I'm waiting

So I finally ans that guy - speed dating site - 5 days after he sent me that email. I figure he could wait 5 days like I did. My other thing with this guy Jack, is that even though he has my email (as well as my tel) he still only emails through the dating site. A little weird to me. In any event, I'm just going to let that go.

Got an email last night from one of the guys I had a date with at the speed dating thingy. Yeah so last time I heard from 'Ruskie' was just before Christmas last year. We both wre going out of town and said we'd try to meet up when we got back. Jan...Feb...Mar 15th, suddenly I exist again. He says he's had a crazy couple of months and sold his business and got a new job and moved. I guess that explains the no communication.

What is it with some guys? Do they think I'm stupid? I was born at night but not LAST night. If you're interested, don't wait 5 days or 2 and 1/2 months or 1 month(I can thank the QB for that one). That is too long. How can I take either of these guys seriously now.

Plus Ruskie has a kid. I realize that most people my age do have at least one if not more kids but personally, I don't want a 'package deal'. If everything else was easy, just flowed naturally. NO red flags or lame excuses. Fine, I could probably work with that. But as things stand, it just doesn't seem worth me getting dressed up to meet either of them.

Recently I've trying to get over my little crush on Sam. So I’ve not been visiting his lab just to chat or his desk either. Before I’d decided that it wasn’t going anywhere with Sam, I’d convinced myself that if he was interested, he’d seek me out in the same way that I was seeking him out. Even though my guy friends at work (the married ones or practically marrieds) come visit me from time to time, I still thought this would be a good sign. Anyhoo, I have to stop myself from inventing excuses to visit his lab(him). Today, today, he came to visit me. My cubicle is not on the way to anyone else’s so he came specifically to see me. My back was turned and I was quite surprised to say the least. I think I was able to act mostly normal.

Still, it may mean nothing. Here’s why I decided to jump off the Sam-bandwagon: a couple weeks ago, he and I were chatting outside the main cubicle area about this and that. Then I think I mentioned something about my friend E (who I carpool to class with). He then asked where she sat. So I told him - the cubicle behind mine. He said that he thought she sat someplace else and just came to visit me often(he can hear us talking I guess). You can’t see her desk from the main door like you can see mine. He sits in the cubicle opposite to hers but there’s a fake wall between them that you can’t see over unless you’re like over 6”. So that’s when I thought, is he interested in her? Why does he care where she sits? That’s when I figured that I was wasting my time thinking he was into me.

Then today when he came to visit me at my desk, he stayed for almost 10min. That’s a long time to stand and chat. We were talking about stuff and he was looking at the pics at my desk/on my wall: mostly x-files pics and Jeter calendar. Then I could hear E snickering at my saying that I started watching baseball b/c of Derek Jeter. She’s an anti-Yankee but I try not to hold it against her. Even though she holds my liking the Yankees against me but that’s another blog :) Back to the point, that’s when Sam says, “oh, is that where E sits, back there?” Yes. Yes. I told you this the last time we spoke. Why do you care Sam? I’m single. And interested. At least I was. She’s taken, living with her bf. Anymore taken than that and she’d be married.

What is wrong with the world? I think all the planets that relate to me are out of sync. Maybe my chi is out of whack? I don't know what it is but I've had enough of it. It can stop anyday now. Fix itself, realign, whatever. I'm waiting...