invite me. Just says that he'll be going to that so maybe we could get a drink Fri night since he'll be busy Sat. Well, I worked until 6:30pm Fri night and the only thing I wanted to do was go home, eat some pizza, and watch some tennis. That's it. My apt was a bit untidy and so I didn't want company because I was too tired to clean it. Plus, my kitchen had tons of dishes piled up and I was definitely too tired to be hustling to get them washed if I was having company. SO I told him to have fun at his party and that maybe we could meet for a drink early next week instead b/c I was too tired.
Personally, I think he should have invited me to his friend's party or just not said anything about it. Fact is, that he has met one of my friends and had opportunities to meet a couple others which he declined/had other plans. I have not met any of his friends nor have I had the opportunity to do so - unless he's counting the waitress at his fav bar who knows him well. I feel he should have not said anything to me about this party since he didn't want to invite me for whatever reason.
My friend Z, said that maybe he didn't have a game-plan either about when you talk about dating exclusively. I think that's crap, but what do I know? In my experience with guys and this is really only with guys who are just my friends, when they want a girl only to date them, they say so. They don't assume anything. They make sure she knows that they want to be with her only.
The thing about this guy is that he's not my type physically at all. He's very skinny and a bit too tall. My friends say the height shouldn't matter but I am aware of it whenever we stand next to each other. I am very aware of the extra foot and a half and I feel like a freak. I try not to think about it and usually I'm not concerned about what other people think but in this case I can't seem to let this go. Maybe it has something to do with my insecurities about my height. I'm short, just under 5' and was even shorter/skinny when I was in high school. Back then I had to defend against negative comments about my height almost every day. That sticks with you. I hardly ever used to think about any of that - I guess I managed to block most of it out like I have many other unpleasant parts of my past. It keeps surfacing lately though and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
He seems to be a nice guy although he only likes to go out to eat at bars or places that serve bar-food. We tried to go to a different place and the wait was 45min, which was ridiculous, I agree, but there were maybe 10 other restaurants on that street that were somewhat similar that we could have tried. Instead he drives another 20min to a bar we've been to before for mediocre burgers.
I suggested a couple places but he said "I think those places have too many people, I prefer someplace more low key". By low-key, he means a bar, no wait, true, but mediocre to crappy food that has tons of fat and useless calories. He does pay most times, so I'm not complaining about that.
The thing is, that things are not the way I imagined they would be. I feel like it would be ok to make exceptions for someone who fit my criteria more. Maybe I'm just more shallow that I thought.
I have had these reservations about TW from the start but they have gotten worse ever since the whole making-out-thing with BG. BG is not exactly my ideal but he's more in a height range that doesn't make me self-conscious. I also felt much more comfortable with BG in a shorter space of time and I'm not quite at that level with TW yet in spite of having been dating him for a couple months.
Is it too early to meet a guy's friends? Shouldn't I get a chance to see how he interacts with people who know him well before I commit myself completely? Maybe I'm wrong. I'm probably wrong. Be that as it may, this just doesn't feel right. It has never really felt right. It's been ok and mostly fun. I'm just biding time now.
I'm just a bit whiny lately. And a bit down. I know there are people out there with real problems and issues but that doesn't mean that mine don't seem equally real and problematic to me.
This is not what I had envisioned when I thought about having a boyfriend. I don't even know if he's my boyfriend or not. I don't feel exactly free to date other people. I think I should since nothing has been said by either of us.
I've invited him to a company party in a few weeks and I'm still unsure about how to introduce him...right now I'm thinking of, this is my date "TW". He's not asked about it either. While I don't really have any first hand experience with having a boyfriend, it is my understanding that if a guy is interested in having you date only him, he will ask and ensure this. Won't he?
So after having invited him to this company event, which happens in 3 weeks, he emails me about this Fri morning - His good friend is having a birthday party tonight that he's going to and he does not invite me. Just says that he'll be going to that so maybe we could get a drink Fri night since he'll be busy Sat. Well, I worked until 6:30pm Fri night and the only thing I wanted to do was go home, eat some pizza, and watch some tennis. That's it. My apt was a bit untidy and so I didn't want company because I was too tired to clean it. Plus, my kitchen had tons of dishes piled up and I was definitely too tired to be hustling to get them washed if I was having company. SO I told him to have fun at his party and that maybe we could meet for a drink early next week instead b/c I was too tired.
Personally, I think he should have invited me to his friend's party or just not said anything about it. Fact is, that he has met one of my friends and had opportunities to meet a couple others which he declined/had other plans. I have not met any of his friends nor have I had the opportunity to do so - unless he's counting the waitress at his fav bar who knows him well. I feel he should have not said anything to me about this party since he didn't want to invite me for whatever reason.
