Had the worst night last night. Dark dark time. Had to call my Mom and she was able to calm me down, eventually. Felt like the world was crashing down on me. Felt like I was going to die last night. No kidding. Not because of my asthma per se but this overwhelming feeling came over me. This panicky feeling. I justlost it I guess. And I was crying, not silently but loud, gutteral sobs. That I couldn't seem to control. My nose was running. I could barely think. Didn't really want to worry my Mom but I had to talk to her. I felt so alone. I felt like I was going to die in my sleep. And no one would find me for days. Awful.
Wanted to take today off work but had the big review in front of senior management today. Yeah they changed it from Wed to today at the last minute. They told us about the change around 10am Mon. Good thing my stuff was done by Fri. It went very well, about 3h. Man, it was tough staying awake once my part was over and I had to follow along. Our team went out for drinks after. We got good words from the managers who attended, which is great. Always good to be appreciated for the work you do.
Today was ok. I think that part of the reason for how I felt last night is that I have a really bad sore throat...AGAIN. Started last night. Took some zinc, ginger tea (recommended by guy at work), honey/lemon. At this point, I'll take anything. Just so tired of being sick. So sick of it.
Have to start exercising again too. At least twice a week, not long but maybe 30 min at the gym. I'll take it slow. I had the most awful pain in my leg a couple nights ago. In the same place where it hurt after my car accident early last year. I had physical therapy for 6months. Never want that pain to come back. I have home exercises to do which I've stopped doing. I did do them then when I could move my foot.
Spoke to a friend I haven't spoken to in a while tonight. That pretty much wore out my voice. Also had to call my Mom and let know I was feeling better tonight. I knew she'd be worried. She was, glad I called.
3 comments:
Oh man, I'm glad you're doing better today. Sounds like things were pretty rough last night. And I know you're sick of being sick.
Please hang in there and take care of yourself. You deserve a sick day! or two or three ...
Hey Petra,
I almost sounds as if you were experiencing a panic attack. Which totally sucks. But the (relatively) good news is that panic attacks are generally treatable. Check out:
http://www.freedomfromfear.com/aanx_factsheet.asp?id=10
and
http://www.freedomfromfear.com/aanx_factsheet.asp?id=24
Take care,
Ann
Jennifer-thanks.
Ann-thanks for the sites, I did look at them and maybe that's what it was.
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