Sometimes I wonder why I can't find someone. If there's just something wrong with me. Most of the time I think that maybe it's just not time yet. Other times, I think that it's me. There's just something flawed, defective, that other people see but noone will tell me about. but it's there, like a huge sign on my forehead.I wonder about this b/c I see women who are my size, smaller and larger. They have guys. More beautiful than me, not as cute as me. They too have found people to love them. Maybe it's b/c I'm just not willing to settle. Maybe I'm too picky. Or too shallow. But that can't be it cause I know girls who are totally shallow and unkind and somehow, they too have found someone. Of course, there are guys I know who I wouldn't want to be with ever. Yet they have girlfriends.
What brought all this on? When we went out on Sat night to dinner, the sidekick was there. Apparently he had a date afterwards. This made me kind of mad. And it's silly I know. but it's just that, he took my number and never called. Somehow he was able to ask someone else out but not me. This guy is not even worth my time. I think my pride is what was hurt more than anything else. Still, what's wrong with me that guys don't ask me out. They don't. they ask lots of other people out but not me. I don't know how to change whatever it is that makes them not ask me out. I have asked a few guys out before. None of those ended in a way that will make me do that again. The thing is that if noone asks me out and then I don't ask anyone out - does this mean I will alone forever. can I live with that? I don't know.
I just think it sucks and at the moment just want to wallow.
8 comments:
There's nothing wrong with you. You are perfect as you are. Sometimes we are unattached in life, whether we want to be or not. I'm not sure why. Maybe we need to learn something? Maybe the universe is helping us avoid an asshole? Well, there are lots of maybes, but not always a lot of answers.
I do know how you are feeling, though. There have been times when I think, 'why not me? aren't i special enough?' But most of the time I really think it's about timing. And circumstance. And learning life's lessons as they come, not how and when we want them to come. (Even writing that last sentence made me think: Bleck!)
Hope you are feeling better now. Good luck finding the right person for you.
Thanks Ann. This post has been building for some time and it finally just came out. Wasn't sure if I was going to post it but then I did. I do feel better today though.
Dating sucks. I've been single for almost 7 years now. I've been on some dates in that time, but nothing ever to write home about.
I always wonder if I'm the last single person on earth. It certainly feels like it most days.
My problem is that I won't settle. I won't date someone I'm only mildly interested in. If there is no chemistry, I won't waste my time.
Girl, I hear you. I feel like this all the time. There are tons of ditzes/idiots/shallow girls (you get the picture) who have boyfriends/husbands, but why?? Why do guys go for those stupid morons? Can you tell I'm angry and bitter? :)
Sometimes it's OK to wallow.
Sfchick74 - I with you in the whole not wasting time waiting for someone to grow on you, it's either there or not.
Jen - 'stupid morons', I like that :).
I've said those same things..."that girl is fatter, uglier, meaner, etc. than me, why does she have a man and not me?"
That's when my friend says, "If you saw the guy she is with, you probably wouldn't be jealous anymore."
Which is true, but I'm still pissed that I'm single and uggo isn't. Society and instinct puts pressure on a woman to couple up as quickly as possible.
I'm right there with you. It sucks. People say it will happen, we're young, give it time...but what do they know? No guarantees can be given...
Sorry, not encouraging. But I'm at least empathetic!
Sfchick-ok so that's going to be my new word "uggo", lol.
Ktp-I appreciate the empathy.
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