My friend Z, said that maybe he didn't have a game-plan either about when you talk about dating exclusively. I think that's crap, but what do I know? In my experience with guys and this is really only with guys who are just my friends, when they want a girl only to date them, they say so. They don't assume anything. They make sure she knows that they want to be with her only.
The thing about this guy is that he's not my type physically at all. He's very skinny and a bit too tall. My friends say the height shouldn't matter but I am aware of it whenever we stand next to each other. I am very aware of the extra foot and a half and I feel like a freak. I try not to think about it and usually I'm not concerned about what other people think but in this case I can't seem to let this go. Maybe it has something to do with my insecurities about my height. I'm short, just under 5' and was even shorter/skinny when I was in high school. Back then I had to defend against negative comments about my height almost every day. That sticks with you. I hardly ever used to think about any of that - I guess I managed to block most of it out like I have many other unpleasant parts of my past. It keeps surfacing lately though and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
He seems to be a nice guy although he only likes to go out to eat at bars or places that serve bar-food. We tried to go to a different place and the wait was 45min, which was ridiculous, I agree, but there were maybe 10 other restaurants on that street that were somewhat similar that we could have tried. Instead he drives another 20min to a bar we've been to before for mediocre burgers.
I suggested a couple places but he said "I think those places have too many people, I prefer someplace more low key". By low-key, he means a bar, no wait, true, but mediocre to crappy food that has tons of fat and useless calories. He does pay most times, so I'm not complaining about that.
The thing is, that things are not the way I imagined they would be. I feel like it would be ok to make exceptions for someone who fit my criteria more. Maybe I'm just more shallow that I thought.
I have had these reservations about TW from the start but they have gotten worse ever since the whole making-out-thing with BG. BG is not exactly my ideal but he's more in a height range that doesn't make me self-conscious. I also felt much more comfortable with BG in a shorter space of time and I'm not quite at that level with TW yet in spite of having been dating him for a couple months.
Is it too early to meet a guy's friends? Shouldn't I get a chance to see how he interacts with people who know him well before I commit myself completely? Maybe I'm wrong. I'm probably wrong. Be that as it may, this just doesn't feel right. It has never really felt right. It's been ok and mostly fun. I'm just biding time now.
Tuesday, January 15
boy update
So I am still dating TW - it's been just over 2mths since we started dating.
I was a bit confused ever since I got back from my holiday. Partly b/c I was a bit naughty and kinda hooked up with a guy (let's call him BG) - if I wasn't plastered, I might have stopped sooner than I did. As it was, it was a very close call. This is just not the sort of thing that I normally do. Ever. I met BG the last time I was there and we clicked but nothing happened. I really like BG and there is major chemistry but he lives on another continent. I like TW and he lives here - in the same city as me. And he's probably better suited to me as well.
I was thinking too much - wondering if maybe BG would be a better guy b/c there was so much chemistry. Honestly though, I haven't spent much time actually talking to BG - the sexual chemistry clouded almost everything else out. I don't know if there's a chance for more or not. I may never get the chance to find out.
TW is a really sweet guy and he's fun and I have a great time whenever we hang out. He made me this really cool gift for Christmas. I was a bit apprehensive when he told me he was making me something but it is perfect and appropriate. If you want to know what it is, email me and I'll send you a picture (I don't want to post it b/c it is unique).
So I've decided to stop second-guessing myself. To stop analyzing everything. Stop trying to "figure out where the relationship is going". Stop pondering... are we in a relationship? should I ask him to define the boundaries of such? should I have a talk with him about being exclusive and not dating other people? So many questions...Instead, I'm just going to enjoy and take things one day/date at a time. As long as it remains positive and fun, then I'm going to run with it.
I was a bit confused ever since I got back from my holiday. Partly b/c I was a bit naughty and kinda hooked up with a guy (let's call him BG) - if I wasn't plastered, I might have stopped sooner than I did. As it was, it was a very close call. This is just not the sort of thing that I normally do. Ever. I met BG the last time I was there and we clicked but nothing happened. I really like BG and there is major chemistry but he lives on another continent. I like TW and he lives here - in the same city as me. And he's probably better suited to me as well.
I was thinking too much - wondering if maybe BG would be a better guy b/c there was so much chemistry. Honestly though, I haven't spent much time actually talking to BG - the sexual chemistry clouded almost everything else out. I don't know if there's a chance for more or not. I may never get the chance to find out.
TW is a really sweet guy and he's fun and I have a great time whenever we hang out. He made me this really cool gift for Christmas. I was a bit apprehensive when he told me he was making me something but it is perfect and appropriate. If you want to know what it is, email me and I'll send you a picture (I don't want to post it b/c it is unique).
