A new way...new mantras

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. By everything. I am trying to change my natural thought patterns. My natural instinct is that the worst case scenario is the one that’s most likely - therefore I need to think about that so that I can be prepared. I know this is somewhat irrational. The worst-case scenario is not the most likely scenario. I sometimes feel like I won’t be able to handle things. I worry. I sometimes think that if I can’t do it right or perfectly, then I might as well just not bother.

Nothing will happen if I’m not perfect. I don’t have to be perfect. My best is good enough. When I make mistakes, it’s ok. The world won’t end because I’m not perfect. NO one is. Everyone makes mistakes. I know this to be true. I don’t have to be perfect. I may not have many friends now that I can talk to. This is unfortunate but not the end of the world. I wish a few more of my really good friends lived closer to me. They don’t. I only have one here. I wish that I could make more friends like them. People who have similar interests, who’ll find the things I want to do fun as well. I don’t trust easily. I also don’t forgive easily either. My trust, once broken, is difficult to mend. I find it difficult to let go. It’s always in the back of my mind and I’m just waiting for the next time they’ll be mean or thoughtless and hurt my feeling again. I feel bad about that. I think it’s very un-Christian of me to find forgiveness of others as difficult as I do. This is ok though. My feelings are ok. It doesn’t make a bad person to feel this way. I know that. Most of the time I do.

I will learn from any mistakes that I make. It’s ok if my Mom doesn’t understand. It’s ok if I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not crazy. I know I have a real problem. But I’m dealing with it. I’m not going to give up. Nothing is lost yet. It’s not hopeless. I will break the cycle I have of negative thoughts. I have been practicing in my head. Turning the “should have” “must” “have to” “need to” “what if” into “can do whatever I want” “don’t have to do that” “can do that if I want” “would be nice if I did that but not the end of the world if I didn’t”.

I can do this. I can be more relaxed. I can change my automatic negative thoughts to more positive ones. I can worry less. I have choices. There is nothing I have to do. I can do whatever I want. I can always say no if I don’t want to do something. I don’t have to justify myself or my decisions to anyone. I have the right to say no without explaining why.