About a boy

There’s a part in one of my favorite movies, About a Boy, where Hugh Grant’s character, Will, during a voiceover says,

It was torture. For 5 minutes, I realized what life would be like if I were in any way interesting…if I had anything to say for myself…If I did anything. But I didn’t do anything.

This is how I felt yesterday. I am such a dork. I was talking to the new guy, let’s call him Sam. One of the analytical instruments is in our lab and Sam came in to use it just as I was leaving it. So we chatted for a little. Then he asked if I had plans for the weekend. I told him that I planned to see King Kong with a couple friends Sat. And I was wondering if I should ask him come with. So I asked if he’d seen it yet and if he wanted to see it. Perfect opening, right? But he said he hadn’t and that his friends had seen and said it was pretty good. But he didn’t say that he wanted to see it. So I just let it go. Then he asked if I had plans for Fri night. So I said, not really, that I planned to go to the gym, then home, cook and stay in. At this point, I felt like I was the most uninteresting people in the world. B/c I don’t really do anything. And when people (guys) ask what I do for fun, I don’t know what to say. Other than that I read, cook, and watch movies. I mean I like to do other stuff. I paint. Not often though. I would go bowling and play pool more if I had people interested in doing it. I’d paint pottery more. A lot of things aren’t fun if you have to beg/convince people to go, at least not for me. I want to do stuff but I don’t want to have to beg. I ask a few times and when people are reluctant, I just let it go. Maybe I could do more initiating myself.

One of the things the psych doc talked about was that jobs like mine and a few others foster obsessive-compulsive personality’s b/c you need to be precise and you need to repeat and double-check yourself. Mistakes can be costly in more ways than one.
Then she asked if I had any distracters, and the fact is that I don’t. So she said we were going to do something about that. I hope she can help.