So I've decided to stop second-guessing myself. To stop analyzing everything. Stop trying to "figure out where the relationship is going". Stop pondering... are we in a relationship? should I ask him to define the boundaries of such? should I have a talk with him about being exclusive and not dating other people? So many questions...Instead, I'm just going to enjoy and take things one day/date at a time. As long as it remains positive and fun, then I'm going to run with it.
in the land of Oz
In other news, tennis is once again saving my sanity. Aussie open, people. Watch! You'll like. Lots of exciting things happening in both the men's and women's game. Some great players out there. I don't normally watch much of the women's game but the match-ups are really good this year and I've watched a few already.
My boy Nadal really struggled to win his first round match vs Troiki(who had some killer aces and was also able to return a lot of what Nadal threw at him) but I'm hoping that's where his major hiccup will be and he'll look better as time goes on. I'm hoping he improves and makes it past the 1/4finals this year.
Federer was magnificent. I know I sound like a fan of his and I do like him though not as much as Nadal. Watching him effortlessly demolish Hartfield was a thing of beauty. I felt kinda sorry for poor Hartfield - Federer in the first round.
My boy Nadal really struggled to win his first round match vs Troiki(who had some killer aces and was also able to return a lot of what Nadal threw at him) but I'm hoping that's where his major hiccup will be and he'll look better as time goes on. I'm hoping he improves and makes it past the 1/4finals this year.
Federer was magnificent. I know I sound like a fan of his and I do like him though not as much as Nadal. Watching him effortlessly demolish Hartfield was a thing of beauty. I felt kinda sorry for poor Hartfield - Federer in the first round.
work update
I have been in no mood to post lately. I've had stuff to say but haven't had the inclination to actually write it all out.
I am having a really shit time at work since I've been back. The chemistry gods are angry. Very angry. Not just at me - several other people in my group have also been having crappy yields + weird unidentifiable impurities. The one I'm working on now has had several purifications and still has some shit in it that neither I nor the other experienced scientists in my lab can identify. It's enough to make a sane person nuts. I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out all day, every day. It's been so shit. Hopefully once I get this crap shipped, I'll have a bit more luck.
Things have to get better as some point, right?
I am having a really shit time at work since I've been back. The chemistry gods are angry. Very angry. Not just at me - several other people in my group have also been having crappy yields + weird unidentifiable impurities. The one I'm working on now has had several purifications and still has some shit in it that neither I nor the other experienced scientists in my lab can identify. It's enough to make a sane person nuts. I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out all day, every day. It's been so shit. Hopefully once I get this crap shipped, I'll have a bit more luck.
Things have to get better as some point, right?
Saturday, January 5
Happy New Year
I've not been in a mood to post much. I got back from my trip last Sat but it feels like I've been back much longer. At least it was only a 3-day work week else I don't think I would have survived.
I went out last night to a bar that had a live band. The band was pretty good. When we left my car was gone and in its place was a parking violations vehicle - bad sign. Yes, my car was towed. I had to take a taxi to it ($7.50) and then after paying ($135) to get it out, I found a $50 ticket on it. Happy New Year to me.
Needless to say that kinda ruined my night but it just the kind of shit that always seems to happen to me.
Hopefully this is the end of the crap and 2008 as a whole will turn out much better than 2007 was. I'm really tired since I didn't get in until 2am and still went to breakfast with T at 9am. I woke up at 7:30. I really should take a nap.
I'm supposed to go out with the guy TW tonight at 6 but right now I just don't feel up to it. My feelings are a bit confused where he is concerned at the moment and I don't know if I want to continue seeing him or not. There was a bit of weirdness on both our parts while I was gone and I don't know if this is what I want. I am confused (and you probably are too due to my vagueness) but that's just where I'm at now.
More to come later.
I went out last night to a bar that had a live band. The band was pretty good. When we left my car was gone and in its place was a parking violations vehicle - bad sign. Yes, my car was towed. I had to take a taxi to it ($7.50) and then after paying ($135) to get it out, I found a $50 ticket on it. Happy New Year to me.
Needless to say that kinda ruined my night but it just the kind of shit that always seems to happen to me.
Hopefully this is the end of the crap and 2008 as a whole will turn out much better than 2007 was. I'm really tired since I didn't get in until 2am and still went to breakfast with T at 9am. I woke up at 7:30. I really should take a nap.
I'm supposed to go out with the guy TW tonight at 6 but right now I just don't feel up to it. My feelings are a bit confused where he is concerned at the moment and I don't know if I want to continue seeing him or not. There was a bit of weirdness on both our parts while I was gone and I don't know if this is what I want. I am confused (and you probably are too due to my vagueness) but that's just where I'm at now.
More to come later.
Friday, December 21
on holiday
My flight was good, the lady next to me only chatted occasionally and slept for most of the flight. She did snore a bit though but I was able to drown most of it out with my iPod :) Got my luggage and train no problem and my brother-in-law came to pick me up and drop me off at the house - he then had to go back to work. So I had a shower and brushed my teeth and felt almost human again. My sis called to check that I got in alright. I took a 3hr nap then stayed awake till about midnight(english time). I went to bed then and woke up today at 9am.
After a full night's sleep, I feel just about ready to begin my holiday.
I woke up this morning in a bad position, it felt like my right arm was broken (at least how I imagine that would feel since I haven't broken any bones). Once I got out of bed and stretched out a bit, it felt somewhat better. I've had a leisurely breakfast and have been surfing the net for the last hr or so. I installed firefox on my sister's laptop - will delete it later if she doesn't like it. IE keeps shutting down. I was trying to email TW(the guy I'm dating-I keep typing this I know but only b/c I've not had more than a 2nd date or wanted more than a 2nd date with a guy in forever so this is pretty exciting for me :) and it kept shutting down before I could send it. After 3 attempts, I just gave up and wrote him 2 lines of text and hit 'send'. Tried again later on after I'd had a few hrs sleep, but couldn't remember half what I'd wanted to tell him. Oh well.
After a full night's sleep, I feel just about ready to begin my holiday.
I woke up this morning in a bad position, it felt like my right arm was broken (at least how I imagine that would feel since I haven't broken any bones). Once I got out of bed and stretched out a bit, it felt somewhat better. I've had a leisurely breakfast and have been surfing the net for the last hr or so. I installed firefox on my sister's laptop - will delete it later if she doesn't like it. IE keeps shutting down. I was trying to email TW(the guy I'm dating-I keep typing this I know but only b/c I've not had more than a 2nd date or wanted more than a 2nd date with a guy in forever so this is pretty exciting for me :) and it kept shutting down before I could send it. After 3 attempts, I just gave up and wrote him 2 lines of text and hit 'send'. Tried again later on after I'd had a few hrs sleep, but couldn't remember half what I'd wanted to tell him. Oh well.
Saturday, December 15
The Golden Compass
I saw the Golden Compass this past week. I really enjoyed it. I think it's worth seeing. I haven't read the book but plan to over the holiday break. I was out last night at a local bar with my friend Z and we were chatting with these 2 guys. They were very cool and we even exchanged numbers and plan to hang out again. One of the guys and I totally clicked but in a completely platonic way. He has a potential girl and I have a potential guy. I think he and I can be friends though. I have so missed have close guys friends I can hang out with. I've lost touch with most of the ones from college so I'd really like it if this works out.
While we were there, I was telling one of them that I'd really like to get an armoured bear like Iorek from the movie :) He was very cool(the bear). A guy at another table leaned over and jumped in and said to me "a lot of atheists say that they left God completely out of that movie". I have so many issues with that statement. For one, if what he says is true, for at least some atheists, then why do they care? IF they really don't believe in God what does it matter. Another thing that kills me - when the first Narnia movie came out, people said, there were too many Christian connotations(that it was very propaganda-like) and that's why they didn't like it. Now with The Golden Compass(TGC) movie, they are complaining because they think it's lacking God. WTF? I did not have a problem with either movie. If I had to choose a fav between the 2 movies it'd be tough. For visual effects alone, I would choose TGC over Narnia b/c none of the scenes made me think of CGI special effects. It all looked real. The polar bears in particular as well as the other animals looked so real and I know logically that they couldn't have been real and speaking :) but in all the scenes - you believe it. In Narnia, there were several scenes which I could tell were done by models/computer graphics/etc. yet that didn't diminish my enjoyment of it. Also with Narnia, I knew the basic story from having seen a cartoon version of the story as a child, so I had a fondness for the story ahead of time. All I knew about TGC was what I got from the previews I saw. Also b/c I haven't read the book yet, it didn't seem to be missing stuff and it set up the next sequel at the end.
That's my 2 cents.
While we were there, I was telling one of them that I'd really like to get an armoured bear like Iorek from the movie :) He was very cool(the bear). A guy at another table leaned over and jumped in and said to me "a lot of atheists say that they left God completely out of that movie". I have so many issues with that statement. For one, if what he says is true, for at least some atheists, then why do they care? IF they really don't believe in God what does it matter. Another thing that kills me - when the first Narnia movie came out, people said, there were too many Christian connotations(that it was very propaganda-like) and that's why they didn't like it. Now with The Golden Compass(TGC) movie, they are complaining because they think it's lacking God. WTF? I did not have a problem with either movie. If I had to choose a fav between the 2 movies it'd be tough. For visual effects alone, I would choose TGC over Narnia b/c none of the scenes made me think of CGI special effects. It all looked real. The polar bears in particular as well as the other animals looked so real and I know logically that they couldn't have been real and speaking :) but in all the scenes - you believe it. In Narnia, there were several scenes which I could tell were done by models/computer graphics/etc. yet that didn't diminish my enjoyment of it. Also with Narnia, I knew the basic story from having seen a cartoon version of the story as a child, so I had a fondness for the story ahead of time. All I knew about TGC was what I got from the previews I saw. Also b/c I haven't read the book yet, it didn't seem to be missing stuff and it set up the next sequel at the end.
That's my 2 cents.
Friday, December 14
Busy Little Bee
I had a semi-hectic day today even though I had the day off from work, I had many errands to run. I wanted to get my shopping done. I know I left it till the last minute but it's finally done. I just have to mail stuff tomorrow and I'll be pretty much done. I leave for my sister and London in 4 days. Going for 2 wk vacay. I can't wait.
I had books to return to the library, more to pick up for my trip. I plan to spend my vacation doing 3 three things, namely, eating, reading and sleeping.
I had to go to the ATM, then quick stop at the grocery. From there I stopped at Circuit City then Walmart (both in same lot) then went to the mall and hit several clothing stores looking for something for my sis. I looked in 5 stores and finally found something I think she'll like in Macys. From there, had to get gas then finally back home. I did all this between 10:30-1:30pm. I was supposed to meet TW(the guy I've been dating for almost a month) for lunch. I got back just in time. We hung for a while, lunch was good. Then finally I could relax.
I dug up this video on YouTube of a soca parang as we call it - mr santa claus, the song is really funny. They played this a lot last year when I was in Trinidad for Christmas.
Another very catchy song by the same guy, Remy, that I like - roti and kuchela
Words from the song:
Bus-up-shut(Paratha) is an Indian flat bread that's broken up(like busted up or bus-up - get it :)
Roti(Dhalpuri) is another type of Indian flat bread that has ground split peas inside
Kuchela - usually a mango chutney (other local fruits can be used as well) often homemade but can also be bought in any grocery
I had books to return to the library, more to pick up for my trip. I plan to spend my vacation doing 3 three things, namely, eating, reading and sleeping.
I had to go to the ATM, then quick stop at the grocery. From there I stopped at Circuit City then Walmart (both in same lot) then went to the mall and hit several clothing stores looking for something for my sis. I looked in 5 stores and finally found something I think she'll like in Macys. From there, had to get gas then finally back home. I did all this between 10:30-1:30pm. I was supposed to meet TW(the guy I've been dating for almost a month) for lunch. I got back just in time. We hung for a while, lunch was good. Then finally I could relax.
I dug up this video on YouTube of a soca parang as we call it - mr santa claus, the song is really funny. They played this a lot last year when I was in Trinidad for Christmas.
Another very catchy song by the same guy, Remy, that I like - roti and kuchela
Words from the song:
Bus-up-shut(Paratha) is an Indian flat bread that's broken up(like busted up or bus-up - get it :)
Roti(Dhalpuri) is another type of Indian flat bread that has ground split peas inside
Kuchela - usually a mango chutney (other local fruits can be used as well) often homemade but can also be bought in any grocery
Sunday, December 9
sick still
Still sick. Had to cancel my date yesterday, I was kinda disappointed to say the least but I really felt like crap and I was coughing a lot as well as blowing my nose :( My date TW was very understanding and he even offered to bring me soup or cold medicine or anything I needed. I thanked him for the offer but said I was ok.
My sis said I should have pretended otherwise and let him come over and bring me juice or something - even if it meant I had to hide the juice I had :) Yeah, I don't think so. For one, I hate having people see me when I'm sick. For another, that's just not me, if I really needed something, I'd ask, but I can't pretend otherwise. Maybe I'm too independent but that's just me.
My cough is really bad and I've had to take my inhaler several times. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow - some of the stuff I'm coughing up is green - not a good sign.
My sis said I should have pretended otherwise and let him come over and bring me juice or something - even if it meant I had to hide the juice I had :) Yeah, I don't think so. For one, I hate having people see me when I'm sick. For another, that's just not me, if I really needed something, I'd ask, but I can't pretend otherwise. Maybe I'm too independent but that's just me.
My cough is really bad and I've had to take my inhaler several times. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow - some of the stuff I'm coughing up is green - not a good sign.
Saturday, December 8
sick...and tired of being so
I am so sick. I left work at 4:30 Fri. This may not sound early to most but I usu leave at 5:30 most Fri. I'd had enough. I made a mistake with a couple compounds I wanted to ship so they won't be going out and I now have to do more stuff with them before they can be shipped. It turns out they are not what I thought i had made, something weird happened and they are missing a group. Coincidentally, the group that's replaced the one I was trying to make has some of the same characteristics as what I was trying to make. So that's partly why I didn't realize it. Such a Bummer! Nothing I can do. I was trying to get these other 2 reactions cleaned up and submitted for analytical to screen them but I was just so tired and hoarse and feeling generally crabby after I found out about the compounds that won't ship - I had to get out of there. Kinda felt like it was all for nothing. I should have stayed home Thurs. I'd have gotten as much done if I had. Thurs was a totally crappy day and lots of random shit happened that prevented to from making any real progress with my reactions.
My Cold's Progression:
Tues: woke up with horrible sore throat that not even gargling with salt water helped, also had general body aches and low grade fever. Took some zicam and drank lots of fluids, felt ok apart from sore throat.
Wed: woke up sneezing, sore throat changed and now only hurt when I tried to swallow. Also started coughing occasionally, no fever.
Thurs: Woke up, felt ok. Got out of bed and had a minor headache, slight runny nose, no fever. Felt worse as the day wore on. Took zicam, cetacol and drank so much water I had to use the bathroom every hour.
Fri: woke up with headache, no fever, coughing sporadically, can't blow my nose too much b/c it's bleeding whenever I blow more than once. Can't take my allergy nasal spray --> my stomach is also upset (b/c of nasal drip falling into my stomach) in addition to the chills, general malaise.
Sat: horrible coughing fit, general feeling of unwellness. Runny nose which I can only blow gently occasionally b/c bleeding. Lots of phlegm. Gross. Took some tussin to try to get some this grossness out of my body.
My kitchen looks like a bomb hit it. I'm so not in the mood to have my hands in water right now so it's probably going to stay that way for a while.
I have a date later today - we're supposed to go to a museum, then get something to eat and maybe play pool or bowling. At least that was the plan. I will probably have to cancel even if I feel better later. The worse parts of my day(when I feel like death) are early morning and late evening. Plus I really don't want to give him this sickness.
My Cold's Progression:
Tues: woke up with horrible sore throat that not even gargling with salt water helped, also had general body aches and low grade fever. Took some zicam and drank lots of fluids, felt ok apart from sore throat.
Wed: woke up sneezing, sore throat changed and now only hurt when I tried to swallow. Also started coughing occasionally, no fever.
Thurs: Woke up, felt ok. Got out of bed and had a minor headache, slight runny nose, no fever. Felt worse as the day wore on. Took zicam, cetacol and drank so much water I had to use the bathroom every hour.
Fri: woke up with headache, no fever, coughing sporadically, can't blow my nose too much b/c it's bleeding whenever I blow more than once. Can't take my allergy nasal spray --> my stomach is also upset (b/c of nasal drip falling into my stomach) in addition to the chills, general malaise.
Sat: horrible coughing fit, general feeling of unwellness. Runny nose which I can only blow gently occasionally b/c bleeding. Lots of phlegm. Gross. Took some tussin to try to get some this grossness out of my body.
My kitchen looks like a bomb hit it. I'm so not in the mood to have my hands in water right now so it's probably going to stay that way for a while.
I have a date later today - we're supposed to go to a museum, then get something to eat and maybe play pool or bowling. At least that was the plan. I will probably have to cancel even if I feel better later. The worse parts of my day(when I feel like death) are early morning and late evening. Plus I really don't want to give him this sickness.
Saturday, December 1
relax and enjoy
It's 24F but wind chill is only 4F. Small wonder that I was freakin' freezing when I walked the 2 min out to put my netflix DVD in the mailbox.
I went out to the bar last night with my friend Z and it was a lot of fun. It started snowing big fluffy snow flakes and we went out in it and stuck out our tongues. This was fun for less than a minute, then it was just too cold for that kinda nonsense :)
I met a guy online and we met for coffee a couple times. He seemed like a really sweet, normal guy. So we've been out a few more times. He's funny and smart has a great way with words. He's 29 (good age) and not married (also key). I like him. I was a little ambivalent at first b/c he's 6'5" and I'm almost 5ft. He wasn't kidding at all on his profile when he listed that as his height. He's also much leaner than any other guy I've dated before. I was a little worried about being a much shallower person than even I had realized before because both these superficial things really bothered me at first. My friends told me, "you're just looking for excuses, give the guy a chance...how would you like it if he said, she's funny, cute and really nice but just too short".
After all, I was really attracted to him from his emails. In person, when we're sitting, the height thing doesn't occur to me at all. He has really pretty blue eyes which says something that I even noticed at all. It usu takes me forever to figure out what color a guy's eyes are, I guess I don't often pay enough attention. But I noticed his so I think that's a good sign.
So I'm glad I didn't freak out in front of him about it. My Mum says I should just wear heels all the time now. :)
I'm taking things slowly, who knows if it'll become serious or not. For now, I'm having fun with him every time we go out together. So I'm just going to relax and enjoy it.
I went out to the bar last night with my friend Z and it was a lot of fun. It started snowing big fluffy snow flakes and we went out in it and stuck out our tongues. This was fun for less than a minute, then it was just too cold for that kinda nonsense :)
I met a guy online and we met for coffee a couple times. He seemed like a really sweet, normal guy. So we've been out a few more times. He's funny and smart has a great way with words. He's 29 (good age) and not married (also key). I like him. I was a little ambivalent at first b/c he's 6'5" and I'm almost 5ft. He wasn't kidding at all on his profile when he listed that as his height. He's also much leaner than any other guy I've dated before. I was a little worried about being a much shallower person than even I had realized before because both these superficial things really bothered me at first. My friends told me, "you're just looking for excuses, give the guy a chance...how would you like it if he said, she's funny, cute and really nice but just too short".
After all, I was really attracted to him from his emails. In person, when we're sitting, the height thing doesn't occur to me at all. He has really pretty blue eyes which says something that I even noticed at all. It usu takes me forever to figure out what color a guy's eyes are, I guess I don't often pay enough attention. But I noticed his so I think that's a good sign.
So I'm glad I didn't freak out in front of him about it. My Mum says I should just wear heels all the time now. :)
I'm taking things slowly, who knows if it'll become serious or not. For now, I'm having fun with him every time we go out together. So I'm just going to relax and enjoy it.
Thursday, November 22
it's 2am and...
...I'm still up. Went to a late movie and haven't been really sleepy. No work tomorrow so I'm not really bothered. Did plan to go to the 9am service though. Guess that'll depend now on whether I'm able to get up tomorrow/today. I've set my alarm for it since I can then sleep for the rest of the day. Going to C&T's for dinner and am looking forward to that.
Thanksgiving is not such a big deal to me. Christmas is the time of year when I feel off if I'm not with my family so that's the holiday I plan for. Thanksgiving is good though b/c we always get both Thur and Fri off. I'm all about time off :)
We saw "Dan In Real Life" tonight. Didn't have very high expectations for it but I thought it'd be cute, maybe even funny. It was better than we expected. I kinda lost it during a certain scene where "Dan" takes center stage - he looks like he's having a seizure but he's not. When/if you see it, you"ll understand what I mean. I couldn't contain myself and laughed out loud for the whole scene and it was all I could do to keep myself to intermittent giggles once the scene was over. By then my eyes were wet and my sides hurt a little :)
I think the last time, I laughed this much was partly through "Little Miss Sunshine" and during most of "Stranger Than Fiction". Boy, did I enjoy both of those movies. So if you're in 2 minds about seeing "Dan" I say, definitely see it. Not that my opinion means anything as far critically acclaimed films go but I know what I like and I see what I like.
I tend to be more in the mood for a drama/comedy movie than for a dark/mostly violent movie no matter how well acted/directed it is. I like to re-think the parts that made me laugh and sometimes I manage to chuckle at the memory of it as well. With a darker film, I try not to think about the disturbing images even though I do enjoy such movies from time to time.
I should try to get some sleep now.
Thanksgiving is not such a big deal to me. Christmas is the time of year when I feel off if I'm not with my family so that's the holiday I plan for. Thanksgiving is good though b/c we always get both Thur and Fri off. I'm all about time off :)
We saw "Dan In Real Life" tonight. Didn't have very high expectations for it but I thought it'd be cute, maybe even funny. It was better than we expected. I kinda lost it during a certain scene where "Dan" takes center stage - he looks like he's having a seizure but he's not. When/if you see it, you"ll understand what I mean. I couldn't contain myself and laughed out loud for the whole scene and it was all I could do to keep myself to intermittent giggles once the scene was over. By then my eyes were wet and my sides hurt a little :)
I think the last time, I laughed this much was partly through "Little Miss Sunshine" and during most of "Stranger Than Fiction". Boy, did I enjoy both of those movies. So if you're in 2 minds about seeing "Dan" I say, definitely see it. Not that my opinion means anything as far critically acclaimed films go but I know what I like and I see what I like.
I tend to be more in the mood for a drama/comedy movie than for a dark/mostly violent movie no matter how well acted/directed it is. I like to re-think the parts that made me laugh and sometimes I manage to chuckle at the memory of it as well. With a darker film, I try not to think about the disturbing images even though I do enjoy such movies from time to time.
I should try to get some sleep now.
Wednesday, November 21
Seven Songs
Anna tagged me for this :)
1. Half Acre...Hem - I found this song b/c I was looking for the song to the liberty mutual ad(can be found on YouTube) and found this in my search.
2. Teardrop...Massive Attack - I'm really into House these days and it's the theme song for it, it was just in my head so I went out and got their CD Mezzanine.
3. Slowly...Macy Gray - I really love the lyrics to this song, "slow-ow-ly, why can't we just take our time" in Macy G's lovely raspy voice.
4. Lips Of An Angel...Hinder - I don't quite agree with the lyrics b/c it's basically a song about cheating but I love the arrangement, and his voice, and the guitars are perfect, not too much or too little.
5. Like A California King...Everclear - I discovered this when I was listening to this everclear album I've had for a few years now but never noticed this song, it even has a bonus bit at the end. With lyrics like "I will burn you just like teenage love, I will eat you just like meat" I can't resist, not exactly a happy song.
6. It's Beginning To Get To Me...Snow Patrol - I've been listening to this song every morning on the way to work, it wakes me up. Love the lyrics, "you are the only thing that makes sense, just ignore all this present tense".
7. Bright Lights...Matchbox Twenty - one of their best songs.
It was tough to only choose seven :)
I suppose I have to tag...Eddie, SFC and ESC
1. Half Acre...Hem - I found this song b/c I was looking for the song to the liberty mutual ad(can be found on YouTube) and found this in my search.
2. Teardrop...Massive Attack - I'm really into House these days and it's the theme song for it, it was just in my head so I went out and got their CD Mezzanine.
3. Slowly...Macy Gray - I really love the lyrics to this song, "slow-ow-ly, why can't we just take our time" in Macy G's lovely raspy voice.
4. Lips Of An Angel...Hinder - I don't quite agree with the lyrics b/c it's basically a song about cheating but I love the arrangement, and his voice, and the guitars are perfect, not too much or too little.
5. Like A California King...Everclear - I discovered this when I was listening to this everclear album I've had for a few years now but never noticed this song, it even has a bonus bit at the end. With lyrics like "I will burn you just like teenage love, I will eat you just like meat" I can't resist, not exactly a happy song.
6. It's Beginning To Get To Me...Snow Patrol - I've been listening to this song every morning on the way to work, it wakes me up. Love the lyrics, "you are the only thing that makes sense, just ignore all this present tense".
7. Bright Lights...Matchbox Twenty - one of their best songs.
It was tough to only choose seven :)
I suppose I have to tag...Eddie, SFC and ESC
open letter to...
Those germ-infected people at my job...the ones who cough, sneeze, hawk (we use this word in Trini dialect but I've never heard an American use it in this context) and spit(in the lab sink), who constantly blow your nose and never wash your hands after all these activities or put your hand to your mouth.
You have tried to infect me for the last 2 weeks...it seems like everywhere I turned there was another one of you infected people...coughing or hawking in my direction. I don't know if you all have consumption or some awful virus or chest infection. I do wish that you would cover your mouths, wash your hands more frequently and see a damn doctor to get some antibiotics or something before you succeed in infecting me with whatever-the-hell-it-is you have. Once the infection has left you, you'll be ok, I, on the other hand will probably end up with pneumonia once that crap gets settled into my asthmatic lungs.
Sincerely,
Petra(I live in fear)
Well, not really but I could really do without the inconvenience of having to adjust my asthma meds again, I'm finally down to the minimum dosages again.
You have tried to infect me for the last 2 weeks...it seems like everywhere I turned there was another one of you infected people...coughing or hawking in my direction. I don't know if you all have consumption or some awful virus or chest infection. I do wish that you would cover your mouths, wash your hands more frequently and see a damn doctor to get some antibiotics or something before you succeed in infecting me with whatever-the-hell-it-is you have. Once the infection has left you, you'll be ok, I, on the other hand will probably end up with pneumonia once that crap gets settled into my asthmatic lungs.
Sincerely,
Petra(I live in fear)
Well, not really but I could really do without the inconvenience of having to adjust my asthma meds again, I'm finally down to the minimum dosages again.
Thursday, November 15
un-posted
I wrote a fairly lengthy post and saved it as a draft. It was not very flattering to me or the guy I was talking about. It felt good to get it off my chest if only on the screen. I think it's for the best that I left it un-posted.
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